Flirting Se Cheating Tak? Partner Ki Loyalty Ka Sach | EP 16 | Powered By Detective Guru™
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Title: Flirting Se Cheating Tak? Partner Ki Loyalty Ka Sach | EP 16 | Powered By Detective Guru™
Author Name: The Investigation Room
Description: A lot has changed with the changing times regarding suspicion, flirting, cheating, and privacy in relationships. In Episode 16, learn how relationship investigations have changed between the past and present.
✅ Why did girls come for more investigations 10 years ago?
✅ What changes have occurred in the relationships between boys and girls today?
✅ Does flirting always lead to cheating?
✅ When can suspicion in a relationship be genuine?
✅ What are the emotional risks that come with love?
✅ How do hotels and CCTV cameras affect privacy?
✅ Do people record and upload their own private videos these days?
🎙️ An open and interesting conversation on relationships, suspicion, and the changing digital age.
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Transcript:
(00:05) You are a detective. Girls come to you to get investigations done, and boys also come for their partners. So, who is higher in number? If I consider a 10-year ratio, up until 10 years ago, girls used to come more often. Boys have a habit of flirting. Right? Now, that doesn't mean...I mean, everyone has their own different reasons.
(00:33) The genes are from the start, that same flirting. You brought up the rose, didn't you? You are the thorns. Us. The rose, so... No, no, along with the rose, thorns also come. Oh, thorns also come? They prick you in your life. Now the girl is ready, the boy is ready , and they go somewhere.
(00:57) In many hotels these days, these CCTV cameras... I feel that nowadays, MMS clips have stopped being made. Right, these days guys and girls make and upload their own videos. Friends, our episode today is a very good episode. It is on a unique topic. There is a saying you must have heard many times: that no one can understand girls .
(01:32) I think many people would agree with the fact that no one can understand girls. Understand in the sense of their words, their minds, and their moods; no one can understand them. You must be thinking he's saying it right. I'm saying it right, aren't I? If I'm right , then comment below. But today I have brought someone who not only understands girls but can also read their minds.
(02:02) So, without further ado, let me take you directly to the one and only private detective, international detective, Mr. Rahul Rai Gupta. Hi sir, how are you? Very well. Very well. So sir, our topic today is that when it comes to girls, girlfriends, and boyfriends, and they have even the slightest argument or discussion, the girl says, "You never understood me.
(02:27) " Is it just him, or can no boy understand a girl? Now I have already said that while no one can understand girls, Detective Guru can. So sir, how much, to what extent can you understand them? Tell us a little. So, Sohail brother, I feel that you have praised me a bit too much, right? Now there is a lot of responsibility on me...
(02:46) No, I have seen it. I’ve noticed how well you handle things, so I’ve observed from the episodes we’ve made that when a girl can’t be understood by anyone, you manage to make her understand perfectly. So today, you have to tell us how you do that. I have so many questions. I also have many stories from my friends that we’ll share.
(03:06) But let’s start from the beginning. So first of all, to understand them, it is necessary to actually understand them. The guy says, "Bro, I am understanding her." She says , "You don't understand me." Yes, so that means he isn't understanding her. How should a guy understand? First and foremost, listen to what the girl is saying properly.
(03:24) Now, what is the problem here? Let me tell you the psychological issue. Suppose you are talking to a friend of yours. Right? What do you do? You do one of three things. You listen and understand, or you don't listen and don't understand. You just try to give a reply. Hmm. Brother, that is the problem. We either don't listen to someone or we don't want to understand.
(04:04) We just want to reply to keep our ego ahead. How can we keep our point on top? Right? You must have often seen two people fighting over who should listen to whom. "Listen to me." They are fighting. Right? Yes. So, why is this fight happening? Because they aren't listening to each other.
(04:28) Understanding is a far-off thing . So, my point is that no one understands girls. Girls say, "You don't understand us," so that means they are right. Then ? They are right. So, guys haven't been able to understand girls yet. They don't want to understand. I see. Because they don't listen. So what should a guy do? That’s exactly what I’m explaining.
(04:48) I am explaining that this isn't just about boys and girls. This applies to any relationship whatsoever. Whether it's husband and wife. You have a son, daughter, father, mother, siblings, or teacher and student. In any relationship, be it professional or personal, listening first is essential. Hmm. After listening, it is important to understand what has been heard.
(05:16) When you respond after understanding, that response will be much more valuable. More than the answer you give without understanding or listening. But I have the same question again. The guy says, "Brother, I am understanding my partner." His girlfriend or wife, whoever she is. He says, "I am giving my 100%.
(05:39) ""I am trying to make her understand.""She isn't able to understand." From the other side, the girl says, "Brother, you never understand." The problem here is different. What, tell me? You just said that the guy tries to make her understand. Not the guy, the girl doesn't have to understand.
(05:57) Here we are discussing the issue that the guy has to understand. What? The one who is supposed to understand is trying to explain. So how will that work? Alright, let me give you an example right now. It happened just a day or two ago. I have a friend. He has a girlfriend. He told me he was very upset. So he discussed it. First, tell me this.
(06:16) I am interrupting you. Does he have only one girlfriend? I mean, keep this in mind as you speak, only then will the right answer come out. He has only one girlfriend. His... I mean, the reason is that the answer I will give you... Right? I will answer only after listening and understanding, because I will not make the mistake that people often make.
(06:36) That is why I brought Detective Guru here, and because his experience is of 30 years, not just in India but outside India as well. So the right answer will come from here, and I know that no one can understand girls, but he understands them and even explains them .
(06:53) That is why my question is, like you are saying, when I am saying that the guy is explaining and the girl is not understanding. I will explain it to you with an example. Now you tell me in that, if it is the guy's fault or the girl's fault. I want to say one more thing now, that what you are saying right now about no one being able to understand girls.
(07:07) You are saying it while laughing. You are saying it while laughing. I mean, you ...girls... Should I say it while crying? No, not crying, I mean ask seriously, this is a serious topic. Okay? If you speak while laughing, it will seem like you are making fun of our problem. Yes, because it will seem to the listener that you are making fun of girls.
(07:29) Even though you are not making fun. I know because I understand you. I listen to you. I understand you. That is why I know you are not making fun. But the other person will think that you are making fun. Right? So, you shouldn't make fun of anyone. The discussion we are going to have here, or are having, needs to be a fruitful one so that the listeners can understand things.
(07:55) They can process these things and implement them in their lives so that if their lives are going a bit off-track, they can get back on track. The reason I have a smile on my face is that I have many friends, and when they come and tell me their stories—like, "Brother, today I tried to tell my girlfriend or my wife this"—she just says, "No, you are wrong, you should have done it like this.
(08:22) " They say, "Brother, I give my 100%." But she is not ready to understand. Let me give you an example to the point. Let me tell you about just yesterday. Let me tell you about yesterday, Sunday. I got a call from a friend of mine. He was very troubled. He told me something. I asked, "Brother , what happened?" In the morning, he said that he and his girlfriend had planned to go somewhere on Saturday, thinking, "Okay, on Sunday we will go together, enjoy in Delhi, watch a movie , or go visit somewhere," and his girlfriend said, "Okay, fine, I'll let
(08:46) you know in the morning." Then he said that in the morning he messaged her asking, "Are we going?" and she said, " I have a lot of work today.""I have to wash clothes.""We only get one day," and things like that, she said. So, he said, "Okay, you finish your work, I'll finish my own work.
(09:03) " Although, he didn't really have any work. He, the guy, said he was in a bad mood too because he had made plans. Now, the girl calls him in the afternoon, and after calling, she says, "You didn't call or text me at all." So the guy says, "Brother, tell me one thing, when you already told me you were busy, doing laundry, and couldn't go with me, why would I disturb you by calling or messaging?" So the issue is, the guy says, "Brother, tell me one thing, when she refused to go, saying, 'I can't go, I'm doing laundry.'" Now she is saying
(09:35) that since I refused, why didn't you try to convince me? Why didn't you try to convince me? Now imagine she said no , and the guy accepted it and didn't say anything further to her. Fair enough, he respected her decision. He stayed home. Right, and didn't go with her.
(09:51) Now the girl’s issue is that she is fighting over the fact that she said no, and that’s fine. But why didn't you try to convince me? So he’s really troubled, saying, "If I had convinced her, she would've said I'm forcing her and that she has no life of her own. But if I don't, then this becomes an issue." Now they're fighting , and he’s like, "How do I make this girl understand?" So this is the issue; what should the guy do in a situation like this? See, the matter here is something else entirely.
(10:17) The point is that the guy needs to understand here. Not make the girl understand. I said earlier that the guy needs to understand it himself. There is no point in explaining things here. Hmm. Now tell me, do you know what time your friend asked her to go out? He said he asked at night, and she replied, "I'll tell you in the morning.
(10:37) " Then in the morning, when he asked, she said, "I have a lot of work." So the guy said, "Okay." Now in the afternoon, she’s fighting over this. He says she’s fighting because "Why didn't you try to convince me?""Brother, I said once that I have work, so it was your duty to convince me, like, 'Forget the chores for later, let's go out first.
(10:55) '" So the guy says, "Man, what should I do in such a situation?" Yes, in a relationship, when your partner is like this, they want special attention, because it happens, whether male or female—I won't just talk about females here. Yes, females do tend to be a bit more attention-seeking .
(11:19) So they want attention from their boyfriend or husband. They feel that if they say yes the first time, he’ll think they were just waiting and ready. Right? So it’s possible he might take me for granted next time. Right? Or my respect might decrease. So sometimes a girl says no for this reason too. So it is the guy's duty to at least ask two or three times.
(11:41) Meaning, it’s the guy’s fault? No, no, there’s no fault or such problem here. It's not about whose fault it is. See, this is a relationship. There will be many moments in a relationship when you will have to do all these things. So, if you start doing these things from the beginning, there won't be any misunderstandings between you two.
(11:59) There won't be any miscommunications between you. There won't be any friction, and you can manage your relationship the right way. Now, enjoy this. So, what mistake did the guy make here? Let me tell you the mistake. He overthought it. He called the girl from his heart, thinking let's go out since both would have time.
(12:22) It was Sunday yesterday. So, what's his name? Yes. Let's have a get-together somewhere. Let's have a get-together. Right? But the problem was that the girl refused. The girl politely declined, saying, "I am busy with housework." Okay? Hmm. It is possible she also wanted to meet. Bro, when she's your girlfriend, she will want to meet too.
(12:44) She would also want to go out, hang out, and have some romance. Right? So, what did the guy do ? As soon as the girl refused, he overthought it and said, "Okay, let me just do my own work then." You just said he didn't have any work. Bro, if he didn't have any work, why is he saying no? Why is he saying, "I will do my own work"? I mean, when you have no work, why are you saying that? You should tell her, "Look, I'm off today and you're off too.""Let me do this.
(13:13) "" I'll come over to your place.""I'll help you wash your clothes, we'll hang them up, and then we'll go out together ." So, that is where the guy is lacking a bit. Okay? Secondly, nowadays there are scenarios where there are many places you can go and take your laundry with you.
(13:37) You can wash your clothes there too. Right? Like, somewhere... What kind of place? I mean, for instance, if the girl has a fully automatic washing machine. Then she can put the clothes in it. I don't know if your friend's girlfriend has a fully automatic washing machine or not. If she doesn't, maybe the guy has one.
(13:59) So if the guy has one, he can say, "Pack the clothes in a bag and bring them here, we'll wash them first and then go out." One second. So that means if they only got one day, Sunday, then... So, the boy and girl will wash clothes together. There is a romance in washing clothes too. What kind of romance is that? Why, what do you mean why not? What is the problem with that? Brother, they both will be standing together.
(14:22) The girl will feel good. The boy is helping her wash her clothes. More respect and love for him will grow in the girl's heart, knowing he is caring for her. He is looking after her. Right? He is supporting her in her problems or her work. So, what is a relationship, anyway? A relationship is just about supporting each other.
(14:41) It is just about caring for one another. It is just about looking after each other. What else is it? She would have felt much better, and the love in her eyes for the boy at that moment would have been the kind of love that, if your friend had seen, he would have been very happy . So, he missed the opportunity.
(15:00) So, it is the boy's fault. Yes, it is absolutely the boy's fault. There is no doubt about it. Now, what should the boy do? Then? Okay, he has one more question. Then? Yes, yes. He says that, okay, fine, that happened , and in the afternoon, there was still an argument going on over this issue. Then, coincidentally, or from somewhere , some besan laddus must have arrived.
(15:19) Yes, yes. And the girl liked those laddus too. Besan ones were her favorite. He says she called him. She asks, "What are you doing?" Hmm. He says, "I'm eating laddus." She asks, "Which ones?" He says, "Besan ones.""Oh, you're eating my favorite laddus after fighting with me?" I mean, now she is fighting about this too.
(15:37) She will fight, she will. Now why will she fight? Actually, she is even more correct in this. She will fight because, look, I like besan laddus and you are sitting and eating them alone. Right? Now you will ask, what should the boy do then? The boy would have known that she likes besan laddus. So, what was the boy's duty? He should have taken a photo and sent it, like you were saying, right? He could have said, "Well, I couldn't meet you, so your besan laddus will do; I am happy with your besan laddus."
(16:08) Oh, that was the mistake. Right? So, you express it to her, because just loving isn't enough. You have to express love too. You have to show love too. Showing off love is also necessary. Right? So, your friend should have told that girl, "Look, I couldn't meet you.""I'm all alone at home today.
(16:31) ""I ordered your favorite laddus." I am eating this. Right? Then her respect for him grows even more, like, look at him, sitting alone, eating my favorite laddoos. Keeping himself entertained with just that. This. All in all, the guy should have treated her. Okay, fine. The girl will stay here. The guy should be a bit understanding; if she’s saying no, then let it be, try again next time if a similar situation arises.
(16:56) No, next time I'll have to see what the situation is. What is it? What if she says, "I'm out with my mom"? So, he can't really say, "Take your mom along too." Let's go out. Well, there are many such issues. I've seen it with many of my friends too, like boyfriend-girlfriend. Hmm, hmm. Now, the girlfriend calls the boyfriend .
(17:18) Or let's say the boyfriend called the girlfriend first. Hmm. Then the girlfriend says, "I'm busy right now.""I'm here.""I'll talk to you later." The guy understands. Right? Now, if the girl calls and the boy cuts the call in the same situation or says he's busy, even if he's genuinely busy, then why is the girl's question always the same? " Don't you even have time to pick up my call?" It’s mostly like that.
(17:45) Then what should the guy do? And he says, "I was busy," and she replies, " Oh, you've become so busy now!" And some girls even get suspicious, wondering if you are with another girl. What to do in this situation? In this situation, look, there are two ways. The first way is that when the girl, the girlfriend, calls, if the boyfriend is in a position to pick up, he should pick up. Talk very lovingly.
(18:11) Talk for a minute or half a minute and explain the situation that I am here and doing this work. So, as soon as I am free, I will call you back. Right? That’s one way, which is a good way. The second way is, if you can't pick up the phone because you're in a place where you're with seniors or in a meeting, then if you can text or WhatsApp, just send a WhatsApp to your girlfriend explaining you're busy.
(18:37) " I'll call as soon as I'm free." Right? So that’s one thing. The third point is, if you couldn't do these two things and you talk later after half an hour or an hour, and the girl says something like that, then don't take it to heart. Don't think that she is scolding you. She is expressing her love.
(18:55) She is showing you love. She is professing her affection. I mean, you should take it as love. Take it like flowers. The taunts from a girlfriend should also be like flowers. They should feel like that. See, I... That's why I say no one can understand girls. Detective Guru can understand. They take even the taunts like flowers.
(19:15) Look, I am not bragging about myself. But it is the truth that the way you think about something, that is exactly what you will see. If you believe, I am Mother Ganga; if you don't, I am just flowing water. Right? So it is your faith. Okay? How do you take something? If you take her taunts as taunts.
(19:39) Okay? Then it will give you pain. If you take her taunts as love, then it will give you happiness. So what do you want? Do you want happiness or pain? You have to decide this. The other person is going to do what they are doing. But how do you want to perceive it? Like Gandhi Ji used to say, if someone slaps you, turn the other cheek.
(19:59) Well, times aren't like that anymore. Right? But his meaning was that when someone slaps you and you turn the other cheek, they will feel insulted. They will think, what am I doing to this person? In today's time , the person would just hit you again. But in a relationship, if someone is giving you taunts.
(20:20) Okay? And you are not reacting too much to it. Right? Then the other person might feel a little ashamed, thinking, "I've been taunting him for so long, and this guy isn't reacting.""He is just showing love." So it's possible that next time she might not taunt, or taunt less, or the intensity might decrease. I mean, her power to taunt might diminish.
(20:44) Right? So it depends on you how you perceive those things. Well, for instance, there is a situation where a girlfriend and a couple, we... And there is a lot of love between them , and somewhere or other, the girl feels insecure, we... I mean, he loves me a lot, but what if he's having an affair somewhere? And she asks a friend to watch him or put his loyalty to the test.
(21:21) Isn't that wrong if you're living together in a relationship—I mean, aside from marriage, you've already shared everything. Even then, the girl doesn't trust him, and many girls do this. So, to what extent is this right? Look, what you said about there being no trust. I don't believe that. If she didn't have trust, she wouldn't be with him in the first place.
(21:44) Then why is she conducting a loyalty test? The loyalty test she is conducting comes from her love. She has so much love inside her that she doesn't want to lose that person. She just wants to make sure that this person still loves her as much as he did in the beginning. But if a guy is saying, "Hey, I love you,"" And I am only yours, and there is no one else in my life.
(22:12) " Then she should believe that this person is genuine. If we live with someone, we should at least be able to tell if they are speaking the truth. Or lying. Yet, she still does it. Why is that? What happens is, when two people communicate, Sometimes the guy might say something loose, Or if a girl's friend is there, she notices him looking at her, trying to mix with her more, or when they are in a group, he might say something that makes the girl feel insecure.
(22:44) She feels that this guy might cheat on me. So when such a situation arises—even if I know the whole story, like when I generally counsel people—they tell me everything. They tell me every little detail. Only then can I tell them exactly where the problem in their relationship lies. Because if you want to fix a problem, identifying it is very important.
(23:11) To identify the problem , it is very important to understand and listen to the whole story. To understand and listen, it is necessary that both people sitting in front of me , whether it's a couple or just one of them, must be as honest with me as possible, sharing even the smallest details or mistakes they themselves might have made.
(23:38) So, the answer to your question is that the boy must have done something that made the girl feel a bit insecure, leading her to feel the need for a loyalty test. But I have seen a very large number of boys too. I have a small question. You are a detective. Women must be coming to you for investigations too. Men must also be coming regarding their partners .
(24:08) So, who comes in greater numbers? If I consider the ratio from 10 years ago, then until 10 years ago, more women used to come. Right? 70%or 80%were women. As of today , more men are coming. So, are women cheating more? No, that doesn't mean they are cheating more. Hmm. It means that insecurity now exists on both sides.
(24:33) Earlier, there was insecurity among women. Now, there is insecurity among men as well. Men get it done too. Men get it done too. But as far as my friends go, most of them are troubled by their girlfriends. But I tell them, "Bro, if you are troubled, just leave." They don't want to leave either. I don't know why.
(24:49) What is the logic behind this? Look, I wouldn't say that...If there is a problem in their relationship, then there is trouble. Sometimes the trouble lies in what I was talking about earlier—the constant need to listen, understand, and react. Right? So, this is exactly the problem. A relationship involves two people.
(25:12) It requires three things. One is the need for mutual respect. First and foremost, if two people don't respect each other. Right? Then they cannot stay together for very long. The second is understanding. If there is no understanding of each other, then there are problems in the relationship. And the third is compatibility.
(25:35) Compatibility is of three types. One is social compatibility. One is physical compatibility. One is mental compatibility. If the compatibility doesn't match, then there are problems too. So, the friends you say are troubled, they likely have issues with compatibility, understanding, or mutual respect.
(25:56) That is the reason they are troubled. Either they are not respecting their girlfriend themselves. Or their girlfriend is not respecting them. Or they are not doing anything to deserve their girlfriend's respect. No, that's not really the case. I mean, all the guys I've met say that she just tells them to go to sleep. Okay, let me ask you one thing.
(26:16) Why does a guy have an affair with a girl? That would be his own personal reason. Generally, you're talking about your friends, so your friends... My friends are not, I mean, not like that. Okay, whether it's friends or anyone in the whole world, generally, what is a guy's perspective on making friends with a girl—in school, college, office, while traveling on the metro, flight, at the airport, bus stand, or railway station—why is a guy attracted to a girl? Look, I agree with you on this, that a large number of
(26:55) guys have a habit of flirting. Right? Now, that doesn't mean everyone has the same reason; everyone has their own different reasons. Some guys flirt for other things. Some guys think, let's just find a good partner. We will spend our life with them. Right? So, these are the two reasons.
(27:14) What other reason is there, you tell me? It's the genes. The genes from the start are those of flirting. A male cannot stay happy with one female. Why? The genes are like that. I mean, it has been structured that way from the beginning. You will see that there were kings. They used to have many queens.
(27:39) Right? In various places, you will see that brothels were open. So, the sex worker there would be a female, and the clients would be males. They still exist today. Right? So, although today there are many such things where we talk about playboys or many other things. But in general, when you look at it, our society has been male-dominated from the beginning, and males have been flirting.
(28:11) Males have been involved with more than one female . So, this has been there from the start. You can go to any country. You can go to any culture. You will find all these things there. So, it is in their genes to do such things. Now, why do they do this? One, their nature is like that.
(28:33) Secondly, they do it for sex . Okay? It's just their nature to flirt . They see a beautiful girl. Even if their wife is sitting right there. She is very beautiful. Instead of looking at her, they will look at the girl in front, who might not even be as beautiful as the wife. You can test this yourself. Let me tell you what I do.
(28:53) My life is such that I do a lot of experiments. I sit at the airport. Suppose I arrive two hours early. I observe people. I watch what they are doing. I try to understand their psychology. You'll see, you should try this yourself after this podcast, go sit at an airport, a bus stand, or a railway station. Somewhere there is a crowd. Right? There are females there, and males too.
(29:23) You will notice that females won't be checking out any guys. Like this. Maybe a few might, but generally, that doesn't happen. Right? But men, if there are 100 men sitting there, most of them will be checking out or staring at some female present there. So, you can feel this yourself; if you walk past where many women are sitting, they might not even notice you.
(29:57) But if there are many men sitting there and a female walks by, they will tell you her height , and what clothes she was wearing. What shoes was she wearing? What was her hair like? How did she look? They will tell you everything. Most will have completely scanned the girl. Right? So this is in the nature of males.
(30:17) Isn't it? This is the human nature of a male. Right? Now, as you said, if a girl passes by, boys will definitely look at her. They scan, and they do. I have seen it in many places too. But there are many girls who walk past boys and the boys don't look at them. They ignore them. Then a thought crosses their mind, "Who is this?""Why didn't they look at me?" What do you call that situation? Like that dialogue from Hrithik Roshan.
(30:50) "Who was it who didn't even turn to look at Poo?" I’ve seen many girls who, if they want to be noticed and you don’t pay attention to them, they think, "Wow, so much attitude?""What are you so arrogant about that you didn't even look back?" Do you want to fulfill that girl's desire, or do you want to focus on your own work? If she’s thinking that—even if one in ten or one in a hundred girls thinks that way—let them think it.
(31:17) What’s the problem? I’m not saying you shouldn’t look, and I’m not saying you must look either. Right? I am no one to lecture or preach to anyone. You’ve asked me from a psychological perspective why this happens. What happens? Right? So, both males and females have their own respective reasons for this. For instance, a male's reason is that his nature is to flirt.
(31:44) It’s been like that for him from the very beginning. It’s in his genes to flirt, or at least he’s capable of it. Right? Not everyone does it, but most people do. Girls are the opposite of this. They generally don’t flirt. Right? Now, even if a girl thinks that way, what difference does it make to us? Suppose I’m sitting somewhere and I don't want to look, then I won't look.
(32:06) If I do look, or my gaze falls on someone, then so be it; what’s the issue? Neither that girl nor I have a problem with a simple glance. Right? I might have even looked and scanned her. But yes, you must be careful that if you are sitting somewhere as a male—I’m addressing this to men—where members of the opposite sex are passing by, and you want to maintain your character, you shouldn’t make others feel uncomfortable; for example, if a girl walks by, you look at her and scan her up and down. Then she walks back past
(32:49) you. And you are still staring, not even caring that the girl can tell you’re leering at her. In many countries, there is even a penalty for staring at someone. Oh. Yes. There are many such countries, like Australia, as far as I know, if I’m not mistaken. If you stare at someone for 29 seconds straight and it’s caught on camera, and it’s proven you were staring, you can get punished.
(33:18) It isn't gender-biased, it applies to everyone. No, no, I'm talking about male to male. Male to female. Male to female, female to male. So what’s the problem with staring? The male would be happy. The male would be happy. This law is wrong. No, no, the law... What kind of law is this? It’s not about the law.
(33:35) The point is that some laws are made for the rights of women. As I told you, the majority of people who do this are males. Not females. So that’s why the law isn't for them. It’s not against them. Alright? So you need to keep your character in check. You need to keep your own things in check. So, regarding that girlfriend issue, you asked what the guy should do or why she did a loyalty test, or why it even came to her mind? Because many times in our lives, we make mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly, where our partner feels
(34:13) that this person could be like that. So when she thinks that, and because she loves us, her insecurity towards us increases. She loves you, yet she can't leave you. Right? So take it as a compliment; if she’s testing your loyalty, imagine how much love that person must have for you to even be suspicious, because that neighbor of yours who has nothing to do with you won't suspect you, will she? Only someone who loves you will suspect you.
(34:49) So, it means if there is love, there will be suspicion too. Where there is love, there will also be suspicion. Yes. It can’t be that there is only love. And no suspicion at all. No, it’s never like that. With a rose, there will be thorns. Okay? If you want the fragrance of the rose, you have to accept the thorns too.
(35:08) You are the thorns. We? The rose is... No, no, along with the rose, thorns also come. Oh, so thorns come too. They will keep pricking you in your life. They should also come in between. If you keep eating only sweet things. You won't enjoy the sweetness unless you eat something salty, right? The real fun of love is when there is a little bit of conflict in it too.
(35:27) So you guys are listening. There should be a dash of conflict as well. In it. The fun of love is only when there is conflict in it. And a dash of conflict. So. A dash of suspicion. Yes. So, only Detective Guru seems to be able to understand and explain girls so far. But I think a lot of guys must be watching right now.
(35:46) They must be saying, "Brother, we are doing everything.""She just doesn't understand." No, there is a simple way. Book a consultation with me. Okay? Okay. If you are in such a...I am not joking. I am speaking very seriously. That if someone is in a serious love affair, Hmm. And he feels that, "Man, my girlfriend is just not able to understand me.
(36:12) " Or she says that I am not able to understand her, or there is some problem between us. Right? So I am in a dilemma where I don't know what to do; I can't leave her because my heart is attached. Hmm. But the brain says, "Brother, what is going on in your life?" Hmm. So what should a guy do? Hmm. Alright, that's fine.
(36:31) So book our online consultation; we will talk on a Zoom meeting, talk on a video call. And You can also meet physically. Yes, I mean, you can come to the office too. If you live in Delhi NCR, you can come and meet; otherwise, you can take a consultation telephonically. Take the consultation, discuss it, tell the whole story, including the mistakes you made—be sure to do that.
(36:56) It's not like you only have to show me the good parts. If you show it one-sided, then I won't be able to guide you properly on how to fix your life. It won't be of any use. Right? That's for sure. Look, I know. I, I will give you an example, I will give you an example. I had an acquaintance who knew that I am a private detective and that I make videos on these kinds of cases, on relationship intelligence, and that I also provide counseling for this; they knew everything.
(37:29) But anyway, sometimes what happens is that an acquaintance doesn't want to discuss things. They feel that their privacy or their secrets will be leaked. But when things go too far, the person ends up telling. I had one such acquaintance. He had a girlfriend. They were going to get married. So he introduced me to her. I met the girl and talked to her.
(37:54) I found her very sweet. I liked her. So I said, "Brother, it's fine, she's a good girl, you move forward with her, there's no problem." Now, he only introduced me. He had only shown the good side of the girl. He didn't tell me the whole story . Then one day, I got a call from him. He was very troubled.
(38:11) He told me the whole story, saying I cover all these expenses too. I do this as well. I even do that for her. He mentioned the financial side, saying he feels a heavy burden regarding these expenses. Well, that's his own understanding of how he manages things. Secondly, he said that whenever he is in a relationship with her, she checks his mobile.
(38:35) Even that, I say, isn't such a huge deal. Then he told me that one day she called all the girls from his chats, asking who they were and how they knew him. So, she did many such things that made me feel there were a lot of red flags. So, I told him, brother, you should leave this girl immediately.
(39:01) This girl is not worthy of you. She is not worthy of your love, and the things she is doing are not right. So, you should leave her . Although, later on, their relationship didn't last. He didn't leave her because of what I said, but he realized himself that these things weren't right. So, they have both separated.
(39:19) Right? But my point in telling this story is that sometimes there are things that the other person might not disclose. I mean, both sides were shown; when he hadn't told me everything, I was okay with the girl, approving her, thinking she was fine and there was no issue. When he told me everything, I realized, and I told him myself that no, brother, this isn't going well, there's trouble here, there are too many red flags, and I think you should do this, okay? So, if someone comes and tells me the whole story, I can provide them with counseling. I can
(39:53) tell them what the right way is to handle a relationship. I won't say the way to handle the girl. What is the way to handle the relationship? That is what I can teach. That was absolutely well said. I keep watching too, because he is a private detective, and he gets many cases not just in India but also abroad, and he handles consultations as well.
(40:17) So, if you are even slightly troubled in your relationship and you want to discuss things without telling your girlfriend. You need a friend like that. You can meet such friends. You can tell them everything, and they will give you a great solution. I hope your relationship goes well. But this friend charges money; he doesn't give advice for free. This, for free.
(40:39) Yes, keep this in mind, because I'll tell you the reason for clarifying this ; see, free advice isn't... It doesn't work, that free advice. Today, I tell many people who are my acquaintances. I... If someone asks me something, I tell them. Obviously, if someone is an acquaintance, if you are my friend, then I can't take money from you, right ? Talking about you and all.
(41:03) But most of the people I tell, especially those who get it for free, those who are my acquaintances, they don't act on that advice, they don't implement it. But when a stranger, impressed by me, by my words, by my videos or my podcasts, takes a consultation from me, listens to me, understands it, they implement it and they also benefit from it.
(41:27) Hmm. So you will only benefit when you spend a little money, because then you have to listen. You feel that you have invested something in this conversation , invested in this advice, so that advice feels valuable to you. When you get that advice for free, it doesn't feel valuable. That is why I charge.
(41:48) Yes, yes, and one should. He has 30 years of experience, and if you want to take his consultation, the link is mentioned in the description. You can get it from there for only ₹ 999. For ₹ 999, you can get a consultation and bring balance to your relationship that is currently a bit imbalanced.
(42:10) Now, my next question is, why can't girls and boys understand each other? Many boys have this complaint. I have seen them fighting, or when I ask someone, "Bro, why did you break up?" Then many boys say this same thing, that when we want to do something, the girl says, "No, I don't want to.
(42:31) " And when the girl wants to do something, she says, "Yes, we have to do it." So they say, "Man, we don't want to, but she wants to; why does this happen?" I told you that there should be understanding; it's a problem of understanding in your mind. How to get understanding in this? The understanding is that you align yourself with your partner to know when she is in the mood.
(42:54) When you look at her entire monthly cycle, you will understand well when your female partner is in the mood to be physical. So you can prepare your mind accordingly. No, let's assume someone... A girl comes home after getting married . Right? Sometimes she doesn't like certain things in the house. Right? But she adjusts.
(43:18) Isn't that right? Similarly, let the girl lead in some things. Let your female partner lead. Physical intimacy is similar; when you let your female partner lead and put the reins in her hands, you will be able to enjoy it more. And that is where the formula for compatibility fits in.
(43:43) This is what is called compatibility. It is called timing. It is called their mindset. It is called their understanding. It is knowing when, what, and how to do something. Right? It is how much and in what way to do it. It is what is liked and what is disliked. Right? So when all these things happen, your compatibility becomes strong.
(44:04) When compatibility is strong, because the center point of a relationship is compatibility. Right? So when your compatibility with your partner is strong, right? Then all other things will start seeming small to you. No. But what I mean is, you said it very correctly. It can be done like that.
(44:26) But these things cannot always happen like that; I have met many such people who are different. In that, the reason is mostly this: that brother, I feel like being physical with the girl, and I am telling my partner. She says I am not in the mood. She doesn't explain it like you said, that a guy handles the girl. The girl doesn't handle him.
(44:45) Okay, she isn't in the mood. But she should handle it well. She flat out says, "Oh, this is all you ever want." So you, I'm not in the mood. So why is she not able to handle it the right way ? This is a very big thing. Look, from the beginning, girls have been suppressed. Right? From the very beginning, a girl is made to realize that you are a girl.
(45:08) You cannot step out of the house, or you cannot step out without your brother, or you cannot go out without your father. Right? From the very beginning, she is raised to be constantly reminded that she is a girl. Isn't that right? Well, the environment in urban areas has changed; when a girl is born, people distribute sweets, candies, and throw parties.
(45:31) But I feel that even today, in villages, people aren't very happy when a girl is born and don't offer congratulations. Right? That is what I believe. It might not be the case everywhere. There are over 600,000 villages in our country. Right? So, I feel that in most of those 600,000 villages, it is still the same —where people aren't happy about a girl being born.
(45:52) Right? So girls are suppressed right from the start. Right? If a girl can't even do what she wants or have autonomy over her own body, then what is the point? It is her body; how she uses it depends on her, doesn't it? It is not about the body or being physical here. The point here is about the mind. The mind. No, no, this isn't about emotions.
(46:17) Emotions are involved. Emotions are never subordinate to sex. Emotions do not have any direct connection with sex like that. You have emotions for your sister, your mother, and your brother as well. You have them for everyone. That is a different side of yours. But when you feel like being physical with your partner, your partner should feel the same way. Hmm.
(46:46) Right? Although, it depends on the mindset of both. But it is not necessary that this has to be planned. Hmm. Right? So if a guy asks and the girl isn't in the mood, then it's fine. He should just let it go. Say, "It's okay, no problem." The guy's desire. Huh? The guy's desire. The guy should control himself.
(47:05) He can't control it that much. So, the guy is the one who has to make the sacrifice? It's about this sacrifice! That is exactly why I told you such a long story—that a girl is treated like a girl, she is kept like a girl, and she is suppressed. Just look at how many sacrifices she has made from the very beginning! By the time she became your girlfriend, she had already endured so many leering stares from people. She makes sacrifices.
(47:32) She doesn't even look up at any boy. She knows that if I look up, he will start following me. If I smile at someone now , they will start following me. Whether it's a 15-year-old boy or a 65-year-old man. Right? Everyone is in the same boat. There isn't much difference, actually.
(47:50) Isn't that right? So, the point is that a girl has been sacrificing for a long time. She has been sacrificing a lot. So, if a boy sacrifices enough to control his own needs and aligns them with his partner's needs, synchronizes them in the right way, then that is what we call compatibility in a relationship.
(48:12) This is what we call understanding. This is what we call mutual respect. You respected your partner's emotions and feelings. Hmm. This is the mutual respect that I mentioned at the beginning—the three things that make a relationship strong. Mutual respect, understanding, and compatibility. So, I hope you have found your answer now; if you do this and you feel that your partner is not listening to you, then it's fine, so what if she doesn't? I mean, respect her feelings and move forward with her; what is the problem with that? Okay, so
(48:51) that was the question. Let me add one more thing to this, I mean, this is what I want to say to those boys who, when they feel like being personal or physical with their partner, and the partner refuses, then I think your aura should be such, your connection with them should be so strong, that your partner is always ready for you. Hmm.
(49:30) It depends on the boy how he cultivates love, respect, and that passion for himself in his partner's mind. He will cultivate it through these small things . Like the example I gave about washing clothes. Right? Or doing other things together. So, if we can give each other happiness through small things, then we should, because I believe that you should use your head before a relationship, but if you use your head afterward, your relationship will be ruined.
(50:05) Right? Now, often a boy's ego comes into play, like suppose there was a time the boy asked and the girl refused. Right? Then when the girl felt like it, she spoke up, but the boy refused because she had refused earlier . Now, the boy's ego came into play here. Hmm. Right? So, when the boy's ego came in, he used his head.
(50:30) He let his ego take over, which caused a rift in their relationship and led to conflict between them. Right? When you bring ego into a relationship or overthink it, your relationship won't last. You should avoid doing that. Always keep your ego aside. Right? And keep your mind aside. Use your mind for work. Use it in business, use it in your job.
(50:51) Whatever work you are doing. In a relationship, only the heart should rule, only the heart should work. And try to let your partner lead the relationship. Hmm. " Run it however you want.""Let's do it the way you want to.""No problem at all ." Give them freedom. I... The freedom that belongs to them. That is why I told you that I would bring in Detective Guru, who understands girls and explains things to them as well.
(51:22) So I think whatever he has told you so far, I feel you must have liked it all, and if you are in a relationship, apply these things to your life. I hope there is a big change in your life. So my next question is, let's say things are fine now, the girl is ready, the boy is ready, and they go somewhere, but in many hotels these days, regarding these CCTV cameras, there is this insecurity, and many MMS clips are surfacing.
(51:55) So many things are happening. Then the girl says, "No brother, we won't go to such a place." So, should they go or not? I think that these days, MMS clips being made has actually stopped. Oh? Okay. Nowadays, the boy and girl themselves make their own videos and upload them. Why? I mean, look at it this way, based on all the cases we get and the things we discuss, when two people are in love, they trust each other blindly.
(52:26) Hmm. The problem with blind trust is that the boy says, "Let's capture these private moments of ours.""Let's capture them in a video or photo." Hmm. " We'll see it later and feel good." Hmm. They capture it. Hmm. Now, who made the mistake? Both did. The boy made a mistake by asking to capture it. The girl gave her consent.
(52:52) Gave her consent. Right? Now, the device, whether it's a mobile or a laptop where it happened, tomorrow that data could fall into anyone's hands. Because your mobile broke and you gave it for repair. It fell. It fell. It went missing. It fell into someone else's hands and your data, your private moments that you had carefully captured, were leaked.
(53:22) So, there are many websites where you will find such videos. Earlier, there used to be MMS. Previously, there were MMS being made. What MMS used to be was, a CCTV is installed or someone secretly recorded something. Today, on all the adult sites where you find Indian videos of this nature, you will clearly see that both the boy and the girl have consented. To making the video.
(53:48) I'm not talking about uploading. I'm saying for making the video, because if you look at the camera angles, their conversations, and their movements, you will clearly realize they both made it together. Now, how it got uploaded is a separate matter. It got uploaded, like I mentioned, maybe their mobile was lost, or the guy shared it for fun, or there was a conflict between them and they decided to take revenge by uploading it.
(54:17) The guy uploaded it or the girl uploaded it . Right? So, this is the thing. So, I believe that if something can harm you in the future, why capture it at all? Just don't capture it. Enjoy the private moments you have spent together . What is the need to take a video or a photo of it? Many people have this fantasy that if we are being intimate, we should capture these moments and keep them for the future, because today's relationships start normally and go straight to talk of marriage.
(54:53) But I have seen that they end in just a few days, and all these things that we are talking about happen during that time. So shouldn't any boy or girl think that it's fine today, maybe our relationship will last a year or two, but what will happen to these photographs and videos then? Instead of crying then, it's better to think about it now.
(55:14) So, what message would you like to give them? No, look, as I just said, I mean that if you are in a relationship, you both should enjoy yourselves in whatever way you choose, whether you're being romantic, traveling, or being intimate; that's your outlook. I’m nobody to give advice on that. But whatever you are doing should remain between you two.
(55:37) Right? If you take photos or make videos, and they leak tomorrow, they’ll be out there as yours. A digital footprint is created, and it can leak anywhere. And there is no need to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend so much that you record a video and send it to them. Just imagine , in many cases, it has been seen that the guy was innocent, the video was made, he sent it to the girl, and then he deleted it from his phone.
(56:05) When their relationship broke, for some reason, the girl herself made it go viral. Yes. I mean, out of spite, she didn't even care about her own reputation. Now, many people might ask, what is this about? Some might say, what does that mean, doesn't the girl also have a reputation to protect? She does, but at that moment, she is full of spite.
(56:21) She is in a mood for revenge. She is in a mindset for retaliation. That is the headspace she is in. All right? So, she won’t consider whether it’s a loss or a gain for her. She will only focus on making sure the other person suffers . If I get hurt, so be it. No issues there. So, look, we asked many questions, and our podcast today was focused on how to understand girls and how to make them understand.
(56:49) I hope the things Detective Guru shared with you were very valuable , and he is soon coming up with a webinar on this very topic of relationships. So, if you have these kinds of things on your mind, you can join his webinar. I would like you to tell the audience a little bit about your webinar. Well, our first book has just been released, "How to Become a Detective.
(57:14) " It is for those who want to become detectives and those who want to take their first step into investigation. Who want to achieve their goals and become successful, good detectives. For that, we have written a book, How to Become a Detective, which is in both Hindi and English and is available on Amazon today.
(57:40) It is also available on Flipkart and Google Play in both Hindi and English as an e-book. So, there are various platforms where our book is available. Keeping this in mind, because we feel that not everyone wants to read a book or many people don't have an interest in reading books. So, for them, we have brought a webinar titled How to Become a Detective.
(58:05) The name of the webinar is the same as the book. In that webinar, we cover the journey from the thought of becoming a detective to becoming a successful one. What all needs to be done? What are the tools involved? What are the things required? We have brought all of that into it.
(58:27) We have included everything in it. The webinar is supposedly for about 90 minutes. But I feel that the amount of content I am going to provide live, it will run for 3 to 3.5 hours. So, this is one of our webinars, meaning the book and the webinar. After this, our second webinar and second book is titled Think Before Thinking About Marriage.
(58:53) Think Before Thinking About Marriage will come in the form of a book which is currently in printing. We will publish it soon, and it will hit the market shortly; we are also launching a webinar for it, Think Before Thinking About Marriage, which we will start within a month or a month and a half. In this, we will definitely talk about what we have discussed just now. We will talk about relationships.
(59:19) What are the red flags in a relationship that we ignore, why we ignore them, and that before understanding our partner, we must understand ourselves. This is also covered in the webinar, as often people say, "I didn't find the right partner." Have you ever thought or heard anyone say, "Hey, I wasn't right for my partner"? No one looks at their own flaws.
(59:46) They look at the other person's flaws. They look at the other person's strengths. They only look at their own strengths. They look at the other's flaws. Right? So, in this webinar, I have also included that you should first recognize yourself. Whether you are marriage material or not. What are those flaws within you that could cause your marriage to fail? Due to which your relationship could break.
(1:00:11) So, you first need to become worthy of the other person. Only then can you say whether or not the other person is worthy of you. But if you are not worthy of them yourself, then it makes no difference whether they are worthy of you or not. Because your relationship won't last, and that person will eventually tell you that you weren't worthy of them.
(1:00:30) That's right. So, balancing this moment of marriage, because a wedding is a one-day event. Whereas marriage is a lifelong responsibility. So, what is the difference between the two? Between a wedding and a marriage? Generally, people don't prepare for the marriage. They prepare for the wedding.
(1:00:54) They look at venues, clothes, menus, guest lists, and destination weddings. They look at pre-marital shoots. They do everything that might cast a shadow over their marriage. But everyone's marriage turns out just the same. Right? Whether or not it gets overshadowed, what does it matter? Okay ? What matters is how much you understand marriage.
(1:01:20) How much you understand the responsibility of marriage, and what you do, think, and plan to keep the marriage going for a lifetime. So, we will discuss all of this in that webinar and in that book. Well, thank you so much, sir, for giving us your valuable time. This was Mr. Rahul Rai Gupta, who is known as the Detective Guru, and he will soon bring that webinar where you will learn how to make our couple's life run smoothly.
(1:01:52) So, join his webinar, subscribe to the channel, and tell us how much you liked our conversation and what you liked the most by commenting below. We will meet again in the next podcast. Now, please allow me to leave. Jai Hind. With Detective Guru, you can get accurate and fast investigations for all kinds of problems in India and abroad.
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Title: Flirting Se Cheating Tak? Partner Ki Loyalty Ka Sach | EP 16 | Powered By Detective Guru™
Author Name: The Investigation Room
Description: A lot has changed with the changing times regarding suspicion, flirting, cheating, and privacy in relationships. In Episode 16, learn how relationship investigations have changed between the past and present.
✅ Why did girls come for more investigations 10 years ago?
✅ What changes have occurred in the relationships between boys and girls today?
✅ Does flirting always lead to cheating?
✅ When can suspicion in a relationship be genuine?
✅ What are the emotional risks that come with love?
✅ How do hotels and CCTV cameras affect privacy?
✅ Do people record and upload their own private videos these days?
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## తెలుగు అనువాదం
**ఫ్లర్టింగ్ నుంచి చీటింగ్ వరకు? భాగస్వామి నమ్మకానికి అసలు పరీక్ష | ఎపిసోడ్ 16 | డిటెక్టివ్ గురు సమర్పణ**
**రచయిత/చానల్:** ది ఇన్వెస్టిగేషన్ రూమ్
**వక్తలు:** సోహైల్ మరియు ప్రైవేట్ డిటెక్టివ్ రాహుల్ రాయ్ గుప్తా
### ప్రారంభ సంభాషణ
**సోహైల్:** మీరు డిటెక్టివ్ కాబట్టి, మహిళలు కూడా తమ భాగస్వాములపై విచారణ చేయించుకోవడానికి వస్తారు, పురుషులు కూడా వస్తారు. అయితే ఎవరు ఎక్కువగా వస్తారు?
**డిటెక్టివ్ గురు:** పది సంవత్సరాల క్రితం పరిస్థితిని తీసుకుంటే, అప్పట్లో మహిళలే ఎక్కువగా వచ్చేవారు—సుమారు 70–80 శాతం వరకు. కానీ ఇప్పుడు పురుషులు కూడా ఎక్కువగా వస్తున్నారు.
**సోహైల్:** అంటే ఇప్పుడు మహిళలు ఎక్కువగా మోసం చేస్తున్నారని అర్థమా?
**డిటెక్టివ్ గురు:** కాదు. అలా అనుకోవద్దు. ఇప్పుడు ఇరువైపులా అనుమానం, అసురక్షిత భావం పెరిగింది. గతంలో మహిళల్లో ఎక్కువగా ఉండే ఈ భయం ఇప్పుడు పురుషుల్లోనూ కనిపిస్తోంది.
***
## ఒకరినొకరు అర్థం చేసుకోవడం
చాలామంది పురుషులు, “నేను నా భాగస్వామిని బాగా అర్థం చేసుకుంటున్నాను” అంటారు. కానీ భాగస్వామి మాత్రం, “నువ్వు నన్ను ఎప్పుడూ అర్థం చేసుకోలేదు” అంటుంది.
దీనికి ప్రధాన కారణం ఏమిటంటే—మనం నిజంగా వినడం లేదు. ఎదుటివారు మాట్లాడుతున్నప్పుడు సాధారణంగా మూడు రకాలుగా ప్రవర్తిస్తాం:
- శ్రద్ధగా విని అర్థం చేసుకోవడం.
- వినకపోవడం, అర్థం చేసుకోకపోవడం.
- ఎదుటివారు పూర్తిగా మాట్లాడకముందే సమాధానం సిద్ధం చేసుకోవడం.
చాలాసార్లు మన లక్ష్యం సమస్యను అర్థం చేసుకోవడం కాదు; మన మాటే సరైందని నిరూపించుకోవడం. అందుకే వాదనల్లో “నా మాట విను” అనే పోటీ మొదలవుతుంది.
ఇది కేవలం అబ్బాయి–అమ్మాయి సంబంధాలకు మాత్రమే వర్తించదు. భార్యాభర్తలు, తల్లిదండ్రులు–పిల్లలు, స్నేహితులు, సహోద్యోగులు—ఏ సంబంధమైనా ముందుగా వినాలి, తర్వాత అర్థం చేసుకోవాలి, ఆపై స్పందించాలి.
***
## “వద్దు” అన్నప్పుడు దాని అర్థం
ఒక జంట ఆదివారం బయటకు వెళ్లాలని అనుకుంది. అమ్మాయి ఉదయం, “నాకు బట్టలు ఉతకాల్సి ఉంది, ఈరోజు చాలా పని ఉంది” అని చెప్పింది. అబ్బాయి, “సరే, నువ్వు నీ పని చేసుకో” అని చెప్పి మళ్లీ ఫోన్ చేయలేదు.
కానీ మధ్యాహ్నం అమ్మాయి, “నువ్వు నన్ను బయటకు రావాలని ఒప్పించడానికి ఎందుకు ప్రయత్నించలేదు?” అని కోపపడింది.
అబ్బాయికి సందేహం వచ్చింది: ఆమె మాటను గౌరవించి ఒత్తిడి చేయకపోతే తప్పా? ఆమెను మళ్లీ మళ్లీ ఒప్పిస్తే, తనపై బలవంతం చేస్తున్నావని ఆమె అనుకునే అవకాశం ఉంది కదా?
డిటెక్టివ్ గురు ప్రకారం, ఇక్కడ సమస్య ఎవరిది అనే దానికంటే, ఒకరినొకరు ఎలా అర్థం చేసుకోవాలన్నదే ముఖ్యం. కొన్నిసార్లు “వద్దు” అనేది నిజమైన నిరాకరణ కాకపోవచ్చు; భాగస్వామి తనపై ప్రత్యేక శ్రద్ధ చూపాలని కోరుకునే సంకేతం కావచ్చు.
అయితే ఇది ప్రతి సందర్భానికీ వర్తించదు. ఎదుటివారు స్పష్టంగా నిరాకరిస్తే, వారి పరిమితులను గౌరవించాలి. ఒత్తిడి చేయకూడదు. స్పష్టమైన సంభాషణే ఉత్తమ మార్గం.
***
## ప్రేమను వ్యక్తపరచడం
అబ్బాయి తనకు పని లేకపోయినా, “నేను నా పని చేసుకుంటాను” అని చెప్పాడు. దానికి బదులుగా, “నీకు బట్టలు ఉతకాల్సి ఉంటే నేను వచ్చి సహాయం చేస్తాను. ఇద్దరం పని ముగించుకుని తర్వాత బయటకు వెళ్దాం” అని చెప్పి ఉండవచ్చని డిటెక్టివ్ గురు అన్నారు.
సంబంధం అంటే కేవలం కలిసి తిరగడం లేదా రొమాన్స్ మాత్రమే కాదు. ఒకరి పనిలో మరొకరు సహాయం చేయడం, కష్టాల్లో తోడుగా ఉండడం, పరస్పరం చూసుకోవడం కూడా ప్రేమలో భాగమే.
అదే విధంగా, అమ్మాయికి శనగపిండి లడ్డూలు ఇష్టమని తెలిసినప్పుడు, అబ్బాయి వాటిని ఒంటరిగా తినకుండా ఆమెకు ఫోటో పంపి, “నిన్ను కలవలేకపోయాను కాబట్టి నీకు ఇష్టమైన లడ్డూలతోనే సమయం గడుపుతున్నాను” అని చెప్పి ఉంటే ఆమెకు ప్రేమ, ప్రాధాన్యత అనిపించేది.
ప్రేమను మనసులో ఉంచుకోవడం మాత్రమే సరిపోదు. దాన్ని మాటల్లో, పనుల్లో, చిన్నచిన్న శ్రద్ధల్లో వ్యక్తపరచాలి.
***
## ఫోన్కు స్పందించకపోతే?
ఒకరు బిజీగా ఉన్నప్పుడు మరొకరు ఫోన్ చేస్తే, ఈ విధంగా వ్యవహరించవచ్చు:
1. మాట్లాడగలిగితే ఫోన్ ఎత్తి, కొద్దిసేపు ప్రేమగా మాట్లాడాలి.
2. మీ పరిస్థితిని చెప్పి, “ఇప్పుడు పనిలో ఉన్నాను; ఖాళీ అయిన వెంటనే తిరిగి ఫోన్ చేస్తాను” అని చెప్పాలి.
3. ఫోన్ ఎత్తలేకపోతే కనీసం మెసేజ్ లేదా వాట్సాప్ పంపాలి.
4. ఇవేవీ సాధ్యంకాక కొంత ఆలస్యంగా మాట్లాడినప్పుడు, భాగస్వామి చేసే చిన్నపాటి ఫిర్యాదులను వెంటనే దాడిగా భావించకూడదు.
అయితే 모든 కోపం లేదా అనుమానాన్ని “అది ప్రేమే” అని సమర్థించడం సరైంది కాదు. ప్రేమతో చెప్పే ఆందోళన, అవమానించడం లేదా నియంత్రించడాన్ని వేరు చేయాలి.
***
## అనుమానం మరియు లాయల్టీ టెస్ట్
కొన్నిసార్లు ఒక అమ్మాయి తన భాగస్వామి నిజంగా నమ్మకంగా ఉన్నాడా అని పరీక్షించడానికి డిటెక్టివ్ను సంప్రదిస్తుంది. ఇది సరైనదా?
డిటెక్టివ్ గురు అభిప్రాయం ప్రకారం, ఇలాంటి అనుమానం సాధారణంగా సంబంధంలో ఎక్కడో జరిగిన సంఘటనల వల్ల కలుగుతుంది. ఉదాహరణకు:
- భాగస్వామి ఇతరులతో అనవసరంగా సన్నిహితంగా ప్రవర్తించడం.
- మరొక వ్యక్తిని పదేపదే గమనించడం.
- స్నేహితుల సమక్షంలో అస్పష్టమైన లేదా బాధ కలిగించే వ్యాఖ్యలు చేయడం.
- గతంలో నమ్మకాన్ని దెబ్బతీసిన సంఘటనలు జరగడం.
కానీ అనుమానం ప్రేమకు తప్పనిసరి గుర్తు కాదు. ఆరోగ్యకరమైన సంబంధానికి నమ్మకం, స్పష్టమైన సంభాషణ, పరస్పర గౌరవం అవసరం. లాయల్టీ టెస్ట్ సంబంధాన్ని మరింత బలపరచడం కంటే, నమ్మకాన్ని మరింత దెబ్బతీయవచ్చు.
సమస్యను పరిష్కరించాలంటే, ఇద్దరూ జరిగిన విషయాలను నిజాయితీగా చెప్పాలి—తమ తప్పులను కూడా దాచకుండా.
***
## సంబంధానికి అవసరమైన మూడు అంశాలు
ఒక సంబంధం నిలవాలంటే మూడు విషయాలు ముఖ్యమని డిటెక్టివ్ గురు చెప్పారు:
- పరస్పర గౌరవం.
- ఒకరినొకరు అర్థం చేసుకోవడం.
- అనుకూలత.
అనుకూలతలో మూడు రకాలున్నాయని ఆయన వివరించారు:
- సామాజిక అనుకూలత.
- శారీరక అనుకూలత.
- మానసిక అనుకూలత.
ఈ అంశాల్లో అసమతుల్యత ఉంటే, సంబంధంలో గొడవలు, అపార్థాలు, అసంతృప్తి ఏర్పడవచ్చు.
***
## పురుషులు ఫ్లర్ట్ ఎందుకు చేస్తారు?
సంభాషణలో పురుషులు సాధారణంగా ఫ్లర్టింగ్కు ఎక్కువగా ఆసక్తి చూపుతారని, దానికి వ్యక్తిగత కారణాలు ఉండవచ్చని చెప్పబడింది. కొందరు సరదా కోసం, కొందరు ఆకర్షణ వల్ల, మరికొందరు భవిష్యత్ భాగస్వామిని వెతకడానికి ఇతరులతో పరిచయం పెంచుకుంటారని చర్చించారు.
అయితే “పురుషుల జన్యువుల్లోనే ఫ్లర్టింగ్ ఉంటుంది” అనే వాదనను శాస్త్రీయంగా నిర్ధారించబడిన నిజంగా తీసుకోకూడదు. వ్యక్తి ప్రవర్తనపై పెంపకం, సంస్కృతి, వ్యక్తిగత విలువలు, సంబంధాల పట్ల బాధ్యత, సామాజిక పరిసరాలు వంటి అనేక అంశాలు ప్రభావం చూపుతాయి.
ఎవరినైనా చూడటం సహజమైన విషయం కావచ్చు. కానీ నిరంతరం గమనించడం, శరీరాన్ని పై నుంచి కిందికి పరిశీలించడం లేదా ఎదుటివారికి అసౌకర్యం కలిగించడం మాత్రం గౌరవప్రదమైన ప్రవర్తన కాదు.
***
## ప్రేమలో అనుమానం ఉండాలా?
“ప్రేమ ఉన్నచోట అనుమానం కూడా ఉంటుంది” అనే భావనను కార్యక్రమంలో ప్రస్తావించారు. గులాబీతో పాటు ముళ్లు కూడా ఉంటాయని ఉదాహరణ ఇచ్చారు.
కానీ ప్రేమలో అనుమానం తప్పనిసరి అని భావించడం ఆరోగ్యకరం కాదు. కొంతమేర ఆందోళనను సంభాషణ ద్వారా పరిష్కరించవచ్చు. అయితే నిరంతర పర్యవేక్షణ, లాయల్టీ టెస్టులు, ఫోన్ తనిఖీలు, బెదిరింపులు లేదా నియంత్రణ పెరిగితే అది ప్రేమకంటే అసురక్షిత భావం, నియంత్రణ ప్రవర్తనగా మారవచ్చు.
సంబంధంలో ప్రశ్నించాల్సిన ముఖ్యమైనవి ఇవి:
- మనం ఒకరినొకరు నిజంగా వింటున్నామా?
- పరస్పర గౌరవం ఉందా?
- మనకు స్పష్టమైన హద్దులు ఉన్నాయా?
- సమస్య వచ్చినప్పుడు నిందలు వేయకుండా మాట్లాడగలుగుతున్నామా?
- మాటలు మరియు చర్యలు ఒకదానికొకటి సరిపోతున్నాయా?
ఈ ఎపిసోడ్ ప్రధాన సందేశం: **భాగస్వామిని మార్చడానికి ప్రయత్నించే ముందు, వారిని శ్రద్ధగా వినాలి; ప్రేమను మాటల్లోనే కాదు, ప్రవర్తనలోనూ చూపాలి; అనుమానం వచ్చినప్పుడు పరీక్షలకంటే నిజాయితీగల సంభాషణను ఎంచుకోవాలి.**
Transcript:
(00:05) You are a detective. Girls come to you to get investigations done, and boys also come for their partners. So, who is higher in number? If I consider a 10-year ratio, up until 10 years ago, girls used to come more often. Boys have a habit of flirting. Right? Now, that doesn't mean...I mean, everyone has their own different reasons.
(00:33) The genes are from the start, that same flirting. You brought up the rose, didn't you? You are the thorns. Us. The rose, so... No, no, along with the rose, thorns also come. Oh, thorns also come? They prick you in your life. Now the girl is ready, the boy is ready , and they go somewhere.
(00:57) In many hotels these days, these CCTV cameras... I feel that nowadays, MMS clips have stopped being made. Right, these days guys and girls make and upload their own videos. Friends, our episode today is a very good episode. It is on a unique topic. There is a saying you must have heard many times: that no one can understand girls .
(01:32) I think many people would agree with the fact that no one can understand girls. Understand in the sense of their words, their minds, and their moods; no one can understand them. You must be thinking he's saying it right. I'm saying it right, aren't I? If I'm right , then comment below. But today I have brought someone who not only understands girls but can also read their minds.
(02:02) So, without further ado, let me take you directly to the one and only private detective, international detective, Mr. Rahul Rai Gupta. Hi sir, how are you? Very well. Very well. So sir, our topic today is that when it comes to girls, girlfriends, and boyfriends, and they have even the slightest argument or discussion, the girl says, "You never understood me.
(02:27) " Is it just him, or can no boy understand a girl? Now I have already said that while no one can understand girls, Detective Guru can. So sir, how much, to what extent can you understand them? Tell us a little. So, Sohail brother, I feel that you have praised me a bit too much, right? Now there is a lot of responsibility on me...
(02:46) No, I have seen it. I’ve noticed how well you handle things, so I’ve observed from the episodes we’ve made that when a girl can’t be understood by anyone, you manage to make her understand perfectly. So today, you have to tell us how you do that. I have so many questions. I also have many stories from my friends that we’ll share.
(03:06) But let’s start from the beginning. So first of all, to understand them, it is necessary to actually understand them. The guy says, "Bro, I am understanding her." She says , "You don't understand me." Yes, so that means he isn't understanding her. How should a guy understand? First and foremost, listen to what the girl is saying properly.
(03:24) Now, what is the problem here? Let me tell you the psychological issue. Suppose you are talking to a friend of yours. Right? What do you do? You do one of three things. You listen and understand, or you don't listen and don't understand. You just try to give a reply. Hmm. Brother, that is the problem. We either don't listen to someone or we don't want to understand.
(04:04) We just want to reply to keep our ego ahead. How can we keep our point on top? Right? You must have often seen two people fighting over who should listen to whom. "Listen to me." They are fighting. Right? Yes. So, why is this fight happening? Because they aren't listening to each other.
(04:28) Understanding is a far-off thing . So, my point is that no one understands girls. Girls say, "You don't understand us," so that means they are right. Then ? They are right. So, guys haven't been able to understand girls yet. They don't want to understand. I see. Because they don't listen. So what should a guy do? That’s exactly what I’m explaining.
(04:48) I am explaining that this isn't just about boys and girls. This applies to any relationship whatsoever. Whether it's husband and wife. You have a son, daughter, father, mother, siblings, or teacher and student. In any relationship, be it professional or personal, listening first is essential. Hmm. After listening, it is important to understand what has been heard.
(05:16) When you respond after understanding, that response will be much more valuable. More than the answer you give without understanding or listening. But I have the same question again. The guy says, "Brother, I am understanding my partner." His girlfriend or wife, whoever she is. He says, "I am giving my 100%.
(05:39) ""I am trying to make her understand.""She isn't able to understand." From the other side, the girl says, "Brother, you never understand." The problem here is different. What, tell me? You just said that the guy tries to make her understand. Not the guy, the girl doesn't have to understand.
(05:57) Here we are discussing the issue that the guy has to understand. What? The one who is supposed to understand is trying to explain. So how will that work? Alright, let me give you an example right now. It happened just a day or two ago. I have a friend. He has a girlfriend. He told me he was very upset. So he discussed it. First, tell me this.
(06:16) I am interrupting you. Does he have only one girlfriend? I mean, keep this in mind as you speak, only then will the right answer come out. He has only one girlfriend. His... I mean, the reason is that the answer I will give you... Right? I will answer only after listening and understanding, because I will not make the mistake that people often make.
(06:36) That is why I brought Detective Guru here, and because his experience is of 30 years, not just in India but outside India as well. So the right answer will come from here, and I know that no one can understand girls, but he understands them and even explains them .
(06:53) That is why my question is, like you are saying, when I am saying that the guy is explaining and the girl is not understanding. I will explain it to you with an example. Now you tell me in that, if it is the guy's fault or the girl's fault. I want to say one more thing now, that what you are saying right now about no one being able to understand girls.
(07:07) You are saying it while laughing. You are saying it while laughing. I mean, you ...girls... Should I say it while crying? No, not crying, I mean ask seriously, this is a serious topic. Okay? If you speak while laughing, it will seem like you are making fun of our problem. Yes, because it will seem to the listener that you are making fun of girls.
(07:29) Even though you are not making fun. I know because I understand you. I listen to you. I understand you. That is why I know you are not making fun. But the other person will think that you are making fun. Right? So, you shouldn't make fun of anyone. The discussion we are going to have here, or are having, needs to be a fruitful one so that the listeners can understand things.
(07:55) They can process these things and implement them in their lives so that if their lives are going a bit off-track, they can get back on track. The reason I have a smile on my face is that I have many friends, and when they come and tell me their stories—like, "Brother, today I tried to tell my girlfriend or my wife this"—she just says, "No, you are wrong, you should have done it like this.
(08:22) " They say, "Brother, I give my 100%." But she is not ready to understand. Let me give you an example to the point. Let me tell you about just yesterday. Let me tell you about yesterday, Sunday. I got a call from a friend of mine. He was very troubled. He told me something. I asked, "Brother , what happened?" In the morning, he said that he and his girlfriend had planned to go somewhere on Saturday, thinking, "Okay, on Sunday we will go together, enjoy in Delhi, watch a movie , or go visit somewhere," and his girlfriend said, "Okay, fine, I'll let
(08:46) you know in the morning." Then he said that in the morning he messaged her asking, "Are we going?" and she said, " I have a lot of work today.""I have to wash clothes.""We only get one day," and things like that, she said. So, he said, "Okay, you finish your work, I'll finish my own work.
(09:03) " Although, he didn't really have any work. He, the guy, said he was in a bad mood too because he had made plans. Now, the girl calls him in the afternoon, and after calling, she says, "You didn't call or text me at all." So the guy says, "Brother, tell me one thing, when you already told me you were busy, doing laundry, and couldn't go with me, why would I disturb you by calling or messaging?" So the issue is, the guy says, "Brother, tell me one thing, when she refused to go, saying, 'I can't go, I'm doing laundry.'" Now she is saying
(09:35) that since I refused, why didn't you try to convince me? Why didn't you try to convince me? Now imagine she said no , and the guy accepted it and didn't say anything further to her. Fair enough, he respected her decision. He stayed home. Right, and didn't go with her.
(09:51) Now the girl’s issue is that she is fighting over the fact that she said no, and that’s fine. But why didn't you try to convince me? So he’s really troubled, saying, "If I had convinced her, she would've said I'm forcing her and that she has no life of her own. But if I don't, then this becomes an issue." Now they're fighting , and he’s like, "How do I make this girl understand?" So this is the issue; what should the guy do in a situation like this? See, the matter here is something else entirely.
(10:17) The point is that the guy needs to understand here. Not make the girl understand. I said earlier that the guy needs to understand it himself. There is no point in explaining things here. Hmm. Now tell me, do you know what time your friend asked her to go out? He said he asked at night, and she replied, "I'll tell you in the morning.
(10:37) " Then in the morning, when he asked, she said, "I have a lot of work." So the guy said, "Okay." Now in the afternoon, she’s fighting over this. He says she’s fighting because "Why didn't you try to convince me?""Brother, I said once that I have work, so it was your duty to convince me, like, 'Forget the chores for later, let's go out first.
(10:55) '" So the guy says, "Man, what should I do in such a situation?" Yes, in a relationship, when your partner is like this, they want special attention, because it happens, whether male or female—I won't just talk about females here. Yes, females do tend to be a bit more attention-seeking .
(11:19) So they want attention from their boyfriend or husband. They feel that if they say yes the first time, he’ll think they were just waiting and ready. Right? So it’s possible he might take me for granted next time. Right? Or my respect might decrease. So sometimes a girl says no for this reason too. So it is the guy's duty to at least ask two or three times.
(11:41) Meaning, it’s the guy’s fault? No, no, there’s no fault or such problem here. It's not about whose fault it is. See, this is a relationship. There will be many moments in a relationship when you will have to do all these things. So, if you start doing these things from the beginning, there won't be any misunderstandings between you two.
(11:59) There won't be any miscommunications between you. There won't be any friction, and you can manage your relationship the right way. Now, enjoy this. So, what mistake did the guy make here? Let me tell you the mistake. He overthought it. He called the girl from his heart, thinking let's go out since both would have time.
(12:22) It was Sunday yesterday. So, what's his name? Yes. Let's have a get-together somewhere. Let's have a get-together. Right? But the problem was that the girl refused. The girl politely declined, saying, "I am busy with housework." Okay? Hmm. It is possible she also wanted to meet. Bro, when she's your girlfriend, she will want to meet too.
(12:44) She would also want to go out, hang out, and have some romance. Right? So, what did the guy do ? As soon as the girl refused, he overthought it and said, "Okay, let me just do my own work then." You just said he didn't have any work. Bro, if he didn't have any work, why is he saying no? Why is he saying, "I will do my own work"? I mean, when you have no work, why are you saying that? You should tell her, "Look, I'm off today and you're off too.""Let me do this.
(13:13) "" I'll come over to your place.""I'll help you wash your clothes, we'll hang them up, and then we'll go out together ." So, that is where the guy is lacking a bit. Okay? Secondly, nowadays there are scenarios where there are many places you can go and take your laundry with you.
(13:37) You can wash your clothes there too. Right? Like, somewhere... What kind of place? I mean, for instance, if the girl has a fully automatic washing machine. Then she can put the clothes in it. I don't know if your friend's girlfriend has a fully automatic washing machine or not. If she doesn't, maybe the guy has one.
(13:59) So if the guy has one, he can say, "Pack the clothes in a bag and bring them here, we'll wash them first and then go out." One second. So that means if they only got one day, Sunday, then... So, the boy and girl will wash clothes together. There is a romance in washing clothes too. What kind of romance is that? Why, what do you mean why not? What is the problem with that? Brother, they both will be standing together.
(14:22) The girl will feel good. The boy is helping her wash her clothes. More respect and love for him will grow in the girl's heart, knowing he is caring for her. He is looking after her. Right? He is supporting her in her problems or her work. So, what is a relationship, anyway? A relationship is just about supporting each other.
(14:41) It is just about caring for one another. It is just about looking after each other. What else is it? She would have felt much better, and the love in her eyes for the boy at that moment would have been the kind of love that, if your friend had seen, he would have been very happy . So, he missed the opportunity.
(15:00) So, it is the boy's fault. Yes, it is absolutely the boy's fault. There is no doubt about it. Now, what should the boy do? Then? Okay, he has one more question. Then? Yes, yes. He says that, okay, fine, that happened , and in the afternoon, there was still an argument going on over this issue. Then, coincidentally, or from somewhere , some besan laddus must have arrived.
(15:19) Yes, yes. And the girl liked those laddus too. Besan ones were her favorite. He says she called him. She asks, "What are you doing?" Hmm. He says, "I'm eating laddus." She asks, "Which ones?" He says, "Besan ones.""Oh, you're eating my favorite laddus after fighting with me?" I mean, now she is fighting about this too.
(15:37) She will fight, she will. Now why will she fight? Actually, she is even more correct in this. She will fight because, look, I like besan laddus and you are sitting and eating them alone. Right? Now you will ask, what should the boy do then? The boy would have known that she likes besan laddus. So, what was the boy's duty? He should have taken a photo and sent it, like you were saying, right? He could have said, "Well, I couldn't meet you, so your besan laddus will do; I am happy with your besan laddus."
(16:08) Oh, that was the mistake. Right? So, you express it to her, because just loving isn't enough. You have to express love too. You have to show love too. Showing off love is also necessary. Right? So, your friend should have told that girl, "Look, I couldn't meet you.""I'm all alone at home today.
(16:31) ""I ordered your favorite laddus." I am eating this. Right? Then her respect for him grows even more, like, look at him, sitting alone, eating my favorite laddoos. Keeping himself entertained with just that. This. All in all, the guy should have treated her. Okay, fine. The girl will stay here. The guy should be a bit understanding; if she’s saying no, then let it be, try again next time if a similar situation arises.
(16:56) No, next time I'll have to see what the situation is. What is it? What if she says, "I'm out with my mom"? So, he can't really say, "Take your mom along too." Let's go out. Well, there are many such issues. I've seen it with many of my friends too, like boyfriend-girlfriend. Hmm, hmm. Now, the girlfriend calls the boyfriend .
(17:18) Or let's say the boyfriend called the girlfriend first. Hmm. Then the girlfriend says, "I'm busy right now.""I'm here.""I'll talk to you later." The guy understands. Right? Now, if the girl calls and the boy cuts the call in the same situation or says he's busy, even if he's genuinely busy, then why is the girl's question always the same? " Don't you even have time to pick up my call?" It’s mostly like that.
(17:45) Then what should the guy do? And he says, "I was busy," and she replies, " Oh, you've become so busy now!" And some girls even get suspicious, wondering if you are with another girl. What to do in this situation? In this situation, look, there are two ways. The first way is that when the girl, the girlfriend, calls, if the boyfriend is in a position to pick up, he should pick up. Talk very lovingly.
(18:11) Talk for a minute or half a minute and explain the situation that I am here and doing this work. So, as soon as I am free, I will call you back. Right? That’s one way, which is a good way. The second way is, if you can't pick up the phone because you're in a place where you're with seniors or in a meeting, then if you can text or WhatsApp, just send a WhatsApp to your girlfriend explaining you're busy.
(18:37) " I'll call as soon as I'm free." Right? So that’s one thing. The third point is, if you couldn't do these two things and you talk later after half an hour or an hour, and the girl says something like that, then don't take it to heart. Don't think that she is scolding you. She is expressing her love.
(18:55) She is showing you love. She is professing her affection. I mean, you should take it as love. Take it like flowers. The taunts from a girlfriend should also be like flowers. They should feel like that. See, I... That's why I say no one can understand girls. Detective Guru can understand. They take even the taunts like flowers.
(19:15) Look, I am not bragging about myself. But it is the truth that the way you think about something, that is exactly what you will see. If you believe, I am Mother Ganga; if you don't, I am just flowing water. Right? So it is your faith. Okay? How do you take something? If you take her taunts as taunts.
(19:39) Okay? Then it will give you pain. If you take her taunts as love, then it will give you happiness. So what do you want? Do you want happiness or pain? You have to decide this. The other person is going to do what they are doing. But how do you want to perceive it? Like Gandhi Ji used to say, if someone slaps you, turn the other cheek.
(19:59) Well, times aren't like that anymore. Right? But his meaning was that when someone slaps you and you turn the other cheek, they will feel insulted. They will think, what am I doing to this person? In today's time , the person would just hit you again. But in a relationship, if someone is giving you taunts.
(20:20) Okay? And you are not reacting too much to it. Right? Then the other person might feel a little ashamed, thinking, "I've been taunting him for so long, and this guy isn't reacting.""He is just showing love." So it's possible that next time she might not taunt, or taunt less, or the intensity might decrease. I mean, her power to taunt might diminish.
(20:44) Right? So it depends on you how you perceive those things. Well, for instance, there is a situation where a girlfriend and a couple, we... And there is a lot of love between them , and somewhere or other, the girl feels insecure, we... I mean, he loves me a lot, but what if he's having an affair somewhere? And she asks a friend to watch him or put his loyalty to the test.
(21:21) Isn't that wrong if you're living together in a relationship—I mean, aside from marriage, you've already shared everything. Even then, the girl doesn't trust him, and many girls do this. So, to what extent is this right? Look, what you said about there being no trust. I don't believe that. If she didn't have trust, she wouldn't be with him in the first place.
(21:44) Then why is she conducting a loyalty test? The loyalty test she is conducting comes from her love. She has so much love inside her that she doesn't want to lose that person. She just wants to make sure that this person still loves her as much as he did in the beginning. But if a guy is saying, "Hey, I love you,"" And I am only yours, and there is no one else in my life.
(22:12) " Then she should believe that this person is genuine. If we live with someone, we should at least be able to tell if they are speaking the truth. Or lying. Yet, she still does it. Why is that? What happens is, when two people communicate, Sometimes the guy might say something loose, Or if a girl's friend is there, she notices him looking at her, trying to mix with her more, or when they are in a group, he might say something that makes the girl feel insecure.
(22:44) She feels that this guy might cheat on me. So when such a situation arises—even if I know the whole story, like when I generally counsel people—they tell me everything. They tell me every little detail. Only then can I tell them exactly where the problem in their relationship lies. Because if you want to fix a problem, identifying it is very important.
(23:11) To identify the problem , it is very important to understand and listen to the whole story. To understand and listen, it is necessary that both people sitting in front of me , whether it's a couple or just one of them, must be as honest with me as possible, sharing even the smallest details or mistakes they themselves might have made.
(23:38) So, the answer to your question is that the boy must have done something that made the girl feel a bit insecure, leading her to feel the need for a loyalty test. But I have seen a very large number of boys too. I have a small question. You are a detective. Women must be coming to you for investigations too. Men must also be coming regarding their partners .
(24:08) So, who comes in greater numbers? If I consider the ratio from 10 years ago, then until 10 years ago, more women used to come. Right? 70%or 80%were women. As of today , more men are coming. So, are women cheating more? No, that doesn't mean they are cheating more. Hmm. It means that insecurity now exists on both sides.
(24:33) Earlier, there was insecurity among women. Now, there is insecurity among men as well. Men get it done too. Men get it done too. But as far as my friends go, most of them are troubled by their girlfriends. But I tell them, "Bro, if you are troubled, just leave." They don't want to leave either. I don't know why.
(24:49) What is the logic behind this? Look, I wouldn't say that...If there is a problem in their relationship, then there is trouble. Sometimes the trouble lies in what I was talking about earlier—the constant need to listen, understand, and react. Right? So, this is exactly the problem. A relationship involves two people.
(25:12) It requires three things. One is the need for mutual respect. First and foremost, if two people don't respect each other. Right? Then they cannot stay together for very long. The second is understanding. If there is no understanding of each other, then there are problems in the relationship. And the third is compatibility.
(25:35) Compatibility is of three types. One is social compatibility. One is physical compatibility. One is mental compatibility. If the compatibility doesn't match, then there are problems too. So, the friends you say are troubled, they likely have issues with compatibility, understanding, or mutual respect.
(25:56) That is the reason they are troubled. Either they are not respecting their girlfriend themselves. Or their girlfriend is not respecting them. Or they are not doing anything to deserve their girlfriend's respect. No, that's not really the case. I mean, all the guys I've met say that she just tells them to go to sleep. Okay, let me ask you one thing.
(26:16) Why does a guy have an affair with a girl? That would be his own personal reason. Generally, you're talking about your friends, so your friends... My friends are not, I mean, not like that. Okay, whether it's friends or anyone in the whole world, generally, what is a guy's perspective on making friends with a girl—in school, college, office, while traveling on the metro, flight, at the airport, bus stand, or railway station—why is a guy attracted to a girl? Look, I agree with you on this, that a large number of
(26:55) guys have a habit of flirting. Right? Now, that doesn't mean everyone has the same reason; everyone has their own different reasons. Some guys flirt for other things. Some guys think, let's just find a good partner. We will spend our life with them. Right? So, these are the two reasons.
(27:14) What other reason is there, you tell me? It's the genes. The genes from the start are those of flirting. A male cannot stay happy with one female. Why? The genes are like that. I mean, it has been structured that way from the beginning. You will see that there were kings. They used to have many queens.
(27:39) Right? In various places, you will see that brothels were open. So, the sex worker there would be a female, and the clients would be males. They still exist today. Right? So, although today there are many such things where we talk about playboys or many other things. But in general, when you look at it, our society has been male-dominated from the beginning, and males have been flirting.
(28:11) Males have been involved with more than one female . So, this has been there from the start. You can go to any country. You can go to any culture. You will find all these things there. So, it is in their genes to do such things. Now, why do they do this? One, their nature is like that.
(28:33) Secondly, they do it for sex . Okay? It's just their nature to flirt . They see a beautiful girl. Even if their wife is sitting right there. She is very beautiful. Instead of looking at her, they will look at the girl in front, who might not even be as beautiful as the wife. You can test this yourself. Let me tell you what I do.
(28:53) My life is such that I do a lot of experiments. I sit at the airport. Suppose I arrive two hours early. I observe people. I watch what they are doing. I try to understand their psychology. You'll see, you should try this yourself after this podcast, go sit at an airport, a bus stand, or a railway station. Somewhere there is a crowd. Right? There are females there, and males too.
(29:23) You will notice that females won't be checking out any guys. Like this. Maybe a few might, but generally, that doesn't happen. Right? But men, if there are 100 men sitting there, most of them will be checking out or staring at some female present there. So, you can feel this yourself; if you walk past where many women are sitting, they might not even notice you.
(29:57) But if there are many men sitting there and a female walks by, they will tell you her height , and what clothes she was wearing. What shoes was she wearing? What was her hair like? How did she look? They will tell you everything. Most will have completely scanned the girl. Right? So this is in the nature of males.
(30:17) Isn't it? This is the human nature of a male. Right? Now, as you said, if a girl passes by, boys will definitely look at her. They scan, and they do. I have seen it in many places too. But there are many girls who walk past boys and the boys don't look at them. They ignore them. Then a thought crosses their mind, "Who is this?""Why didn't they look at me?" What do you call that situation? Like that dialogue from Hrithik Roshan.
(30:50) "Who was it who didn't even turn to look at Poo?" I’ve seen many girls who, if they want to be noticed and you don’t pay attention to them, they think, "Wow, so much attitude?""What are you so arrogant about that you didn't even look back?" Do you want to fulfill that girl's desire, or do you want to focus on your own work? If she’s thinking that—even if one in ten or one in a hundred girls thinks that way—let them think it.
(31:17) What’s the problem? I’m not saying you shouldn’t look, and I’m not saying you must look either. Right? I am no one to lecture or preach to anyone. You’ve asked me from a psychological perspective why this happens. What happens? Right? So, both males and females have their own respective reasons for this. For instance, a male's reason is that his nature is to flirt.
(31:44) It’s been like that for him from the very beginning. It’s in his genes to flirt, or at least he’s capable of it. Right? Not everyone does it, but most people do. Girls are the opposite of this. They generally don’t flirt. Right? Now, even if a girl thinks that way, what difference does it make to us? Suppose I’m sitting somewhere and I don't want to look, then I won't look.
(32:06) If I do look, or my gaze falls on someone, then so be it; what’s the issue? Neither that girl nor I have a problem with a simple glance. Right? I might have even looked and scanned her. But yes, you must be careful that if you are sitting somewhere as a male—I’m addressing this to men—where members of the opposite sex are passing by, and you want to maintain your character, you shouldn’t make others feel uncomfortable; for example, if a girl walks by, you look at her and scan her up and down. Then she walks back past
(32:49) you. And you are still staring, not even caring that the girl can tell you’re leering at her. In many countries, there is even a penalty for staring at someone. Oh. Yes. There are many such countries, like Australia, as far as I know, if I’m not mistaken. If you stare at someone for 29 seconds straight and it’s caught on camera, and it’s proven you were staring, you can get punished.
(33:18) It isn't gender-biased, it applies to everyone. No, no, I'm talking about male to male. Male to female. Male to female, female to male. So what’s the problem with staring? The male would be happy. The male would be happy. This law is wrong. No, no, the law... What kind of law is this? It’s not about the law.
(33:35) The point is that some laws are made for the rights of women. As I told you, the majority of people who do this are males. Not females. So that’s why the law isn't for them. It’s not against them. Alright? So you need to keep your character in check. You need to keep your own things in check. So, regarding that girlfriend issue, you asked what the guy should do or why she did a loyalty test, or why it even came to her mind? Because many times in our lives, we make mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly, where our partner feels
(34:13) that this person could be like that. So when she thinks that, and because she loves us, her insecurity towards us increases. She loves you, yet she can't leave you. Right? So take it as a compliment; if she’s testing your loyalty, imagine how much love that person must have for you to even be suspicious, because that neighbor of yours who has nothing to do with you won't suspect you, will she? Only someone who loves you will suspect you.
(34:49) So, it means if there is love, there will be suspicion too. Where there is love, there will also be suspicion. Yes. It can’t be that there is only love. And no suspicion at all. No, it’s never like that. With a rose, there will be thorns. Okay? If you want the fragrance of the rose, you have to accept the thorns too.
(35:08) You are the thorns. We? The rose is... No, no, along with the rose, thorns also come. Oh, so thorns come too. They will keep pricking you in your life. They should also come in between. If you keep eating only sweet things. You won't enjoy the sweetness unless you eat something salty, right? The real fun of love is when there is a little bit of conflict in it too.
(35:27) So you guys are listening. There should be a dash of conflict as well. In it. The fun of love is only when there is conflict in it. And a dash of conflict. So. A dash of suspicion. Yes. So, only Detective Guru seems to be able to understand and explain girls so far. But I think a lot of guys must be watching right now.
(35:46) They must be saying, "Brother, we are doing everything.""She just doesn't understand." No, there is a simple way. Book a consultation with me. Okay? Okay. If you are in such a...I am not joking. I am speaking very seriously. That if someone is in a serious love affair, Hmm. And he feels that, "Man, my girlfriend is just not able to understand me.
(36:12) " Or she says that I am not able to understand her, or there is some problem between us. Right? So I am in a dilemma where I don't know what to do; I can't leave her because my heart is attached. Hmm. But the brain says, "Brother, what is going on in your life?" Hmm. So what should a guy do? Hmm. Alright, that's fine.
(36:31) So book our online consultation; we will talk on a Zoom meeting, talk on a video call. And You can also meet physically. Yes, I mean, you can come to the office too. If you live in Delhi NCR, you can come and meet; otherwise, you can take a consultation telephonically. Take the consultation, discuss it, tell the whole story, including the mistakes you made—be sure to do that.
(36:56) It's not like you only have to show me the good parts. If you show it one-sided, then I won't be able to guide you properly on how to fix your life. It won't be of any use. Right? That's for sure. Look, I know. I, I will give you an example, I will give you an example. I had an acquaintance who knew that I am a private detective and that I make videos on these kinds of cases, on relationship intelligence, and that I also provide counseling for this; they knew everything.
(37:29) But anyway, sometimes what happens is that an acquaintance doesn't want to discuss things. They feel that their privacy or their secrets will be leaked. But when things go too far, the person ends up telling. I had one such acquaintance. He had a girlfriend. They were going to get married. So he introduced me to her. I met the girl and talked to her.
(37:54) I found her very sweet. I liked her. So I said, "Brother, it's fine, she's a good girl, you move forward with her, there's no problem." Now, he only introduced me. He had only shown the good side of the girl. He didn't tell me the whole story . Then one day, I got a call from him. He was very troubled.
(38:11) He told me the whole story, saying I cover all these expenses too. I do this as well. I even do that for her. He mentioned the financial side, saying he feels a heavy burden regarding these expenses. Well, that's his own understanding of how he manages things. Secondly, he said that whenever he is in a relationship with her, she checks his mobile.
(38:35) Even that, I say, isn't such a huge deal. Then he told me that one day she called all the girls from his chats, asking who they were and how they knew him. So, she did many such things that made me feel there were a lot of red flags. So, I told him, brother, you should leave this girl immediately.
(39:01) This girl is not worthy of you. She is not worthy of your love, and the things she is doing are not right. So, you should leave her . Although, later on, their relationship didn't last. He didn't leave her because of what I said, but he realized himself that these things weren't right. So, they have both separated.
(39:19) Right? But my point in telling this story is that sometimes there are things that the other person might not disclose. I mean, both sides were shown; when he hadn't told me everything, I was okay with the girl, approving her, thinking she was fine and there was no issue. When he told me everything, I realized, and I told him myself that no, brother, this isn't going well, there's trouble here, there are too many red flags, and I think you should do this, okay? So, if someone comes and tells me the whole story, I can provide them with counseling. I can
(39:53) tell them what the right way is to handle a relationship. I won't say the way to handle the girl. What is the way to handle the relationship? That is what I can teach. That was absolutely well said. I keep watching too, because he is a private detective, and he gets many cases not just in India but also abroad, and he handles consultations as well.
(40:17) So, if you are even slightly troubled in your relationship and you want to discuss things without telling your girlfriend. You need a friend like that. You can meet such friends. You can tell them everything, and they will give you a great solution. I hope your relationship goes well. But this friend charges money; he doesn't give advice for free. This, for free.
(40:39) Yes, keep this in mind, because I'll tell you the reason for clarifying this ; see, free advice isn't... It doesn't work, that free advice. Today, I tell many people who are my acquaintances. I... If someone asks me something, I tell them. Obviously, if someone is an acquaintance, if you are my friend, then I can't take money from you, right ? Talking about you and all.
(41:03) But most of the people I tell, especially those who get it for free, those who are my acquaintances, they don't act on that advice, they don't implement it. But when a stranger, impressed by me, by my words, by my videos or my podcasts, takes a consultation from me, listens to me, understands it, they implement it and they also benefit from it.
(41:27) Hmm. So you will only benefit when you spend a little money, because then you have to listen. You feel that you have invested something in this conversation , invested in this advice, so that advice feels valuable to you. When you get that advice for free, it doesn't feel valuable. That is why I charge.
(41:48) Yes, yes, and one should. He has 30 years of experience, and if you want to take his consultation, the link is mentioned in the description. You can get it from there for only ₹ 999. For ₹ 999, you can get a consultation and bring balance to your relationship that is currently a bit imbalanced.
(42:10) Now, my next question is, why can't girls and boys understand each other? Many boys have this complaint. I have seen them fighting, or when I ask someone, "Bro, why did you break up?" Then many boys say this same thing, that when we want to do something, the girl says, "No, I don't want to.
(42:31) " And when the girl wants to do something, she says, "Yes, we have to do it." So they say, "Man, we don't want to, but she wants to; why does this happen?" I told you that there should be understanding; it's a problem of understanding in your mind. How to get understanding in this? The understanding is that you align yourself with your partner to know when she is in the mood.
(42:54) When you look at her entire monthly cycle, you will understand well when your female partner is in the mood to be physical. So you can prepare your mind accordingly. No, let's assume someone... A girl comes home after getting married . Right? Sometimes she doesn't like certain things in the house. Right? But she adjusts.
(43:18) Isn't that right? Similarly, let the girl lead in some things. Let your female partner lead. Physical intimacy is similar; when you let your female partner lead and put the reins in her hands, you will be able to enjoy it more. And that is where the formula for compatibility fits in.
(43:43) This is what is called compatibility. It is called timing. It is called their mindset. It is called their understanding. It is knowing when, what, and how to do something. Right? It is how much and in what way to do it. It is what is liked and what is disliked. Right? So when all these things happen, your compatibility becomes strong.
(44:04) When compatibility is strong, because the center point of a relationship is compatibility. Right? So when your compatibility with your partner is strong, right? Then all other things will start seeming small to you. No. But what I mean is, you said it very correctly. It can be done like that.
(44:26) But these things cannot always happen like that; I have met many such people who are different. In that, the reason is mostly this: that brother, I feel like being physical with the girl, and I am telling my partner. She says I am not in the mood. She doesn't explain it like you said, that a guy handles the girl. The girl doesn't handle him.
(44:45) Okay, she isn't in the mood. But she should handle it well. She flat out says, "Oh, this is all you ever want." So you, I'm not in the mood. So why is she not able to handle it the right way ? This is a very big thing. Look, from the beginning, girls have been suppressed. Right? From the very beginning, a girl is made to realize that you are a girl.
(45:08) You cannot step out of the house, or you cannot step out without your brother, or you cannot go out without your father. Right? From the very beginning, she is raised to be constantly reminded that she is a girl. Isn't that right? Well, the environment in urban areas has changed; when a girl is born, people distribute sweets, candies, and throw parties.
(45:31) But I feel that even today, in villages, people aren't very happy when a girl is born and don't offer congratulations. Right? That is what I believe. It might not be the case everywhere. There are over 600,000 villages in our country. Right? So, I feel that in most of those 600,000 villages, it is still the same —where people aren't happy about a girl being born.
(45:52) Right? So girls are suppressed right from the start. Right? If a girl can't even do what she wants or have autonomy over her own body, then what is the point? It is her body; how she uses it depends on her, doesn't it? It is not about the body or being physical here. The point here is about the mind. The mind. No, no, this isn't about emotions.
(46:17) Emotions are involved. Emotions are never subordinate to sex. Emotions do not have any direct connection with sex like that. You have emotions for your sister, your mother, and your brother as well. You have them for everyone. That is a different side of yours. But when you feel like being physical with your partner, your partner should feel the same way. Hmm.
(46:46) Right? Although, it depends on the mindset of both. But it is not necessary that this has to be planned. Hmm. Right? So if a guy asks and the girl isn't in the mood, then it's fine. He should just let it go. Say, "It's okay, no problem." The guy's desire. Huh? The guy's desire. The guy should control himself.
(47:05) He can't control it that much. So, the guy is the one who has to make the sacrifice? It's about this sacrifice! That is exactly why I told you such a long story—that a girl is treated like a girl, she is kept like a girl, and she is suppressed. Just look at how many sacrifices she has made from the very beginning! By the time she became your girlfriend, she had already endured so many leering stares from people. She makes sacrifices.
(47:32) She doesn't even look up at any boy. She knows that if I look up, he will start following me. If I smile at someone now , they will start following me. Whether it's a 15-year-old boy or a 65-year-old man. Right? Everyone is in the same boat. There isn't much difference, actually.
(47:50) Isn't that right? So, the point is that a girl has been sacrificing for a long time. She has been sacrificing a lot. So, if a boy sacrifices enough to control his own needs and aligns them with his partner's needs, synchronizes them in the right way, then that is what we call compatibility in a relationship.
(48:12) This is what we call understanding. This is what we call mutual respect. You respected your partner's emotions and feelings. Hmm. This is the mutual respect that I mentioned at the beginning—the three things that make a relationship strong. Mutual respect, understanding, and compatibility. So, I hope you have found your answer now; if you do this and you feel that your partner is not listening to you, then it's fine, so what if she doesn't? I mean, respect her feelings and move forward with her; what is the problem with that? Okay, so
(48:51) that was the question. Let me add one more thing to this, I mean, this is what I want to say to those boys who, when they feel like being personal or physical with their partner, and the partner refuses, then I think your aura should be such, your connection with them should be so strong, that your partner is always ready for you. Hmm.
(49:30) It depends on the boy how he cultivates love, respect, and that passion for himself in his partner's mind. He will cultivate it through these small things . Like the example I gave about washing clothes. Right? Or doing other things together. So, if we can give each other happiness through small things, then we should, because I believe that you should use your head before a relationship, but if you use your head afterward, your relationship will be ruined.
(50:05) Right? Now, often a boy's ego comes into play, like suppose there was a time the boy asked and the girl refused. Right? Then when the girl felt like it, she spoke up, but the boy refused because she had refused earlier . Now, the boy's ego came into play here. Hmm. Right? So, when the boy's ego came in, he used his head.
(50:30) He let his ego take over, which caused a rift in their relationship and led to conflict between them. Right? When you bring ego into a relationship or overthink it, your relationship won't last. You should avoid doing that. Always keep your ego aside. Right? And keep your mind aside. Use your mind for work. Use it in business, use it in your job.
(50:51) Whatever work you are doing. In a relationship, only the heart should rule, only the heart should work. And try to let your partner lead the relationship. Hmm. " Run it however you want.""Let's do it the way you want to.""No problem at all ." Give them freedom. I... The freedom that belongs to them. That is why I told you that I would bring in Detective Guru, who understands girls and explains things to them as well.
(51:22) So I think whatever he has told you so far, I feel you must have liked it all, and if you are in a relationship, apply these things to your life. I hope there is a big change in your life. So my next question is, let's say things are fine now, the girl is ready, the boy is ready, and they go somewhere, but in many hotels these days, regarding these CCTV cameras, there is this insecurity, and many MMS clips are surfacing.
(51:55) So many things are happening. Then the girl says, "No brother, we won't go to such a place." So, should they go or not? I think that these days, MMS clips being made has actually stopped. Oh? Okay. Nowadays, the boy and girl themselves make their own videos and upload them. Why? I mean, look at it this way, based on all the cases we get and the things we discuss, when two people are in love, they trust each other blindly.
(52:26) Hmm. The problem with blind trust is that the boy says, "Let's capture these private moments of ours.""Let's capture them in a video or photo." Hmm. " We'll see it later and feel good." Hmm. They capture it. Hmm. Now, who made the mistake? Both did. The boy made a mistake by asking to capture it. The girl gave her consent.
(52:52) Gave her consent. Right? Now, the device, whether it's a mobile or a laptop where it happened, tomorrow that data could fall into anyone's hands. Because your mobile broke and you gave it for repair. It fell. It fell. It went missing. It fell into someone else's hands and your data, your private moments that you had carefully captured, were leaked.
(53:22) So, there are many websites where you will find such videos. Earlier, there used to be MMS. Previously, there were MMS being made. What MMS used to be was, a CCTV is installed or someone secretly recorded something. Today, on all the adult sites where you find Indian videos of this nature, you will clearly see that both the boy and the girl have consented. To making the video.
(53:48) I'm not talking about uploading. I'm saying for making the video, because if you look at the camera angles, their conversations, and their movements, you will clearly realize they both made it together. Now, how it got uploaded is a separate matter. It got uploaded, like I mentioned, maybe their mobile was lost, or the guy shared it for fun, or there was a conflict between them and they decided to take revenge by uploading it.
(54:17) The guy uploaded it or the girl uploaded it . Right? So, this is the thing. So, I believe that if something can harm you in the future, why capture it at all? Just don't capture it. Enjoy the private moments you have spent together . What is the need to take a video or a photo of it? Many people have this fantasy that if we are being intimate, we should capture these moments and keep them for the future, because today's relationships start normally and go straight to talk of marriage.
(54:53) But I have seen that they end in just a few days, and all these things that we are talking about happen during that time. So shouldn't any boy or girl think that it's fine today, maybe our relationship will last a year or two, but what will happen to these photographs and videos then? Instead of crying then, it's better to think about it now.
(55:14) So, what message would you like to give them? No, look, as I just said, I mean that if you are in a relationship, you both should enjoy yourselves in whatever way you choose, whether you're being romantic, traveling, or being intimate; that's your outlook. I’m nobody to give advice on that. But whatever you are doing should remain between you two.
(55:37) Right? If you take photos or make videos, and they leak tomorrow, they’ll be out there as yours. A digital footprint is created, and it can leak anywhere. And there is no need to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend so much that you record a video and send it to them. Just imagine , in many cases, it has been seen that the guy was innocent, the video was made, he sent it to the girl, and then he deleted it from his phone.
(56:05) When their relationship broke, for some reason, the girl herself made it go viral. Yes. I mean, out of spite, she didn't even care about her own reputation. Now, many people might ask, what is this about? Some might say, what does that mean, doesn't the girl also have a reputation to protect? She does, but at that moment, she is full of spite.
(56:21) She is in a mood for revenge. She is in a mindset for retaliation. That is the headspace she is in. All right? So, she won’t consider whether it’s a loss or a gain for her. She will only focus on making sure the other person suffers . If I get hurt, so be it. No issues there. So, look, we asked many questions, and our podcast today was focused on how to understand girls and how to make them understand.
(56:49) I hope the things Detective Guru shared with you were very valuable , and he is soon coming up with a webinar on this very topic of relationships. So, if you have these kinds of things on your mind, you can join his webinar. I would like you to tell the audience a little bit about your webinar. Well, our first book has just been released, "How to Become a Detective.
(57:14) " It is for those who want to become detectives and those who want to take their first step into investigation. Who want to achieve their goals and become successful, good detectives. For that, we have written a book, How to Become a Detective, which is in both Hindi and English and is available on Amazon today.
(57:40) It is also available on Flipkart and Google Play in both Hindi and English as an e-book. So, there are various platforms where our book is available. Keeping this in mind, because we feel that not everyone wants to read a book or many people don't have an interest in reading books. So, for them, we have brought a webinar titled How to Become a Detective.
(58:05) The name of the webinar is the same as the book. In that webinar, we cover the journey from the thought of becoming a detective to becoming a successful one. What all needs to be done? What are the tools involved? What are the things required? We have brought all of that into it.
(58:27) We have included everything in it. The webinar is supposedly for about 90 minutes. But I feel that the amount of content I am going to provide live, it will run for 3 to 3.5 hours. So, this is one of our webinars, meaning the book and the webinar. After this, our second webinar and second book is titled Think Before Thinking About Marriage.
(58:53) Think Before Thinking About Marriage will come in the form of a book which is currently in printing. We will publish it soon, and it will hit the market shortly; we are also launching a webinar for it, Think Before Thinking About Marriage, which we will start within a month or a month and a half. In this, we will definitely talk about what we have discussed just now. We will talk about relationships.
(59:19) What are the red flags in a relationship that we ignore, why we ignore them, and that before understanding our partner, we must understand ourselves. This is also covered in the webinar, as often people say, "I didn't find the right partner." Have you ever thought or heard anyone say, "Hey, I wasn't right for my partner"? No one looks at their own flaws.
(59:46) They look at the other person's flaws. They look at the other person's strengths. They only look at their own strengths. They look at the other's flaws. Right? So, in this webinar, I have also included that you should first recognize yourself. Whether you are marriage material or not. What are those flaws within you that could cause your marriage to fail? Due to which your relationship could break.
(1:00:11) So, you first need to become worthy of the other person. Only then can you say whether or not the other person is worthy of you. But if you are not worthy of them yourself, then it makes no difference whether they are worthy of you or not. Because your relationship won't last, and that person will eventually tell you that you weren't worthy of them.
(1:00:30) That's right. So, balancing this moment of marriage, because a wedding is a one-day event. Whereas marriage is a lifelong responsibility. So, what is the difference between the two? Between a wedding and a marriage? Generally, people don't prepare for the marriage. They prepare for the wedding.
(1:00:54) They look at venues, clothes, menus, guest lists, and destination weddings. They look at pre-marital shoots. They do everything that might cast a shadow over their marriage. But everyone's marriage turns out just the same. Right? Whether or not it gets overshadowed, what does it matter? Okay ? What matters is how much you understand marriage.
(1:01:20) How much you understand the responsibility of marriage, and what you do, think, and plan to keep the marriage going for a lifetime. So, we will discuss all of this in that webinar and in that book. Well, thank you so much, sir, for giving us your valuable time. This was Mr. Rahul Rai Gupta, who is known as the Detective Guru, and he will soon bring that webinar where you will learn how to make our couple's life run smoothly.
(1:01:52) So, join his webinar, subscribe to the channel, and tell us how much you liked our conversation and what you liked the most by commenting below. We will meet again in the next podcast. Now, please allow me to leave. Jai Hind. With Detective Guru, you can get accurate and fast investigations for all kinds of problems in India and abroad.
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