Why Do We Hurt the People We Love? | Rajitha Mynampally | Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Author Name:Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@UnscriptedMeghana
Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGVV0VWhSwM
Title: Why Do We Hurt the People We Love? | Rajitha Mynampally | Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Author Name: Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Description: Why do we hurt the people we love the most? And why can everything seem perfect on the outside while something feels missing within?
In this episode of Unscripted with Meghana Reddy, Rajitha Mynampally, Life Coach and Relationship Expert, opens up about heartbreak, self-doubt, difficult marriages, emotional wellness, and the struggles we often keep hidden.
In a society where family problems are rarely discussed openly, she shares honest insights on relationships, emotional healing, and understanding ourselves better.
🎙️ Watch this heartfelt conversation and discover the journey behind her powerful words!
timestamps
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00– Teaser / Highlights
01:35– Guest Introduction
02:20– Host's Welcome & Intro
03:00– Guest's Background & Life Journey at Age 25
06:03– Fitness Coaching, Yoga & Personal Transformation
08:42 – Common Counseling Issues & Relationship Dynamics
11:00 – Expectations, Self-Worth, and Changing Yourself
12:00 – Mindset Strategy: Programming Your Mind
14:15 – Arguments in Relationships & Forgoing Ego
18:10 – Managing Expectations & Gender Differences in Relationships
22:00– Balancing Masculine & Feminine Energies
25:40– Modern Communication, Social Media, and Relationship Dynamics
30:10– Understanding & Addressing Extramarital Affairs
41:00 – What Matters Beyond Money & Family in Marriage
44:55– Importance of Pre-Premarital Counseling
50:35– Raising Strong Daughters & Relationship Compromise
54:30 – Overcoming Guilt & Prioritizing Personal Time
57:45 – Investing in Personal Development & Financial Literacy
01:04:40– Impact of Parental Fights on Children
01:09:20 – Perspectives on Gen Z vs. Millennials
01:15:45 – Taking Personal Responsibility & Practicing Gratitude
01:18:05– Expressing vs. Suppressing Emotions & Practice of Self-Love
01:22:35 – Final Thoughts & Conclusion
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{Rajitha Mynampally, Rajitha Mynampally podcast, Why do we hurt the people we love, Unscripted with Meghana Reddy, Meghana Reddy podcast, Rajitha Mynampally interview, relationship expert India, emotional wellness expert, life coach Rajitha Mynampally, mind strategist, relationship advice, why we hurt loved ones, emotional healing, relationship struggles, difficult marriages, marriage problems, heartbreak and self doubt, healthy relationships, emotional intelligence, self awareness, family relationships, mental wellness, women empowerment, Telugu podcast, Telugu relationship podcast, Telugu interviews, Indian relationship issues, personal growth, emotional wellbeing, Unstoppable Champions Hub, Dr Ananya Foundation}
Transcript:
(00:00) talking about other person, other relationship when you do counseling. What are the most common things? Nobody cares like I am right, you're wrong. Saying sorry always doesn't [music] mean that you are wrong and they are right. >> I'm not a feminist by the way. [music]
(00:52) They made it. Men can have multiple woman through replies, text, screenshots. You think it's good for this generation. [music] person guest Rajita
(01:40) life coach and mindset strategist emotional wellness and relationship expert [music] unstoppable champions hub and Dr. Ana Foundation founder and CEO. Heartbreak, self-doubt, difficult marriages, relationships, struggles, one-on-one,000 social medi [music] atal journey. Let's find out. Rajita ma'am welcome to unscripted. Hi ma'am
(02:26) thank you so much for joining with us on unscripted. How are you doing? >> I'm doing good Mega and uh I should really thank you for uh having me. Yeah I'm so happy to see you first of all. >> Thank you. uh it's so delightful I can say because this youngster doing podcast this is a real uh new experience and some I don't know in me also some freshness is there to talk to you >> I'm so excited >> absolutely me too >> so to start off uh life coach Anedi biola who is Rajita at 25 >> Rajitta is at 20 for his scattered soul
(03:07) uh But silently I think I I was a student of life at that then and uh very new mother >> trying to uh able to connect the dots what exactly life is throwing at me and very busy in uh catching up that obstacles and moving forward. Absolutely in action mode. Absolutely in action mode without a proper structure.
(03:35) I can tell without proper anything that is me that was me. But uh if I look now to my younger self at that moment I think I was purely under training. >> Yeah. by the god but that you want to do this I don't think that it was purely a my desire to do >> but my always my passion my interest my inside one soul always wanted to give even though I was suffering in my own
(04:19) way I always wanted to help people those who are in a troubles when I was 22 25 I got married 19. Okay. Okay. I was 21. I remember this word very carefully. Husband language husband language very bad but like you can't get rid of them.
(05:09) So you can't tell that like while parents somehow I couldn't take that word. So it's in inside in my blood I guess but it's a purely a divine calling and uh the job assigned by God. uh this profession chose me in spite I chose uh not unknowingly not knowingly I was learning uh courses over the period of a time when I was put into um all kind of a problems I have one kind of a therapy is learn something new and I don't focus on that I try to squeeze out
(05:58) So that's why I am into fitness. I can tell. I never thought I will be a fitness coach. Right now also I'm a fitness coach. But I love anatomy. Being a biochemist, BSC student, I somehow I'm very much connected to the anatomy. So I love to know about the body like muscles and all that. So So somehow it is there in my built.
(06:29) So Reebok internationally certified advance and all these trainer. Okay. I'm a 500 hours yoga coach in yoga aerial yoga trainer. So this all things counseling psychology and I was overweight. I was 84. [laughter] Yes. Yeah. 84 twins. So then I realized to take care of my daughters I should be healthy because father-in-law mother-in-law so I should be healthy reason I I lost weight I did a nutrition course so there all
(07:15) things I was learning first I learned aian course twins Milo always like the fitness I did for that that uh nutrition I did for myself and um counseling psychology I love to handle that kind of how these people will behave certain way what what they are behaving what kind of mindset they are operating from. So that's the reason I I wanted to
(08:01) know >> because when you know their background why they are behaving why they are doing to me creates a panic anxious and you get hurt and what made them to behave like that gives a analysis auka it's not me >> it's them >> it's about them their behavior their pattern their bought up it's not about me then your level of this hurt, anxious, judging about yourself, image, self-confidence.
(08:36) That's how I used to figure it out. >> But totally when the dot connect, I was preparing for this. >> But uh when you do counseling, one-on-one counseling, what are the most common things? What are the most common thing? Common things is always talking about other person, other relationship. They are like this emotional silent treatment.
(09:26) But now everyone looks like me. I'm a loser. I'm fit for nothing and they don't respect me. So they feel like unheard, unseen, uh not validated work for what they did even. Yeah. >> So they want to uh share their feeling which nobody is listening >> and that makes them so pathetic and they lose themselves their self worth selfimage selfconidence.
(09:57) See let me tell you if you really let me put it in this way your immunity is low you will be attacked by diseases very very easily. problem at the same time when your selfworth selfimage when these two three are low then you will be hit very strongly and it is a vicious cycle vice versa that evidence you are getting every day.
(10:48) So this is how subconsciously subconsciously. Yeah. So they come with a lot of expectations but straight away I will tell everyone out there right now also don't expect anyone to change. Only one thing in your hands is >> yourself. >> And the beauty is change is inevitable. Change is constant. If you change, if you change, everything around you change.
(11:28) >> If you don't like this environment, pick up yourself and place where you like it. Done for the day. Simple. >> That's simple. But it sounds simple. It is not that simple. But if you can't physically please yourself out of the place, you can pick up yourself mentally, emotionally, little disconnection.
(11:53) and then there ends >> it is not so tough also if you train your mind >> mind is a trainable >> that's why I picked up uh now the topic and myself as like mindset strategist >> that is the one thing which I can give uh I can vouch for that the language what you tell to your mind >> it thought >> that gives emotion That emotion makes you to behave certain way how you behave and that the behavior is your action and gives a result.
(12:30) M >> so if you want any project in software if you Zenz's know that if you want certain output in your the coding whatever the computer language you need to give one language language language what language command you tell that language C++ powerbi whatever and that gives a output >> absolutely what output you want in your life give that command what is going on regard Regarding that you don't give a language >> what you want >> what you want intentionally give that language command to your mind intentionally this day is like I'm I
(13:11) want to lead my day like this you will be leading like that absolutely it's in your hands that's what I >> definitely try this out in fact me little bit surely but certainly I will tell there is no try darling M >> you do it either you don't do it ei >> so once if you trust the process that's it it happens if you question the process it don't happen because you doubt it that simple universe is that simple uh actually but we were conditioned in such a way this emotional emotions and feelings we were conditioned like that It's very hard to
(13:58) break. But mind is such a such a beautiful uh uh walnut. If you see beautiful when I looked into your Instagram, you believe in something like uh winning the argument is equivalent to losing the relationship. Telugu household nobody cares like I want to win the argument. >> I am right you're wrong. So how is it different from what you believe in? >> It's not about I believe or you believe finally what you want >> finally what you want.
(14:42) >> If you are cared about only your ego >> then it it's about the win. If you are caring about the relationship then you need to forgo ego. ego I'm telling what is right what is wrong is too different >> for me if I say if I say what color is this magna >> black in fact little black dark I say white >> just I'm telling you uh you tell again it is is what color you can see >> it's black >> I say white magna can you see again you tell like >> no it's black >> it's white >> it's black [laughter] >> this is what we are fighting for
(15:25) >> I See how show me then is oh it's black and then I show it's oh it's white >> we both are right >> but I see from my background my mindset and you see from your mindset >> so then we both are right >> in the world nothing is right nothing is wrong >> how you put yourself is the thing so when you want things a relationship work.
(15:57) >> Saying sorry should be very common normal. >> Saying sorry saying sorry always doesn't mean that you are wrong and they are right. M >> it's sometimes but fake sorry like sorry >> I understood that you got hurt because of my behavior which I didn't do intentionally now I understand I will I'm extremely sorry for that that's a beautiful way to put it out point of intentionally. So explain.
(16:44) So winning argument for what you want to be argument. >> Are you a judge? It's not a law for both you are fighting for what relationship. Finally, you should fight for the thing. >> We are away from the thing. We are talking about this difference of opinions. I love you but I feel like somehow I don't agree with this.
(17:19) I really understand what you are trying to tell. Somehow my opinion is this >> healthy way. healthy way. Just put it up that you are operating from the power and authority dominant. >> Yeah. No, if you love me, you will agree with me. This is again the >> pressure is gaslighting, manipulating, so many things come.
(17:44) So it's a totally relationship law is all about that's what I'm telling now. What matters to you. >> Yeah. that the person that bonding are you and you tell suddenly I love you but I love you. So this is how uh yeah it is always customized winning argument but do you think expectation word plays a major role? Absolutely expectation tricky thing this word is expectation always creates a disappointment but we often come with some expectations in life right everyone with everyone of
(18:29) course so it's like no she would have told before that I would have prepared. So this expectation creates disappointment. So first only the expectation expectation not in the level of expectation someone will but expectation
(19:21) Will I be able to cope up? If they give that's okay. If no that's okay. If you work operate your life from that place no disappointment. If if you are expecting somebody obviously they will be expecting in something in return. >> Are you ready to butter that exchange that you do? You have that >> to give back >> to give back.
(19:56) So formula expectation is not a wrong thing but other person but you think gender differentiation different expectations >> 2,000% no men operates from the lust and sex >> they want a bodily things >> woman operates from the heart and care and warmth which is a emotion which is like Um prema >> so this is a b system in whole life everything is a give and take >> that's what exactly that's how our whole this culture works
(20:41) also this is I bring this to the table But then that woman got that inable but I'm not putting I'm not a feminist by the way but at the same time I want to create this awareness to the men over here. same woman but 20%
(21:27) but cooking cleaning this is designed such a way woman has a so many facets >> you can see like as last week only I did a one wonderful podcast in signatures today you know about the spiritual they were davies If you see one but beyond limits and that like somewhere every goddess has a different so
(22:15) she's not meant for One single thing you can't handle man. >> Whatever you want you are running towards her. So woman you don't try to become men. Funny. You are cutting down all the your energy. >> Masculine energy >> that life your left brain, right brain in everybody, men, woman, left brain operates from the masculine which is a logic and this creative brain, right brain as a feminine energy.
(22:58) This is like like that kind of pampering she needs. She doesn't need a solution. You just be there. So woman masculine energy. Now you are asking you are asking to work like a man, behave like a woman, look like a girl >> and work like a m like almost slave. Mhm. >> What do you want guys? Seriously. So that's how this contrast like so much of controversial uh things are going on.
(23:36) But nowadays Jenzi is very clear. They are giving maybe that kind of space to women and girls like what they want they are doing it internally. How far that conditioning is changed I don't know because you guys might know day-to-day lives how they operate in your groups. But certainly I could see some change.
(23:58) But even woman I want to change uh to operate from the thing of to prove that we are working like a men. No >> slow down. >> Bring your feminine energy back. That is more powerful than the masculine energy. If I give an example when Mahishasura that demon has come They ask like shy then they gave all the weapons and she becomes the one who become dura and kills.
(24:34) Oh my god such a beauty. Men knows when to hand over that shetty. So that is how you need to know. It is not about you and me. You both makes your life complete. That's why marriage culture is there. >> Yeah. >> The two energies are equally important. It is not one time feminine, one time masculine. So that's how like sometimes papa will become very strong and mama.
(25:09) So this both will act if you see that that's how actually our system operates coexist. It's by default. But we want um feminine energy weakness my dear woman out there I want to tell feminine energy is so much powerful if you operate only from that energy you can nail anything in your life that's what I want to tell her >> but uh you know young people so from that perspective replies nice text screenshots you think it's good for this generation Allah fight but that whatever action
(26:00) so we used to operate the same way so that thing is same no so this all things that one one beautiful Instagram I have seen I want to share gold diamond she'll order and for
(26:53) [laughter] that's how you know so now you are operating from that one but the whole idea behind why you are behaving like that insecurity >> possessiveness so this all things are making you you want to own that person you want to um but this to certain extent it's nice but you showing that real is not actually real >> that really is not real >> you are looking at your whole life with that one real one real behind that real you don't know the reality
(27:40) how it works that one frame your own life you are comparing it doesn't work like that you don't know their real life so um just like even though if somebody is sending that real if I want to tell in that try to go through that real they're not hurting you they're not fighting with you they want to say something to you which is very deep >> I think I am unseen >> you are neglecting me can we repair our relation this is how I want this is what I want something they are telling in that way so look at that real in a
(28:20) different way don't think like criticism sarcasm don't see silently they are communicating through that like communication through real they are sending that your behavior speaks sometimes you silent it means you are heard hurt I think she would have told that's what men always say women said no >> he's not baba anything like to get into the he had a lot of stuff outside also what he's dealing with so yeah this is yeah it is like it it is ancient story
(29:06) but in different way >> medium marind absolutely rightly said. So don't become spy. Don't become each other. Social media spying. So detects detectives put your things conversation always makes conflict to deal with the conflict very easily. >> Communication and conversations with the tone from where we want to solve.
(29:36) M >> don't do conversation and communication with the tone where I want to prove you wrong solution is the goal problem. So don't dig it really explodes in such a way where you spoil really your emotional relationship full out. But uh one thing that is common and more complicated are extraarital affairs I think.
(30:14) So but social media it's become much more easier to you know get into these kind of things but to tell whether that old generation generation there is a lot Uh like they made it men can have a >> multiple >> multiple woman not only wife multiple women different faces.
(31:08) So they had so that was that also he does the same betting. Absolutely. And second they used to have a movies has this multiple keeps and all that. So authoritative
(31:57) authoritative but First question. But if you go like this without any emotional attachment towards the lust and all these men if go they go for a physical attachment undoubtedly very rare woman men goes for the emotional availability that is for the sure but they play the card as like I don't have emotional availability at my wife that's
(32:42) why I want you that that clicks that correctly hits that woman. So we both make a good partnership they gives but the woman why they are picking up a fire. It's not always about the sex woman. So it is always about the emotional emotional emotional coziness and certainly social med. Oh you look beautiful.
(33:29) Oh, this person is saying he knows my value and this has become you this will reduce logic emotion this will come up that girl will come up and then it's like 16 years old. If you tell >> [laughter] >> So it it has become certain
(34:17) emotions bonding bonding But they won't care for that because they were not seen for so long. It one day >> they were not seeing each other for so long. Emotional detachment not physical detachment. Physical detachment may be there. So then they started secrecy. That emotional attachment with the secrecy will make things so worst.
(35:00) To build more trust and more connection. The same kind of efforts if you put in your own family that also builds. the but you can really again reignite that bonding but we we try to do the other absolutely social media. So social media
(35:54) recently yesterday beautiful couple who are YouTubers famous couple of their love but because of Insta only. Yeah, real night. She jumped with that fellow who leaving her husband. Okay. It's my mind. It's me time. It's mental
(36:43) trauma. These all things awareness you guys created so much it's me choose yourself. So this is how >> slowly gaslighting happened from Gen Z to millennials. So this is how they are taking affairs are going on. So it is a simple thing. If you want a person not to go out of your relation don't only hold nurture.
(37:06) >> Yeah. >> Love always makes you grow. Love never shrinks. So see that like what kind of love you are operating from then obviously you won't be have affair with your girl every day >> or every your boy men anything yeah a 24 year old amay chosi she might have gone through this with her husband but she's adjusted and moved on and she's watching us what would you tell her >> so here see I don't know complete life of her but one thing I would love to tell once how much you are disconnected from his before this incident what
(37:45) happened are you giving time to him that love >> see I won't tell everyone no >> that is his character his domain but as long as woman how much you are operating they are not much into um too much of this kind of cringe you're not very attached to dependent kadu uh this woman right now the 24 woman years maybe she is operating she's um I think a working woman you are
(38:31) operating I don't want you to I don't want I have I know so you're not depending When you're not dependent on somebody that kick men you ask then he said like h then he feel connected then when you do everything on your own you become so manly and your feminism is not seen then you disconnect and not only your fault always but see that like if that person already had enough fire then have a conversation what made you to go what made you to and what
(39:18) don't go to fight what can be done right now two options if you really selfresect I see it's in your hands my decision and now being a I'm uh people say me Jenzi millennial because I come from this and that in between thinking so two things in your hands ruthlessly is there any chance that he he he can come back as he is repeatedly doing it and how is is he regretful regretful
(40:06) so and physical abuse, mental abuse and reason. So these are all things you sit and work then take the decision to talk and confront and heal that relation spending more time. Let's bring it to the table and let's sit and sort it out. Madam get out of the thing. So don't put affairs >> first of all communication, >> conversation, counseling, >> repair if not separation but deception is not the choice having extra material.
(40:51) >> That's very nice. Uh I think Telugu households arranged marriage is a very common thing even till today. So they see money or they see family. What would you say is that enough emoting beyond money and family? Absolutely. Undoubtedly some patterns are repeating like aggressiveness like background check.
(41:38) But now in this situation what I tell mostly money is matter. BMW compulsory. This is very important. But when you are connection, so before connecting emotionally hormones are like that like when you talk to a boy, girl, suddenly you fell in love, green, rosy, rosy something.
(42:27) So like you need to have a awareness 3 months a 6 months it's a very crucial time but one most common thing I observed but and all the women out there don't get married to any man any man that thinking he would change. >> So expectation that's your choice. I will tolerate this. >> I will tolerate because he's so good at
(43:12) so many things. So but three things if you have to check how he is blaming language. So you need to observe that. So point and the second is when he gets angry traffic how rubbish is behaving. So you need to observe all this way
(44:01) because it is scripted mostly. see what's the worst in that. the other way. It it is not like you are seeing everything negative but certainly how he is able to manage his emotions how he is responding back how authoritative is becoming. So these things you observe even So you need to have that check on that
(44:53) and I prefer Magna uh to tell everyone who are watching your Jenzi premarital counseling is damn important nowadays >> okay >> [snorts] >> But beyond that what together want to how they want to grow together what are the major things in life we do. So when like we do uh okarni individually then we understand his personality.
(45:36) When we understand this girl personality when like okay we put like but still we are ready to but wow. So cancel. So you can't choose to suffer. So this is see marriage is maybe but the certain extent uh those who are really want to work together that goes more stronger like if you if somebody is walking men
(46:24) and woman is walking this is too tired always there need you need a heavy efforts to balance It's always there is no much effort because you together and it is like going on a track very beautifully. So see that like you work partnership beautiful relation but uh that's a very nice thing pre-marriage counseling >> absolutely it works it works >> but most people arrange marriage parents play a big role marriageh gives silent learning.
(47:15) So they are counselors. They too had counselors. So they had their guru with them. So they they teach the tricks. In fact, knowledge was there in that some communication will come to make him because he's also very um macho and full on equal to
(48:02) >> so that's how he was skipped from the thing so you need to understand this pre-marital counseling is in it was there. So nobody is ready to listen and in fact nobody is ready to share their experiences because everybody has their own bad experiences in marriage. and utterly of like with conventionally they won't be able to say and they will tell
(48:47) from their background if I remember they love each other but Then he suddenly starts behaving like what he thought. [snorts] Then she resists. Then she resists because he loved and got married.
(49:36) So now the advisers in the family because we we say we guide from our own perspectives and our own perceptions one experiences. So when the counselors come they tell what is right what is wrong because we don't operate from your end no so this is what it works neutral it's a simple diagnosis report not match match parents attachment let's say somethingot attachment
(50:24) something girls are conditioned in such a way that true. >> Yeah, that's what u nice question. Now I would love to request every mother out there here. We are conditioned to raise a daughter to be good rather than to be strong. So you need to teach each girl now because after seeing so many incidents out there um modern woman still she chose to adjust not to come
(51:16) out of the relation. And it's a only because of damn teaching conditioning to be good and to adjust. Um um what if this like world will say like be good girl, be obedient rather than a strong woman. So strong woman and not being a rebel. opinion in certain way you are telling this is no means no boundary means boundary it is only choosing your selfrespect nothing to do with other person ego
(52:00) >> nothing to do with the society it's only you I'm not teaching any rebel and because you are missing that slavery If you are giving that pressure to them like you are treating them like a slaves, it's not done. Now to whom you have to prove adjust compromise. Uh compromise is a very good word in the relationship.
(52:43) If both compromise is changing your behavior >> and lose until like like you are missing yourself totally you are erasing yourself and that is you're losing yourself. When you lose yourself you're not there. So don't do that. That erasing is not correct. Compromise is too good because some behaviors has to be changed >> to together to be togetherry uh like sodium uh NA and some chloride rend they both lose their own color and forms a new color. It's it's changing their
(53:30) behavior and becoming one and giving a beautiful color. So that's how you need to become in that relation after so long time. I'm reminding my chemistry experiments here out there. [laughter] >> I'm glad. Yeah. And somewhere I'm sure it's so difficult being a woman. >> Yeah. 100% it is a difficult woman is but at the same time now being so modern what you are choosing
(54:18) when you choose something no biased thought you need to come out of that most of the woman exact Fore bad mother. So if they are buying something for themselves, That is not actually love.
(55:10) That is not actually position 100% convincing. When you satisfy yourself in the job as a full professional, you'll be extremely satisfied. When you are extremely satisfied, you will be transferring switching from that place to as a mother 100% because you are extremely happy. >> You're not guilt. and Netflix series.
(55:52) You won't carry this guilt to the office. >> Makes sense. >> Makes sense. And if you are going to the friends, you did a great job in your job and you really cooked while going out and you went with a such a kind of relaxed energy. I did my best to my family. Now let me do best to myself. When you go out there, you are fully when you are not doing the things supposed to do.
(56:29) When you are there then the guilt comes. Don't put able to prioritize time correct science science class then you go and this and you go maths then go and this you didn't use this uh time this time this time either of them you'll fail in everywhere. and you'll because you were like there you
(57:19) then then only you tired and they say like are you serious not [laughter] done this is your job to really choose what you want >> for that nothing to do with men nothing to do with society it's you >> so when you have a clarity in your own thought that's why mna I would love to really uh request and advise every single men and women janzi please invest in personality development >> that is the only thing will save you from any kind of emotional, financial and confidence level of problems because
(58:06) today if you see me uh that was one thing I did from the day I got married 20 years when I am 20 uh I choose to learn from the songs podcast and developments and some learnings every six months one new course dot connect today the person who I am because of that >> you need to learn yourself >> learn continuously learn learn the growth will happen in such a way you'll be able to deal with damn any single thing even relationship even your emotional management how to manage your emotions is the key in this world right
(58:54) now you are exposed to so much to media comparison, jealousy, greed, next, next, next next. Too much of show off like iPhone 15. But you want that. So you need to understand where to disconnect whether I am affordable. Is it necessary for me to what I am buying like for what show off? No.
(59:32) That like kind of rejection of no I don't want this is emotional freedom. >> It's emotional freedom is such a beautiful once you conquer it you won't get affected to any kind of criticism any kind of dominance any kind of anything. So you need to first I would love to really as a well-wisher and a uh guide or a coach or a mother as a sister anything I would love to tell keep learning guys learning just started in your life that school learnings college learnings won't help in real life there is no emotional management lessons there is no money management there is no money
(1:00:12) awareness women always we are teaching that financially aware freedom No financial freedom. It is not about financial. Be financially aware. Teach your girl insurance. This all things and woman also doesn't want to go. No, your control comes there. So you need to be financially aware. What are like insuranceances? What is the stock? What is the investment liabilities? When you know it, you will try to achieve it.
(1:01:02) But value working because they know the value of money. So that's how you need to be financially aware. >> But financial independence, do you think it's important in a way? >> Absolutely. Too much because that's how we were trained. Then you are hurt that like when you get financially awareness you don't ask level of hurting become less.
(1:01:36) Oh, like obviously rich richest for everything they go they have to go and ask for me why I became selfindependent Elsa I after marriage I never liked to ask that one Word ask then I started creating my own from there I became individual person. It is not about the du pogaru rebel duindan not listening to husband not it is nothing to do with that that financial independence gives you ability to decide
(1:02:25) >> ability to say no ability to say >> you like one bag 2,000 husband But you like somehow 3,000. That color is so good. That is so good. And you can't fight over there. It looks stupid for him. But for me, this girl always in a woman a girl is there. >> That is the beauty. Men should know this technique.
(1:03:09) Pamper that girl, you'll win your wife. That easy. Is that easy? That's why. No. I remember when I was pregnant. So for that like we search for so much and I can't forget >> because when you want you want it but for me that is experience that is a feeling people often forget what you did >> but don't forget how you made them feel
(1:03:57) it all about life comes with the feelings I feel Good. >> I feel money. Chap. >> I have money. I bought this. >> I feel good. >> I feel happy. Happy is a feeling. You did this. I got angry. Feeling. So this all things all around comes in the emotions. So you life is operating through emotions. Emotional management is the key in the relationships.
(1:04:30) That's what I would love to tell. But you know wife and husband they're trying to figure out everything and they have children. >> So figuring out all the fights what does it do to the children? Yeah, this is again awareness one thing is fights fights is a correct word always difference of opinions what you are fighting for it is not right is Okay.
(1:05:13) Stinking and why she says that you are not acknowledging. Go and take your out because from so long I was doing. You are not noticing that. See that she became a mother now. So that's how you need to know. You should you should sit and sort it out whether we are ready for children. your unresolved,
(1:06:05) fights, traumas will come into picture what you are giving as a legacy >> and this will continue. So you need to resolve it at the same time sit and counel rules we don't shout >> we will be what are the things you need to sit and write because already they're learning at home and social media is teaching something.
(1:06:43) So [snorts] single child, single mother, single father be clear. Are you ready really to handle how you handle children but sit it's nothing difficult one thing it's not so difficult only thing have a patience and sit and talk conversation always minimize your uh controversies
(1:07:29) complications communication and situ communication with communication But mental health mental [clears throat] health what they are picking up you don't know father. So father
(1:08:15) because his concentration is full. So aggressive. So boy next at the same time toxic relationship they come from that backgroundies but young parent watching this simple be aware of your behavior Your behavior is not only affecting your
(1:09:02) life. Your behavior is affecting your partner, your behavior is uh if you have a children, their life too. So be aware what you're doing. Be I can say in now present trending word be organic. >> Be organic. Yeah, I love how you're so jenzycoded [laughter] >> because that's what I told you know like millennial organic organic words.
(1:09:36) Um you are very clear of your views. We are anxious. We are emotionally toxic now. We want therapy. We want me time. You are very clear that that words we are unaware. We don't know how to put our feelings uh in words. So you guys know so I'm very thankful to this Janzi that you taught us how to how we have to express our feelings, how we should keep our boundaries, how we were insisted to follow the society conditions, not saying no and to please somebody even keeping your selfworth happiness at the
(1:10:24) stake. So now you taught us to choose you first before you do something to others. So I would love to thank Jenzi but at the same time you have absolute fantastic knowledge but execution. >> You are anxious, you are unhealed, you are this, you are traumatized, you are this but now work on that. But to work on that it needs action.
(1:10:54) action is lacking. >> True. >> Second is for the for the betterment. You are not doing action for the victimization card. You are throwing and you are going into using a substance use. You are taking a help of some uh substances, drugs, weed, alcohol, uh uh girls changing that is giving instant kick.
(1:11:22) for that instant kick that you are like choosing but your ADHD will happen that you are not satisfied with this we're not this we're not this and any kind of intensity intensity then you become emotionally immune >> what you are telling you are like hurt you got hurt you are unhealed but you are what you doing to yourself when you got everything in your we were not we didn't had but when you had you fought for this you fought for the right do good do best take the control >> but do best things for your life we surrender we learn from you guys that's
(1:12:07) what I tell it's nothing to do with experience useless Millennial. No, it is not about the experience. It is how much you are aware of your life. How much clear that beautifully what they are telling they are teaching that beautifully to live life to experience every kind of a feeling. But we are not living the life which we want.
(1:12:42) We are living the life which social media want. What the other society want. Everything is happening for something. live for yourself. Now you are also getting into the trap. You are also saying no like go and work for that and get it done. >> Yes. Yeah. >> When you challenge millennials about trauma so much of things we also talk about trauma and all things when we have
(1:13:27) a full plate. We didn't never had a full plate. We have to go and sow and reap. You are hunger, you are then you will hit your child. So much of drama. Everyone has their own story. Darling. So here you need to understand the story. Why this person is behaving like that? Let me listen his story. When you listen the story, let me tell you this girl.
(1:14:21) Rest girl 50 best boy. This boy has some heart disease. something see your perceptions are changing according to the conditions are so very much different you can't generalize millennials you can't generalize jenjis bad no jes are creating I I'm extremely proud of you today sitting here and giving this podcast to you
(1:15:05) >> so sensible questions so every every story is so different it's about the perception mindset they are coming from so you just respect and movies. Go for it. Review it. Learn from it. Discard. Unlearn. Come back. >> What you become is not only learning some things unlearning. >> Makes you actually very clear in your decisions.
(1:15:39) So this is how always what I love to tell is don't try to three things in life. I love to tell don't complain, don't blame, don't show that you are victimized. >> And these three is one part one only one word I would love to tell. Take responsibility of your own life. >> Then you operate from own authority. I will take over it. You depend na this n what door this that when you go alone tuck tuck you go you will be okay because you chose
(1:16:28) why you I used to do that's why I'm telling this example why this is late no I want to go if now I go that indigo flight is 2 hours late what the hell you'll do if dad is there I would have been depended on I used to do like that. So now I operate when you take the responsibility you try to enjoy that gap >> you learn.
(1:16:52) So that's how take the responsibility and the best part in life is be grateful to the life what you have. Be grateful to the life what you have. Gratitude is the space where from where if you operate uh today I'm so grateful that both of our mics are working or something power didn't go something that even the chip didn't finish battery didn't finish and it is coming so uh undisturbed right like car everything so grateful sometime because of this you don't know the value when you have it
(1:17:36) >> so be grateful when you are grateful full abundance mindset from there when you ask universe you'll get everything >> when you ask from the scarcity I am this I am pap I am unlucky I am don't have this even though you have a number of things you're not noticing >> so you will be operating from that mindset only >> but lastly I I want you to bust relationships generation partner.
(1:18:21) So that one drama that stop that drama. So I want you to don't become that uh now stop that especially because when you do that that opposite person will go into a rigid thing two people are right how I would know. So start communicating and uh whatever you communicate is not a problem. The topic is not the problem. How you say is a problem.
(1:18:54) >> What you say is not at all a problem. So how you say articulate uh learn art of communication learn. So when you think that sensibly little take a step back pause breathe and then tell like is it necessary to ask to say hypothe uh disasters will happen. So with pause so many things can really come into your
(1:19:38) way. So uh that's a myth in uh sorry to disappoint you guys uh but one thing I can tell only only you can love yourself abundantly. When you love yourself abundantly and when you are so proud of you what you are what you become then automatically you are the reflection to the society you are the mirror.
(1:20:03) So when you love yourself there is no chance that people has to love you. People has to respect you when you love when you like when you respect. So build your selfimage selfworth self validation if you say that I know like two people you're not good. So you should know that you are looking beautiful or not. So nobody's validation is not needed.
(1:20:32) some like didn't come it doesn't mean you are not beautiful. So you posting for somebody's validation and you are looking for their validation you spoil your own mood. >> Yeah. So don't operate from that. I always feel like self self love is the key that uh uh learnings is the second key and emotional uh management you shouldn't know how to uh uh channelize your emotions nicely.
(1:21:10) Uh it is not at all that you shouldn't express your emotions but don't suppress 100%. If you suppress it should it will be a uh lead to a depression. But if you express in such a way it should have something like to say I feel hurt. I am not hurt. I feel feeling is feelings go. Feelings come and go. It go. It will go.
(1:21:48) So I am I am angry. Okay. So you see your emotion and you as a different thing. Now you talk to why you are angry. Criticized. >> What did he say? Or she said criticized. Adidama kadu disc this card you are a vegetarian you got something in the non-vegetarian you will you eat take it off why you are creating a mess that like I got in the non-vegetarian or we can say I'm a vegetarian I was like a mess so that's how you need to like see when you see look this life as a simple it is extremely simple often we complicate
(1:22:34) Yes sir. Yes. >> True. >> Yes. [laughter] >> That's amazing. Thank you for such an insightful conversation ma'am. Thank you so much for being with us on Anans. I don't know what exactly you wanted what I told but I told from my point of view my experience my learnings my observations in counselings what like people come and say how I feel how I dealt in my life so many challenges in my life how I narrate to my mind how I see life in that way and such a disaster uh full of challenges life how I can like say these words this simply because I I
(1:23:17) started operating from that challen that scene and that space and I'm feeling so good so freedom so that's why I said like this much easily I'm telling that don't think like ah easy gadu no it's easy if you think it's a hard if you think >> so that >> that's amazing thank you so much ma'am >> thank you magna and I wish a lot of good luck to you and more power to you and uh I asked you the first thing like what actually your goal the goal which you shared with me to reach to Jenzi about giving the full correct insights about
(1:23:57) the uh world affairs current affairs I loved it guys keep following unscripted with me because she's all unscripted uh this is nothing manipulated out there like nothing anything it's all on the raw So just keep following and keep encouraging and uh suggest to whom you want more to learn with.
(1:24:19) She's ready to serve here. >> Thank you ma'am. Thank you so much. >> Thank you so very much Magna. [music]
Author Name:Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@UnscriptedMeghana
Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGVV0VWhSwM
Title: Why Do We Hurt the People We Love? | Rajitha Mynampally | Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Author Name: Unscripted with Meghana Reddy
Description: Why do we hurt the people we love the most? And why can everything seem perfect on the outside while something feels missing within?
In this episode of Unscripted with Meghana Reddy, Rajitha Mynampally, Life Coach and Relationship Expert, opens up about heartbreak, self-doubt, difficult marriages, emotional wellness, and the struggles we often keep hidden.
In a society where family problems are rarely discussed openly, she shares honest insights on relationships, emotional healing, and understanding ourselves better.
🎙️ Watch this heartfelt conversation and discover the journey behind her powerful words!
timestamps
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00– Teaser / Highlights
01:35– Guest Introduction
02:20– Host's Welcome & Intro
03:00– Guest's Background & Life Journey at Age 25
06:03– Fitness Coaching, Yoga & Personal Transformation
08:42 – Common Counseling Issues & Relationship Dynamics
11:00 – Expectations, Self-Worth, and Changing Yourself
12:00 – Mindset Strategy: Programming Your Mind
14:15 – Arguments in Relationships & Forgoing Ego
18:10 – Managing Expectations & Gender Differences in Relationships
22:00– Balancing Masculine & Feminine Energies
25:40– Modern Communication, Social Media, and Relationship Dynamics
30:10– Understanding & Addressing Extramarital Affairs
41:00 – What Matters Beyond Money & Family in Marriage
44:55– Importance of Pre-Premarital Counseling
50:35– Raising Strong Daughters & Relationship Compromise
54:30 – Overcoming Guilt & Prioritizing Personal Time
57:45 – Investing in Personal Development & Financial Literacy
01:04:40– Impact of Parental Fights on Children
01:09:20 – Perspectives on Gen Z vs. Millennials
01:15:45 – Taking Personal Responsibility & Practicing Gratitude
01:18:05– Expressing vs. Suppressing Emotions & Practice of Self-Love
01:22:35 – Final Thoughts & Conclusion
#rajithamynampally #UnscriptedWithMeghanaReddy #relationshiptalks #emotionalwellness #telugupodcast ##relationshiptalks #emotionalwellness #relationshipexperts #lifecoach #mindsetmatters #emotionalhealing #selfdoubt #heartbreakhealing #marriageandrelationships #healthyrelationships #mentalwellbeing #womenempowerment #difficultconversations #selfawareness #personalgrowth #telugupodcast #teluguinterviews #indianrelationships #podcastindia #unfilteredconversations #healingjourney
{Rajitha Mynampally, Rajitha Mynampally podcast, Why do we hurt the people we love, Unscripted with Meghana Reddy, Meghana Reddy podcast, Rajitha Mynampally interview, relationship expert India, emotional wellness expert, life coach Rajitha Mynampally, mind strategist, relationship advice, why we hurt loved ones, emotional healing, relationship struggles, difficult marriages, marriage problems, heartbreak and self doubt, healthy relationships, emotional intelligence, self awareness, family relationships, mental wellness, women empowerment, Telugu podcast, Telugu relationship podcast, Telugu interviews, Indian relationship issues, personal growth, emotional wellbeing, Unstoppable Champions Hub, Dr Ananya Foundation}
Transcript:
(00:00) talking about other person, other relationship when you do counseling. What are the most common things? Nobody cares like I am right, you're wrong. Saying sorry always doesn't [music] mean that you are wrong and they are right. >> I'm not a feminist by the way. [music]
(00:52) They made it. Men can have multiple woman through replies, text, screenshots. You think it's good for this generation. [music] person guest Rajita
(01:40) life coach and mindset strategist emotional wellness and relationship expert [music] unstoppable champions hub and Dr. Ana Foundation founder and CEO. Heartbreak, self-doubt, difficult marriages, relationships, struggles, one-on-one,000 social medi [music] atal journey. Let's find out. Rajita ma'am welcome to unscripted. Hi ma'am
(02:26) thank you so much for joining with us on unscripted. How are you doing? >> I'm doing good Mega and uh I should really thank you for uh having me. Yeah I'm so happy to see you first of all. >> Thank you. uh it's so delightful I can say because this youngster doing podcast this is a real uh new experience and some I don't know in me also some freshness is there to talk to you >> I'm so excited >> absolutely me too >> so to start off uh life coach Anedi biola who is Rajita at 25 >> Rajitta is at 20 for his scattered soul
(03:07) uh But silently I think I I was a student of life at that then and uh very new mother >> trying to uh able to connect the dots what exactly life is throwing at me and very busy in uh catching up that obstacles and moving forward. Absolutely in action mode. Absolutely in action mode without a proper structure.
(03:35) I can tell without proper anything that is me that was me. But uh if I look now to my younger self at that moment I think I was purely under training. >> Yeah. by the god but that you want to do this I don't think that it was purely a my desire to do >> but my always my passion my interest my inside one soul always wanted to give even though I was suffering in my own
(04:19) way I always wanted to help people those who are in a troubles when I was 22 25 I got married 19. Okay. Okay. I was 21. I remember this word very carefully. Husband language husband language very bad but like you can't get rid of them.
(05:09) So you can't tell that like while parents somehow I couldn't take that word. So it's in inside in my blood I guess but it's a purely a divine calling and uh the job assigned by God. uh this profession chose me in spite I chose uh not unknowingly not knowingly I was learning uh courses over the period of a time when I was put into um all kind of a problems I have one kind of a therapy is learn something new and I don't focus on that I try to squeeze out
(05:58) So that's why I am into fitness. I can tell. I never thought I will be a fitness coach. Right now also I'm a fitness coach. But I love anatomy. Being a biochemist, BSC student, I somehow I'm very much connected to the anatomy. So I love to know about the body like muscles and all that. So So somehow it is there in my built.
(06:29) So Reebok internationally certified advance and all these trainer. Okay. I'm a 500 hours yoga coach in yoga aerial yoga trainer. So this all things counseling psychology and I was overweight. I was 84. [laughter] Yes. Yeah. 84 twins. So then I realized to take care of my daughters I should be healthy because father-in-law mother-in-law so I should be healthy reason I I lost weight I did a nutrition course so there all
(07:15) things I was learning first I learned aian course twins Milo always like the fitness I did for that that uh nutrition I did for myself and um counseling psychology I love to handle that kind of how these people will behave certain way what what they are behaving what kind of mindset they are operating from. So that's the reason I I wanted to
(08:01) know >> because when you know their background why they are behaving why they are doing to me creates a panic anxious and you get hurt and what made them to behave like that gives a analysis auka it's not me >> it's them >> it's about them their behavior their pattern their bought up it's not about me then your level of this hurt, anxious, judging about yourself, image, self-confidence.
(08:36) That's how I used to figure it out. >> But totally when the dot connect, I was preparing for this. >> But uh when you do counseling, one-on-one counseling, what are the most common things? What are the most common thing? Common things is always talking about other person, other relationship. They are like this emotional silent treatment.
(09:26) But now everyone looks like me. I'm a loser. I'm fit for nothing and they don't respect me. So they feel like unheard, unseen, uh not validated work for what they did even. Yeah. >> So they want to uh share their feeling which nobody is listening >> and that makes them so pathetic and they lose themselves their self worth selfimage selfconidence.
(09:57) See let me tell you if you really let me put it in this way your immunity is low you will be attacked by diseases very very easily. problem at the same time when your selfworth selfimage when these two three are low then you will be hit very strongly and it is a vicious cycle vice versa that evidence you are getting every day.
(10:48) So this is how subconsciously subconsciously. Yeah. So they come with a lot of expectations but straight away I will tell everyone out there right now also don't expect anyone to change. Only one thing in your hands is >> yourself. >> And the beauty is change is inevitable. Change is constant. If you change, if you change, everything around you change.
(11:28) >> If you don't like this environment, pick up yourself and place where you like it. Done for the day. Simple. >> That's simple. But it sounds simple. It is not that simple. But if you can't physically please yourself out of the place, you can pick up yourself mentally, emotionally, little disconnection.
(11:53) and then there ends >> it is not so tough also if you train your mind >> mind is a trainable >> that's why I picked up uh now the topic and myself as like mindset strategist >> that is the one thing which I can give uh I can vouch for that the language what you tell to your mind >> it thought >> that gives emotion That emotion makes you to behave certain way how you behave and that the behavior is your action and gives a result.
(12:30) M >> so if you want any project in software if you Zenz's know that if you want certain output in your the coding whatever the computer language you need to give one language language language what language command you tell that language C++ powerbi whatever and that gives a output >> absolutely what output you want in your life give that command what is going on regard Regarding that you don't give a language >> what you want >> what you want intentionally give that language command to your mind intentionally this day is like I'm I
(13:11) want to lead my day like this you will be leading like that absolutely it's in your hands that's what I >> definitely try this out in fact me little bit surely but certainly I will tell there is no try darling M >> you do it either you don't do it ei >> so once if you trust the process that's it it happens if you question the process it don't happen because you doubt it that simple universe is that simple uh actually but we were conditioned in such a way this emotional emotions and feelings we were conditioned like that It's very hard to
(13:58) break. But mind is such a such a beautiful uh uh walnut. If you see beautiful when I looked into your Instagram, you believe in something like uh winning the argument is equivalent to losing the relationship. Telugu household nobody cares like I want to win the argument. >> I am right you're wrong. So how is it different from what you believe in? >> It's not about I believe or you believe finally what you want >> finally what you want.
(14:42) >> If you are cared about only your ego >> then it it's about the win. If you are caring about the relationship then you need to forgo ego. ego I'm telling what is right what is wrong is too different >> for me if I say if I say what color is this magna >> black in fact little black dark I say white >> just I'm telling you uh you tell again it is is what color you can see >> it's black >> I say white magna can you see again you tell like >> no it's black >> it's white >> it's black [laughter] >> this is what we are fighting for
(15:25) >> I See how show me then is oh it's black and then I show it's oh it's white >> we both are right >> but I see from my background my mindset and you see from your mindset >> so then we both are right >> in the world nothing is right nothing is wrong >> how you put yourself is the thing so when you want things a relationship work.
(15:57) >> Saying sorry should be very common normal. >> Saying sorry saying sorry always doesn't mean that you are wrong and they are right. M >> it's sometimes but fake sorry like sorry >> I understood that you got hurt because of my behavior which I didn't do intentionally now I understand I will I'm extremely sorry for that that's a beautiful way to put it out point of intentionally. So explain.
(16:44) So winning argument for what you want to be argument. >> Are you a judge? It's not a law for both you are fighting for what relationship. Finally, you should fight for the thing. >> We are away from the thing. We are talking about this difference of opinions. I love you but I feel like somehow I don't agree with this.
(17:19) I really understand what you are trying to tell. Somehow my opinion is this >> healthy way. healthy way. Just put it up that you are operating from the power and authority dominant. >> Yeah. No, if you love me, you will agree with me. This is again the >> pressure is gaslighting, manipulating, so many things come.
(17:44) So it's a totally relationship law is all about that's what I'm telling now. What matters to you. >> Yeah. that the person that bonding are you and you tell suddenly I love you but I love you. So this is how uh yeah it is always customized winning argument but do you think expectation word plays a major role? Absolutely expectation tricky thing this word is expectation always creates a disappointment but we often come with some expectations in life right everyone with everyone of
(18:29) course so it's like no she would have told before that I would have prepared. So this expectation creates disappointment. So first only the expectation expectation not in the level of expectation someone will but expectation
(19:21) Will I be able to cope up? If they give that's okay. If no that's okay. If you work operate your life from that place no disappointment. If if you are expecting somebody obviously they will be expecting in something in return. >> Are you ready to butter that exchange that you do? You have that >> to give back >> to give back.
(19:56) So formula expectation is not a wrong thing but other person but you think gender differentiation different expectations >> 2,000% no men operates from the lust and sex >> they want a bodily things >> woman operates from the heart and care and warmth which is a emotion which is like Um prema >> so this is a b system in whole life everything is a give and take >> that's what exactly that's how our whole this culture works
(20:41) also this is I bring this to the table But then that woman got that inable but I'm not putting I'm not a feminist by the way but at the same time I want to create this awareness to the men over here. same woman but 20%
(21:27) but cooking cleaning this is designed such a way woman has a so many facets >> you can see like as last week only I did a one wonderful podcast in signatures today you know about the spiritual they were davies If you see one but beyond limits and that like somewhere every goddess has a different so
(22:15) she's not meant for One single thing you can't handle man. >> Whatever you want you are running towards her. So woman you don't try to become men. Funny. You are cutting down all the your energy. >> Masculine energy >> that life your left brain, right brain in everybody, men, woman, left brain operates from the masculine which is a logic and this creative brain, right brain as a feminine energy.
(22:58) This is like like that kind of pampering she needs. She doesn't need a solution. You just be there. So woman masculine energy. Now you are asking you are asking to work like a man, behave like a woman, look like a girl >> and work like a m like almost slave. Mhm. >> What do you want guys? Seriously. So that's how this contrast like so much of controversial uh things are going on.
(23:36) But nowadays Jenzi is very clear. They are giving maybe that kind of space to women and girls like what they want they are doing it internally. How far that conditioning is changed I don't know because you guys might know day-to-day lives how they operate in your groups. But certainly I could see some change.
(23:58) But even woman I want to change uh to operate from the thing of to prove that we are working like a men. No >> slow down. >> Bring your feminine energy back. That is more powerful than the masculine energy. If I give an example when Mahishasura that demon has come They ask like shy then they gave all the weapons and she becomes the one who become dura and kills.
(24:34) Oh my god such a beauty. Men knows when to hand over that shetty. So that is how you need to know. It is not about you and me. You both makes your life complete. That's why marriage culture is there. >> Yeah. >> The two energies are equally important. It is not one time feminine, one time masculine. So that's how like sometimes papa will become very strong and mama.
(25:09) So this both will act if you see that that's how actually our system operates coexist. It's by default. But we want um feminine energy weakness my dear woman out there I want to tell feminine energy is so much powerful if you operate only from that energy you can nail anything in your life that's what I want to tell her >> but uh you know young people so from that perspective replies nice text screenshots you think it's good for this generation Allah fight but that whatever action
(26:00) so we used to operate the same way so that thing is same no so this all things that one one beautiful Instagram I have seen I want to share gold diamond she'll order and for
(26:53) [laughter] that's how you know so now you are operating from that one but the whole idea behind why you are behaving like that insecurity >> possessiveness so this all things are making you you want to own that person you want to um but this to certain extent it's nice but you showing that real is not actually real >> that really is not real >> you are looking at your whole life with that one real one real behind that real you don't know the reality
(27:40) how it works that one frame your own life you are comparing it doesn't work like that you don't know their real life so um just like even though if somebody is sending that real if I want to tell in that try to go through that real they're not hurting you they're not fighting with you they want to say something to you which is very deep >> I think I am unseen >> you are neglecting me can we repair our relation this is how I want this is what I want something they are telling in that way so look at that real in a
(28:20) different way don't think like criticism sarcasm don't see silently they are communicating through that like communication through real they are sending that your behavior speaks sometimes you silent it means you are heard hurt I think she would have told that's what men always say women said no >> he's not baba anything like to get into the he had a lot of stuff outside also what he's dealing with so yeah this is yeah it is like it it is ancient story
(29:06) but in different way >> medium marind absolutely rightly said. So don't become spy. Don't become each other. Social media spying. So detects detectives put your things conversation always makes conflict to deal with the conflict very easily. >> Communication and conversations with the tone from where we want to solve.
(29:36) M >> don't do conversation and communication with the tone where I want to prove you wrong solution is the goal problem. So don't dig it really explodes in such a way where you spoil really your emotional relationship full out. But uh one thing that is common and more complicated are extraarital affairs I think.
(30:14) So but social media it's become much more easier to you know get into these kind of things but to tell whether that old generation generation there is a lot Uh like they made it men can have a >> multiple >> multiple woman not only wife multiple women different faces.
(31:08) So they had so that was that also he does the same betting. Absolutely. And second they used to have a movies has this multiple keeps and all that. So authoritative
(31:57) authoritative but First question. But if you go like this without any emotional attachment towards the lust and all these men if go they go for a physical attachment undoubtedly very rare woman men goes for the emotional availability that is for the sure but they play the card as like I don't have emotional availability at my wife that's
(32:42) why I want you that that clicks that correctly hits that woman. So we both make a good partnership they gives but the woman why they are picking up a fire. It's not always about the sex woman. So it is always about the emotional emotional emotional coziness and certainly social med. Oh you look beautiful.
(33:29) Oh, this person is saying he knows my value and this has become you this will reduce logic emotion this will come up that girl will come up and then it's like 16 years old. If you tell >> [laughter] >> So it it has become certain
(34:17) emotions bonding bonding But they won't care for that because they were not seen for so long. It one day >> they were not seeing each other for so long. Emotional detachment not physical detachment. Physical detachment may be there. So then they started secrecy. That emotional attachment with the secrecy will make things so worst.
(35:00) To build more trust and more connection. The same kind of efforts if you put in your own family that also builds. the but you can really again reignite that bonding but we we try to do the other absolutely social media. So social media
(35:54) recently yesterday beautiful couple who are YouTubers famous couple of their love but because of Insta only. Yeah, real night. She jumped with that fellow who leaving her husband. Okay. It's my mind. It's me time. It's mental
(36:43) trauma. These all things awareness you guys created so much it's me choose yourself. So this is how >> slowly gaslighting happened from Gen Z to millennials. So this is how they are taking affairs are going on. So it is a simple thing. If you want a person not to go out of your relation don't only hold nurture.
(37:06) >> Yeah. >> Love always makes you grow. Love never shrinks. So see that like what kind of love you are operating from then obviously you won't be have affair with your girl every day >> or every your boy men anything yeah a 24 year old amay chosi she might have gone through this with her husband but she's adjusted and moved on and she's watching us what would you tell her >> so here see I don't know complete life of her but one thing I would love to tell once how much you are disconnected from his before this incident what
(37:45) happened are you giving time to him that love >> see I won't tell everyone no >> that is his character his domain but as long as woman how much you are operating they are not much into um too much of this kind of cringe you're not very attached to dependent kadu uh this woman right now the 24 woman years maybe she is operating she's um I think a working woman you are
(38:31) operating I don't want you to I don't want I have I know so you're not depending When you're not dependent on somebody that kick men you ask then he said like h then he feel connected then when you do everything on your own you become so manly and your feminism is not seen then you disconnect and not only your fault always but see that like if that person already had enough fire then have a conversation what made you to go what made you to and what
(39:18) don't go to fight what can be done right now two options if you really selfresect I see it's in your hands my decision and now being a I'm uh people say me Jenzi millennial because I come from this and that in between thinking so two things in your hands ruthlessly is there any chance that he he he can come back as he is repeatedly doing it and how is is he regretful regretful
(40:06) so and physical abuse, mental abuse and reason. So these are all things you sit and work then take the decision to talk and confront and heal that relation spending more time. Let's bring it to the table and let's sit and sort it out. Madam get out of the thing. So don't put affairs >> first of all communication, >> conversation, counseling, >> repair if not separation but deception is not the choice having extra material.
(40:51) >> That's very nice. Uh I think Telugu households arranged marriage is a very common thing even till today. So they see money or they see family. What would you say is that enough emoting beyond money and family? Absolutely. Undoubtedly some patterns are repeating like aggressiveness like background check.
(41:38) But now in this situation what I tell mostly money is matter. BMW compulsory. This is very important. But when you are connection, so before connecting emotionally hormones are like that like when you talk to a boy, girl, suddenly you fell in love, green, rosy, rosy something.
(42:27) So like you need to have a awareness 3 months a 6 months it's a very crucial time but one most common thing I observed but and all the women out there don't get married to any man any man that thinking he would change. >> So expectation that's your choice. I will tolerate this. >> I will tolerate because he's so good at
(43:12) so many things. So but three things if you have to check how he is blaming language. So you need to observe that. So point and the second is when he gets angry traffic how rubbish is behaving. So you need to observe all this way
(44:01) because it is scripted mostly. see what's the worst in that. the other way. It it is not like you are seeing everything negative but certainly how he is able to manage his emotions how he is responding back how authoritative is becoming. So these things you observe even So you need to have that check on that
(44:53) and I prefer Magna uh to tell everyone who are watching your Jenzi premarital counseling is damn important nowadays >> okay >> [snorts] >> But beyond that what together want to how they want to grow together what are the major things in life we do. So when like we do uh okarni individually then we understand his personality.
(45:36) When we understand this girl personality when like okay we put like but still we are ready to but wow. So cancel. So you can't choose to suffer. So this is see marriage is maybe but the certain extent uh those who are really want to work together that goes more stronger like if you if somebody is walking men
(46:24) and woman is walking this is too tired always there need you need a heavy efforts to balance It's always there is no much effort because you together and it is like going on a track very beautifully. So see that like you work partnership beautiful relation but uh that's a very nice thing pre-marriage counseling >> absolutely it works it works >> but most people arrange marriage parents play a big role marriageh gives silent learning.
(47:15) So they are counselors. They too had counselors. So they had their guru with them. So they they teach the tricks. In fact, knowledge was there in that some communication will come to make him because he's also very um macho and full on equal to
(48:02) >> so that's how he was skipped from the thing so you need to understand this pre-marital counseling is in it was there. So nobody is ready to listen and in fact nobody is ready to share their experiences because everybody has their own bad experiences in marriage. and utterly of like with conventionally they won't be able to say and they will tell
(48:47) from their background if I remember they love each other but Then he suddenly starts behaving like what he thought. [snorts] Then she resists. Then she resists because he loved and got married.
(49:36) So now the advisers in the family because we we say we guide from our own perspectives and our own perceptions one experiences. So when the counselors come they tell what is right what is wrong because we don't operate from your end no so this is what it works neutral it's a simple diagnosis report not match match parents attachment let's say somethingot attachment
(50:24) something girls are conditioned in such a way that true. >> Yeah, that's what u nice question. Now I would love to request every mother out there here. We are conditioned to raise a daughter to be good rather than to be strong. So you need to teach each girl now because after seeing so many incidents out there um modern woman still she chose to adjust not to come
(51:16) out of the relation. And it's a only because of damn teaching conditioning to be good and to adjust. Um um what if this like world will say like be good girl, be obedient rather than a strong woman. So strong woman and not being a rebel. opinion in certain way you are telling this is no means no boundary means boundary it is only choosing your selfrespect nothing to do with other person ego
(52:00) >> nothing to do with the society it's only you I'm not teaching any rebel and because you are missing that slavery If you are giving that pressure to them like you are treating them like a slaves, it's not done. Now to whom you have to prove adjust compromise. Uh compromise is a very good word in the relationship.
(52:43) If both compromise is changing your behavior >> and lose until like like you are missing yourself totally you are erasing yourself and that is you're losing yourself. When you lose yourself you're not there. So don't do that. That erasing is not correct. Compromise is too good because some behaviors has to be changed >> to together to be togetherry uh like sodium uh NA and some chloride rend they both lose their own color and forms a new color. It's it's changing their
(53:30) behavior and becoming one and giving a beautiful color. So that's how you need to become in that relation after so long time. I'm reminding my chemistry experiments here out there. [laughter] >> I'm glad. Yeah. And somewhere I'm sure it's so difficult being a woman. >> Yeah. 100% it is a difficult woman is but at the same time now being so modern what you are choosing
(54:18) when you choose something no biased thought you need to come out of that most of the woman exact Fore bad mother. So if they are buying something for themselves, That is not actually love.
(55:10) That is not actually position 100% convincing. When you satisfy yourself in the job as a full professional, you'll be extremely satisfied. When you are extremely satisfied, you will be transferring switching from that place to as a mother 100% because you are extremely happy. >> You're not guilt. and Netflix series.
(55:52) You won't carry this guilt to the office. >> Makes sense. >> Makes sense. And if you are going to the friends, you did a great job in your job and you really cooked while going out and you went with a such a kind of relaxed energy. I did my best to my family. Now let me do best to myself. When you go out there, you are fully when you are not doing the things supposed to do.
(56:29) When you are there then the guilt comes. Don't put able to prioritize time correct science science class then you go and this and you go maths then go and this you didn't use this uh time this time this time either of them you'll fail in everywhere. and you'll because you were like there you
(57:19) then then only you tired and they say like are you serious not [laughter] done this is your job to really choose what you want >> for that nothing to do with men nothing to do with society it's you >> so when you have a clarity in your own thought that's why mna I would love to really uh request and advise every single men and women janzi please invest in personality development >> that is the only thing will save you from any kind of emotional, financial and confidence level of problems because
(58:06) today if you see me uh that was one thing I did from the day I got married 20 years when I am 20 uh I choose to learn from the songs podcast and developments and some learnings every six months one new course dot connect today the person who I am because of that >> you need to learn yourself >> learn continuously learn learn the growth will happen in such a way you'll be able to deal with damn any single thing even relationship even your emotional management how to manage your emotions is the key in this world right
(58:54) now you are exposed to so much to media comparison, jealousy, greed, next, next, next next. Too much of show off like iPhone 15. But you want that. So you need to understand where to disconnect whether I am affordable. Is it necessary for me to what I am buying like for what show off? No.
(59:32) That like kind of rejection of no I don't want this is emotional freedom. >> It's emotional freedom is such a beautiful once you conquer it you won't get affected to any kind of criticism any kind of dominance any kind of anything. So you need to first I would love to really as a well-wisher and a uh guide or a coach or a mother as a sister anything I would love to tell keep learning guys learning just started in your life that school learnings college learnings won't help in real life there is no emotional management lessons there is no money management there is no money
(1:00:12) awareness women always we are teaching that financially aware freedom No financial freedom. It is not about financial. Be financially aware. Teach your girl insurance. This all things and woman also doesn't want to go. No, your control comes there. So you need to be financially aware. What are like insuranceances? What is the stock? What is the investment liabilities? When you know it, you will try to achieve it.
(1:01:02) But value working because they know the value of money. So that's how you need to be financially aware. >> But financial independence, do you think it's important in a way? >> Absolutely. Too much because that's how we were trained. Then you are hurt that like when you get financially awareness you don't ask level of hurting become less.
(1:01:36) Oh, like obviously rich richest for everything they go they have to go and ask for me why I became selfindependent Elsa I after marriage I never liked to ask that one Word ask then I started creating my own from there I became individual person. It is not about the du pogaru rebel duindan not listening to husband not it is nothing to do with that that financial independence gives you ability to decide
(1:02:25) >> ability to say no ability to say >> you like one bag 2,000 husband But you like somehow 3,000. That color is so good. That is so good. And you can't fight over there. It looks stupid for him. But for me, this girl always in a woman a girl is there. >> That is the beauty. Men should know this technique.
(1:03:09) Pamper that girl, you'll win your wife. That easy. Is that easy? That's why. No. I remember when I was pregnant. So for that like we search for so much and I can't forget >> because when you want you want it but for me that is experience that is a feeling people often forget what you did >> but don't forget how you made them feel
(1:03:57) it all about life comes with the feelings I feel Good. >> I feel money. Chap. >> I have money. I bought this. >> I feel good. >> I feel happy. Happy is a feeling. You did this. I got angry. Feeling. So this all things all around comes in the emotions. So you life is operating through emotions. Emotional management is the key in the relationships.
(1:04:30) That's what I would love to tell. But you know wife and husband they're trying to figure out everything and they have children. >> So figuring out all the fights what does it do to the children? Yeah, this is again awareness one thing is fights fights is a correct word always difference of opinions what you are fighting for it is not right is Okay.
(1:05:13) Stinking and why she says that you are not acknowledging. Go and take your out because from so long I was doing. You are not noticing that. See that she became a mother now. So that's how you need to know. You should you should sit and sort it out whether we are ready for children. your unresolved,
(1:06:05) fights, traumas will come into picture what you are giving as a legacy >> and this will continue. So you need to resolve it at the same time sit and counel rules we don't shout >> we will be what are the things you need to sit and write because already they're learning at home and social media is teaching something.
(1:06:43) So [snorts] single child, single mother, single father be clear. Are you ready really to handle how you handle children but sit it's nothing difficult one thing it's not so difficult only thing have a patience and sit and talk conversation always minimize your uh controversies
(1:07:29) complications communication and situ communication with communication But mental health mental [clears throat] health what they are picking up you don't know father. So father
(1:08:15) because his concentration is full. So aggressive. So boy next at the same time toxic relationship they come from that backgroundies but young parent watching this simple be aware of your behavior Your behavior is not only affecting your
(1:09:02) life. Your behavior is affecting your partner, your behavior is uh if you have a children, their life too. So be aware what you're doing. Be I can say in now present trending word be organic. >> Be organic. Yeah, I love how you're so jenzycoded [laughter] >> because that's what I told you know like millennial organic organic words.
(1:09:36) Um you are very clear of your views. We are anxious. We are emotionally toxic now. We want therapy. We want me time. You are very clear that that words we are unaware. We don't know how to put our feelings uh in words. So you guys know so I'm very thankful to this Janzi that you taught us how to how we have to express our feelings, how we should keep our boundaries, how we were insisted to follow the society conditions, not saying no and to please somebody even keeping your selfworth happiness at the
(1:10:24) stake. So now you taught us to choose you first before you do something to others. So I would love to thank Jenzi but at the same time you have absolute fantastic knowledge but execution. >> You are anxious, you are unhealed, you are this, you are traumatized, you are this but now work on that. But to work on that it needs action.
(1:10:54) action is lacking. >> True. >> Second is for the for the betterment. You are not doing action for the victimization card. You are throwing and you are going into using a substance use. You are taking a help of some uh substances, drugs, weed, alcohol, uh uh girls changing that is giving instant kick.
(1:11:22) for that instant kick that you are like choosing but your ADHD will happen that you are not satisfied with this we're not this we're not this and any kind of intensity intensity then you become emotionally immune >> what you are telling you are like hurt you got hurt you are unhealed but you are what you doing to yourself when you got everything in your we were not we didn't had but when you had you fought for this you fought for the right do good do best take the control >> but do best things for your life we surrender we learn from you guys that's
(1:12:07) what I tell it's nothing to do with experience useless Millennial. No, it is not about the experience. It is how much you are aware of your life. How much clear that beautifully what they are telling they are teaching that beautifully to live life to experience every kind of a feeling. But we are not living the life which we want.
(1:12:42) We are living the life which social media want. What the other society want. Everything is happening for something. live for yourself. Now you are also getting into the trap. You are also saying no like go and work for that and get it done. >> Yes. Yeah. >> When you challenge millennials about trauma so much of things we also talk about trauma and all things when we have
(1:13:27) a full plate. We didn't never had a full plate. We have to go and sow and reap. You are hunger, you are then you will hit your child. So much of drama. Everyone has their own story. Darling. So here you need to understand the story. Why this person is behaving like that? Let me listen his story. When you listen the story, let me tell you this girl.
(1:14:21) Rest girl 50 best boy. This boy has some heart disease. something see your perceptions are changing according to the conditions are so very much different you can't generalize millennials you can't generalize jenjis bad no jes are creating I I'm extremely proud of you today sitting here and giving this podcast to you
(1:15:05) >> so sensible questions so every every story is so different it's about the perception mindset they are coming from so you just respect and movies. Go for it. Review it. Learn from it. Discard. Unlearn. Come back. >> What you become is not only learning some things unlearning. >> Makes you actually very clear in your decisions.
(1:15:39) So this is how always what I love to tell is don't try to three things in life. I love to tell don't complain, don't blame, don't show that you are victimized. >> And these three is one part one only one word I would love to tell. Take responsibility of your own life. >> Then you operate from own authority. I will take over it. You depend na this n what door this that when you go alone tuck tuck you go you will be okay because you chose
(1:16:28) why you I used to do that's why I'm telling this example why this is late no I want to go if now I go that indigo flight is 2 hours late what the hell you'll do if dad is there I would have been depended on I used to do like that. So now I operate when you take the responsibility you try to enjoy that gap >> you learn.
(1:16:52) So that's how take the responsibility and the best part in life is be grateful to the life what you have. Be grateful to the life what you have. Gratitude is the space where from where if you operate uh today I'm so grateful that both of our mics are working or something power didn't go something that even the chip didn't finish battery didn't finish and it is coming so uh undisturbed right like car everything so grateful sometime because of this you don't know the value when you have it
(1:17:36) >> so be grateful when you are grateful full abundance mindset from there when you ask universe you'll get everything >> when you ask from the scarcity I am this I am pap I am unlucky I am don't have this even though you have a number of things you're not noticing >> so you will be operating from that mindset only >> but lastly I I want you to bust relationships generation partner.
(1:18:21) So that one drama that stop that drama. So I want you to don't become that uh now stop that especially because when you do that that opposite person will go into a rigid thing two people are right how I would know. So start communicating and uh whatever you communicate is not a problem. The topic is not the problem. How you say is a problem.
(1:18:54) >> What you say is not at all a problem. So how you say articulate uh learn art of communication learn. So when you think that sensibly little take a step back pause breathe and then tell like is it necessary to ask to say hypothe uh disasters will happen. So with pause so many things can really come into your
(1:19:38) way. So uh that's a myth in uh sorry to disappoint you guys uh but one thing I can tell only only you can love yourself abundantly. When you love yourself abundantly and when you are so proud of you what you are what you become then automatically you are the reflection to the society you are the mirror.
(1:20:03) So when you love yourself there is no chance that people has to love you. People has to respect you when you love when you like when you respect. So build your selfimage selfworth self validation if you say that I know like two people you're not good. So you should know that you are looking beautiful or not. So nobody's validation is not needed.
(1:20:32) some like didn't come it doesn't mean you are not beautiful. So you posting for somebody's validation and you are looking for their validation you spoil your own mood. >> Yeah. So don't operate from that. I always feel like self self love is the key that uh uh learnings is the second key and emotional uh management you shouldn't know how to uh uh channelize your emotions nicely.
(1:21:10) Uh it is not at all that you shouldn't express your emotions but don't suppress 100%. If you suppress it should it will be a uh lead to a depression. But if you express in such a way it should have something like to say I feel hurt. I am not hurt. I feel feeling is feelings go. Feelings come and go. It go. It will go.
(1:21:48) So I am I am angry. Okay. So you see your emotion and you as a different thing. Now you talk to why you are angry. Criticized. >> What did he say? Or she said criticized. Adidama kadu disc this card you are a vegetarian you got something in the non-vegetarian you will you eat take it off why you are creating a mess that like I got in the non-vegetarian or we can say I'm a vegetarian I was like a mess so that's how you need to like see when you see look this life as a simple it is extremely simple often we complicate
(1:22:34) Yes sir. Yes. >> True. >> Yes. [laughter] >> That's amazing. Thank you for such an insightful conversation ma'am. Thank you so much for being with us on Anans. I don't know what exactly you wanted what I told but I told from my point of view my experience my learnings my observations in counselings what like people come and say how I feel how I dealt in my life so many challenges in my life how I narrate to my mind how I see life in that way and such a disaster uh full of challenges life how I can like say these words this simply because I I
(1:23:17) started operating from that challen that scene and that space and I'm feeling so good so freedom so that's why I said like this much easily I'm telling that don't think like ah easy gadu no it's easy if you think it's a hard if you think >> so that >> that's amazing thank you so much ma'am >> thank you magna and I wish a lot of good luck to you and more power to you and uh I asked you the first thing like what actually your goal the goal which you shared with me to reach to Jenzi about giving the full correct insights about
(1:23:57) the uh world affairs current affairs I loved it guys keep following unscripted with me because she's all unscripted uh this is nothing manipulated out there like nothing anything it's all on the raw So just keep following and keep encouraging and uh suggest to whom you want more to learn with.
(1:24:19) She's ready to serve here. >> Thank you ma'am. Thank you so much. >> Thank you so very much Magna. [music]
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