Stop doing this 10 things to be happy 🌹unnecessary 10 🌹kanthrisa

Stop doing this 10 things to be happy 🌹unnecessary 10 🌹kanthrisa

Author Name:kanthrisa wisdom

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@kanthrisawisdom

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYxKiq9qVXc



Transcript:
(00:12) So welcome to Kandisa wisdom. So this is the most uh important aspect of life. Every [snorts] individual should think about it at least once in lifetime and also should come to a conclusion what are those 10 unnecessary things. It's not just 10 but there are few but since we are doing a podcast we are confining ourself to 10 aspects.
(00:39) So most of us think happiness comes from adding things to life. more money, more jewelry, more gold, more success, more recognition. But many a times we have forgotten that happiness does not come from adding things to life but actually remove things from our life. Then you become feather-like. So one of the greatest uh philosophers Socrates said the secret is of happiness sorry the secret of happiness you see is not found in seeking more but in developing the capacity to enjoy what
(01:25) you have. So first look around and enjoy what you have. You have a good body, you have eyes, you have senses, you have your home, you have one or two people with you. must c just celebrate them first rather than going after something what you don't have. So the topic today's topic is uh 10 unnecessary things one must stop doing to live a happy life.
(01:57) >> The first and foremost thing we have discussed and every enlightened man or every spiritual guru says all these things. It is not that what everybody has been saying what is important is whether we are trying to understand it or not we are trying to implement those aspect in our life or not is important.
(02:22) So the first aspect stop comparing yourself with others I might have said this million times [laughter] again I'm saying because this is very important. You may be having a good home. You may be having great skill but you don't you have this bad habit of comparing yourself with others. Initially that that boosts your life but by and by by and by it destroys your life.
(02:50) But uh human being is unaware of his psychology. The first and foremost thing is stop comparing yourself with others. So comparison is one of the biggest happiness killers. It gives happiness. [laughter] So we compare our salary, our looks, our lifestyle. Even our children, we compare our children with somebody else's children. See, he's studying good.
(03:13) Look at him. Look at that. So you are actually not helping the kid. You are throwing him that kid into many many infatic complexes with those he he has to deal and suffer in the future. So remember comparison is the thief of joy is said by Theodor Roosevelt. He said comparison is the thief of joy. It will steal joy from you.
(03:43) So your life is a journey not comparison. Journey means you are going in a car. Maybe you are going on Luna towards Arnachala. So someone is going very fast in Benja. Don't compare yourself your vehicle with that bench car. If you try to go fast, you may get killed. So that is bench car. It has its own body condition.
(04:09) It has a good engine capacity. Let him go. You go on your speed. No comparison. So he also reaches Arunachal. You also reach Arunachal. But it doesn't matter who reaches first and who reaches second. So comparison means first, second, third, you are somewhere in the middle. If you are not coming first then you try to come first.
(04:36) If you come first then you try to uh be there long time that creates stress. Okay. The moment you stop comparing you start living. So to live a happy life don't compare. The first aspect. The second aspect which everyone has more or less that stop trying to impress others. >> You wear a good dress. For what? To impress others. >> You you behave in a certain way.
(05:09) For what? To impress others. So many people live not for themselves but for others approval. So don't try to seek the approval of others. If they say you are good, it doesn't mean that you are good. If say someone say you are bad, it doesn't mean that you are bad. You should know what you are rather than depending upon someone else's approval and statement.
(05:36) Just know what you are. And we buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like. For example, we go to marriage. 99% of the people who attend the marriage we don't know but we behave in a certain way to impress others with our looks uh with our attitude with our uh verbim with our every act we do and if you really question you are actually losing your your your your energy.
(06:12) So don't try to impress anybody. This is trying to impress somebody is like you are carrying a big heavy rock on your head. So one of the greatest philosopher Lawatu said care about what other people think and you will always be the prisoner. For example, you are your life is depend upon someone else's you know approval.
(06:40) It means you are in a cage already. You are not free. If someone said um you are not looking good, you should say see I'm comfortable with myself. You may not like my dress but I'm okay with it. See I'm not saying your dress is not good. So you take care of yourself. I take care of myself. Okay let's go to marriage. So initially people may take you wrong but if you stick to this particular thing you don't compare you don't uh uh give approval to anybody if someone come get dressed you should never say the dress is good dress is bad just it is
(07:17) their dress so you stop you know offering approvals then the other also do the same. So if you stop trying to impress everybody the others then you start living authentically the originality originates within. So this is the second aspect stop impressing. The third this is the most important stop holding grudges.
(07:53) So anger and resentment are like carrying hot coal in your hand hoping to throw it at somebody else. It's very simple analogy. So you are holding a coal and it is already uh burning your hand. Your intention is to throw it on somebody but it it burnt you. So holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It never happens.
(08:25) So grudge in any way is not good. Grudge means a person is not in front of you but he has done something to you and you felt very bad and you take it very seriously. You kept on thinking about it in order to do something in the future but you already destroying yourself. So grudge kills you whether you kill the other or not, whether you destroy the other or not, whether you taught a lesson to the other or not, but you are already getting destroyed minute by minute.
(08:54) Okay? You deserve peace, not a grudge. That's why the third most important thing is stop, you know, holding grudges. And the fourth one is very important. Everyone does that. Stop overthinking about everything. This is a very bad habit. Whenever you sit alone, you start thinking. Thinking is different.
(09:21) Overthinking means you you got 100 thoughts. For example, in those 100 thoughts, you picked one thought and you kept on thinking about that particular thought is overthinking. For example, a mother is thinking about his kid. She has many um uh many things to think. But she chose one particular thing. So from morning to night she was only thinking about her son.
(09:47) How is he whether he yet or not? So it is the 1:00 he he did not call me what exactly doing his right. Someone came and he said you're talking about your son and you went to movie. You are not watching movie. You're thinking about son. You kept on thinking about one thing. Just like chewing bubble gum. You kept on chewing but you are not getting any juice out of it.
(10:10) So most of our problems are not real problems. They are imaginary problems created by overthinking. If you start thinking more and more you're actually creating a a balloon of imaginations and one day it is going to burst you not the other. So never think about other too much. Never think about anything too much.
(10:36) So Mark Twain humorously said, "I have many troubles in my life. Most of us, most of which never happened." Very beautiful. Let me repeat the statement. I have had many troubles in my life. He's saying I had I have had many problems in my life. Troubles in my life. Most of which never happened. It's like I have many problems but they are not problems at all.
(11:05) It means you are imagining about somebody. You are imagining about something. Something may go wrong. You start imagining about it. You are not trying to find a solution. You are only sitting idly and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking. The thinking mind stinks. [snorts] Bad smell.
(11:27) So a calm mind is a happy mind. A thinking mind is a monkey mind. A overthinking mind is a madman's mind. The result is zero. A person thinks overly he's not going to get anywhere. He destroys his life for sure. He also destroys everybody's life. The ambiencece, the harmony. So stay calm.
(11:59) The fourth important aspect is stop overthinking. And the fifth important aspect, stop trying to control everything. You cannot control anybody. You don't have capacity to control anybody. Only people like Hitler and Musolini or any uh that kind of ruler, tyrants, they have power, they have guns. Because of that reason they they control others and the other person also have some benefit they are going to get some benefit through these people that is obligation and they also listen to the but they are not really listening.
(12:40) So we should not control anybody. So life cannot be controlled but it can be experienced they say and it's a fact. How can you control your heartbeat? How can you control your metabolism? How can you control your age? How can you control your You can't even control your hair fall. How can you control the other? Impossible.
(13:07) Accept as they are. It's okay. So experience life rather than trying to control life. We suffer because we want everything to happen according to our plan. That won't happen. All greatest things are done because not much plan taken place. They kept on doing something. Something came up. They uh adopted it and they have understood what it is.
(13:41) In that sense they continuously worked for years that something great happened. You cannot plan success. Success should come. You cannot plan health. Health will come. Just eat the good food. You cannot plan for happiness. It won't happen. Just stop thinking about others. They started being happy. So Bhagat Gita says that you have a right to perform your duty but not to the fruits of your actions.
(14:14) Same it means you you are not here to control the result. You may paint but you cannot control the buyer. You may create make a movie but you cannot control the audience. You have to say that movie is good otherwise I'll kill you. So how far you can control the person who is trying to control is actually the slave of the masses.
(14:39) He's not the leader. So that is a weakness. So do your best and then relax. Don't control it is very important. And the sixth aspect is stop living in the past. Everyone lives in the past. It is gone. It is non-existential. Only past exist because of your memory. Just imagine you met with an accident and after 5 years you recollect because you have that information in your mind.
(15:23) So you cannot get rid of the information but at the most you can ignore the information. The way we ignore uh broomstick in the bathroom we ignore it. A small creature is walking around, scroll strolling around. We ignore it. You don't take it that seriously. You see it, you look at it, but you are actually ignoring it.
(15:47) You are not thinking about it. You are not trying to control it. You are not talking about it. You are not giving any complaint to any police station. You ignored it. Just put the man in the same place. He [clears throat] is also a creature, a big creature with two hands and two legs, one nose and some stability. So don't live in the past.
(16:09) So many people are physically in the present. Physically the body is always in the present but mentally stuck in the past. Past means regrets, thinking about old mistakes, nostalgia, thinking about our our f our failures. But life always happens in the present. Many people are saying, great masters have said and present masters also saying this in all astitution for what? Being in the present.
(16:41) Yoga is means what? Being in the present. Puja doing performing puja is what? Being in the present. What is worship? Being in the present. What is trekking? Being in the present. Money. >> Money. Japa tapa all being in the present. I thought it is money. [laughter] See one gesture and two meanings. >> Then you have to this is money.
(17:05) >> This is Japa. [laughter] I have closed my eyes right. So stop living in the past. Ehart told recently we have done a podcast the power of now. He says that realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. For example, if someone asks what what all you have, you say I have this present moment. I don't have anything else.
(17:31) This present moment also have many things and you all enjoy. For for example, I have this present moment. The present moment is showing me you so that I am living with you. If you are not there, still the present moment is there. If I am in the forest, with the present moment I'm enjoying the forest. So focus on this present moment.
(17:53) You are the present moment. Not that you are living in the present moment. That is the language. So drop the past. It has nothing new to offer to you. It is all rotten. It's like 10 days 10 days before food [laughter] you are keeping in front of you and looking at it. And seventh important aspect is stop complaining all the time.
(18:23) He is not good. The government is not good. Roads are bad. He's not listening to me. No one is correct. This movie is very bad. You are just complaining, complaining, complaining, complaining. Don't do that. And complaining has become nowadays after YouTube revolution it became a modern lifestyle a new normal all YouTube channels what are they doing complaining complaining complaining they are not saying what they are they are not saying what they are doing they are only complaining you did this it is wrong it is right come to me I'll kick
(18:58) your ass and all that [clears throat] we complain about what about weather about traffic about person about government about family about job everything you complain. So what is life? Full of complaints. What are you a complaint box? [laughter] The thing is complaining does not change anything. If you really want to change, stop complaining.
(19:29) For example, you say TV is not working good. You are complaining after 10 days TV is not working. You are complaining or you are saying my kid is not listening to me. is you are complaining. You are complaining after 10 years you are complaining but you never try to change that person to change you should stop complaining.
(19:50) So there are two ways a person who give complaint the other person who corrects the complaint. Be that second person don't be this first person only you are complaining the room is not complaining again tomorrow the room is not complaining or go and clean the room or don't complain both are okay. So instead of complaining either improve the situation or accept it [snorts] and the most important thing gratitude brings happiness and complaints bring misery.
(20:26) Whosoever in the world who is complaining all the time they are living a miserable life. Period. Misery is not somewhere. It is within the the perception, the attitude, the misunderstanding, the miscalculation, the the the the lack of gratitude, lack of thankfulness, lack, lack of accepting, acceptance, all these things is actually sadness.
(20:55) So don't complain. And eighth this is a very this is actually uh not everyone does but few people have this problem that is stop chasing perfection. They want everything to be perfect and they have no idea what perfection is. According to them perfection means how they have thought in that way that should be done that is perfection.
(21:20) For example, a mother says that this this should be like this. And she's thinking this is perfect. And son comes, he puts like this. And she says, "Why did you put like this? It should be here like this." No, this is also okay mom. No, this is not okay. How many times I told you put like this? This is perfect.
(21:37) And mother's son says this is also perfect. Then game began. Nobody knows what perfection is. So perfection perfectionism looks good from outside but inside it creates constant stress because I worked with few people they are perfectionists and I I I I I prayed only one thing the only reason I am working with these people because I don't have money and I don't have any other option I pray to nature that whenever I get the opportunity to work somewhere I leave these people because they are so uh Um so so much stuck in this idea of perfection. This should be like this
(22:18) only. This should be like this only. No no no no that is not correct. How many times I told you be like this be like that. For example YouTube channel we are running. We never thought of perfection. See perfection means why did you put the camera like that? Keep it above. How many times I told you the camera should be horizontal eye level.
(22:36) It is the 10th time I'm telling you. Remove that video. Perfection. Perfection means stress. >> If whatsoever I said and you followed it, I feel happy. But the other person is suffering. [laughter] So there is no perfection is there that should happen naturally. A flower is perfect. >> It is out of effortlessness that so even our videos are so perfect because we are not working hard.
(23:04) Okay. So accept your imperfections. Tomorrow we talk about one important concept. It's called visiab. Have you ever heard about it? >> Mhm. >> Vabby sabi means accept that I you have imperfections. That is joy. >> Viab. If I have two ducks in the future, the names would be and sabi because the imperfection is good.
(23:38) So there is one famous there is a crack in everything that's how the lights getting for example we see light the light is coming into home do you know why >> no >> the wall is not perfect [laughter] have a little crack so don't chase perfection and ninth. Okay, I I'll say rather than 10, I'll only conclude with nine.
(24:19) [snorts] Stop postponing happiness. I have seen postponing happiness. >> There are many people. So if I buy new home, what about now? [laughter] So what about now? >> Now what is happening right now? >> So the biggest mistake people make is thinking I will be happy when when I get a job, when I get married, when I buy a new house, when I retire that what happen? Happiness means right now.
(24:56) But happiness is not something which happens in the future. Even in the happen the future that is also present moment. So you cannot plan happiness. Accept whatsoever you have. Suddenly there is happiness. For example, we enjoy kids because we accept them. Kid comes and he pours dough on his head and claps.
(25:17) [applause] >> Mhm. >> We like it. If the same thing done by a intimate girl, everyone screams at that girl because already we came to a conclusion that small kids can do mistakes but not the elderly kids. Why can't elderly kids also make mistakes? There's nothing wrong. Okay, there is one beautiful uh story story. So what is the secret of happiness? Um, a king asked to a monk and the monk replies, "When I sit, I sit.
(25:54) When I eat, I eat. When I sleep, I sleep. When I walk, I walk. This is the secret of my happiness." And immediately the the king questioned. Everyone does that. And the monk says, "No, not everyone does this. When you sit, you think about walking. When you sleep, you think about your wife. When you are in front of your wife, you think about your neighbor.
(26:36) >> You are not really doing what you are thinking. You are doing something. You are thinking something. That's why you are not happy." For example, I felt like walking. Now I walk. That's what a kid does. There is no gap between what he's thinking and what he's doing. That is happiness. It doesn't mean that you wanted to kill somebody and you have killed.
(27:03) Don't take it in the wrong way. That's why every statement should be understood in the right way. So these uh nine aspects we have just said I'll just repeat all of them. You also repeat these nine unnecessary habits don't compare >> these nine unnecessary habits. Don't compare. >> First one don't compare. >> First one don't compare.
(27:31) >> Don't try to please people. >> Second don't try to >> please people. Please, >> please means don't try to seek approval. >> Don't try to >> and don't have any grudges. >> Don't have any grudges. >> Don't overthink. >> Don't overthink. >> Don't control. >> Don't control. >> Don't think about past. >> Don't think about past.
(27:52) >> Don't complain. >> Don't complain. >> Don't try to be too much perfect. >> Don't try to to Don't try to >> be perfect. >> be perfect. >> Don't postpone happiness. >> Don't postpone happiness. M. So these are the simple things anybody can do. >> M >> but I am only requesting stop thinking about them. Do it again.
(28:16) Don't don't talk about it. Ah it's a very good idea. You should not compare with anybody. Very nice. Very nice. [laughter] He said it's very no simple things but very profound. It doesn't matter how many world riches one have but these are the most important things one should have one should experience one should abide by one should live one should breathe all these things your person what did you understand your life about your life now you can simply authentically say that I have understood what life is very simple sir I don't compare
(28:57) this is what life taught me I don't complain this is what life taught me. I don't live in the past or future. This is what life taught me. That's why I'm living right now because I am not comparing. I'm not complaining. I'm not thinking of the past. I'm not overthinking. I'm not taking any sides. I'm unbiased.
(29:16) I'm not postponing anything. This is called life. The purest form of living. Whether you accept it or not, this is a statement which is applicable for to everybody on planet earth. This is not religious or countrycentric. This is for everybody. A person who is living in Paris if he is comparing he can he's not experiencing life. He's experiencing mind.
(29:48) No comparison means no mind. Now anybody can apply this and see whether they are right or wrong rather than being judgmental. The talk is good, the talk is bad, he spoke English very badly, all that. Okay. But at least these nine words anyone can put it on paper and see whether they really have any meaning in it or not.
(30:13) I personally say all these things I don't have. I don't compare. I don't complain. I accept things as they are. I'm not a perfectionist. just watch my YouTube you understand and I don't live in the past I always do video right now and we just upload it and I don't have any grudges I don't have any enemity with anybody so all these things creates life simple okay