Why Some Relationships Drain You & Others Transform You | The Truth About Karmic Connections

Why Some Relationships Drain You & Others Transform You | The Truth About Karmic Connections

Author Name:All Things Spiritual-Dr.Tamanna C

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.TamannaC

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5UZnPiYysY



Transcript:
(00:00) Hello and welcome to All Things Spiritual Season 2, episode 2 with me, Dr. Tamana C, a karma coach, psychic, and an author. And join me on this journey where I answer the most frequently asked questions about life, human journey, spirituality, religion, universe, and all things spiritual. But before we move forward, make sure you subscribe to this channel.
(00:32) Today's episode, I'm going to be answering a set of questions that I've received, which is again the most frequently asked questions. Something that must have crossed your mind, something you must have pondered about, but would have not found an answer yet. So, here I am addressing these questions. To begin with the first question for today's episode, what is a karmic blueprint? And is everything predestined? So, you know, before our soul is born, our previous lifetimes are reviewed.
(01:10) And then, basis on what our soul needs to learn, what our soul needs to balance, what our soul needs to release, we create an energetic blueprint, a master plan for our new lifetime. And this happens during every incarnation. That blueprint is not the fine line, but it is an outline of what our soul is going to experience.
(01:42) So, for example, if you've learned some lessons in a previous lifetime, how your soul is going to utilize those lessons? If you've not learned those lessons in your previous lifetime, those will become the intention for you incarnating and learning those lessons. Also, from your soul group, you choose souls that you need to complete with.
(02:06) It could be parents from another lifetime, it could be a sibling, spouse, child from another lifetime who show up in your present lifetime in different relationships. Your father from another lifetime can show up as your mother in this lifetime or as a best friend in your lifetime or as a soulmate in your lifetime.
(02:26) Your mother from this previous lifetime can show up as your grandmother or as a boss or as a sibling in your new lifetime. So, the soul creates a master plan which has all the souls that you're going to be encountering who are going to be helping you in your new life, who going to be covering the journey on Earth with you in different relationships.
(02:52) It also has a set of karmic lessons you need to learn. And it also has a set of karmic incompletions. People have a myth that everything that we're going through in this lifetime is a result of a past life. And that is not true. It is just a myth. There are few incomplete things, incomplete giving and receiving, incomplete lessons from a past life that we need to balance in this lifetime.
(03:23) But our new incarnation is not fully based on our immediate past life. It is based on a sum totality of our previous past lives and also the journey that we are covering in between lifetimes because the soul is also going through growth while it's in a spiritual realm in between lifetimes.
(03:47) So, coming back, a karmic blueprint or a karmic record is basically a energetic blueprint that holds space for your karmic contract so the relationships that you need to give or receive those people that you need to complete with those people that will play a role in your life on Earth. Then comes the karmic lessons, the lessons that you need to learn that you've not learned in your previous lifetimes.
(04:14) And then few things here and there that you've not finished in your past life that you need to complete in this lifetime. So that is what an Akashic blueprint is. Now while an Akashic blueprint or a karmic blueprint is important as it creates the theme for your life, choices of free will is also crucial. Every time you take a choice of free will that is not aligning with the karmic blueprint, there will be suffering, there will be pain, there will be re-routing, there will be delays.
(04:51) Out of your choices if you're aligned with your karmic blueprint, there will be ease, there will be abundance, there will be growth and there will be a higher state of consciousness. So yes, while everything is pre-planned or pre-charted, destiny is some totality of the choices that you make along with the plan that you're supposed to be going through.
(05:18) Are karmic relationships always painful? Absolutely not. When we are creating our karmic blueprint, the relationships that we choose, our parents, our siblings that we choose, our life partner that we choose, our children that we choose, they are not here to cause pain. Like I said in my previous episode, when we delay learning our lessons, when we resist learning our lessons, that causes pain.
(05:49) Now, one interesting thing about the karmic chart is that we can only make choices for the lessons we need to learn. We cannot choose who our teachers are. So, for example, if you take admission in, say, a college, and you choose your subjects, say, I want to study science, or I want to study commerce, or I want to study uh arts, you only in your admission form write the subjects that you want to study.
(06:20) You do not get the power to choose the teachers. So, tomorrow, if you don't like your physics teacher, or your accounts teacher, or your psychology teacher, you can't blame the teacher. It's because you have chosen the subject. That teacher is just doing the job. So, karmic relationships are not supposed to be painful.
(06:43) In fact, they are supposed to be holding space for your journey to grow. But, because you are not able to see the lesson, and because you are resisting to learn the lesson, that causes pain. What purpose do karmic relationships serve? Karmic relationships serve the purpose of holding space for you to learn the lesson in a safe environment.
(07:09) They do not abandon you when you don't learn your lessons. They do not leave you when you don't learn your lessons. They hold space with unconditional love and unconditional support. As much as you resist learning the lessons from your parents, from your family members, from your siblings, from your lover, or from your partner, or children, remember that they are only holding space with unconditional love and unconditional support.
(07:42) They are not punishing you for not learning the lessons. You are punishing yourself by delaying the learning of the lessons that you're supposed to be learning through them. How long do karmic relationships usually last? Well, every relationship has a timeline. Even your relationship with your parents have a timestamp.
(08:06) Even your relationship with your sibling have a timestamp. Like they say, nothing lasts forever. So, there is no guarantee that karmic relationships are supposed to last forever. Sometimes a best friend can come into your life to pull you out of a bad relationship or to give you a stable job or to be there with you through during your low phase.
(08:29) Sometimes your sibling can come to you for financial support or emotional support in the toughest time and when you are out of that tough time, they may take a backseat. Sometimes you may attract partners for you to learn certain lessons for you to grow and for you to start a family and maybe after a certain point it's time to part ways.
(08:50) So, it is not necessarily that just because it's a karmic relationship, it has to last forever because remember every soul is your on their own journey and they also have karmas to finish with other people like you have your karmas to finish with other souls. If you are constantly stuck to just those limited souls or people in your life, you're not going to grow as an individual and neither are they going to grow as individuals.
(09:22) So, once their purpose is done, it's time for you to move on and it's time for them to move on and engage with other souls for them to learn the next level of their syllabus or lessons and for you to do the same. What are soul contracts? Soul contracts are basically the giving and receiving of energies and the souls that we choose during that period.
(09:48) So, you can have a friend that you have chosen in your karmic blueprint that okay, I choose a person as a friend and this person will always boost my confidence whenever I need it. Or you I may have B person as a sibling and this person will always show up whenever I'm feeling lost or whenever I need to touch base with spirituality.
(10:09) Or this C person will show up in my life whenever I need financial support. A D person will show up in my life if I'm making wrong choices in my relationships and this person will help me or guide me through my relationship choices. So, soul contracts are those souls that we choose to play a certain role in our life who will keep showing up when those scenarios show up in our life.
(10:37) And those are soul contracts. The beauty about soul contracts is they never end. It can temporarily fade, but they will never go away or it will never be a disconnect. So, it's like railway tracks, you know, it comes together and then then again it parts part ways and again they come together and again they part ways.
(10:55) So, the beauty about soul contracts is they will always show up when they have a role to play in a certain area of your life and when you need them. And vice versa, you will also show up in people's life when they need it and you have a role to play in their life. Why do some people enter our lives only to hurt us? You know, what is the deepest karmic lesson that we need to learn every time we feel hurt? The lesson is forgiveness.
(11:30) Forgiveness on the physical level, mental level, emotional level, and spiritual level. And when we learn the lesson of forgiveness on the spiritual level, we stop feeling that hurt. Often people tell me that, "Oh, I've learned the lesson of forgiveness and how much more to forgive and I have forgiven the person.
(11:51) " But if that person shows up in their life or even if they are to encounter the person outside, there is an emotional trigger. There is an emotional or spiritual remembrance about what they did, what they said, and it still holds an emotional grip in their life. That means that person has only forgiven on the physical stage and not the mental and emotional level.
(12:14) In order to not feel hurt by people, you need to master the lesson of forgiveness. Until the time you do not forgive, anyone and everyone will keep hurting you. No matter who they are, no matter what the situations or relationship is, you will be attracting hurt till the time you don't learn how to forgive on all levels of your existence.
(12:42) Why do people stay in relationships that emotionally drain them? People stay in relationships that emotionally drain them because they fear loneliness. They think that they don't deserve better and they settle for what is being served to them. They are made to feel guilty for standing up for themselves. They are made to feel guilty for asking for more.
(13:09) And because they believe that they don't deserve it, they settle for the draining energy and they normalize being drained out in relationships. People don't want to make choices and I personally believe that you cannot heal in the same place that made you sick. If you're constantly feeling drained out in a relationship and that relationship is not serving your purpose, then it's time for you to move on and for you to stand up for yourself.
(13:42) And moving on does not mean ending the relationship, otherwise any and every relationship will drain you out and you'll keep jumping from one relationship to another. But moving on in terms of upgrading your energies, learning your lessons. Another reason why people feel emotionally drained in relationships is because they're asking for the wrong thing from the wrong person.
(14:04) If you're constantly seeking approval from someone who's only criticizing you, who's never been validated, you will always feel drained out. It's like you begging in front of a beggar. You are not going to get anything and you'll just keep begging. So sometimes maybe what you're asking for from the wrong person could also be draining you out.
(14:24) I'm not saying you don't deserve it, but maybe you're just knocking on the wrong door. So maybe that's why you're feeling emotionally drained out. Can painful relationships be healed consciously? Absolutely. Once you shift your awareness to what is triggering you, is it an old pattern? Is it a childhood trauma? Is it a negative belief system? Or is it your karmic lesson that you need to learn? Once you shift your awareness to that and you learn the lesson and heal the trigger and the trauma and release the negative belief system, your frequency
(15:07) will change and automatically that will lead to the change in frequency of your relationship. Whether the person has changed or not, that will not matter. But when you have done your healing and your inner work, other people will not trigger as much and automatically the quality of the relationship will get better.
(15:28) How can one stay hopeful while waiting for the right partner? I always say that delay happens because either the timing is not right or your soul has to reach a certain level of vibration to match the frequency of the partner that you've attracted. You know, often we want people who are of a higher vibrational frequency, who are aligned, who are loving, who are kind, so on and so forth.
(15:57) But sometimes maybe we are not aligned to sustaining that frequency. So maybe the universe is giving you time, creating delays that till the time you don't do the inner work and you don't align to that frequency so that you can sustain the love that is coming your way, there will be delays. Sometimes delays also happen because on a subconscious level before you took birth, you perhaps have decided that okay, before I get married, I want to learn the lesson of financial independence.
(16:30) I want to channelize my energies and be successful in my career. I want to accomplish a couple of things before I settle down into a marriage or before I start a family. And maybe on a subconscious level, your soul has chosen that delay consciously and has chosen not to get married at the age of 20, 25, 30 for a reason so that by the time you meet your partner after 30, 35, you are stable, you are financially independent, you are exactly where you need to be in your career life and financial stability.
(17:05) And that's when your journey into familyhood starts. So delays are not always rejections. It's sometimes a conscious choice a soul makes before it takes birth. And that could be for various reasons. Why do strong people secretly struggle with loneliness? Because strong people It's not that strong people struggle with loneliness, but strong people find it difficult to depend on people who are dependent on them.
(17:38) The beauty about strong people is that everyone thinks that they're strong, but they're waiting to be vulnerable with someone who can hold space for them. So, it's not that they're dealing with loneliness, but strong people find it difficult to find someone stronger than them who can hold space for them to be vulnerable.
(18:01) It's like what do you give to someone who has everything? But it's the smallest things that they will need. So, it's not that strong people are lonely, but they just find it difficult to find someone as strong as them or stronger than them who can hold space for them to be vulnerable. Even a strong person needs a safe space where they can be vulnerable.
(18:24) If they start being vulnerable with people who are depending on them or who comes to them for strength, then those people will not know how to handle their vulnerability. That's why strong people struggle with being vulnerable. Is being too sensitive actually unhealed trauma? Being too sensitive is unhealed lessons or delayed karmic lessons.
(18:53) I often hear people say that, "Oh, I'm too sensitive and this is how I am." And you know what my response to them is? Then deal with the suffering that comes with it. When you attach yourself to people's problems, you call yourself sensitive. When you uh are very rigid and you're not able to adapt to real-life situations, you call yourself you know, you call yourself sensitive.
(19:17) When people are not in approval of you or do not validate you or don't give you attention and you feel hurt, you call yourself sensitive. When you're not heard, you feel sensitive. When you're not seen, you feel sensitive. When anything happens out of the blue, you feel sensitive. In your head, you've made a small thing a big scenario and you are dwelling in your sensitivity.
(19:41) Sensitivity is just a product Sensitivity is just a projection for the soul not to learn their lessons and you cannot go through life calling yourself sensitive because with sensitivity comes the baggage and burden of a lot of pain and a lot of suffering that is not needed by your soul. How can boundaries be set without guilt? Let's understand what is setting boundaries because I think a lot of people confuse that.
(20:13) People confuse setting boundaries with disconnection, pushing people away or being aggressive. Setting boundaries is also about understanding what people are, how much they can handle, how much they can give, how much they can receive and you giving expecting only according to that. That is also another way of setting energetic boundaries.
(20:39) You cannot cut away from people who cross boundaries every time because end of it you will be left alone. Because in the consciousness soul state that we are, we are working as a collective consciousness. The reason why we have chosen this life on earth is not to grow through isolation. So setting boundaries and living in isolation is not growth, it's escapism.
(21:05) Is every problem that you're going through in this life, can it be resolved with past life? The answer is no. Because the root cause of every problem in this life does not have to be a past life. I often tell my clients that past life healing is like an open heart surgery. So today, if you're suffering from a headache, if you're suffering from a gastro or a kidney issue, or a hormonal issue, or an acidity issue, me doing uh open heart surgery is not going to resolve those issues.
(21:40) I can do a past life, but not necessarily that that problem in your present life will go away. Like I mentioned, in every lifetime, the soul chooses multiple fresh contracts, multiple fresh lessons, multiple fresh karmas, and maybe few karmas here and there can be from a past life. So, unless and until the problem that you're going through is associated with a past life root cause, past life healing will not help.
(22:19) And stop blaming every problem in this lifetime because of your past life karma because that's the unknown. Take responsibility because this way you will never take responsibility for your choices, and you will keep brushing your growth and your emotional accountability under the carpet by just blaming everything on past life.
(22:41) Can souls choose not to incarnate? Absolutely. But even in order to have that choice of free will, you need to be on a higher frequency. So, let me give you an example. Say, when we are in school, you know, before 10th standard board exams, we have what we call a study leave. Now, if there's a student who's very responsible, who studied, who secured good results in the previous exams, goes and tells the teacher that, "Mom, can I go home and study?" The teacher will be like, "Yes, absolutely.
(23:16) " Because the teacher can trust the child to do its work at home. But, if there's a student who's naughty, who's mischievous, who's lazy, who keeps failing in the previous exams, and that child goes to the teacher and says, "Teacher, can I study from home?" The teacher will say, "No." Because the teacher does not trust the child to study alone at home.
(23:41) Similarly, for souls, if you're a soul of a higher vibrational frequency, you can get exempted from incarnations because you can still working on your soul lessons. You can still finish a lot of energetic karma from the spiritual realm. But, if you've not studied your lessons, if you're vibrating at a low frequency, you will have to incarnate in human form to go through life again, and to go through your lessons, and to go through your test.
(24:15) You know, a lot many times, even souls who've attained moksha, who've attained enlightenment, can incarnate and come back only to help the collective consciousness raise its vibrational frequency. So, it is a choice that souls have, but only souls with a higher frequency are given that choice not to incarnate.
(24:41) So, if at all you don't want to incarnate again in human form, uplift your vibrational frequencies in this lifetime. So, that the universe can trust you to complete your work in your spiritual world. Can automatic writing be activated safely? Again, a very interesting question. And for those who don't know, automatic writing is a way of connecting with the soul who's deceased, someone who's in the spiritual realm.
(25:11) It could be a spirit guide, it could be a deceased family member, it could be an ascended master. And calling upon their energies, and helping them channel through your body, basically picking up a pen and paper, and you are holding the pen and paper, but they are going through the hand movement. And I will not advise for anyone to do this without a professional guru or a master or someone who can guide you.
(25:40) For the simple reason, when you invite or when you invoke or when you open your energies up to connect with a soul or anyone from the spiritual realm, unless and until you're a clairvoyant, unless and until you're a clairaudient who can see which soul is coming through, is it a positive soul, is it a right soul, is it exactly who I'm wanting to connect with or calling upon, any soul can come in into your energy field, and any soul can start moving your hand and give you wrong messages, can give you distract you, uh can give
(26:21) you wrong guidance. Sometimes this also leads to entity attacks, and also in certain cases, it can lead to possession. Because again, to do auto writing, you have to open up your energetic field. And if you don't know which soul you're inviting or which soul is coming through, and if a negative soul comes through or a low vibrational soul comes through and they don't leave, they will be stuck with you, and you will be stuck with them.
(26:54) So, it is extremely imperative that you do not practice auto writing without supervision or with without a master or a guru who knows this art diligently. And the last question for today's episode is going to be how can a child who's experienced trauma be supported? I think this is such a sensitive and a deep question because children go through trauma, and 90% of our traumas are formed in our childhood.
(27:29) Things that we've experienced, things that we've been told, things that we've not been told. And a child just craves safety and security. Do you know that the human brain, the human consciousness, is not fully developed till the age of 21? The first stage of human brain development happens at the age of three, seven, 12, and then 21.
(28:01) And by the time an adult or a child is 21, that's when the brain is fully developed. And anything that they witness, anything that they are exposed to, or anything that they perceive, the human brain does not know how to comprehend it. So, if a child has gone through trauma, it is as an adult your job to bring in the sense of safety and security.
(28:30) So, for example, if the child has gone through bullying and rejection, you need to bring in the opposite energy of that, which is acceptance and love. If the child has gone through oppression, you need to create a safe space for your child to be heard. If your child has gone through sexual abuse, you need to bring in the sense of safety for belonging to that body.
(29:01) You need to tell that child that it is safe for you to be in your body and not to reject your body or not to reject your sexuality. So, whatever it is the child is experiencing, you need to balance it with the opposite positive emotion and most importantly, bring in safety and security. This is what every soul in childhood craves and needs is safety and security.
(29:33) Children don't understand abundance. Children don't understand luxury and wealth and they don't understand success. All that the soul of a child understands is safety and security. And with that, we come to an end of today's episode. I hope you enjoyed listening to this conversation as much as I loved answering these intense deep questions.
(30:03) If at all you have any questions that you want me to address in my upcoming episodes, you can leave it in the comment box and yes, don't forget to subscribe to my channel and if at all you feel that somebody else could benefit from listening to this episode, feel free to share it with your loved ones. Up until my next, stay safe and stay blessed.
(30:35) >> [music] [music] [music] >> Mhm.