Before You Say “I Love You”… Listen to What Adi Shankaracharya Would Ask

Before You Say “I Love You”… Listen to What Adi Shankaracharya Would Ask

Author Name:Anand Universe Official

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@ananduniverseoffical

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH2UhOMI9nQ



Transcript:
(00:00) Before you say I love you, hear what Adishankara revealed. We use the words I love you very easily. People say it every day. A lover says it to a partner. A mother says it to her child. Friends say it to each other. Sometimes it is spoken casually almost automatically as if it were simply part of language. I love you.
(00:24) Three small words yet they carry enormous weight in human life. But have you ever paused for a moment and asked yourself something very unusual? What exactly happens when we say those words? What do we really mean when we say I love you? Is love simply a feeling? Is it attraction between two people? Is it attachment, closeness or emotional connection? Or is something deeper hidden behind this simple phrase? If someone had asked Adish Shankari this question, what is love? His [snorts] answer would probably surprise many people. He would not
(01:01) immediately speak about romance. He would not describe love as emotion. And he would not talk about relationships in the ordinary sense. Instead, he would begin with a question. A question that appears simple but is actually very profound. Before defining love, he would ask, "Who is the one that says I love you?" Who is this I? And who exactly is this you? At first this may sound strange but if you look carefully the entire phrase I love you already assumes something without questioning it. It assumes that they are
(01:38) two separate individuals. One who loves and another who is loved. This seems obvious to us. It feels natural. Yet the entire vision of Adwit the philosophy associated with Shankrara begins with examining this assumption. Advat means not to. It points toward a radical insight about existence. According to this vision, reality at its deepest level is not divided into many separate beings.
(02:09) Beneath all the different forms of life, there is one fundamental essence. The ancient sages called this essence Brahman. Pure existence, pure consciousness, the ground of all reality. And they taught something even more surprising. The true self within every being is not separate from this universal reality. The essence within you and the essence within every other living being is the same.
(02:35) But because of ignorance, because of the habits of the mind, we experience ourselves as separate individuals. This sense of separation shapes the entire way we experience life. It also shapes the way we experience love. When most people say I love you, what is really happening? Often love is mixed with many other things.
(02:58) Desire, expectation, attachment, possession. A person says, "I love you." But silently there may be other meanings behind those words. I want you to stay with me. I want you to make me happy. I want you to belong me. When love becomes mixed with these expectations, something fragile appears within it. fear.
(03:22) Fear of losing the other person, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment. And because of this fear, love sometimes become painful. Many relationships begin with joy and excitement, but later they become filled with tension. Jealousy appears, control appears, conflict appears. Why does this happen? Because what we call love is often deeply connected to attachment.
(03:47) Attachment is the feeling that our happiness depends on someone or something outside of us. When we feel attached, we cling. We try to hold on. And the stronger the attachment becomes, the stronger the fear of losing it becomes. This is why love in ordinary life can sometimes bring both happiness and suffering.
(04:08) But from the perspective of non-duality, there is another possibility. To understand it, imagine standing at the edge of the ocean. You see many waves rising and falling on the surface of the water. Some waves are large and powerful. Others are small and gentle. From a distance, each wave appears separate. But if you look more carefully, every wave is simple.
(04:30) The ocean moving in a particular form. No wave exists independently. Every wave is water. The apparent separation between waves is only temporary. Adwat suggests that human beings are similar to these waves. Each person appears to be an individual separate from everyone else. But at a deeper level, all beings arise from the same underlying reality.
(04:57) Just as waves are expressions of the ocean, individuals are expressions of one universal consciousness. When this is not understood, the mind sees division everywhere. I am here. You are there. I love you. But when this illusion begins to dissolve, something extraordinary happens. Love begins to transform. As long as love is based on the idea that we are separate individuals who need each other to feel complete, it will always contain a shadow of fear.
(05:25) But when love arises from the recognition of a shared essence, it becomes something very different. It becomes spacious. It becomes free from possession. It becomes natural. It is no longer an attempt to own other person. It becomes a recognition. A recognition that the same life that lives in you also lives in the other.
(05:46) From this perspective, love is not something created by the mind. It is something that appears naturally when the illusion of separation begins to fade. This does not mean relationships disappear. People still meet. People still feel affection, warmth, and closeness. Human love still exists. But the quality of it changes. Instead of trying to complete oneself through another person, love becomes an expression of fullness.
(06:13) Two people may still say I love you. But the meaning is no longer based on need. It becomes a simple acknowledgement of connection. Even devotion can become part of this journey. Sankrara himself composed devotional hymns. He expressed deep reverence for the divine. At first this appears dualistic. There is the devotey and there is God.
(06:38) But devotion can act as a bridge. In the beginning, a person feels love towards something greater than themselves. They pray, they surrender, they feel gratitude. Slowly through reflection and insight, a deeper realization may appear. The realization that the divine reality one worships is not separate from one's own deepest self.
(06:57) The journey begins with love directed toward another. But it ends with the discovery of unity. When this insight arises, love changes its nature. It is no longer limited to specific people. It becomes a quite openness towards all beings. Compassion appears naturally. Kindness appears naturally. Not because of moral rules, but because the sense of separation has weakened.
(07:22) When you see yourself in others, harming another becomes the same as harming yourself. Caring for another becomes as natural as caring for your own body. This is why the sages often say that wisdom and compassion are inseparable. When understanding deepens, love becomes effortless. It flows naturally.