We shouldn't have joked about this | RelationSh!t Advice ft. Trinetra Haldar, @sapanv @Hoezaay

We shouldn't have joked about this | RelationSh!t Advice ft. Trinetra Haldar, @sapanv @Hoezaay

Author Name:Raunaq Rajani

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@RaunaqRajani

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lRD-UNbMF0



Transcript:
(00:00) What do you do, Anit? >> Uh, I upcycle clothes, >> brother. It's like God is censoring you. [laughter] >> Upcycle clothes. Is that what you >> So, how did you get into this, dude? >> Um, I I majored in philosophy and there were no jobs. >> What kind of job do you get with philosophy? Bro, >> you teach philosophy, [laughter] >> right? So, with a whole classroom of philosophy students, there's only one teacher that can take the teacher's place.
(00:27) >> Yeah. But like, >> did you just realize this? >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Who's your favorite philosopher? >> Um, Plato. >> What What is something that Plato said that you think that all of us should take back home today? >> Uh, nothing is real. >> Wow. >> It is all an illusion. >> Like your job. >> YEAH.
(00:50) [laughter] >> HI, my name is Ra Kjani and welcome to my show, Relationship Advice. So, I [music] invite some of my funny friends and together we sit in front of a live audience and read questions that have been mailed into me by people who have very serious love problems. >> No one behaves more single than a married man.
(01:06) >> What the hell, Jose? >> Hey, man. Sorry. [laughter] >> It's their fault they wrote to a comedy show cuz we [music] only give them bakquas advice. >> Even Seph had a safe building. >> This is no time to be doing puns, ma'am. Please. It's a serious discussion. But first, to prove that we're not better than anybody, here is us talking about our own very personal [music] Bakquas love lives.
(01:28) >> You should have your second child before your first child turns two. So basically in 2 years, >> that sounds insane. >> Yeah. Within 2 years you have two kids. So what happens is one the age gap is less than 2 years. So they take care of each other when they grow up and the age gap is not much.
(01:43) And basically go through all the craziness of parenting in those 2 years and then after 4 5 years you are less crazy. My 3-year-old is taking care of my 1-year-old. Don't worry, [laughter] everything's fine. >> It's >> But like an 8-year-old will take care of a 6-year-old, right? Maybe. >> It's kind of like Yeah.
(01:58) It's kind of like being on a bender. You know what I'm saying? It's like if I'm anywhere drunk, I'll drink some more. It's like, okay, if I have a kid, then [ __ ] let's just have one more. Just be depressed together. >> Okay. >> Right. Am I right or am I wrong? >> Yeah. Yeah. True. Then you can have your life back little by little.
(02:17) [laughter] Have your life back. >> Oh, sorry. The mic is [laughter] >> Sorry, my mic was on. I'm so sorry. >> No, you can't even have your coffee in peace. I'm not even kidding. >> Your child is taking your coffee. >> Jose, give them a timeline. Your kid is 30 now. >> My what? Your kid is 30 now. Give them a timeline.
(02:38) How long does it take? >> Oh, just one lifetime. When was the last time you were able to have a coffee? >> You can have coffee every day because you're a man. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah. Shame on you, man. >> Spoken like a true man. >> Yeah. Disgusting. [laughter] What the [ __ ] >> My coffee. >> Jose, I think we should be married because my conversations at home are like this only.
(03:02) [laughter] I didn't complete the sentence. I think there's no time to rest. You can have coffee as much as you want, but rest. Good save. Good. Good. I hope there is bright like there is light [laughter] in public. [music] >> [music] [music] [music]
(03:54) >> What about you, Jose? How are things with you, man? You okay, ma'am? What happened? You're going to regret laughing because I have some bad news. I know I've been here on this show many times and we've cracked a lot of jokes about my family and stuff, but my family I have some bad news. My family has left me.
(04:16) >> Oh, >> this is bad for whom? [snorts] >> You guys are laughing. I haven't even told you all the bad news yet. They're coming back. [laughter] And they're coming back by the end of the week. >> They're coming back end of the week. No, >> just joking. Okay. I love them very much and I miss them a lot.
(04:36) And yeah, that's it. >> So, why is that bad news, bro? >> We just said we'd end the joke over here. [laughter] >> Where's it gone? >> Uh, holiday. >> Oh, without you? >> Without me? Yes. >> They needed a holiday from you. >> Yes. >> What are you? Some >> Yes. >> You're some abusive drunk at home. >> Oh, [laughter] [ __ ] Is that something that we don't know, Jose? >> No, no, no. I'm a very nice person.
(05:00) But you know, during this time, it was so weird. I miss my family so much. I started playing a video game where you can have a family in the video game. >> Any of you guys play games like that? >> Like Sims? >> Yeah, kind of like Sims. >> You ever think of texting your family? [laughter] >> Just text. >> You can text.
(05:16) There's a UI in there where you can send the you can send the character a message. >> I'm I'm playing Starfield and you can have a relationship. >> Okay. You have a different wife. You can have a relationship. I have a different wife. >> And it's legal and she's only going to be upset after she sees this, >> right? >> Okay.
(05:33) So, so far she doesn't know she's not upset. >> Do you think it's okay for Jose to have a virtual girlfriend? No. >> No. What the hell? A virtual wife? No. >> And you have a virtual baby also? Imagine. [laughter] She's waving her finger at me like that. Look. Look. It's not like that. I know it might sound weird to you. We're shooting and killing people in the game. OH, HE'S DOING CRIMES NOW.
(06:00) >> YEAH, there's crimes in the game. We're going to get you arrested, Jose. >> But listen, the thing I noticed about the game is in the game now school fees come here [laughter] than in real life. >> What's your day like when as a bachelor for this one month? So, I get up, fill fuel, uh, no ethanol in the ship.
(06:17) [laughter] The spaceship goes up, then we go mining on planets, [snorts] and then we do some missions. And then that's it. I'm like, "Thank you, Sarah. Save game." >> Sarah dinner. >> Sarah. [laughter] >> Yeah. Sarah, not Sarah. >> S. >> S. [laughter] >> Stop it, Ro. Stop asking me. Dude, dude, I've noticed.
(06:43) I've seen I've seen the show obviously. I feel like every time Jose just like deflects he never tells his true story. No. Do you guys think that? >> Yeah. What the hell, dude? Jose never tells his true story. 43 people like this comment. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You all hear me telling stories about my life like it's a comedy show? >> Wait, so this is a pattern for you so far? Is it that you you lie about certain life? >> What the hell is happening over there? [laughter] Do you really have a family? Income tax.
(07:15) I don't believe anything he's saying. [laughter] No, Karthik. No, Karthik, you're not invited to this party. Please don't take it personally. Okay. IT'S YOUR BOY MICHELLE OBAMA. WE ARE BEEFING WITH KARTHIK ARIAN. That's right. Karthik Arian and I are beefing. I hope he knows that. He has 829K subs on YouTube and we are going to ratio him because right now we have 595.
(07:40) How do we live in a world where that's possible? Huh? Are you here to support Karthik or are you here to support me? Choose. Choose your heroes. I don't meet your heroes in real life. But if you're coming for my show, please come. We need to fight Karthikaran and show him who's the boss.
(07:58) So, subscribe immediately so that we can all go and enjoy the Kartikaran defeat party. Okay? And yes, Karthik, you are not invited. Please. Please. No. Shut up. [music] No. writing nonsense. All right. Please go buy the merch. This is the t-shirts. Please buy the merch. I made that sound effect with my with my mouth. Your mom loves it when I do that.
(08:27) Oh yeah, and by the way, if you want to write your relationship problems to the show, relationshipadvice.com, there's an anonymous text box. Go fill it in. I hope you like that auntie. I'm really good at it. >> What about you, Tita? How are you? Where are you at in your relationship status? >> I used to use the apps a lot in my early 20ies, but now not so much anymore.
(08:49) >> Why not? What's wrong with apps? >> Because there were too many married men on the apps. It got ridiculous. >> Jose, what are you doing? Yeah. >> Yo, [laughter] >> Jose, I use I use Blinket, bro. Jose, >> those are the apps I >> Are these your video games where you have a wife for the >> family? Yes. >> Cucumber. Zucchini.
(09:10) [laughter] >> Cucumber and zucchini. >> I was not prepared for today, [laughter] >> but I didn't know a lot of uncles like are on the apps and they pretend like they're single. I didn't know that. >> No one behaves more single than a married man. >> Period. >> What the hell, Jose? >> Hey, man. >> Sorry. [laughter] Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.
(09:31) >> This is how he twists things around, you know. [laughter] Just be a little careful of him. >> I'm innocent. I swear, baby. >> Except you guys. >> Good save. Good save. >> Good save. >> Only at Katri. >> Only at home. Like, what the [ __ ] >> I'm not even there. >> So, there are married uncles on the app, you say.
(09:51) >> So, there's this one particular story. This is whack, y'all. I can't believe I'm talking about this, but I I was 24 and he was 42. And >> Jose, so I'm in my 60s now. Please, [laughter] nice try, Arnab. >> He was a pilot apparently. I don't know. God knows, you know. We don't know. >> He's flying spaceships.
(10:18) [laughter] He's like, I'm a pilot, by the way. I did some mining on Anthropon 2. [laughter] >> Who knows? Very possible because every time we'd go out on a date, I'm always like, "Okay, can I pay?" Like, "I'll offer first, you know, and just to see kind of engage how the other person reacts cuz it says a lot about them.
(10:38) >> So, I just like I offer first." Five, six times he didn't offer. I was like, >> "Oh, >> what? School fees [laughter] are really high these days. >> Yeah. So, I'm paying for all the bills including where we hang out. And then one day he's like, "Listen, I can't talk to you for a week, but because there is a relative at home.
(11:02) " And I was like, "Oh, who?" And he was like, "She's an aunt or something." I was like, "Yeah, cool." And I would call the entire week that I would call, he'd just be like, "I'm sorry, the relative is around." I'm like, who is this relative who's stopping you from, I don't know, picking up the phone? And then it clocked to me who this relative might be.
(11:21) And I was like, oh my god, I can't believe this is happening. >> Whose relative? >> His wife. [laughter] >> His wife was his wife. Yeah. Yeah. >> His wife. >> I mean, technically he's right. Wife is a relative. Tech on technicality grounds, they are related. So just to just to trigger Chani, I'll purposely say my relative in front of her once.
(11:39) >> Like I say, meet my relative. [laughter] Sometimes at parties I I introduce my uh my wife as my cousin. >> Someone knows this. [laughter] Have I done this to you? >> Oh, I've said this before. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I just if someone doesn't know that this is my wife, which now because I'm online, a lot of people already know, but I say, "Hi, I'm Ro.
(12:00) This is This is Hannah. She's my cousin." And then and then I make out with her violently. That's [laughter] >> dear. Ah, >> I'm 23 female. My guy best friend of 10 years was detected with a deathly disease. I visited him in the hospital. His sister was there. Everyone was emotional and he told me he'd always been in love with me for years.
(12:26) The thing is, I don't feel that way about him, but he was dying. [laughter] So, I told him I loved him, too. I figured it was a harmless kindness to give someone comfort in their final moments. Unfortunately, the power of love appears to have cured him. He's now willed an unexpected full recovery with the hope that we're starting a relationship.
(12:53) [gasps] What do I do? [laughter] I can't even gaslight him. His sister's a witness. You know, as a doctor, I really don't know what the hell to say to this. >> You know what? I've never been more on the side of a person who ended a sentence with I can't even gaslight him. [laughter] >> Okay, firstly, can I just say I think it's really weird when a guy is in love with you and he's your best friend and doesn't say anything.
(13:17) I think that's a what are you doing? [laughter] >> No, Jose told me. I just said no. >> I love you Ron. I love you. Sapan Atul 50%. [laughter] >> It's a 23 year old girl. Best friend for of 10 years. >> 14 to 23. >> That means they were best friends since they were 13. like they're school friends. Do you guys even use the internet? Y'all are not paranoid enough.
(13:36) I feel >> I feel like he's been planning this, >> you know. >> Ladies, yes. >> How do you [ __ ] How do you give yourself a deathly disease? >> Corn man sports con man. [laughter] >> You think I build relationships in video games for fun? I'm I'm training the AI. Okay. Trying to understand what's happening. Bro, plan this. He plan this.
(14:01) It sounds like an idea that came up on a podcast where two guys were like, "How do I get her to love me?" >> So, you you you have started to be a doctor, you're saying, right? >> Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I finished. >> Is this a thing that people can will themselves back to? Okay. >> I don't know what this deathly disease was.
(14:17) Like, that sounds a little ridiculous. >> People beat cancer when they will themselves. >> Oh, yeah. Fully. Let me just check a state. Tonsillitis. [laughter] >> Tonsilitis. >> I don't know. She should have figured out what that deathly disease was and if it was curable if it's cancer or something like it's understandable. >> But if it's like lose motions or something [laughter] >> like sometimes you lose motions you feel like you're about to die.
(14:40) >> I know a guy who died because of lose motions. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. >> It happened in my family. Yeah. [laughter] >> But what's the right thing to do over there? Someone's telling you emodium. What >> if somebody tells you they're going to die >> and then they say I have always loved you. Yeah. >> Are you supposed to say I love you too? >> If somebody's dying, you have to agree, right? If if like >> if like Ron is dying, okay? >> And if he says it's upon my last wishes that you rub my nipple, for example,
(15:10) [laughter] >> I would do it, bro. I mean, even if you're not dying, I would. But I didn't know that was on the table. Sur [laughter] I'm dying. I >> if your best friend is dying and they have a last >> Yeah, I can rub my best friend's nipple like Yeah, whatever, dude. Here. >> Not like this like >> Yeah.
(15:34) And then if you do pi >> That's true. That's true. That's that's what that's what we used to do in childhood. But like here like all right like [laughter] okay ALL RIGHT FINE HE'S DYING DUDE HE'S DYING IT'S OKAY LET HIM. >> BUT THEN IF HE WAKES UP AND HE'S like I'm not dying. You have to do this to me every day buddy. >> YEAH.
(15:49) >> IT'S OVER for me. Yeah. Yeah. >> How did we reach here exactly from that guy was dying and we are now flicking Ronach's nipples. [laughter] >> No, no, no. We are not flicking Ron's nipples >> unfortunately. >> But you are in a situation where your best friend, >> a person you've seen platonically. No, I feel like if I had a guy best and I do have a guy best friend, I don't think a guy best friend would lie to me about, you know, liking me behind the scenes cuz it's kind of it's a bit of a [ __ ] up thing to do. No, to kind of make the
(16:26) other person feel like all of this comfort and this hugging, cuddling that could have had a completely different meaning for the other person. That's kind of weird. >> It happens quite often. No, >> it does. >> People don't tell their friends because they feel like they lose their friendship. >> They'll make it weird.
(16:41) >> Yeah. So in this situation when he's like I'm about to die and this is my my final thing. I mean you say it and then you go >> I would be like you you were in delirium. You imagined this whole thing but the sister was there. >> Good one. Good one. >> Sister was there. Sister was a witness. Sister was like sister real sister nurse sister.
(17:01) [laughter] >> Speaking of sister, you know what's really funny? When I transitioned like earlier, people would default to doctor but then I started wearing a white coat and I transitioned and stuff immediately. They'd be like sister, sister. You automatically get demoted to sister. >> Oh, >> that's insane.
(17:19) That disrespect or whatever. >> Did you address it ever? >> I did. I did. I was like, "No, I am the doctor actually." >> Nice. >> Rage baited the sister. >> Rage baited the sister. >> Yeah. Say the sister was very emotional because the brother was dying. So she also like totally thought that entire thing. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Leave the family.
(17:36) >> Yeah. Call the whole family. >> Family. >> Yeah. >> We can't be together because of this. But what about the other way around, Ron? You're dying. Is it right for you to tell someone >> that you love them? >> I feel like >> and then leave them with those feelings. >> I feel like if you're dying, if you're dying and then you have to commit to actually dying, right? there you should say whatever's in your heart but then don't do this [ __ ] THING OF I'M BACK >> I'm just saying that like if he confronts her she can just say oh I love
(18:10) you but as a friend >> has something like this happened to you ever anything close to such a thing >> no but I have heard this like [laughter] a guy told you he had a >> but this is a very common thing isn't it >> is it let's give them replies then Hey, shut up. [laughter] What is this a template? [ __ ] put your finger into this person's chest.
(18:40) >> Fingering. >> So So you realize like they are playing something. So you >> may may I ask you are these things that you've heard around? Because like I I honestly I'm asking because I've never heard any of my friends saying >> very common especially in school. >> In school. Yeah. So I'm just saying he's using the school playbook.
(19:00) My parents are getting divorced. What else? What else is common or I'm being abused at home? Like >> you know what somebody said in my school? I just remembered and this will tell you about the fact that I'm please rub my nipple. >> Yeah. Then I rubbed also. [laughter] But uh this will tell you how I was uh raised in MP. Okay.
(19:25) There was one uh when I was in school had come out. Okay. And there was one sadhar kid in in another another section and he came and told everyone that who says it's him right >> and we all believed him and we all took his autograph because [laughter] I am not kidding because the problem is that you think all sans get the same [laughter] but half the people had not seen the movie also some had seen and he acted like autograph do you still have his autograph? Yeah, I know.
(19:59) [laughter] I don't have it now, but I remember everybody took his autograph. >> Dude, that kid was actually in my school. [laughter] >> That kid. But he was a parsy kid. >> Oh, the actual one. >> The actual actor. Yeah. Yeah. >> Maybe he was also lying. >> No, no, he was. And and he was in that fab call ad which was chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick
(20:13) chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick. So we used to like bully him and like he was older than me.
(20:17) Chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick [laughter] chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick chick that poor guy he just got bullied throughout school for being in show
(20:23) business [laughter] >> and now you are in show business living his life vicariously but Mary Diri is intense she can't obviously live with this all her life she has >> I think just take it as it goes just live together for like be his girlfriend you all will fight and then you all will break up in a month and then you're out of this we're better he'll himself say we're better off his minutes.
(20:47) >> Yeah, exactly. He's going to get married to this woman. Like I think she just needs to say like >> she can do that. She can be like, "Listen, I said I loved you, but actually I'm getting a proposal and in that time Oh, >> I've accepted it." Oh yeah. >> No, the opposite. Nothing nothing scares a guy more than commitment.
(21:06) So say if you love me, marry me right now. >> Correct. Yes. See, I want to have I want to have a baby in the next 3 months because I need your Pani in my life. Just just give them so much commitment that he runs away. >> If you have seen how to lose a guy in 10 days, so she can just act crazy with him.
(21:28) She can say with a friend, I'm like this, but when I'm in a relationship, I go crazy and then he'll fall out of love with her. >> She should be obsession. She should be Nikki. >> Oh yeah. >> Has anybody ever [laughter] pretended to be like a crazy version of themselves so that they scare off their partner? >> Yes. >> And they get them to Yeah. You have.
(21:44) >> Okay. This is going to sound horrible. Like when I would take him out to meet my friends, my friends hated him. And I understand why because he was very like, I don't want you hanging out with this person. I don't want you hanging out with this guy. And I was like, "No, I I will not be told who to hang out with and who to not.
(22:03) " But he also had like anger, which was a little weird. So I was like, "Listen, I really want to get married in the next like 2 years." And my mom I told my mom and she played along with it. She was like, "Yeah, yeah. uh you know, do you want to talk to her and stuff? And he freaked out and he was like, "Okay, bye." >> Oh, okay.
(22:22) So then when he said, "I want to get married." Uh or you said >> I said Yeah. Yeah. I didn't want to get married to him. No, no, no. >> Correct. Cuz he was already married. [laughter] >> Jose, would you if you ever had been in a situation, I hope never uh that you are like, "Okay, I have only these many days to live.
(22:41) I can misuse everybody's sympathy. I do have only these many days to live. What do you mean? But how many? You don't know exactly. >> I'm 44. It could be anything now. [laughter] Could you If I get off this chair, I might break my back and die. >> It's possible. >> I think wait a week till your family comes back cuz we don't want to take care of you.
(22:56) >> The chances go up when they come back. [laughter] I'm saying what if she says if he says that uh you know I'm cured and now I love you. What if now she says we will die. Yeah. She should say >> and then she should leave the country and start another life somewhere. >> Oh yeah. What if she says because they removed my chair to put it inside yours.
(23:19) >> So that's why that's why I'm going to die now. >> Welding heart. You catch the my MBBS brain is like what the [ __ ] are they saying? Bro, >> I don't think you learned enough. [laughter] But have you watched the movie where that heart goes flying in the air and then breaks a window and ends up in the body and he gets up like this.
(23:39) >> Which movie is this? >> It's a South Indian movie, right? It's like Telugu. >> X-Men. X-Men. Wolverine. >> In Kakish. What happens is that he eats a mic. He eats a watch. He eats a surgeon's watch. >> Is this true? >> Yeah. >> I have >> Yeah. He leaves the watch. >> The surgeon leaves the watch. >> And the surgeon is Akumar.
(23:58) Who is it? >> Karina. Karina. >> Oh god. Listen, all this rubbish ends up on my feed because Ra keeps liking these reels. I just watched a reel about some husband comes home and he's jealous of the watchman or something, so he dresses up as the security guard. >> Yes. Yes. >> This is a real show, bro. [laughter] Yes. >> I just want to know where I can watch it.
(24:20) Does anybody know? >> Okay. Wait, wait. So, so I'll tell you how it happens. Okay. It's It's a It's classic. It's classic. you know those uh those female gay soft pawn ideas where there's like a a big powerful billionaire so it's very wpad like it's like this and it's a ZTV cereal uh this guy comes in his uh Rolls-Royce into the bungalow which is a fancy bungalow and his wife is making pakodas and asking the watchman to taste it and then he says Mary Basa pakod if you heard any honey sing songs is a disgusting thing to hear.
(24:58) Okay, it's like what the [ __ ] is this guy saying? And then I reshared it and then Jose >> that's a notification I got from Instagram said Rolak has liked this 15 times. Please watch. >> I'm not the only one who watches weird [ __ ] dude. >> Yeah, I know. [laughter] >> Don't put this on me.
(25:13) I've seen the [ __ ] you watch. >> [ __ ] You've seen my videos only. Relationship cannot be founded on pity. The foundation can't be pity like oh let's live together. Oh, please don't tell that to my wife then. >> Sometimes it [laughter] can, I guess. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. She can just say, listen, I'm pregnant and it's not yours and this happened.
(25:35) Uh, >> bro, you know what she should say? She should say, I'm pregnant and it is yours. And he'll be like, when did I do this? She's like, oh, >> you guys are leaving too many avenues open. He'll say, >> I love you still. I'll be your father. No, be like I it was because obviously he didn't sleep with her. No.
(25:53) No, >> she can say I'm pregnant. And when you were away, the watchman came and I gave the pakodas. [laughter] >> Before we move on, I'm going to give a quick shout out to the sponsor OF THIS EPISODE, DISTRICT. YES, [cheering] >> everybody knows District. Yes, that's where you got the tickets for the show. Basically, District wants you to go out and explore and dine at restaurants.
(26:15) The proposition is that they want you to go to step out of the house, find restaurants, reserve tables, and pay via the app. And you will also get a 10% cash back on your dining bills for doing it. [applause] >> So now we're going to play a quick game. We're gonna set somebody up on a date. Two people up on a date and when they go out on that date, District will pay for your entire meal.
(26:39) >> Ron, I'm married. Sorry, I can't take part in this. >> Sorry. You guys going to take someone from the audience? Okay. >> I have to take someone from the audience. >> Thank you so much. >> I can I can participate. My relative will understand. [laughter] >> [music] >> Are there any women in the audience who want to participate? Yes.
(26:58) You want to participate? Yeah. Big round of applause. Yes. Are there any gentlemen in the audience? >> He wants. >> You want to come? Let's go. Come on. Come. Come. Come. Hi. So, >> how are you? How are you? >> Just be careful. These two already flirting over here. >> This is the rich man and the watchman pakoda story all over again.
(27:21) Okay, we got two people over here. Adushad. So, what do you do? >> I'm a singer. >> You're a singer? >> Yeah. >> Wow, that's nice. That's nice. What do you do? >> I'm my I come do shows and stuff. Ah, you not talking to me. [laughter] >> You can answer it. >> What do you do? >> I run my own company. >> Wow. Very nice.
(27:41) What company is this? >> It's an aggregator for sustainable products. So, when someone here said they upcycle clothes, I was pretty interested in it. >> So, I'm going to ask you guys five questions. All right. And then we'll see if both of you have the same compatible answer. And and if you guys are five out of five, then we'll set you guys up on a date wherever you want to go.
(27:58) [cheering] >> Are you the person who's usually 5 minutes late or are you the person who's 5 minutes early? Which one are you? Write it down on the board. Late or early? No copying. Okay. 1 2 3. Let's show the answers. If you had two good dates, it's your third date. one of the people I mean the person you're going on a date with either he proposes this idea to you or you propose this idea to him that hey we should wear matching outfits >> is that cringe >> but also what extent of matching like let's wear black t-shirts or is it like
(28:32) white with a rose coming out of your chest like >> it's all out okay 1 2 3 let's show it >> not cringe >> yeah like it's very cringe like of course it's cringe >> what's wrong like in twinning good yall will have lots to talk about this is working out. >> Nice. [applause and cheering] >> Opposites attract and all that, right? >> Would you rather be with someone who is uh honest or would you rather be with someone who sugar quotes and is kind? >> The real test is writing on the board like this.
(29:05) I forget, right? Yeah. Okay. Do we have both the answers? Should we do it? 1 2 3. Let's see it. >> Honest. >> Honest in a kind way. Hey, >> are you someone who stands on the side and waits to be pulled onto the dance floor or are you the puller? >> Are you the pulley or the puller? >> Are you the puller or the pulley? >> Sleepy.
(29:27) >> Let's see it. Let's see it. What does it say? >> He's a puller. >> He's a puller. Depends. >> Depends on the number of drinks I've had. >> Are you someone who has a hard stopper hanging out no matter what? Or you're like gym. Are you wipes or are you hard stop? Which one are you? >> No, it depends on who you're hanging out with.
(29:50) >> That's what I say. >> The It's a good wipe. Everything is good. Are you still going to be like, "No, gym is gym. Routine is routine." Let's do it. 1 2 3. LET'S SEE IT. >> WIVES. >> What's ours? >> Wipes. >> I'll give you two options. Either district gives you a 10,000 rupee voucher and you go out and you >> 10,000 rupees.
(30:07) >> Huh? >> Yeah. 10,000 rupees or if you guys have decided that you don't want to go on this date, okay, you can take 55,000 each and do your own thing. >> All right, let's go together. So, so you can write your [laughter] answer. >> My friends want to go on a date. >> Go write your answer whether you want to do this date or you don't want to do this date and then we'll we'll see.
(30:27) That's on you now. >> 1 2 3 Let's see it. >> Let's do it. >> Sure. I guess >> it's on. IT'S ON. [applause] >> WOO. WOO! >> My friends don't approve. >> Your friends don't approve. Your friends are going to hold you back for the rest of your life. >> I know. I've just sit somewhere else. >> I think you should upcycle your friends.
(30:48) [laughter] >> Listen, let them figure it out. They're going to go on a date thanks TO DISTRICT ONE MORE TIME. YES. [cheering] >> DOWNLOAD THE DISTRICT APP TODAY. YES. WOO. >> I'm 26M and I live with my girlfriend who is incredibly forgetful. I love her, but I'm constantly reminding her to lock doors, set alarms, bring her keys, etc.
(31:13) [laughter] We joke about it. I'm her external hard drive. The other night, I got home at 3:30 a.m. and found our front door wide open, not unlocked open. She'd come home, forgotten to close it, and fallen asleep. She had work at 6:00 a.m. I was mad. This is about basic safety. So, I woke her up and gave her a piece of my mind.
(31:37) [laughter] We We ended up arguing until she had to leave for work, exhausted and irritated. The burglar in the other room was very upset. I'm kidding. That's not over here. Now, somehow my reaction has become the bigger issue than her crime. >> Crime. >> What the hell am I supposed to do here? >> Is it a crime? >> It could lead to a crime.
(32:00) >> Lead the door open too much. She needs to go to the doctor. Like, this is a little scary, you know? >> Maybe she has a hole in her heart. Front door. >> What if she's like 55? >> 55 with >> Yeah. What if she's like 75? >> Yeah. With early signs of dementia or age gaps happen, >> correct? Sometimes they're pilots.
(32:23) [laughter] >> I mean, she could he could have told her next morning. How else do you explain the seriousness of irresponsibility? >> Just record a video at night. Brilliant. He used to dress up as a burglar [laughter] and take a video saying, "Baby, what the [ __ ] is wrong with you? How do we how can we remain married like this? I'm terminally Jose.
(32:54) " He's dressed up as a burglar and he's like, "Baby, why would you do this? Wouldn't [laughter] the wife watching this is watching this and saying, "Oh man, the burglar's wife is irresponsible." >> I would have had fun with it. So, I would have hidden all of his stuff, like my partner's stuff, and just had like be all like serious like you know, you left the door open and that happened and for one week see him all like scared and panic.
(33:19) Like I would do that >> like find the most expensive or precious thing that that >> I would hide it and then after a week I would do it. If I'm on a reality show where I need a teammate, that's her. >> No, use this to throw out her stuff which you hate and you've been wanting to throw out. >> Good idea. >> The thief came and threw out your brown t-shirt.
(33:39) >> Yeah, >> the thief came and now we don't have a child anymore. I don't know. >> I don't know what the [laughter] [ __ ] is going on. >> Oh my god. The thief came and took your mom away. The thief said, "How you are living like this?" They cleaned the house and they left. [laughter] Is he wrong to wake her up despite knowing that she's going to go to work? >> Absolutely.
(34:07) He could have waited for the next morning. And >> will the burglar wait till next morning, ma'am? >> But there was no burglar. >> But there could have been potentially >> could have so many could have things. He could have waited in morning and then had a fight and then she would have totally been at fault also. >> But it feels >> but now she has the upper hand.
(34:27) >> Oh, this way she's not totally at fault. Very nice, man. [laughter] I like this. >> It feels like this is an old pattern. He's like always battling with her about this. So it doesn't feel like it just happened this morning. >> Yeah, exactly. The fact that it was already building up. He should have done a full showdown. Now he messed up.
(34:45) >> Just [ __ ] her up right before she's leaving for office. >> Yeah, that's better. I mean when he said that she's wrong, she he woke her up, she could have just accepted that, yeah, it was my fault and gone back to sleep. >> That's true. All he wanted to hear was yes, you are being irresponsible. I am sharing this house with you 50/50 >> and I won't do it again and then it doesn't happen again.
(35:05) >> What happened? Something personal. >> Yes. >> You know how many mosquitoes are coming inside the house? [laughter] Forget burglars. Merch is a bigger problem. [laughter] >> To everyone who's saying that her like why would you ruin her sleep? My only point is his sleep is also getting ruined because me personally I would be scared to sleep in a house wherein I know that my partner could leave the door open.
(35:30) >> That's true. It's also his sleep >> and also he's coming back home at 3:30. He's not going to wake up at 6:00 before she leaves for office. >> Honestly, why is he coming home at 3:30? >> Who allowed? I'm nominating you as building secretary. Your vice president. >> Maybe she left a door open so that he doesn't come at 3 and does all this chabby and she wakes up.
(35:49) >> You know when you're drunk and you come back at 3:30. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to inconvenience the burglar. Leave the door fully open. Then it sucks. Now if you're a chore, you feel like already leaving the door open. >> Okay. If you had a super security in the building, would you then be like, "Okay, you kept the door open.
(36:13) " Or it could be a neighbor, right? Neighbor who's like, "Yeah, [laughter] guess what I found?" >> Even Seph had a safe building. >> You know, I was going to say, but I'm like, "Let's not go there." But >> this is no time to be doing puns, ma'am. Please. It's a serious discussion, >> bro. Bro, the amount of people who the minute Seth's thing happened were like unsust.
(36:40) We all thought of it, dude. Just let it be. [laughter] >> But you know, you are right about it that if I am a thief, if I enter a building and if I see four houses in on 12th floor and three the doors are shut and one the door is open. >> Correct. >> I would have my doubts about entering that house. >> I like this is a trap.
(36:58) This is really interesting. A burglar who doesn't rob anything but is super paranoid. Yeah, it's a trap. >> And he never commits any crime for the his whole life. >> He reaches the venue and backs out. [laughter] >> Yeah. He turns around, calls for the lift, and she goes, "Checkmate, motherfucker." [laughter] >> I mean, this is not good information for any burglars in my building.
(37:21) >> Burglars. >> But one time I left the key in the front door and my wife >> that. >> Yeah. And my wife got really upset and I thought I thought it's fair to be upset. So if she woke me up in the middle of the night and said, >> [laughter] >> I'd be like, "Yeah, this is on me." But >> start uh Hey, >> who's talking, dude? >> Whoa.
(37:41) Where? >> Who? >> I was up or down. >> Sometimes I can throw my voice, guys. >> Hi. Hi. Hi. Sorry. What's your name? >> See, the burger can come from anywhere. [laughter] >> You close the door, but they're there. >> He should start forgetting her birthdays and anniversaries so that she knows how annoying it is. >> What? >> That's very loud.
(38:00) What? So both of them are now a forgetful amnesia couple. What is this revenge? [laughter] Correct. It's it's 11:59 on her birthday. He's crying and he's like to next time will you lock the door [laughter] and he sings happy birthday [laughter] and all the burglars come inside from the door with a cake like [laughter] this is not about flaws this is about a security issue sir >> are you the irresponsible person when you're in a relationship >> not at all >> what are you like Jose I'm >> most of my life is close that door match
(38:43) and why is that G are on either light on same now I just have it recorded and I just play it from my phone [laughter] are on sorry same message >> right so you're the you're the one looking out for >> and you have to play it from your own phone you send it to them they won't play it you know I'm also like this I also keep correcting my wife you'll have the small thing you'll have the AC on or whatever correct and then the problem is If if in 6 months once if I leave it on >> then the revenge that she gets to take
(39:21) which is like oh you are the one correcting me let's talk about how you left it on then I have nothing to say then I'm like yeah >> I keep forgetting to switch off the AC switch off the geyser once my wife kept it on and I was like what is this nonsense but geyser and all this but door and geyser is not fine bush what he can explode geysers can explode >> gizers can explode if you leave them on is what my wife tells me every dayally Especially if you take a susta.
(39:45) >> What is worse than this? What is worse than this? >> On the news. Thank God for Trump, right? [laughter] Listen. Then you have to keep the door open also. [laughter] [music] WHAT THE [ __ ] DID I DO TO