India’s top detective reveals the most shocking marriage scandals

India’s top detective reveals the most shocking marriage scandals

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Transcript:
(00:00) Rich people cheat more. I don't agree. Rich [music] have a better way of hiding it. Today on ask the expert, we have got India's youngest female detective, Tanya Buri. >> One of the husbands came to us and again he has a doubt on his wife. We saw that she would go to a hotel very regularly with this other man.
(00:17) When they did come down, it was his own brother. While he was stalking your ex's new girlfriend, she's busy catching country's most sophisticated marriage scammers. this uh woman who came to us. She had been with this boy for about 5 6 [music] years. So then over time we got to know that every evening he was meeting many different women.
(00:37) He was [music] actually an escort. >> Yeah. >> Why is that happening? >> I mean it might be difficult to digest but as a pattern she has been featured on BBC World Mary Cla the Telegraph India today. Basically your life could go international. The husband came [music] mother-in-law attitude. We find out the boy's father and the girl's mother were both involved.
(01:00) >> Oh, Bangalore has [music] the highest rate of people cheating on their partners at their workplace specifically Mumbai, Delhi, [music] all of them. >> So, if you're hiding secrets this Shadi season, better hope she's not on the guest list. >> I'll tell you how to spot things that may actually be red flags.
(01:21) Scooby as a child that cartoon inspired you to become a private investigator. I wish but it was actually my father. I had a real life detective at home. He never pushed me to go ahead in any direction but eventually I think around 11th grade I figured that I want to get into it.
(01:42) So what genuine question that when do people hire a private investigator? Apart from when they have a doubt on their partner and what for. >> In relationships when people have been together for many years the one thing they want to obviously know is whether they're involved with somebody or not. But now the trend has changed. Families especially they want to know about the finances about education about lifestyle.
(02:07) lifestyle but now they want to really know habits and you know do we align in there I'll tell you a very interesting case a boy's family [music] came and they said that the girl was from a very reputed family and well educated and the boy's father he just wanted to check basic background verification and we actually figured figured out that that girl [music] and her family they were not actually made a family.
(02:40) >> What? >> Yeah. They were con artists and they had been doing it since many many years. >> Is this a real thing in India? >> It is. And um you know that girl that the father, the mother, they were all fake and all that they would do is they would want to get married and you know relationship and eventually gifts exchange.
(03:02) You know how somebody would say that, "Oh, you're the daughter-in-law, so we'll get you this, that." So, she would collect all of that through multiple people and then 2 weeks before the wedding, she she would call it off. It was a well-laidout plan, multiple cities and we found that about her and we informed the boy's family or time obviously they abandoned the you know relationship it didn't go forward.
(03:24) They were just very thankful. How do you came to know about these guys are con artists? We are professionals right? We've been in this industry for so long. We have teams all over India. So when we started monitoring our outdoor activities, we saw that all that she had [music] said to Jud, we started connecting the dots and we reached that point.
(03:47) We did a lot of inquiry and background check on her and her supposed family members. So we got to know a lot of factors from there. Also, I'll tell you how to spot things that may actually be red flags. I mean, which a lot of people miss. One of them is inconsistent stories. and then you connected it to some other instance [music] you know eventually if they're extremely private about their phones that's [music] something that causes a suspicion in a person's mind and they would think that you know why so much privacy it's okay to have
(04:20) individual lifestyles it's okay to have different lives from each other but you cannot totally disregard the other person in your life and hide everything from them and their behavior is very inconsistent [music] with you. Let's say they were the kind you know because the switch doesn't happen so fast or on the opposite side if they have started to pro probably you know take care of themselves way too much than they would earlier.
(04:53) They have [music] started dressing up different. They have started talking different. They have started spending too much time in the gym. that happens >> is that a sign >> it is because it's inconsistent in the way you know something that flows naturally or is a discussion that's completely different thing but it is one of the things that one must not ignore how much would you how many hours can you spend in the gym you may you know if you're fitness obsessed since the beginning great if it is something that's always interested you great but
(05:22) if it's a sudden switch then that's one thing you need to look out for >> uh he consulted a doctor [laughter] So that someone was too good to be and the life was sort of messy. There is a case that we did very recently. In fact, a girl's family, she was getting married into a big joint family.
(05:42) They were not even financially as strong as the girl's family. But uh they met through one of these websites. They started talking and uh the girl told her mother about it. The mother was extremely forthcoming about it. You know, you would think that parents would be more vigilant. they would be more conscious of it and they would think that [music] same economic background.
(06:05) But then eventually we got to know through a lot of investigation over time that the girl and her stepfather he was not her real father they were involved with each other. What? And the mother knew about it all along and the mother wanted the girl to get out of the house as soon as possible. She was the daughter from her first husband who was no more [music] and he was the second one and uh they had a relationship going well behind the scenes but the mother got to know.
(06:34) She never confronted the daughter. She never confronted her husband but she got to know. We say women have six sense and then their intuition is so strong and still women are fooled so much by men right in but still in a relationship they are blinded by love. Women also want to sometimes give more chances, save their relationships.
(06:58) A lot of people they come to us, they find out the truth and they still don't give up on relationships. [music] You know, I'll tell you about this uh woman who came to us uh premarital kiss and you know she had been with this boy for about 5 6 years. So it was a love marriage and she they introduced the parents. Everything was going well but she just wanted to do a basic check again on him to see if everything is all right.
(07:20) there is nothing that he's hiding you know and we monitored his outdoor daily activities and over time we got to know that while everything was okay during the day [music] he was he was absolutely going to the job that he says he works for he's coming back home every evening about late at night in fact he would leave home he would tell his parents that he is going to meet the girl but he would never go meet the girl he was actually meeting many different women he was actually like an escort for women he would go and we had to put an undercover
(07:51) in this case because we told the girl that nothing as such is coming out. We just see that he's meeting a different girl. Every day he's meeting somebody else. So there is something fishy because if he was involved with just one girl [music] it would have been different. And we found out that he was actually an escort.
(08:07) >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. So >> she stayed. >> She stayed. >> What? And I'll tell you why she stayed. because the guy said that I was doing this because I have a lot of debt to pay and she said no but I will help him out through this [music] he'll change and she stayed so there are a lot of second chances that are given there's a lot of belief that somebody can change or I will help this person change [music] and unfortunately that's why this happens so do you have any other story where women stayed >> there was a girl uh who had gotten
(08:37) married to this guy they were already married and she had a doubt that he has an affair eventually we got to know that He was visiting spas almost every second day and the kind of spa where you know he would meet different women. He would take them home. He had another home in the same city apart from the one where his wife was.
(08:57) The wife actually caught him. He said a story. He said that I wasn't involved with anybody. I did not even have sex with somebody. I just felt like cuddling with girls and I you know this is just >> Yeah. [laughter] >> So he said I just wanted to cuddle with them. He narrated so many different experiences in their lives where he felt like emotionally it was tough for him.
(09:17) So he just looked out because and he said I never told you because I think you never understand which was >> utter lies. All of that was all of that was utter lie. And in fact when she caught him he was caught naked with another woman in the house. So I don't know how that amounts to cuddling but well it was >> yeah she gave him a chance because she >> after >> yeah they have a child together now >> what is something that people have always felt somehow men gave the second chance to women >> I'd have to think about it which tells
(09:54) so much about how relationships are but >> so one of the husbands came to us and again he has a doubt on his life because she has been spending a lot of time outside home. She was not working. Uh she was a homemaker yet she would leave home and not come back for about 7 8 9 hours sometimes.
(10:12) He just doubted that she was involved with somebody who's an outsider. Eventually uh we monitored her activities. We saw that she would go to a hotel very regularly with this other man. And one day we told the husband and we said you know you can come and catch them red-handed. Why don't you? He took another room so he could wait at the hotel lobby.
(10:30) And when they did come down, it was his own brother. >> What? >> Yeah. So, she was involved with her brother-in-law. >> And all of this, they just kept quiet through the years. And they're still together because family image. So, it never came out in front of many, many people. There was no divorce, nothing. Nothing happened. >> No, they're just in a relationship where she is actually perhaps still involved with the brother-in-law.
(10:56) Who knows? But they're not divorced yet. They're still living together. So the man gave that chance because I think he wanted to protect the societal image of this perfect couple and a perfect family because a well-known family in the city. >> Why is that happening? >> I mean it might be difficult to digest but as a pattern you know people stray a lot when they feel dissatisfied with their partner.
(11:18) Now that is not an explanation to cheating but that's the pattern you know either it is physically or emotionally and emotional cheating comes first always. [music] So I feel that when they don't really get uh that you know feeling with their partner anymore where they feel understood or they feel like I'm not getting my due as a partner a lot of people [music] stray out and that's the unfortunate reality we're in right now which is why a lot of people are doing it at their workplaces spending more hours with their colleagues rather than
(11:45) people at home because of their nature of work. So you know hospitality industry aviation it's happening where a lot of people get more opportunities more time that's why they cheat you know >> so do you think a lot of affairs starts at the workplace >> a pattern says yes a lot of them do uh workplace affairs are fairly common especially in you know big cities it happens [music] >> big cities like >> Bangalore Bangalore has the highest rate of people cheating on their partners at their workplace specifically Mumbai
(12:17) Delhi all of There have been cases where you know the husband was involved with his own assistant and the wife said okay I am going to talk to him about it. I'm going to make sure [music] that the girl is thrown out of the company because it was his own work and she was and she was moved to another city.
(12:34) But when we got to know that in another city he had a child with her and he never had a child with this wife [music] because he said that I don't want to have children you know. So the wife gave into that and the wife was okay despite her wanting children but she said it's okay like you know we can still live happily together without children but he actually had a child and a full life in another city investig 10 20 people less but spend that money on getting investigation done because eventually postmarital cases and you know it can break somebody's
(13:20) faith in the concept of marriage. It's not that in fact it's a very empowering thing to know the truth because you'd assess these things over time. meetings. Go have coffee with them. Go shop with them. Go see what they do, how they do it. Maybe there's somebody you'll be okay getting married to somebody like that.
(14:02) That is also black money. These are things concept institution. There is no problem. I've been happily married for about 9 years and I feel that it should only um strengthen your trust in the institution that having the right partner actually makes your life better right so I mean I feel it feels sad but I'm still glad that information rather than you know keep them in the dark celebrities cheat a lot >> every third person is cheating in the industry is that true >> yes >> yeah I feel that cheating as a concept
(14:42) has increased overall Bollywood under the radar and I feel like Bollywood cases where people have open marriages where people are going behind people's back and doing what they're doing yet they have a power image to maintain. Also their working hours are extremely long. They go for these outdoor shoots and they're always spending time with other people that they end up having these adjustments.
(15:10) She'll have a different life, he'll have a different life, but they know what's happening. There was um an actress who's very popular, known to be very bubbly and you know cheerful and uh she's involved with somebody uh who is not from the industry and they're together. They've been together for very long and people consider them such a sweet couple.
(15:30) There's a lot going on behind in her life. She does a lot of these events. She'll go for events and she'll do public appearances actually hotel room one-on-one, you know, but she is into that kind of a business where she makes all that money from that. All the great bags, the shoes, everything she has, it all comes from there.
(15:55) He knows all about it because he is a part of this entire business [music] and the events that are happening. He's a very big contributor in that. My god, this is shocking like what is then marriage about? I think for them marriage is less about you know the feelings and it is just an institution that they get into for their parents or for the society again it was from a high-profile family wife that husband [music] he was a 65year-old man and that girl was 32 he got into it because he felt very loyal towards her. She was a
(16:39) very attractive looking, very prettyl looking girl and she had made a lot of private videos with him that she threatened to share with everybody, [music] you know, on Instagram and on to his family and he had to give a lot of his wealth that he had accumulated and some shares in his company to her name. [music] So that happened and we got to know that eventually because undercover case >> not me but my team sometimes has become vegetable vendors really >> they have we had a case where the wife came to us she felt that the husband was
(17:25) involved with her maid at [music] home she There's something my investigator had to become a vegetable vendor because you know we had to observe we couldn't stand there for too long just like that became a part of the entire community because so that's what she did for very long and What we found out was that he was actually involved with her and they would go out so often.
(18:05) They would go to different hotels also with the maid. >> Yeah. [music] He would say office. So that [music] was there you know. So we have taken a different garb a lot of times. My team has I have heard this rich people cheat more. I don't agree. I feel that it depends on the mindset. So if your mindset says you can cheat whether you're rich or poor you cheat.
(18:27) Rich have a better way of hiding [music] it. They have more ways to hide it seamlessly into their lives rather than the poor because opportunities. You know, one of the CEO of a company um he actually bought a house right in front of his building to for his ex executive assistant and they had a full-blown relationship.
(18:51) The wife caught them as well. All under wraps because the husband said that here take this XYZ diamond sets, take this money, [music] take my cards, but do not blurt it out, you know. So, it never came in front of anybody because he had the resources to hide it. >> More probability in the rich because [music] of that cuz they're more confident they can hide it.
(19:11) >> But public image is important of course. So if you if someone wants to hire a private investigator for prematimmonial postmatial cost to hire a private investigator >> see it could start anywhere from 25,000 go up to 6 6 and 1/2 lakhs it depends on what you're getting done how much team you know is required for that um what is the time period that will be taken for the same so those are the factors >> what are the equipments you use >> I can't share all the equipments that we use uh but I think the one most
(19:43) important that people usually don't even realize is a smartphone. >> No. >> And a smartphone with a great zoom camera. It works very well in that in fact and you know devices [music] as small as dots that I said earlier that they could be in the watch one is wearing the phones that are kept. You just have to install [music] it from one corner and that you're being recorded.
(20:11) you know button cameras are a thing of the past now everything has really transformed now it's become better I mean like meta glasses are so common for everybody right so I feel that these things are coming up now more and more and it's one way where you can actually monitor a lot of things but outdoor surveillance is the most uh important one that gives you a lot of insight and that gives you the truth you know >> what more investigation related to prematrimonial yeah post matrimonial has come to you apart from affairs And apart
(20:40) from that doubt on their partner see education premarital cases you know like people fake their status in a company how much they studied they do that a lot because again that's safe and they don't even get it verified but there are some people who come and say that like you There was a man who said that managing director that's all he was doing and he was
(21:29) saying I'm in line for this role in a very big company you know because I'm about to get this. So it was a very common lie that he said but I don't know but he wasn't doing anything [music] at that point. I'll tell you one case where a guy and a girl were about to get married and matrimonial websites and she said before I could take it to my parents okay about him he says so he'd be wearing great brands he'd take her to good places also eventually we got to know that he had been dating
(22:14) multiple women at the same time. That financially and [music] he would keep collecting money from them because they would help that you know and then he would use that money to impress another girl and take her out on dates and this process kept going on. So he was actually not involved with anybody but this was all just to keep taking money impressing more girls.
(22:48) That's why people are before getting married people also want to know what diseases have been running in this family. this guy is having problems internally organ you also get a medical test done if people feel conscious that history but get that done because that if you want to have a family with that person eventually and you want to have a life
(23:32) with them. One way to know would be obviously medical test if you come to us with that what we can check is that we can monitor their outdoor activities. [music] We can find out if they're actually regularly visiting some clinic for you know this. That's one take away from that where we could see [music] but this is something you felt like this profession is maybe like not for me.
(24:08) This is getting so uh difficult for me and he was from a political family and that the father and the son both have been involved in a lot of financial frauds and in different cities and and when we found out and we told that to the girl's family the girl's family accidentally blurted it while having a discussion that they got investigation [music] done.
(24:43) They came in a big car and they were following me and they stopped my car in the corner and they said that's the one time that this has happened with me and it scared me obviously but that was the only experience I remember that you know shook me for a bit. my mindset in my mind I said that next you don't know what will happen but I'll face it you know that was the only thing and they [music] all left and never came back so that was a good Right.
(25:39) brother-in-law. Every time they would leave the house, it will just be, you know, the four of them, the two sons and the parents. So, she'd be all decked up like everybody else, but stay quiet. You know, I feel eventually we found out that the mother-in-law was extremely controlling and she had this thing festivals.
(26:27) So, when you do check about the families which a lot of people miss, I think one factor is to check the family dynamics. relationship. That's important because that will predict your future in the family as well. But also, you need to love the family. You need to fall in love with the family also.
(26:49) And they should also give that back to us >> because it's very easy to have a curated image, you know, these days of the family also. But eventually wife and the husband came. She's very controlling. She has some involvement in my life because I'm not comfortable. Right. So outdoor activities monitor. Let's see what we find out.
(27:33) >> The mother-in-law was involved with the boy's father. Oh. >> So the boy's father and the girl's mother were both involved. They would go to hotels together, but they would actually go out and they would go to the hotels together, which is why she was so involved in the life. father. So this perfectly happy marriage was not so happy after all. Yeah.
(28:10) Which statement then you have to tell me myth fact. [music] >> Okay. Let's go. Rich men cheat more. Not true. >> Not true. Once a cheater always a cheater. >> Quite true. >> Fact. >> Yeah. Fact. >> Is there a reason you feel strongly about it? I think it's again because cheating is a mindset. Cheating is got you know situationally a lot of people may [music] cheat once or twice sometimes and you know people forgive them but your mind [music] convinced you that that was the right path and I feel like that's where it ends that if you
(28:41) have then you may do it one more time. Longdist relationships usually end in cheating. Not true. Not true. Not true. But um chances because you're very far off from your partner and of course you're more in touch with somebody else. But that's not factually true. Biggest thing people lie about is finance. >> No.
(29:06) No. Then what is >> ongoing relationships followed by lifestyle. Cheating is more common in big cities than small towns. >> Yes. [music] Really? Yes. >> Small towns are coming at par unfortunately but big cities more common. Love marriages have fewer secrets than arranged [music] marriages. >> True. True. >> Yeah.
(29:27) If someone's too good to be true, >> they probably are. Fact. [music] Check. Because nothing is ever perfect. [music] So perfection is a myth. And I feel that if you're looking at someone and feeling like they're too perfect, there's something that might be going on behind the scenes. >> Yeah. >> Women catch lies faster than men. [music] >> True.
(29:47) >> True. >> Yeah. >> [snorts] >> But yeah, [laughter] dating apps have made it easier to cheat. True. I have a wife, but I'm looking for a girlfriend. Yeah, >> women investigates more. True. I >> think it's a good place to wrap it up. Tanya, I had a great session, great gossip session with you. Got so many tea, got so many stories.
(30:17) Thank you so much for watching this episode. If you like this video, hit that subscribe button, share it with your friends, and comment below what should we ask Tanya next. Bye. [laughter]