పెళ్లి తర్వాత జీవితం అందుకే బోరింగ్...? |Ft. Roshni Rao | Toxic Relationship | iDream maguva

పెళ్లి తర్వాత జీవితం అందుకే బోరింగ్...? |Ft. Roshni Rao | Toxic Relationship | iDream maguva

https://youtu.be/1a0B5nMQPDs?si=jlnHxRKgh13q_CBj

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a0B5nMQPDs

Transcript:

(00:00) [Music] Okay. So, red flags in a marriage. Five red flags that is very important to look in your partner. Okay. First thing is disrespect. Okay. Disrespect. That is a big red flag. Okay. >> Okay. Second thing is no communication or silent treatment. Okay. Third thing not sharing responsibilities. >> Okay, >> that is okay.

(01:10) They are the working men will be sitting on the couch putting their legs on the table and watching TV. Yes. Sharing the responsibilities is very important. If your partner share responsibonsibility okay fourth thing is you know feelings. Okayign Ignoring the same thing again and again. Okay. emotions. In fifth one, too much involvement of relatives >> in the family. Okay.

(02:23) For example, these are red flags. >> Yeah. >> And in arranged marriages, the sad part is you will notice all these red flags after marriage. >> After marriage. >> After marriage. Okay. >> Because you get to live with each other only after marriage. >> But in love marriages you can see this before marriage also. Okay.

(03:07) But like so what can we say? uh you know if I keep hurting you with a stick continuously and I'm telling stop you know in that moment you will tolerate okay you will not talk much about it but in the end you will hold that stick >> you will throw that stick >> that is when your courage tells you you know get out of First of all, you cannot torture someone in that level.

(03:50) >> Disrespect is the biggest level. Physical abuse. I'm not even talking now. >> Disrespect only. If you love someone, how can you disrespect them? Yeah. >> But so disrespect. I remember a movie animal. If you saw that movie. Oh my god. >> Animal. So many members favorite movie. hero mother.

(04:16) He was there when I gave birth to two children and he tortures her and name it as a love. What are the red flags and green flags in that movie especially in that hero? >> Okay, that movie is written by a man. >> Yeah, >> for a man. Okay, >> I agree. >> So that movie is filled with red flags. Okay. >> Uh people who like that movie are the bearsers of that red flags. Okay.

(04:50) They are the red flags in their relationship. Okay. >> You know, okay. If you see women oriented movie okay like lipstick under my bha >> okay like darlings katyawadi >> exactly gangubai >> if you see all these movies these people won't tolerate because these movies are written by women >> ina uh you know it is shown very well animal movies it is shown that >> women should uh you know accept it they should tolerate it soiety If you love her, why will you hurt him? He he drags that strap.

(05:45) >> She'll she'll do that. >> Exactly. Is dragging that strap right? >> No. No, >> it is not right. That is giving pain to someone >> and then she gave that pain back. That's it there. And if you see movies like this actually shape a lot of mindset of today's men. >> Exactly. >> So it is very important that writers like and directors like Sepradi they have to think before making such movies.

(06:11) >> Yeah. So disrespect where we should consider it is disrespecting me. First of all partner every situation. Yeah. Okay. >> Whatever the situation, >> whatever the situation is. >> Anger that reflects a lot you know in the relationship that shows the whole relationship dynamic. Okay. >> Do I love my partner? No.

(06:51) >> Yeah. I just love my anger more. Misect you know uh in front of everyone people should you know uh respect their partners. and correct them behind the curtains. Exactly. Why will anyone be with such people? Male loneliness epidemic is very real. Most of the men are getting lonely. Why are they getting lonely? >> You know, [Music]

(07:56) mothers especially you know most of the Indian kids are not even connected with their fathers >> apart from money related issues. >> Yes. >> Okay. >> Fathers were not emotionally available at any point even if there are working mothers. >> Mothers are only still connected with the child. >> Yes. >> Mothers gave their time.

(08:20) They gave their emotions. Okay. When we were kids, we should not end up like our mothers. Yeah. Exactly. When we grew up, you know, they understood we should not be like our mothers. So we have to do everything to not be that. Okay. It's okay. That is why most of the men you know are getting into this male epidemic

(09:22) loneliness. Okay. And there are good men also. Okay. There are good men who has good IQ, good EQ and they're emotionally very settled. Even if they are not financially strong, most of the women are marrying them. >> Yes, I was about to ask that is it always men who are getting depressed or lonely? So many women like that also. Okay.

(10:06) You know, give me my freedom. Don't talk to me about anything. You know they find some flaws. Okay. favorite bed sheet. You know >> that is the reason for divorce situation. She yelled at him for 3 hours. Are you serious? >> Yes. She yelled at him for 3 hours. And pap is like same bed. Oh. She's like exactly mentally unstable. I think

(11:12) >> makes sense. She's in other aspect she's very normal only but she's like oh Yeah. And that is the reason for divorce. Obviously exactly you know it is my way or highway. Okay. So but it should not lead to disrespect. Okay. Okay. Okay. They should treat me as a new

(12:22) member in the family. Yes. What most of the people treat as a new slave of the family. >> New slave. >> New slave of the family. New slave of the family. Most of the women they don't want to tolerate adjustment. You know you know equality equality is not 50/50 it is about 100 100 okay both the people should give their 100%.

(12:57) Yeah, >> sometimes it'll be 2080. Sometimes it'll be 6040. >> That is called adjustment. You know, gender roles. You have to keep your you know life sorted by giving the responsibilities also equally. >> Yeah. So that is what leading to so many things like divorces, breakups, whatever it is.

(13:24) M why are youngsters not interested in getting married they are seeing their parents marriages you know so it is more like a you know system it is not a need to get married everyone is financially independent Everyone has their own you know careers and life everything and people are very taken back you know so they don't want to adjust they don't want to you know end up like their parents they want their freedom okay and they have their money so marriage is just an outdated system for them And and if you see the whole process of marriage

(14:26) is very you know outdated. If you see we have to evolve with time and with time you need to understand that there are two individuals in a marriage. >> Only there was a man who was the head of the family and he used to lead the house and the women used to follow >> but you know that time there was no financial independence for the women.

(14:49) M >> if you give financial independence to that woman also she would also you know come out of it okay but women don't want to be stuck in a marriage and they want to live their own life enjoy their own freedom exactly of life should not be just limited to marriage. Okay. You can live your life whenever you want so that everyone is barrier.

(15:42) They are not interested in getting married. Yeah. Most of the time compatible most of the people first they have to sit with each other communicate give time to each other arrange marriages 3 months you know they will be in that engagement phase and all you have to marry months months. Okay. You know they will feel like 3 to 6 months.

(16:32) Mhm. Mostly it is not enough to understand a person completely. Okay. [Music] compies in the end they have to live together. So you know it is very they want to come up they want to show that this is what I want. adjustment mindset compromise adjustment mindset equality they're liking it but if it is not equal it is you know imposed on them but Indian society is like we are made

(17:36) like you have to get married by 25 27 whatever it is you have to get two kids it's a mandatory living together. Oh no, very true. One thing all the marriages are missing is consistency. That is the one ingredient you know in marriages. Consistency. Love marriages. very two people were involved.

(18:42) Yes. You know, I in my work, you're in your work, you do your thing. very monotonous relationship. Most of the men don't want to get married. This uh you know a drum case you know All of this is happening. I have to marry this guy. I love this

(19:46) guy. society. First of all, this is not justification to what they're doing. They are doing that is very wrong. Okay. In one, two cases, men's community is very scared. >> Yes. Ina if you see honor killing marital rapes no women is getting that voice talking. Yeah,

(20:56) that is the problem. very you know and women are not like that. Not all women are like that. 10% of the women population if you take aside >> they might be doing all of this because they are not getting a voice to speak about their you know problems. That is why they are taking a very root step there. >> That is very wrong.

(21:39) But if you see 90% of the women are not doing any of that. That is why most of the men even if they say we are validating them. >> Yeah. But still is there a thing like is the biggest thing you know uh marriages topic marriage will never benefit a woman okay it has always benefited a manult engagement ring. Engagement ring recently.

(22:42) That is inerg. Okay. And it happened in Hyderabad city. Wow. So you know starting it never benefited a women. Exactly. bedroom same washroom same and he asked her to parents family

(24:05) after this things also it's like you know children okay career Okay. If it is her wish, it is her choice, it's fine. But pressure. It's too sad and very bad. It is very bad. You know, most of the time, you know, you know, they're doing it. Youngsters are more like, you know, system. What is the point of getting married? To be honest, we love their things and all whatever they say it's good.

(24:52) >> So to end with this they say always it's mandatory thing to get married. >> So is it really that necessary to get married? I will I will really tell uh if you are ready >> and not dependent on someone emotionally financially and if you find someone who is the same way >> you know he's not imposing your thoughts and opinions on you and he's respecting you valuing you >> same way vice versa you have to be together you can enjoy that life >> but if you're not having that in adjustment compromise Every second you're fighting,

(25:35) >> there is no point of getting married. >> There is no point of getting married. >> Okay, then.