How to be an Adult | Adulting | BandS Podcast | Sahana | Bala

How to be an Adult | Adulting | BandS Podcast | Sahana | Bala

Author Name:BandS Podcast

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@BandS-Podcast

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwNTVTSe5m8



Transcript:
(00:00) Adulting is so hard. Insurance 25 marriage 28 kids. This is how my life should be. According to the plan, people should learn how to say no. When you are an adult, there is a line where too much of solitude becomes loneliness. Personal lifecess, you're not [music] living it as such. You're always repeating things.
(00:31) You're always trying to relive the moments for the perfection. [music] Yeah, exactly. The guy, he has his social life. He has his friends. He's hanging out. But the women social but that is our own thing. We only do it. We choose to do it because we are tamed to get into that guilt trip. I think you have to balance.
(00:58) [music] Su being an adult you will break down and it's okay. Everybody is figuring out nobody knows what's happening. Nobody knows what is coming [music] next or what they are doing if they're doing it right or not. Don't waste your time on [music] thinking. act act because as I said age is not just a number >> income tax balance Income tax groceries
(01:59) living adulting is so hard in the customer exams. It comes with lot of lot of responsibilities. Accountability. >> Accountabilities. So many decisions to make. >> Exactly. Decisions like >> [laughter]
(02:44) >> Yeah. Yes. Like everywhere. What to eat, what to wear, what to do, what not to do. So many skills around. Yep. Questions, questions, questions, questions. much probably and I think this is all because [laughter]
(03:28) I have in the plan um 22 job 25 marriage 28 kids this is how my life should be according to the Instagram expectation or societal expectations but we also have something like relationships I don't feel like I'm
(04:14) like chill like 16 and 18 once you go to job I feel you see you are around people who have highly accomplished people yes like 22 years Are we behind life? Are we like [laughter] existential crisis like at the age of 19 people are like
(05:07) nothing. >> [laughter] >> We are near 30s. Oh my god. So scary. I feel 25. It's very different. Once you cross 25 somehow things change a lot. Now you don't feel like going to parties going out and doing things. I observed this I was like I have to go to my [laughter] space my days.
(05:54) I always wanted people around. I'm getting saturated. I always feel like I need my space. I have to go my room. >> [laughter] >> space. [sighs and gasps] Yep. I need my space. See, I agree. As a adult, you have deal with so many things. You're trying to create a lifestyle for yourself.
(06:36) You want to eat healthy, go to gym. Yeah. Have like steps count running. See, >> and then you have to balance your work life and then personal life, then friends, then family. Then you want to do all these things. >> You have to give time for all these things. You have to prepare for it. Wake up early. And >> yeah, >> perform perform high in the workplace also. You want Yes.
(07:02) He want everything as an shares, likes, comments, subscribeot, [laughter] credits. Once you 9 to5 switch on I mean you have to give your 100% in the work also. I think by yourself so when you're trying to I know like we are also on YouTube Instagram but then most of the times what I feel is personal lifecess
(07:47) you're not living it as such you're always repeating things you're always trying to relive the moments for the perfection You're not living in the actual moment. You're not happy. This I have every time when I start I pick up the camera and vlogist. What am I doing? Yeah. Then I made a a good talk to myself and uh separated my vlogging life and personal life.
(08:30) Once I am doing I don't do this. Once I'm doing that I only do that. >> Yeah. Like you have to differentiate. I think as a part of adulting you should also learn to >> create boundaries. >> Definitely you should talk we should talk about boundaries with people. People should learn how to say no when you are an adult. >> And people also should learn no means no [laughter] other there's no point.
(08:58) >> Yeah. You have to unapologetically say no. But it also doesn't mean I think most people say don't come into it. But as an adult we should also start understanding where they are coming from empathy. I don't think you'll have a life. See you can't always be yourself sitting with yourself and doing things and not trying to you know >> end up social beings.
(09:36) There is a line where too much of solitude becomes loneliness. >> Yeah. Oh, loneliness is big part of our lives as we are adulting. It's called social pruning. So you have 200 friends as you grow. You'll only have two people. >> But yeahity over quantity because these two people they'll know your traumas, your happy moments, your everything.
(10:06) >> Definitely. Sometimes I feel more excited about things than m good thing and a bad thing and I have to share it with people otherwise I don't take it but sometimes you also have things which you can't share with anybody. I think that is the part of biggest part of adulting where you feel lonely but at the same time you don't want people and you don't want to share.
(10:31) I don't know where to draw the line where to keep the balance you're also not doing justice to them and then that is also guilt like too much. Yeah, adult life is the most confused life. You are so much figuring out phase what are you as a personal? Yes. Yes. Imposter syndrome like you will start comparing to other people and you will feel less less and yeah
(11:27) I think imposter syndrome I observed this workplace see when you're working and managing your home you feel and justice justice when you have kids I think there's a cousin sister of mine she's a doctor okay so she's having baby and she is obvious they have bigger goals to you know take care of everything like her husband also supports her helps her but then he is more at work and probably woman and when she's talking to me she's is always like we are not giving her good time to play
(12:19) or good place to play because you should also understand everybody should understand that 5 years 10 years they'll have their own life. So for that you should have your own life. You can't you know sacrifice >> so many cousins after marriage after kids only. Yeah. Exactly. The guy of that myh Yeah. He has his social life. He has his
(13:07) friends. He's [clears throat] hanging out. But the women that is our own thing, we only do it like we choose to do it because we are >> tame to get into that guilt trip. I think you have to balance. See anywhere in life 42 years meditation. What he realized is you have to walk on a balanced way. What is the point of your happiness when you're not balancing it? >> So that is the reason you wore that mala today. [laughter] Yeah.
(13:51) And yeah, spirituality also identity. Yeah. I mean I I moved out from my place. Parents move out 21 years. I moved out from parents house. I intentionally go to temples or being spiritual. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Maybe that is what drives people. Hope journey. See anything that will help everyday hits you. everyday 12 hours
(14:51) everything. Yeah. That is the point. It will hit you. It will hit you. >> [laughter] >> What the hell? Like seriously, what the hell? >> What the hell? >> I said auntie >> sometimes I feel okay I'm doing good but then sometimes I feel I'm doing nothing.
(15:39) Every time I'm like okay [laughter] this shall pass. Yes, this is my moto of life like this two shall pass. This is nothing is permanent. These two shall pass. Okay. Every time I'm going up, I'm coming down. I'm like, okay. [laughter] I have a story. So, first place. So owners my first interaction with house owners.
(16:23) Oh my god. Owners torture. [laughter] You have to take care of the plumbing work, electrician work, water and groceries. Yes. Expired food. [clears throat] Yeah. Yeah. Even though you have cravings.
(17:11) won the rating. Problem [laughter] Okay, you should take care of the lifestyle. If you take a decision, >> you always feel
(17:56) you will regret like wrong. >> I think regret is also a big part of Yeah. Yeah. Definitely like try mistakes, lessons in life, adult part you will make mistakes and learning from the mistakes and that is the process. >> We should focus on learning on learning from the mistakes rather than repeating the mistakes.
(18:19) >> Exactly. If you repeat a fool of a stage you will give up on life like okay I have successfully ruined my life >> but also see you can't plan too much and you shouldn't plan too If you're putting a lot of time on planning, you're not living and you're losing that time. This is life. You can't you know have it
(19:08) all 100. Exactly. I can't emphasize enough on that. If we are talking about adultting, we should talk about money. >> Oh my god. Financial >> financial reality check. I think >> where we start and where do we start? Uber sandwich. Oh my god.
(20:07) insurance and financial discipline, parents health. Exactly. School. [clears throat] I really like think financial education very important and it should be taught. >> Yes. And also we have to address it. Being an adult you will break down. Yeah. >> You will break down and cry. And it's okay. Break down.
(20:52) It's okay. You will cry. You will, you know, vibe it. >> Vibe it off and then be a big girl and go to life again >> and stand up. >> Stand up. It's okay. Every time you >> you know fall down stand up with more courage, more confidence and more you know >> do it kind of attitude. First time it felt so lonely and next day okay it's okay yeah I can do it I have the strength to
(21:38) >> and it's also okay to share >> see everybody is in the Same trap. Everybody is at the same place but in different places. I mean same plane but different places. It's okay. You'll have that one or two people whom with whom you can share and you should share. [laughter] Sorry. >> Okay sir. Come on. >> So it's okay to share. Yes.
(22:12) And you should have that two people in your life with whom you can share anything without that. See one reality that I understood is not only everybody is figuring out. Nobody knows what's happening. Nobody knows what is coming next or what they're doing if they're doing it right or not. first I mean second it's always different first time 45 age is just a number but it is not like seriously it is not see
(22:59) because at the age of whatever we are at we can't play you have to do it but you can always have that It's okay to not know and it's okay to learn. It's okay not to learn. Own up to everything you know you are. And if you feel This is like embarrassment, shame
(23:47) like be a fool. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Make fool of yourself. >> Exactly. But never repeat it. >> Learn from it. That is what we should say mistakes. Growth is also bigger part of it. Definitely. Yeah. But then as you're growing, you understand things. You understand your parents perspective. You are empathetic. You're trying to be more, you know, present in the moment and understanding or openminded as we are growing.
(24:24) >> Yeah. Yeah. >> We have to grow. See, I write a journal every year. I observe and I'll look back the old last year's journal and I'll compare how my mindset is at that point of time and how my mindset is now. Deep down core values were same but the shift in the pursuing of things of thinking constantly reassess you should learn in and out. Yeah.
(25:20) Exactly. >> You live alone and you'll understand. >> You'll understand when you're making your own money. When you're living on your own, then you'll know the value of money. When you're putting your own money, then you'll understand, okay, it's not worth it. It's worth it. I feel like there are repetitive cycles investments.
(25:58) They're always putting it in a wrong basket. They're always putting in a wrong basket. So I think as a part of adulting you should understand that you should start healing. Yep. Inner healing, childhood trauma healing inner work is also should be also should be you see so many old people coming to you. I'm like see that is not an important thing in life.
(26:46) Yes. Yes. That's okay because we are living in a bigger world where we should understand healing yourself. >> Yeah. loving yourself. Be kind. Be kind to yourself. Like you don't have to constantly you can be kind to yourself and deal life in a more your way. Learn >> make mistakes and like live up to your mistakes.
(27:20) Own it. Own it and uh >> learn from it from it. Learn, unlearn, live. So >> much unlearning you have to do. Yeah. Unlearning. >> Everything you want in your life, you have to give it to yourself first and then only it will come from others. It's all mirroring. Life is all about mirroring. Start. One big thing is don't waste your time on thinking. Act act.
(28:04) Because as I said, if you like someone, if you love someone, go for it. See, if you want to hug someone, just hug. You'll never know. Yes. Yes. If you like you see people 25. So live it, love it and adulting uh is just a phase of life I feel and mostly expectations. So set your
(28:52) expectations right. You have to work for it and work for it. Don't think for it. Think and work. I think balance >> balance it. Figure out for yourself. You know it is constant how important it is. Try to trying to figure out is the only thing that we do in all our lives. are figuring it out. So they are also figuring it out.
(29:27) I know there are so many you have so many things. You discuss, you shout, you cry, you do everything. You understand what you really want. What is your passion? when you're trying to figure it out, make them understand. >> Sit and talk to them. And not only with your parents, but also with your partners or your friends.
(30:07) I think um life is all about figuring it out and yeah that's how we are trying to figure it out and help you figure it out >> and also like answers but yeah >> no it's it's in you yes it's in you so >> yeah this is the part of adulting