Indian men need to hear this about sex !!!!

Indian men need to hear this about sex !!!!

Author Name:Aakriti Jain

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@Aakritijainn

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbQsc2RwVcM



Transcript:
(00:00) A lot of women have had sex and still felt like nothing really happened for them. Not bad sex, not traumatic sex, but sex that just ended and they were still exactly where they started. Hello, welcome and welcome back to my channel. This is Akriti and I hope you all are doing well. In today's video, we're going to be talking about this exact phenomena which actually has a term.
(00:19) It is called the orgasm gap. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that usually 95% of men orgasm during sex, but only 65% of women do. And now your first instinct would be to think maybe women's bodies are just more complicated. Maybe they just take more time to orgasm, but that's far from the truth.
(00:40) The truth is that women's bodies are de-centered. We do not put enough efforts to learn what they want and what they need in order to orgasm. So, no. Women's pleasure is not complicated. It's just not centered. In our society, where we definitely were taught the biological process of sex and how babies are made and the mechanical process of it, we weren't taught about things like pleasure and consent and everything else that matters in the act.
(01:03) So, this is how most people understand sex in our society. There's a bit of foreplay, that is if there is that at all, and then there's penetration, and then it ends when the man finishes. That's that. That's sex for them. And people hardly stop and question, wait, but wasn't it designed for both people? There are thousands of women who will just lie there waiting for it to feel like something more, but it just doesn't.
(01:28) And in that moment, they have a choice. Do I say something? Do I risk making this awkward? Do I risk upsetting him? Do I guide him? Or do I just stay silent and let him do his work? A lot of them choose silence. These are real stories that I've heard from real people and you can read them everywhere on the internet.
(01:46) A lot of women fake orgasms and we talk about them like it's a deceptive dramatic thing, but it's much quieter than that and it's much much sadder. It's a small performance, a decision made in a few seconds. He asks, baby, did you come? And the woman goes like, yes, I did. He looks happy. He looks confident. So, let me just go along with it.
(02:04) She does it not because she wants to lie. She does it because sometimes it's just hard to explain because of conditioning, because of patriarchy, because she was taught that her pleasure is not as important when compared to her partner's. Also, because she was never taught how to explain and he never even asked. Studies in the Journal of Sex Report show that a majority of women have faked orgasm at some point in their lives.
(02:27) And no, this doesn't just start in the bedroom. It has a much longer history. It starts very early. We grow up in a culture where women are taught to be very careful about their bodies. Sex is something that is seen as very shameful, especially for women. A man who's had sex is praised, oh my god, you got laid, bro.
(02:45) Whereas a woman who's had sex is just a [ __ ] or is looked down upon. Don't spread your legs and sit. Shh, don't talk about these things. Don't even think about these things. Don't talk to boys. Don't wear those clothes. All of these things lead women to think that sex is something that is sinful, that is shameful, and they do not pleasure.
(03:03) Even when pleasure is talked about, women are never the center of the conversation. It's always talked about from men's perspectives. And this is about everything else where sex is a part of it because we hear things like "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." If you want to keep your husband happy, do this, do that. But nobody teaches a man how to keep his wife happy.
(03:17) Some of these women don't even know what sex is. I'm talking about women from rural backgrounds or somebody who's not had that much exposure. And now when after marriage, these women are exposed to concepts like pleasure and sex, they don't have the language for it. They don't even know what they're experiencing or that they can ask for more.
(03:25) And even women who have the knowledge, who've had proper sex education, even they feel shameful because either their partners do not seem to care or do not want to invest energy in learning about their bodies. Also, because it's just hard to talk about something that you've never talked about before. And something that has such negative connotations attached to it.
(03:44) Men, on the other hand, aren't taught about these things explicitly either. They either learn from porn or locker room conversations or their friends or from silence. And they grow up thinking that sex is something you just have to do right, which is why a lot of men suffer from performance anxiety. It is a performance for them, not something that two people figure out together.
(04:03) They are so much focused on the act of penetration itself because this is what they've been taught about sex that they do not even care about the other aspects or asking their partners what they want or learning about the female anatomy and what is women's pleasure about. And these men have also grown up in a society where sex is something that men give and women take.
(04:21) So, when women's pleasure is missing, they do not even notice it because they were never taught to look at it in the first place. Let's understand a little bit about the female anatomy. Most women do not orgasm from penetration alone, but because it is something that is sufficient for men, we center this one thing and call everything else extra, foreplay, like it's not important.
(04:40) And people treat it as something optional because as long as the man gets to experience pleasure, it's all right. The act is done. A lot of men do the penetration part, orgasm, roll over, and sleep. When I put it like this, it sounds really uncomfortable, but it's a reality that thousands of women across the country and across the world live on an everyday basis.
(04:59) For a lot of women, foreplay, that is the optional extra part, is the main point, but they never even get to experience that. And when this pattern keeps on repeating without any improvement, a lot of women just give up and they already know in their mind how it's going to end, but they just follow along. And at that point, sex stops feeling like something you do for pleasure or for enjoyment and it not the solution here.
(05:32) It's important for both partners to talk about it, to have conversations even if they feel uncomfortable. Slowly, people get comfortable when they start talking about these uncomfortable things. But it's not about blaming women either because women orgasm more in lesbian relationships, so it definitely does not have anything to do with women's bodies, but all about learning about each other and what it takes the other person to feel pleasure.
(05:54) If you're a man watching this video, it's honestly not that hard to ask your partner questions like, what do you enjoy? Do you like this? Do you want me to do this? What is something that you want me to do? And that will only happen when you stop treating it like a chore, like something you just have to get done with.
(06:08) You have to make sure that your partner feels safe enough to express what she wants and what she needs in bed, too, because it's not just about you, it's about her pleasure, too. And in such vulnerable situations, people even notice the micro expressions and gestures that you make. So, if she says no for something and you make a slight expression and she notices it, there are chances that she's going to hesitate before telling you no the next time. So, please don't do that.
(06:30) In order for people to enjoy sex, they need to feel safe and comfortable and that is not the case for a lot of women because their partners do not create that space. So, if you're a straight man in relationship with a woman, it's important that you keep a note of these things. And if you're a woman watching me, I know that it's very very hard to ask for what you want because you were never taught that in the first place.
(06:49) You were always taught to adjust. But no, you deserve pleasure just as much as your partner does. And it's totally okay to ask for him. He is not going to read your mind, all right? If you do not enjoy something, you have to tell him. I understand that if you've told him many times and he's still not doing it, then it's his fault.
(07:06) But at least once you have to let him know what you like in bed and what you don't like. And you have to communicate about these things, no matter how uncomfortable it feels in the first place. If he does something that you do not like, say no. Do not say yes just to please him because you're not doing it only for his enjoyment. It's for you, too.
(07:12) If you're a man, try to learn her body language a little bit. Try to see when she's stiff. Try to see when it's not an enthusiastic yes and she's just like, okay. If it's not an enthusiastic yes, do not do that thing because pleasure is not something that one person keeps giving and the other person keeps taking.
(07:17) It's something that you build over time. It's going to take time understanding each other's bodies. But if you do not talk about it, it's never going to change. The orgasm gap isn't just about sex. It's about whose experience is prioritized and whose experience is just built around it. Who's asked to take whatever and who's asked to just give it to him.
(07:27) Also, I know it should be common sense, but a no is a no. And if your partner says no and you still keep doing something, then that's assault. That's sexual assault. I know talking about sex is a big big taboo in our society, so I thought twice before making this video, but I also thought of my girlfriends and so many other girls who suffered because of this orgasm gap because they never get to orgasm.
(07:48) They never get to feel pleasure in the first place. And that's just so sad. I hope this video reaches the right people who genuinely want to learn about their partners' pleasure and about their bodies and understand the conditioning and everything that leads to women being silent and just taking it and not being vocal about what they truly want.
(08:03) It will take a lot of learning and unlearning and it will take both people to make a difference, but it's not impossible, obviously. And honestly, understanding women's pleasure is not a rocket science. There are so many resources available. You can read books. You can read articles. You can talk to real women about it and they'll tell you exactly what they want.
(08:20) So, don't just assume. Don't ask friends. And please do not rely on porn. There are better sources available. Reach out to them. So, this is it for today's video. I hope that more women get to enjoy sex. More women get to talk about their pleasure, at least. And when people are talking about sex, they do not disregard women as some side character and just center on men.
(08:41) I hope you like the video. Tell me any other topic that you want me to make a video on. If you want me to make more videos on topics like these, please consider subscribing to my channel because it gives me the courage and the motivation to keep going. I'll see you in my next video. Till then, take care. And when you want something, please don't hold back. Ask for it.