Brutal Truth About Your Relationships || Acharya Prashant, BITS Goa

Brutal Truth About Your Relationships || Acharya Prashant, BITS Goa

Author Name:Breaking Free

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@AP_BreakingFree

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W92Qqe6zvYo



Transcript:
(00:00) with my own parents. I'm not able to have a proper deep conversation. They do listen to me, but it does not feel Don't participate in random stuff. That's it. If you're a cancer patient and I'm discussing the stock markets with you, then am I your friend? If a relationship can sustain on falseness, it will continue to sustain on falseness.
(00:26) Challenge the relationship itself. That [music] might be the only way of helping the other. But that's difficult. That's demanding. See whether you are loving enough to do that. It demands a lot of love. Hello sir, I'm Yash. I read one of your quotes. If you want to test a relationship, if you want to test the quality of your company, start talking real stuff with them or just start blocking the nonsense.
(00:57) Um in most of life, whenever I've had discussions or conversations with anyone, whenever there's a surface-level discussion or something that is not diving deep or something related to lies, then everyone wants to pitch in into it. They want to give their own opinions, their own beliefs. But whenever I start to put facts on the table, truth on the try to put the truth on the table or question them, the discussion stops.
(01:28) They don't want to pursue it further. Um a recent example of this can be with my own parents. They are very workaholic. Whenever I try to tell them about their health, they should focus more on their health, they try to avoid the discussion. We'll talk about this at a different date, for example. And then the date never comes. So, in that case, there's no discussion.
(01:55) I'm not able to have a proper deep conversation with someone who I have a relationship or I supposedly have a relationship if I believe it. And if I try to sugarcoat something and try to have a discussion, they do listen to me, but it does not feel as deep enough as a proper conversation which we might have now. So, how do I go about this problem? You don't participate in random stuff. That's it.
(02:30) If I can't have a truthful discussion, I won't have a false one either. Simple. Obviously, you cannot force anyone, let alone parents, into a discussion. That you cannot do. Basic civility. But then you two can't be forced to participate in gossip. That's it. Let there be silence. But then even I have some worries, like maybe this is a biological response for years of them caring for me.
(03:05) Maybe it's a response Your your silence will be your empathy. It will tell them how much you care. If you you Sir, if you are a cancer patient and I'm discussing the stock markets with you, hm? When you have been very reluctant to have even a proper diagnosis, then am I your friend? Am I your friend? No? The the least I can do is not participate in in in frivolous discussion.
(03:52) And that will tell them something else is important. Something else is important. So what um again, extending to this, now currently I'm in the campus and they are at home. And I have other family members as well. So since they uh we've never had a proper deep discussion or I cannot be sure that other family members will question them the same way I do.
(04:21) Maybe there's an echo chamber like effect uh between them and they never get out of this cycle and they don't question themselves um as much as maybe I would. So within the short time spans during vacations or whenever I call them and try to have discussions. Is there some way I can maybe try to at least make them question themselves? There is a way.
(04:54) But it's a demanding way. Hm? You see, if a relationship can sustain on falseness it will continue to sustain on falseness. Right? And in such a relationship it will be very difficult to bring the other to the truth. You're getting it? Now the way will be to put the relationship itself at stake. You see, if I am somebody
(05:42) who does not want to confront the fact of my own physical situation. Mhm? How truthful would I be with respect to someone who is my physical, psychological, and economic product? You want to address the other person in the relationship, and you want to address the one because of the relationship, right? He's my friend, or he's my father, or she's my mother, so I want to help them.
(06:27) What if the very foundation of the relationship prohibits any truth in the relationship? Because the relationship itself is founded on No, if you Yeah, biology, physicality, many things. Now, if you want to bring the truth to the other, it might be needed that you challenge the relationship itself. Bringing the truth to the other means challenging the false, right? The relationship itself is false.
(07:03) So, relation- challenge the relationship. That might be the only way of helping the other. As long as the relationship can survive with haze, it will continue to prefer the haze. Only when there is an ultimatum that if we do not clear the haze, we will lose the relationship. Then the other is like forced to wake up, acknowledge, talk at least.
(07:45) Hm? We are sitting here. And and in that sense you have a relationship right now, right? We are interacting, so there is a relationship. Now, suppose you all start spewing gibberish at me. Hm? Ultimately, what result do I have? I'll have to get up and walk away. And I'll say, "See, so many of them are there.
(08:15) It's a matter of our collective time. So many man-hours are being invested in this process. But you don't want to listen, right? How do I communicate to you? How do I communicate to you that that this is important? Ultimately, how do I communicate? I'll have to get up and at least pretend to walk out. No? But that's difficult.
(08:44) That's demanding. See whether you are loving enough to do that. It demands a lot of love. Ironical, no? Threatening to disrupt a relationship actually demands a lot of love in the relationship. Otherwise, you'll have to say, "I love you too much to let this kind of relationship continue." Just download the Acharya Prashant app, and there you go to the community section.
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