This is the new reality of Divorces : AC • TV • FOOD • HOLIDAY Divorces | Md. Fazl | Honest Hour

This is the new reality of Divorces : AC • TV • FOOD • HOLIDAY Divorces | Md. Fazl | Honest Hour

Author Name:The Honest Hour with Shashank

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@TheHonestHourwithShashank

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--zjxrUzqSY





Title: This is the new reality of Divorces : AC • TV • FOOD • HOLIDAY Divorces | Md. Fazl | Honest Hour

Author Name: The Honest Hour with Shashank

Description: What is happening to modern marriage?

From arranged and forced marriages to open relationships, Double income no kids/SINK couples, infidelity, rising divorces and living apart together, marriage and relationships are changing in ways many people never expected.

In this episode of The Honest Hour, M. S. Shashank speaks with Md. Fazl, Academic Expert, AKS IAS, about traditional marriage systems, modern relationships, why marriages are becoming expensive, emotional support from AI, and the changing reasons behind divorce.
Is marriage changing — or are our expectations of marriage changing? From expensive weddings to taking loans for marriage, the episode explores how financial pressure can affect relationships and family life.

This is not just a conversation about marriage. It is a conversation about how society, money, technology and changing expectations are reshaping relationships.
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🔥 What You’ll Learn:
✅ Arranged vs Forced Marriage
✅ Open Marriage, Double income no kids & SINK Couples
✅ Why Are Divorces Increasing?
✅ AC • TV • FOOD • HOLIDAY → The New Kind of Divorce?!
✅ Why Are Weddings Becoming So Expensive?
✅ Can AI Provide Emotional Support?
✅ Infidelity & Cheating in Marriages
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⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 - 01:47 - Introduction
01:48 - 05:18 - Why Does Society Get Involved in Marriage?
05:19 - 11:55 - Arranged Marriage or Forced Marriage?
11:56 - 14:27 - Types of Marriages
14:28 - 16:59 - Son of Soil Theory: Property & Inheritance
17:00 - 18:44 - Matrilineal & Matrilocal Families
18:45 - 20:03 - Tribal Marriage Systems
20:04 - 21:59 - Polyandry: Women Marrying Brothers
22:00 - 24:37 - Cross-Cousin vs Parallel-Cousin Marriage
24:38 - 26:00 - Sororate & Levirate Marriage
26:01 - 27:52 - Basic Functions of Marriage
27:53 - 29:41 - Parenting Marriage & Solo Marriage
29:42 - 32:31 - Open Marriage
32:32 - 33:58 - Cheating & Infidelity
33:59 - 37:20 - Double income no kids & SINK Couples
37:21 - 39:23 - Having Kids as Old-Age Insurance
39:24 - 41:04 - Living Apart Together (LAT)
41:05 - 44:46 - What Can Khasi Society Teach Us?
44:47 - 47:07 - Types of Relationships
47:08 - 51:41 - Family vs Household: Understanding Kinship
51:42 - 52:25 - Why Are Divorces Increasing?
52:26 - 56:11 - AC • TV • FOOD • HOLIDAY → The New Kind of Divorce?!
56:12 - 01:00:02 - Why Has Marriage Become So Expensive?
01:00:03 - 01:01:03 - Taking Loans for Marriage
01:01:04 - 01:03:33 - Can AI Provide Emotional Support?
01:03:34 - 01:07:10 - Force in Marriages
01:07:11 - 01:11:11 - Affairs in the IT Sector
01:11:12 - Conclusion
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🎙 Guest: Md. Fazl, Academic Expert, AKS IAS
🎙 Host: M. S. Shashank — Founder, AKS IAS Academy

🔗 Connect with The Honest Hour:
📸 Instagram:   / honesthour.shashank  

AKS IAS Academy: https://aksias.com/
🏫 AKS IAS Academy
📞 Contact: 95154 87979
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🎧 Subscribe to The Honest Hour for honest conversations on UPSC preparation, civil services, bureaucracy, public administration, defense, accountability, and the realities behind India's institutions.

#TheHonestHour#Marriage#Divorce#Relationships#ModernMarriage#OpenMarriage#ArrangedMarriage #Infidelity#SINK #Family #IndianSociety #ModernRelationships#AI#AKSIAS

Transcript:
(00:00) what we have earlier we don't have the similar form of marriage if you are capable financially economically we are very much stable they can perform the marriage this is what is religion has defined banda bat this is because all these three words are expenditures on the marriage why does society have to be involved in a marriage religion has not described any age restrictions when we come to our constitution has put some restrictions in India Most of the people take personal loans to perform marriage.
(00:33) Meeting the expectations of others, you're sacrificing yourself. >> Apart from marriage, what are the different types of relationships that we see? >> Illegal relationships. This sector has a lot of impact of westernized culture and these are the sectors which will run very fast with technology making use of AI.
(00:52) So are these arranged marriages really free or is we can call it something called as a forced marriage. Number of divorces that we're seeing in the society. So what is a trend and why do we see this trend of growing number of universes? To help us provide you better content and get innovative guests, please do like, share and subscribe to our channel, the honest hour with Shashank >> Puzzle S. Welcome to the podcast.
(01:22) >> Thank you sir. Thank you so much. >> How are you? >> I'm good. Very good. So today we'll discuss about the different types of marriages and also different types of family that we see in Indian society and how it has evolved over a period of time. >> So we'll also touch upon some sociological aspects. >> Yes.
(01:39) >> As well as related to the common man's livable or living experience about family and marriage as a social institution. >> So like uh let's look at the Indian part of it. Whenever we talk about marriage, people say it's a personal choice. But when two individuals plan to get married or two families are actually looking for a prospective marriage proposal, they look at the cast, they look at the religion, they look at the financial background, they also look at the social background. So a lot of things come into
(02:08) picture. So now the question is why does society have to be involved in a marriage? Many people have this question. >> Yes. See firstly marriage definition is very simple. Okay. >> But the form of the marriage is complex. >> Mhm. >> Form of the marriage has evolved. There are different forms of marriages. >> Like >> there are different forms in terms of how many number of spouses you choose.
(02:35) >> Mhm. >> As a single spouse, multiple spouse, men choosing multiple women, women choosing multiple men or having a group marriages. So there are different forms of marriages which have evolved or maraging marriage with is within the same village out of the village marrying upper cast or marrying lower cast.
(02:58) >> Right? >> These are the different forms >> forms are complex >> but the marriage and the institution of the marriage is very simple. >> Mhm. >> What is the definition of marriage? It is a socially, culturally and legally recognized institution. >> Okay. where two people wanted to live together and have a proper commitment.
(03:17) This is the simplest definition of a marriage which is accepted by society which is universal that means accepted in every part of society. >> On the on the other side, religion will also define what is called as marriage. >> Absolutely. Religion may take the similar attributes what the society takes >> but religion say those who wanted to get married at the early stage if they are capable of if they are capable of can go ahead but religion has not described any age >> age restrictions but when we come to our
(03:49) constitution when we come to our legal entitlement then constitution or our law has put some restrictions on getting married with this age group. >> Okay. So understanding the Indian society the constitution has put some restriction we respect that and understanding the puberty or trying to have capability to get engage or reproduce okay and taking care of the psychologically and uh emotionally and physically then religion has put some order on the marriage and definition but as you have asked about why do people
(04:23) have so much of expectations on the marriage system >> anidi it depends on the what form of the marriage you look into what category of marriage you want because over a period of time in traditional society we have simplest form of marriages. >> Yeah. >> As you move forward now the marriage have become very complex.
(04:43) >> So when the complexity increases expectations increases. >> Yeah. >> When expectations increases you have to reach the demand of everyone. And it is not possible to reach the demand of everyone. At least we'll try to reach to a limit. M >> the first and the most important expectation is are you marrying in the similar religion or not? >> The first important thing is are you belonging to similar religion? Are you not belonging to similar cast? Because marriage will lead to reproduction.
(05:14) >> This reproduction will carry forward my religion and cast in my absence. >> Right? >> That is how the hierarchy will go on. >> Mhm. >> So religion is an identity. Cast is an identity. Religion and cast both will carry pride and the marriage is only tool which will help me to increase my number. >> Take my identity which is an ultimate goal.
(05:41) >> Mhm. >> Because most religions say that marriage is the purest to form and it is very sacred >> and this sacredness has to be carried within the religion and cast. So the major expectation of the society is first are you getting married within the religion or not within the cast or not. >> Yeah.
(06:01) So it also leads to cultural continuity. >> Exactly. >> In most of the society >> to carry. Are you not in a position to carry a tradition or not? >> Yeah. >> So no parents want mixed culture. >> They want what we are practicing that has to be inherited and that has to go forward. >> Yeah. Got it. Got it. So to continue that marriage is compulsory to reproduce and have the young ones who can carry in your presence and absence create an identity in the religion and the cast and which is acting as an compulsory asset. So marriage plays an important
(06:35) role to happen all these things. >> Got it. Gotcha. >> So as you said like uh family or societal involvement in marriage is so strong. The next obvious question is uh there is something called as arranged marriage. >> Yes. >> So are these arranged marriages really free that is when when we say arranged marriage does it depend on the choice of the person or is or we call we can call it something called as a forced marriage.
(07:00) So this question falls under the complexity of the marriage. >> Okay. >> And its forms, >> right? That means what type of marriage it is going to be because in society we have different types of marriages. One is arranged marriage. >> Second one is law marriage. Third one is forced marriage. >> Next one is child marriage. Next is arrangedly forced marriage.
(07:17) >> Arrangedly forced. >> Forced marriage. >> So >> and also marriage by alopment. Marriage by eloping means running away from the society because you are in a fear of that your people or the village especially don't will not accept you. >> So you will run away from the society. This is one type of marriage you get to see in the society.
(07:37) But when you come to the one by one the first type which is arranged marriage we take you the traditional the arranged marriage from traditional to present it has become again from simple to complex. >> Law marriage also it has become simple to complex. So every form or marriage >> only the definition of marriage is simple. >> Yeah.
(07:56) >> But the type or the form of marriage right from the traditional society the prison society if you check the things have become very complex. >> Okay. >> Love has become very complex. >> Running away also become very complex. M >> eloping or the arrange if you take the arrange case in simple society where men will get a chance to look at the woman >> on a particular ceremony >> right >> where the family members of women will try to show the bride to the groom >> only with certain rituals >> this is simplest form of society
(08:33) >> but these arrange marriage now have become very complex and unique where parents will go and decide and talk >> but these set of people who are going to get married >> they get interacted before the marriage and they'll know better to them and although the ceremonies or rituals have been performed no doubt in that there is actually making them little bit complex which means what what we have earlier we don't have a single form of >> h now if you take forced marriage.
(09:07) Forced marriage is not based on consent. >> Okay? >> Whether you like or not, we really love it. >> Nowadays, forced marriage is also being accepted in the society because parents said yes, I'm saying it. Yes. I don't know what does he do because my parents would have seen a better choice. >> I have nothing to do with this.
(09:30) But I'm ready to marry. >> Sometimes there is a pressure also, right? >> It creates stress also. M >> it creates a stress also. You don't know anything where about a person. You start knowing him only after the marriage. >> Yeah. >> This is one type of marriage. Forced marriage. >> Forced marriage is because of helicopter parenting.
(09:51) >> Helicopter parenting means the parents will decide what is right for you and you have no choice. I'm saying yes, you accept it. Yes. That's it. >> Because I'm a well-wisher. >> You're born to me. I'll take care of you. I know what is right to you. >> Okay. >> So this is a force. There are another forced of forced marriages.
(10:13) Forced marriages arranged a type. >> Okay. What is this? >> Forced marriage arranged type means you don't want to get married but because of the parental pressure you are married >> and it is arranged. >> Okay. >> And willingly I don't want to marry >> but I'm getting married. >> So arranged with forceful. Hm.
(10:34) Second forcible that means I wanted to get married so I like her without her consent that is yes or not I'm going to marry her. M >> this is one form >> ghost marriage ghost marriage you can think or marriage you can think >> that I wanted to marry her at any cost that's it >> do anything without her consent yes or no she has no choice >> and I'm going to marry her >> this is one type >> okay >> and this is a worst form of marriage >> m >> and the next one is child marriage in India we call child marriage but child marriage is actually a form of forced
(11:12) marriage >> child forcible marriage a child forced marriage so not getting a right age but we get to see in Rajasthan Hana exceptional examples where most of the young kids are getting married and that used to be the practice earlier but now it has come to a limit that is the reason we can say the forms of the marriage are becoming completely complex >> but all these types all these types what I have said do exist in the traditional societies it's not knew it used to exist earlier but these forms of society over a period
(11:52) of time they have become complex. Got it. Got it. So till now we have been discussing about most of the socially recognized marriages but there's also different types of marriages which most of the people don't know. So can you tell the different types of marriages? >> Different types of marriages depends on the number of spouses.
(12:11) >> Okay. like we have monogami, polygeni, polyandry and group marriages. >> Okay. So monogami is one of the most uh defined form what you get to see in the society where men and women get married recreate and their as I said religion cast will continue and uh consider as a most accepted form in the so I'm saying it accepted because most people tend to follow that >> recognized religiously recognized culturally accepted >> and this form continues over a period of This is actually what we get to see in this generation
(12:52) >> one spouse. >> Yes. >> So polygeni where one man is getting married to multiple women. >> Okay. >> We get to see practice in most of the Islamic religion. We're accepting multiple women and polyandry one woman getting married to multiple men. >> Yeah. Most communities, the tribal communities practice in nilig region, toas etc.
(13:22) >> And group marriages, group marriages means what? >> Group of men, group of women, they get married and leave together. H >> they form a family. >> It's like a dormatory kind of marriage. >> Exactly. And communities like Onidita community of USA. Okay, >> they follow these practice still. >> So group marriages there is no legally entitlement.
(13:52) You are married to one particular person. They all live together. Domestic responsibilities are shared. Their basic occupation is clearly categorized. >> Okay. >> And all these people will recreate >> the next coming generation. >> So why do they practice this land rights? Okay. >> Property inheritance, >> togetherness, belonging to one particular community, one family, staying together, right? >> And this generation will go on.
(14:25) >> Mhm. >> So like somewhere land, property and inheritance are also major reasons for these kind of marriage systems or forms to evolve. >> Yes. >> See, even in India, if you take the case, there's a concept called a sun of soil theory. >> Okay. Son of soil theory means after me my son has to take care of my assets.
(14:46) >> Mhm. >> This was this came into limelight during green revolution. >> Yeah. >> Green revolution changed the practice of marriage and inheritance which means preference of the male child increased. M >> after me I should have a male child so that my property my assets belongs to my male child and if he gets married he can actually add more assets to my wealth.
(15:14) >> So that can actually make me more wealthier >> in a patriarchal society this preference for male child and the male line of inheritance was always there. >> Yes. uh based on traditions or the cultural practices that is there. But green revolution in fact as you are saying with some uh sociological uh empirical studies it also increased this pattern.
(15:36) >> Yes. Green revolution has made a preferences of the male domination of the male. M >> even if you take a property because we when we're talking about the property when you want to save the property the son has to the one who is a originator we can say or the leader we can say or a person who going to take forward the assets.
(15:59) So my preference will be the son. >> So whenever like uh you know the primitive form of patriarchy where it evolved also yes >> they say it evolved because of this control over property. property. >> Once people started uh having private property, that's where the control over property, control over women, that's where the patriarchal mindset actually as a as a social institution, patriarchy got uh deeply entrenched with this.
(16:23) >> Exactly. >> Yeah. So that's the reason why in Punjab and Hana you see adverse child sex ratio when compared to other states >> preferences of the male domination of the male patriarchal mindset >> rituals culture everything is male dominated >> which includes property >> but when you come to see other states >> they don't have south India we don't have that practice >> uh it is much less sir >> exactly >> so patrolinear could be but here malinear M local >> AO local.
(16:57) So >> what is this material and material local if you could explain it in layman terms common man terms >> which means carrying your surname of your mother. >> Okay. >> Properties on the name of your mother. >> Okay. >> Household responsibility decision making will be by the mother. >> So >> we see this in this uh >> multilineal society.
(17:18) >> Yeah. Like in Kerala we have several >> exactly northeast also we have these cases. Yeah is one best example carrying the mother's surname. >> Y so you don't carry just the mother surname. >> The authority is of the mother. >> Marriage, rituals, practices decided by mother. >> Father do have role but mother role cannot be defined in this.
(17:42) It is not limited. >> There is something called a matrio. >> Yeah. What is that? Matri local means which has been practiced in Megallaya the regions of Jentia Kasi okay and uh go regions where the tribes practice this matrio matrio means woman after getting married she'll stay with their family >> men to whom she has married he will act as a guest >> okay >> so woman stays with her family >> especially And the men will act as an guest and will try to uh get in always as a guest in their family but woman takes a very major role in the family and that
(18:29) woman's brother >> will be a decision maker in their family. >> Got it? >> So the father's role is very limited. >> So these are the practices which are followed in the tribal societies >> in the regions of Megala. That's the reason that's why tribals have the purest form of marriage and different forms of marriage.
(18:48) >> Mhm. M >> and they don't care about what urban society think over. >> Yeah. >> We have this traditional this is what accepted in our nature and we go with it. >> Mhm. So like most of their social institutions or most of their cultural practices they're very much in tune with the nature and the natural processes.
(19:09) They embrace nature and also like they also re nature sacred groups concept and all that. So that's how even the forms of marriage that they have evolved which are so unique according to us. >> Yes. >> But it is what actually that they have evolved over a period of time by being so close to nature.
(19:27) The tribal system of >> there are certain tribal societies as I gave an example now basically in the northeast >> where the youngest daughter will be decision maker. >> Okay. youngest daughter in the family. She was the decision maker and she holds the property rights. >> That's phenomenal. >> Yes.
(19:47) So we don't get to see that kind of practices anywhere in India >> except in northeast. >> Mhm. >> She will hold the assets and she's the decision maker. She'll decide what is right and what is wrong. >> And that is only practiced in the northeast >> not in other forms any other states. M >> and like uh if you give if you could give some specific examples when we talk about this uh novel types of marriages to marriages to polyandry is a classic example where the relationship of father wife and brother this is very uh different in nature. Can you explain
(20:21) about it? >> See polyandria >> which means what one woman >> is getting married to different men. >> Absolutely. There are certain societies where woman is being married to brothers. >> Okay. Own brothers. >> Own brothers. >> Okay. >> We get to see ner community in Sudan, Ethiopia. >> Okay. >> Same attributes carried in India also.
(20:50) >> The African continents in Sudan and Ethiopia. >> Ethiopia. Western Ethiopia. That is also been carried in India also. >> Mhm. >> Few of the tribes few practices. >> Okay. Women getting married to brothers. Biologically when the reproduction happens legal entity that means what? Legally, sociologically the responsibility of the kids lies with the eldermost brother.
(21:19) H >> remaining all will share the responsibilities. This has come into picture talking about could be your lineage or your descent or your property, your customs, your culture should carry forward and the family is not going to get scattered. >> The family is going to be together. >> Okay. >> So mostly we'll get to see the mainstream society when the brother get married you get to see more number of nucleated families.
(21:49) >> Okay. This is one form of the classic example of a joint family. >> Mhm. >> So this has been practiced in Africa and also in few areas of India. >> Okay. Now like why do we see that in certain areas the cousin marriage or crosscousin marriages are acceptable in India itself? >> Yes. >> But in certain uh regions or states it is a taboo.
(22:11) >> So why does this happen? Like what are these cross cousin marages actually and why do we have this different variations among the different types of marriages? We have cross cousin marriages and parallel cousin marriages. >> Okay. Can you explain that? >> Yes. Cross cousin marriage means you're marrying your cousin.
(22:29) >> Mhm. >> Who is actually your brother's sister's child or mother's brother child. >> Mhm. >> Cross cousin. >> Yeah. >> Parallel cousin means you're marrying your father's brother's child. >> Mhm. >> Or mother's sister's child. >> Right. >> Yeah. So this is the basic difference between a cross cousin and a parallel cousin.
(22:53) >> Few religious communities like Hinduism >> right >> or extended form of religions from Hinduism have accepted and promoted >> cross cousin marriages. >> Yeah. >> And we still practice. >> We see that in some parts of Andhra Pradesh. >> We see in India. >> Yeah. We see in India few of the societies do practice this.
(23:20) Basically in south >> they practice this but in north they do not allow this. >> Yeah. >> Marrying could be a cross cousins or a parallel cousin we consider as >> something a sin. >> Yeah. >> Not supposed to marry. >> You're not going there are certain societies you will not marry within the village. >> Yeah. >> Maybe it may continue your descent or lineage.
(23:41) M >> it may tag to your forefathers. So we don't want to get marriage within this particular society. >> So we wanted to go out of the society. This is one form of marriage. >> Mhm. >> Even also same go also they don't allow most of the northern community. >> Exactly. They don't allow >> but when it comes to Islam Islam has promoted the community the religion the sacredness.
(24:04) >> Yeah. considering it as sacred to get married for the cross cousins as well as the parallel cousins. So both are being accepted. >> Okay. Both are accepted. >> Both are accepted in Islam. >> Okay. >> Uh with respect to the marriage systems. >> So like uh we have discussed about uh crosscin marriages and different types of marriages like monogamous, polygamous, polyandry and also group marriages group marriages and stuff like that.
(24:33) Apart from that are there any more forms of marriages or types of marriages? >> Other extended forms we have like leate marriage we have. >> What is that about? >> Solorate marriage. We have liberate marriage means >> it is practiced only in a few societies where this is a type of unique marriage. In fact we can say it as a second marriage where after the death of wife >> okay >> you will marry a wife's sister. Mhm.
(25:02) >> In other form of marriage after the death of husband, you will marry husband's brother. >> Okay. >> Marrying the husband's brother by the widow liberate. Marrying the deceased wife sister is sorate. >> Okay. >> So these are the unique types of marriages >> which has been performed but in most of our society is not accepted.
(25:25) >> They don't accept this kind of marriage. So why do they get into these form of marriages? It's to maintain a existence of kinship relation. >> As I told you, property rights, wealth. >> Okay. And we child rights >> within the family. >> Yes. Biologically they can take care. >> Okay. Yeah. >> Biological component is very important.
(25:47) Who can take care? >> The known circle or the family? >> Yes. Known circle extend the family in the same format. >> Okay. >> But it is a marriage. End of the day it is again a marriage. H mhm so if the form of marriage can change the categories of marriage can change and vary across different regions and societies.
(26:07) Now one fundamental question is what is marriage actually for or what is the basic function of marriage? Basic functions are there right? If you could elaborate it for the audience. >> Basic function have someone togetherness. Togetherness is one important physical aspects is second. Inheritance is third, wealth generation is fourth.
(26:29) >> Okay. >> Where after marriage the wealth gets generated. >> Kinship ties. >> M >> based on that we have different uh varieties of marriages also. >> Okay. Solo marriage and uh company marriage, starter marriage, >> parenting marriage. First place firstly people get married for legal rights. >> Okay. >> To live together.
(27:07) >> That's so societal acceptance. >> Acceptance. >> Non-questionable >> legitimacy. >> Yes. >> Progenic which means reproduce. >> Yeah. >> Inheritance. M >> continue your kinship ties very important. >> Yeah. >> And wealth generation is one important factor after marriage. >> Wealth generation accumulation and preserving it.
(27:26) >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> So they are fundamental things what marriage is doing. Marriage is a great institution which will add so many things for you. Economical stability, emotional, >> physical, these are extended attributes which also get benefits because of marriage. Mhm. >> Along with this, how marriage can take a form? Parenting marriage, solo marriage, >> parenting marriage.
(27:58) >> Parenting marriage that means you're marrying with a person for the purpose of raising kids. >> Okay. Okay. Got it. >> You will not have any emotional bond with whom you're marrying. Aa but you want to get married only for the sake of kids >> raise the kids. >> This is called as parenting marriage. >> Okay.
(28:22) Okay. So uh a person is getting married to another person only with the expectation that they can uh create progeny. >> Yes. >> Get into the reproductive cycle. >> Yes. >> Okay. >> Solo marriage. >> What is solo marriage? >> Marry yourself. >> Marry yourself. Get rid of everything. Mhm. >> Be happy. Perform rituals. Make your parents accept that you are going to marry yourself.
(28:45) That means you have extreme love for yourself that you cannot share with others. >> Okay. You have any examples of this? >> We have an example of a person like a female married herself in Gujarat. >> Yeah. Recently, right? Like last year I guess. >> Exactly. She married herself. The main reason is she love herself >> a lot >> and uh independent is what she prefer to rather than depending on others and whatever the rights she have she don't want to share with others and she's happy >> calling your mother as mother-in-law >> okay
(29:17) >> sometimes you call your mother as mother-in-law father as father-in-law and you're happy >> okay like she's living that experience >> yes she's very happy now because >> through her own parents >> yes >> through her own self >> yes >> okay okay >> self marriage Mhm. Mhm. >> Parenting marriage. >> H got it.
(29:34) Like parenting is clear, solo marriage is clear. What was the other thing that you were mentioning about? >> Another form of marriage is open marriage. This is very interesting time. >> Well, recently like a few years back in coffee with Karan episode when Rani Singh and Deepipika Paraduk >> Yes. >> they attended the session as a guest. The debate about open marriage like it blew the internet like Deepika Parad mentions that in the initial stages of their relationship they were non-exclusive.
(29:58) Yes, >> they give space for each other. Now whether that is open marriage or not uh we do not know but so what is this open marriage about? >> Open marriage like we are coming up with a marriage agreement. >> Okay. >> Then a man and a woman gets married keeping in mind that we are open for everything. >> Everything in a sense.
(30:19) >> Everything in sense. We are legally entitled. >> Mhm. But we also accepting that any sort of relation which is extended from the man or the woman will also be accepted. >> So you can have any relation with any woman or men. >> So you have to accept it. This is called as open marriage. >> Okay. >> The society has come to very complex form where open marriages are also accepted.
(30:44) >> Means open marriages includes I can text to anyone >> and it should not offend you. >> I can date anyone. >> It should not offend you. M >> I can go on a trip to >> it should not offend you. So open marriage main intention is I can have any sort of physical relation with anyone and it is not questionable >> okay >> from my partner.
(31:08) So this is one form of the marriage. >> No like putting that in context. So marriage also involves a kind of uh sacrement especially in society if you look at there's also something called as fidelity the trust and faith between uh the spouses. >> Yes. >> Now now where does cheating come into picture in an open marriage? You have mentioned that the couple you know each of them each of the spouse has their they can have their own partner they can have their own uh relationships outside the marriage.
(31:38) Now doesn't it amount to cheating? >> When will it lead to cheating? Only when it comes into the picture that we perform a marriage legally to stay together. >> And we are bound which is a commitment towards each other. If a breaking this rule of not being together and trying to bring a third person in between us that leads to cheating.
(32:07) But in the concept of open marriage itself when you're making a contract of open marriage you are declaring both of them come to a mutual understanding that we are declaring that we can have a relation with any individual and it is not questionable between us and it should not be a debate between us but still we are married and we are happy we live together.
(32:33) So coming to this uh question about open marriage like uh where uh two spouses can have their own partners or they can have relationships outside their marriage doesn't it amount to cheating or uh violation of fidelity doesn't it amount to infidelity >> see in the marriage when it does it comes about cheating that means you're not disclosing something and other person has found it out >> okay >> where you are legally entitled and committed to one person and you are hitting the emotions of others M >> parallelly meeting someone else
(33:07) digitally or physically >> it is considered cheating. >> But in the concept of open marriage you yourself as entitled that we are open for any physical relationship with anyone. >> Okay. >> Physically. >> So parally you are maintaining could be any number of people. You're not questionable because your marriage and your contract of the marriage is made in such a way of non-questionable.
(33:32) >> Okay. >> And this is one form of marriage. >> They have some contract or something like that. >> It is not contract. It's an it's a basic and understanding between them. Two individuals sit like our mindset is this. we are happy with each other >> and we will be with each other and in any form if there is another person >> even if I don't disclose his order it should not hit the emotional aspects of the other individual or the spouse >> yeah till now we've discussed about marriage but uh in India most of the
(34:01) times marriage is treated as a package like once a person or the couple gets married the next thing is about kids >> yes >> right uh usually relatives or friends start asking the question when is the good news Yes. >> So but in recent times we seeing the trends that uh dink couples, sink couples etc.
(34:21) So what are these uh trends about? >> So first thing is about marriage and once as you said once you get married people started expectations that when are you going to give the good news? >> Always good news. >> Yes. Is there any good news or not? >> So people keep waiting because the elders of the family expect something from you >> that the family has to reproduce and it has to grow. Yeah.
(34:41) >> And it's an very healthy and wealthy occasion. >> Yeah. >> Now here expectations of the family most of them try to meet them >> have immediate child or try to delay based on their financial dependency. >> But there is a concept called as dink >> dk which means double income >> on the concept of no kids. Yeah.
(35:07) Here the individuals want to be independent in their financial autonomy, have a greater standard of living and try to prosper, grow, then think about the kids. >> Mhm. >> They don't take about their age, they don't talk about the age group. But the only the reality which is hidden behind is you have to have a great standard of living or be independent.
(35:35) And you have something called as nowadays they call checklist or book list or bucket list. >> They have so many things in their bucket. They wanted to meet and clear those bucket. Keep checking out that I want to go for a trip. I wanted to achieve this. I have to have a house. I should be so wealthy. Then I'll think over the kids.
(35:59) That means what income I hold now before the marriage or during marriage it has to get doubled. Mhm. >> So that can happen only with an emotional support from the partner. >> We'll work together. We'll make a proper house. Then we'll think about the kids. >> So this concept is acceptable. >> First become selfindependent and try to be wealthy then think about the kids.
(36:25) >> So double income no kids concept. >> There's also something called a single income no kids right. What is that about? >> Single income, no kids is all about your income is very low >> or one of the family member is earning >> dependency is very high. So you don't want to recreate any of the individuals who can be depending on you so that your expenditures does not match their returns or their demands, their aspirations.
(36:53) So for the period of time you delay because of your financial position. Once your financial position get enlarged over a period of time, you'll start thinking about the kids in the later case. The first case is you are financially stable and you wanted to increase your income and you want to delay your kids. And second case is you're financially nonstable.
(37:14) I mean you're not stable financially. Got it. >> And you wanted to delay the kids. >> Mhm. >> So this is a concept of income sync. >> Okay. Oh like in India why is having kids or having children still seen as a social duty? How will you go forward in your generation? How will you take yourself forward >> the way you are being taken care by your parents when you are young? The same way your kids will be taken care or the kids will take care of you when you are elder.
(37:42) >> So this is the basic essential part in the society and it is being transformed as a responsibility from one to another. H >> simple my father retired at the age of 60 for example. What will be his mindset? His mindset will be I should have children and my children should be engage in any of the activity provided he stand on his own legs and he supports the entire family and take the responsibility from my shoulder.
(38:18) So carrying forward your responsibilities. If I have two to three kids, the responsibilities will be shared. I was with certain economic stability that will be carried forward with my kids with a more stable >> or more stability. >> So having kids is compulsory. >> Like uh can we say that like having kids is like an old age insurance.
(38:44) >> So what is wrong in saying that? M >> it's better to be treated by your kids than by some agency. >> Got it. >> The emotional attachment what you have with your kids >> is quite different. Understanding what you have with the kids is quite different than with the agency who works for 10 to 5. >> True that >> who come for the daycare day take day take day take day take day take day take day take day take day take day take day care and is being paid with any with not having any emotional support >> but when you reciprocate your
(39:15) responsibilities that will come back to you with an emotional support I don't think so anything can replace that. >> Mhm. They rightly said sir like now like in today's times we see people are getting married but they're saying that they want their space right earlier times marriage meant people staying together doing things together and living under the same home now here we have something called as lat marriages also so what is this concepts about if you could explain it and what are the changes that we are seeing
(39:47) >> lat is nothing but living apart together >> this is mainly for maintaining your personal autonomy your space >> and also there are certain families like which are scattered that means kids live with mother and the father is abroad or could be in other states for example father lives in Bangalore working there >> in it but they don't want to relocate >> could be the responsibilities of the schooling of the kids >> or the responsibilities of mother being domestic or she is engaged in some activity so this is making them to leave
(40:22) apart they have a great emotional attachment to their family. >> Mhm. >> So this concept is evergreen. This concept is not new. This concept is evergreen. >> So both the parents may leave the wife and husband may leave at different locations. Parents that means they're not taking care of the kids but they have emotional attachment with the kids.
(40:44) The kids may live with their grandparents or any of those uh extended families but these would have been apart. I mean like the individuals would have been apart or the kids most of the time in the land will stay with the mother >> the father is elsewhere. >> So we we see in the every society these kind of uh families.
(41:04) >> Yeah. Like what does this kasi matalini teach us about power? Kasi matin is unique perspectives where woman has an identity in the family. >> Like woman has an identity in carrying any ritual. >> Mhm. >> Well, I told you two important elements in the tribal society. One is nature, other is woman.
(41:29) They even in Telangana the dominated festivals of the tribal we have women. >> Okay. >> As a leading role. >> Mhm. >> Samaka sarama what we have we celebrate is the great festival of the tribes which is from generations carried forward and dominated by whom? It's dominated by women itself. M >> and most women devotees participate in this take a leading role also in this.
(41:58) You take any form of festival in India basically >> women lead >> especially in Telangana women lead. >> Yeah. >> Could be in Dasara could be in Batukama women really because other side if you look at it could be a marriage or women taking a role of a lead in the tribal societies. It is 100% woman who is dominating in this particular societies in any of the form could be carry forming the custom rituals could be the any form of maintaining of the assets or trying to take a decision in the family because these are the societies
(42:34) which are basically agroeconomic there is a concept which is called as feminization of agriculture feminization of agriculture where females in the absence of men has taken a leading role >> that has been practiced in material societies especially in Gauasi and Jantaia and when you take the other societies like women will be moving to the husband's family husband is taking as a leading role but there are other societies also husband and woman even after woman moving towards the husband's house men and women both divide their
(43:17) roles roles in certain areas only men decides. >> Yeah, >> it depends upon the capability. It depends on the role you define yourself in the family and the ability to perform your work could be domestic. Performing a domestic work is not a small task. >> Absolutely. >> Raising the kids is not a small task. Menically, men psychologically does not have that patience and ability or a capability to raise kids.
(43:51) I believe raising kids by women especially our mothers is the biggest universal task which has to be paid because they sacrifice everything from the womb to the delivery and post delivery to raise the kids. This itself is the biggest responsibility of woman. So as you said woman in her premises or woman moving to the husband's premises role they carry the similar raising the kids which is a biggest task what they have post that you're taking a secondary role of being financially independent or trying to support financially to the
(44:36) family members will also a challenging task because these this works what you take is only an in addition to what you already have got by nature. >> Mhm. >> Having understood that from a sociological viewpoint apart from marriage what are the different types of relationships that we see? >> Marriage itself is a relationship.
(44:53) >> Okay. >> Which is defined >> absolutely >> accepted. >> Y >> legally entitled. Okay. Other than this we have monogous relationship which itself gives a definition of a marriage where men and women can live. Second one open relationship. Like pre the marriage you are going to define in the contract that we are going to marry for the purpose we leave together but anything which has been extended with any sort of relationship with others it is not questionable.
(45:19) >> Uhhuh. >> This is open. There is concept of living relationship. >> Mhm. >> Where two people come together stay together. If everything goes happy then we can stay or we'll just divide apart. This is living relationship. Next is distance relationship. You are in relationship when people are in distance but you have that emotional contact and support with people.
(45:39) There is something called as platonic relationship and you will come into this picture. Platonic relationship means a person who has a compassion, a person has definitely an empathy, sympathy and he has such a kind of emotional character where he sees himself in others. Identify the spark in others. He grows and let others grow.
(46:05) We can take an example of our institution also. Institution gives a platform to various set of people and institution is defined by a person whose mindset is I have to grow make others also grow. This is one of the best relation where the society is ascribing for. Right? It's called as platonic relation. And the other form of relation we have extreme is toxic relation.
(46:29) Toxic relation means not defining it properly, having a rude behavior. The mentality is different or trying to be narcissist person that is trying to portray yourself. You're always correct, not understanding others. M >> and there are other types of relations like acquaintanceships which means you're trying to have a relationship with your work members the place where you work and you have a relationship with >> and dating is one type of relationship which people may come to know each other before the marriage. So other than
(47:02) marriages we have multiple forms of relationship. >> Yeah fuzzle sir let's move on to something interesting that is about family and household. Most of the times both of these terms are interchanged and used in the similar context. But what exactly is family when we when we look at a sociological viewpoint and we'll also later look into what are the differences between family and household.
(47:22) >> See family is group of people living together having a bond or bloodly related >> or have a strong kinship ties. >> Mhm. >> So this resembles a family. >> Whereas a household >> that's what they call consanguinity. >> Yes. So when you talk about the household group of people may or may not have a kinship type.
(47:46) >> Absolutely. >> They live together >> but share a common kitchen. >> Mhm. >> So the standard universities say set of people living under a roof having a common roof but sharing a common kitchen then we call it as a household. Example PGs we have where set of students stay there have a common kitchen. M >> but they don't come from a single family >> right you see a lot of students in Ashokagar or Delhi like they rent out a place stay together they have a common kitchen they have uh you know activities together yes
(48:21) >> so during that period of time they are sharing a sense of bonding >> uh sense of responsibilities economic uh relationships with each other >> yes >> so that is what we call as a household >> household yes >> yes So family again it can be categorized into different types right? >> Yes it could be a small or a nuclear family >> based on the number of people and join family set of people living together >> extended lineated family >> like joint family living together have a common property.
(48:57) >> Yeah >> like the grandfather everyone sit together unite and they all have the property on their name. So this is only because they wanted to keep the family together >> coarsenary. >> Yes. So different types of families we have in our society. >> So in when we talk about households what are different types of households and what are the new emerging forms of households and the issues with households per se.
(49:22) See different types of household depends upon the number of people associated because the standard definition of the household itself is the number of members who are not having any blood relation but closely associated under one roof. >> Okay. So how large the household can be, how small the household can be but none of them has a proper blood relation.
(49:44) >> No. Now what are the common thing associated with household? They have a compassion. They have an empathy and sympathy towards each other. Understanding if they belong to the similar background for what purpose they are here because most of the household maximum of the strength you see people occupy with similar reason >> or UPSC students occupying a similar reason >> or people performing engineering.
(50:08) >> Okay. Or any of the group people stay or >> working woman hostel. >> Absolutely. >> Like people work from different areas try to share their experience. Mhm. >> So family has some experience emotional attachment whereas household may or may not have a emotional attachment but there is a compassion between the people who stay together >> and uh >> so it's more like a functional relationship >> functional relation for some particular purpose.
(50:34) >> They stay together they exchange their values. Okay. They share their experience, thoughts etc. >> Temporarily >> temporarily for a certain period of time. This comes under the household. So household will also create a wide experience and their share of their experience where people can grow better >> and can stay away from their family and learn things.
(50:57) >> So household has its own functional role. >> Household cannot be a negative in character. Family is not always a positive in character. >> Got it? >> Because the other sides of family where I said like helicopter parenting where students are the people or the young ones are not allowed to take their stand.
(51:16) are not allowed to take their choice. So choose their choice. So in case they come across the household, they learn new things. They get engaged with new people. They get habituated with the new environment. They learn, they share. >> That's how they grow >> in the household. So family has its own positives and negatives. The same way the household do has the positive and negatives.
(51:39) >> Mhm. >> Yeah. So having discussed about family, marriage and household. So one major question which we see regularly is about the growing uh number of divorces that we're seeing in the society. So can you explain why what is a trend and why do we see this trend of growing number of divorces? Marriages are performed to stay together for long period of time or forever.
(52:04) >> But over a period of time if there is no common understanding between the people that grows a differences like a spark >> and once the spark develop that develops into making of the cracks and the wall gets broken and that's how the people will divide apart. >> So there is no one particular reason for divorce.
(52:22) >> Got it. See interestingly I could say that divorce are of many types >> like we have discussed about the family marriage and relationships divorce itself has many types when we have like major divorce that people will try to be apart and they don't want it to be together that could be any reason this is major divorce >> and we have the concept of minor or micro divorce >> micro divorce means you live together you love each other but you don't have that interaction with each other this is called as micro diverse
(52:53) >> micro diverse >> this is growing in the society true >> the role of micro diverse is increasing trend in the society >> micro diverse could not be because of one reason again >> micro divers are of different types and every type is because of some reason >> for example airport divers >> people travel yes airports >> so people travel >> to airport till there they are together from there the roles and responsibility changes they are apart this is called as airport divers >> okay >> we also have roommate divorce.
(53:25) >> Mhm. >> We don't talk. We stay together. >> Okay. >> We are in the part of a family. >> Okay. >> We are married and we don't talk to each other. This is called as roommate divorce. >> There is something which is called as TV divorce. >> Okay. What is this? >> You're not watching TV or television together. You are married.
(53:44) You are happy. But you don't interact because we quarrel and we don't we get apart for a temporary period because you have your choice of watching a TV and someone has a choice of watching a TV. >> Got it? >> So this in this case whenever someone watch a TV you'll watch alone because you will not make my preference.
(54:01) That is the reason we are set apart. >> Yeah. >> We called as food divorce. >> That means choices. Yes. Based on the food choices. >> Okay. >> People get have their own option of having a food. could be a nonvG within a nonv could be a wedge within a wedge you have categories and people divide so you have TV remote we have AC divorce AC divorce again few people wanted to be under certain temperatures few people don't want to get into that particular temperature and you don't live together in that room because he prefer and for
(54:36) some temperature so temperature is also dividing people this is one option >> okay so we have foods we We have TV, we have uh airport divorce. >> M >> and we have different types of divorce again. So the one interesting divorce which is micro where people talk together uh which is uh holiday divorce. >> Okay. >> Holiday divorce means you have a preference of going to your holiday spot in one place.
(55:04) >> I have a preference of another. This is called as a holiday divorce. >> Mhm. That means you are married, you wanted to stay together, you are happy but your choices are different. >> Got it? >> And this is one part of micro divorce like people travel solo leaving your partner at home. >> Okay. >> So this is one type of divorce.
(55:24) So what comes into the limelight is major divorce where people don't interact any more from here on. >> So they're legally separated. >> Yes. Legally separated. >> Yeah. But at the micro level forms of divorces micro divorce is temporary. M >> we love each other but we have committed to few things where acceptance is always not in particular towards each other.
(55:47) >> Mhm. >> So we get recognized based on our own choice but the other entity which may act a force on you may not like it. >> Got it? >> So we don't talk for TV AC remote roommate travel. So there are so many types of divorce where a student has to understand. >> Got it. Got it. List throughout our discussion like about marriage and its forms and the issues that we are seeing in marriage.
(56:15) One aspect that you were always trying to mention is the complexity of marriage that we are seeing in the recent times. And apart from the complexity, the economic burden or the costly affair that marriage has become on this also there are several sociological studies and also uh several people it's a lived experience right.
(56:36) Sometimes marriages turn out to be a burden for the families. Some families are pushed into poverty because of marriages also. So how do we look at this? >> As I said marriage itself is a social status. >> The way you perform marriage that has to be unique and should set example for others >> especially in urban lands. urban >> and also in rural now whereas this westernized culture of performing a marriage from urban >> has been showing a lot of impact on the rural also >> right >> so there's no change in the marriage pattern in the urban and rural I only
(57:11) spoke about the simple marriages which are performing a tribal we have to respect that we take those as an example >> every religion has defined marriage in a very simplest form perform a marriage in a such a way that should not be a burden on the girls family. If you are capable, a boy's family is a capable and they are capable financially, economically, they are very much stable, they can perform the marriage well off.
(57:40) So this is what is religion has defined. But over a period of time as social status and complexity has increased people started looking at the marriage with a different like in a prism that mean the ray of light has to come from the various direction. >> Got it? Which means marriage is not only complex >> but status >> if someone is getting married that means people's expectations has gone very very high as I said banned baja bat >> this is because all these three words are expenditures on the marriage >> right now yes nowadays marriage
(58:20) is involved with lot of institutions >> you Take matronomic could be the website or could be an app. >> Yeah. >> They will charge you. >> Yeah. Matrimonial websites. >> To interact they will say that we'll make a person sit the family sit and we have an this option of interacting people. >> Mhm. >> We will choose a profile as per your standards.
(58:40) >> Got it. >> This itself is one institution which is making lot of money. >> Makes sense. >> And the second marriage ceremony is performed not by the family members but a third person. Third institution is taking care of this. >> Yeah. So these institution will perform the marriage and they got the ratings and they don't perform free of cost they charge a huge amount to perform the marriage >> and very important destination wedding >> destination wedding is very important for those people who maintain the status
(59:21) if you're marrying in the same location people question that Why? Why are you getting married here? Can't you go abroad? To meet their expectations, people travel taking their family members and extended family members to various location and get married there remotely and stating that we don't want the influence >> of any media or any sort of extended people.
(59:44) >> Yeah. >> True. >> And this is actually creating a social expenditures and they are setting an example on simple marriages. Yeah. >> So these simple marriages are getting influenced. Why not we? >> Do you know when it comes to >> the fear of missing out also is there? >> Exactly.
(1:00:03) Do you know if I talk about the financial expenditures on the marriage >> people start taking loans to perform a better marriage. >> There is no concept of simple marriage. Those days of simple marriages have gone. >> Now people take a financial assistance from the bank to perform a marriage. M >> they end up paying up loans. >> Yeah. >> So imagine the marriage breaks.
(1:00:27) >> You're not satisfied with the marriage and your expenditures are increasing with respect to interest. In India, most of the people take personal loans to perform marriage. >> Yes. >> Meeting the expectations of others, you're sacrificing yourself. So marriage has to be in simple but not in a very complex way.
(1:00:48) This makes people to fall forcibly into poverty or make them to have a lower standard of living because of few commitments which you make end up yourself into poor category >> or unnecessary expenditure category. >> So considering all these aspects we have other set of people for example looking at all these aspect people say that I wanted to stay alone.
(1:01:16) M >> be happy be independent. Solo gami what example I have given >> there are other categories of people who make use of AI >> to make theel happy >> AI and chat GPT or any of the applications are playing a very important role to give you an emotional support. >> Yeah. >> The robos you get a men you get and woman where they have that emotional attachment towards you. You don't require a spouse.
(1:01:44) Uh-huh. >> They will try to give you everything what you want. >> The AI is developed in such a way nowadays you you you have a little societies or few societies which are following this and this will be enlarged to rest of the world where marriage will be in the books. But most of the things which are performed the marriage AI can replace it.
(1:02:08) A can generate and read your mindset and can produce what you actually need. What are your physical needs? What are your psychological needs? What is your preference? Based on the preference, I can create. How does you want he to be, she to be, >> beautiful, handsome, I can create? I can give it.
(1:02:34) That's why AI can replace marriage also. And when you talk about the relationship what you said >> most people in countries like Japan, China etc. we don't want to get married. >> Yeah. >> But when we go out we want it to be very secure. >> So we'll hire we'll hire a boyfriend. >> Yeah. >> There are so many apps which are also got developed >> making etc.
(1:02:59) >> Recently >> just hire a boyfriend, hire a girlfriend. For what purpose? to show that you are engaged, you're no more single and you are secured with him and you have to show a status. >> So hire a boyfriend, hire a girlfriend. Exactly. In social events, you don't want to be single. >> There there could be so many positives and negatives out of it.
(1:03:20) >> Yeah. >> But you hire it and you get paid. >> So this is one form of the relationship and this is one form of the marriage where AI will replace everything. That's why I said marriage was simple that has become very complex. >> Mhm. Mhm. This certainly sums up how the changing forms of marriages we are seeing in the recent times and the changing trends as well.
(1:03:41) Apart along with this we see the new trend where violence is being inculcated in in the marriages where uh a partner is killing another partner. The reasons could be several but why do you see this trend evolving? >> See not all marriages leads to killing. >> Yeah absolutely. Huh? There are few marriages here and there leads to killing and that will spread like a wildfire in the society.
(1:04:05) >> True. Who are you killing? I mean like the men is killing women. The woman is killing like men. It is being spread like a wildfire. >> But this is not something new. This has been from generations. It is happening. But it has come to the limelight because of the social media. widespread of social media which has an accessibility to every corner of the society which is spreading the news very rapidly.
(1:04:31) So psychologically over a period of time when you do want to get rid of a person could be male or female they have got the social stigma taboo they carry over a period of time >> and the only way where I can choose my partner or leave my partner >> is to marry him >> or leave the one whom I'm engaged or leave the one who I'm already married because not allies will accept open relation >> as we discussed.
(1:05:03) >> So in such cases >> the only way where I can commit to the other person or wanted to stay happily with other person is psychologically making me to get rid of other person could be men or women. >> So the only option left with me is whether he's loyal or not try to set aside him and try to get access to the new one. Mhm.
(1:05:24) >> This reason of try to be engaged with the new one is making the other person to be killed. And what is that you are being projecting in the society is the failure of the marriage. Because the whole system of the marriage itself is questionable because of the I mean like because of the work what you do or because of the step what you have taken is putting a question mark on the entire marriage system.
(1:05:55) M >> so you are killing a person only because of the social regulations that your family does not want you to break with him or her. So only way to get rid of him is like you're alone and again single and wanted to get married to a new one. Could be the parental pressure you're accepting him or you have accepted him.
(1:06:19) Could be the societal pleasure looking at you. Could be a financial could be the resource or could be beauty. There are so many aspects why this killing has taken place. Mhm. >> Not all the killings are because of one particular reason. >> True. True. >> But underlining there could be one reason that I don't want to stay with him or her but I will choose a new partner.
(1:06:43) >> But choosing a new partner is not easy. >> Absolutely. >> There should be a strong reason behind that >> and the reason has to be accepted by everyone. If not, I cannot stay with him. >> What is the reason? I have to get rid of him or her accept a new one. Like you said because of the changing trends in the society we see intolerance and also the dysfunctionalities of marriage are what we are seeing what you have mentioned just a while ago along with this we see there are some recent reports which suggests that people who
(1:07:13) are working in the software sector or the IT sector there's a rise in kind of dysfunctionalities when it comes to relationships and also marriages you see lot of dysfunctionalities in there so what is your uh take on this >> so dysfunctionalities means illegal ly having an affair. >> Okay. >> Men and women they have an illegal affair.
(1:07:36) >> Okay. >> Okay. That itself is called as a dysfunction of a marriage. >> Okay. >> The function of the marriage is being loyal to each other. >> Mhm. When you don't end up to have maintain a proper functional role of the marriage because the marriage defines people to perform certain functions any of the aspect psychologically or mentally or physically emotionally you are not being attached to each other there's always a third person who comes in between >> okay >> to whom you are emotionally attached could be men or woman as you said there
(1:08:08) are a lot of newspapers the trend says there increasing legal relationships >> extrammarital extra marital affairs sir >> and also illegal relationship >> illegal relationship that itself is a dysfunction. So this is quite common in the service sector where this sector has a lot of impact of westernized culture >> and these are the sectors which will run very fast with technology making use of AI making use of applications where accessibility to the people emotional attachment with the people has been increasing and it is increasing in the
(1:08:42) future also it will also increase in the future further. So peopleto people connect peopleto-people contact has become very easy. So over a period of time we got to see that there when there is a connection off the line on the line in the office of the office people don't spend much time with their partnersh could be physically mentally emotionally or professionally they get in connect directly with their professional >> and also with those people who are involved in your profession >> in the mainstream society
(1:09:19) >> sometimes strangers also. >> Exactly. So this connectivity which is basically due to westernized culture has made people to get an easy access get rid of your emotions so easily and they want people who can have all the time could be men or women and this over a period of time turning to be have an illegal affair cheating on your partners. Mhm.
(1:09:47) >> You always wanted to pretend that you are good. The theme line is you always wanted to pretend that you are good. >> But your internal character is not good. >> Right? >> When your internal character is strong, you know the functionality of the marriage and loyalty towards a person could be a man or woman.
(1:10:08) And your functionality is either you are not fulfilling the functionality towards someone and you're bound that you're married and connected to someone but over a period of time you're psychological attached to someone and that is temporary again that is only temporary for a certain period of time once you get detached then you'll get attached to the permanent person.
(1:10:33) >> Mhm. And if it is open, it works that both people agree and accept works. If it is a traditional form of marriage and practice, then the marriage will lead to the major divorce. So most service sector people get divorced easily. >> Got it? >> Mainly reason is they don't have a time proper ties with each other, a proper bond with each other.
(1:11:03) and hence they try to tend up and meeting up and having an emotional attachment to others. This is the reason why they get divorced. So like uh it was quite a interesting conversation like we understood about different forms of marriages and across different societies and tribal communities per se. Then we also discussed about family, household and also divorces.
(1:11:28) So definitely this is a very insightful discussion where uh sociology students as well as UPSC aspirants and for the general audience per se also. So this will definitely set a eye openener on many aspects. Thank you so much. Looking forward to have you again on the podcast. Thank you sir. >> Thank you so much. Thank you everyone.