How Books Can Reshape Your Life | Sudha Murty in Conversation with Akshata Murty

How Books Can Reshape Your Life | Sudha Murty in Conversation with Akshata Murty

Author Name:Inspiring Minds

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Transcript:
(00:00) Thank you very much. It's so nice to be here in Jagpur. You know, I've uh attended JLF in London, but to be here what I think is sacred ground at the queen of all literary festivals or Amma, you would say the Kashi of all literary festivals >> and and um to be here on stage talking to one of my most favorite people in the world is is really a dream come true.
(00:29) And I am so so grateful to be here and you know I have so much to say and you know I love talking to you about anything and everything but I want you to know I cherish you deeply and our relationship is one I treasure in in life in so many special ways. So thank you for making time. So, so my mother and I, we uh we both lead busy lives.
(01:02) We don't find a lot of time to talk. So, when you get us together, we could go on for hours and hours, but we have about 45 minutes. So, I had to get my mind to really focus. And I thought, well, what are some of the things we like talking about? And I think books and reading is something we have discussed from when I was a little girl.
(01:24) You know, you you introduced me to books. We talked about books and we both love stories. And you're a great storyteller. We all know that. And but but I think books I think books do something else to me. the books you introduced me to and reading introduced me to to life's values. How do you read a book and take away something so special from it? And to me, what I take away from books, from some of the books, are some of life's most valuable lessons.
(02:02) So, I thought today we could use the time we have together to talk about books and talk about values. Do you think that's a good plan, Emma? >> Yeah. Good morning to everyone. Um, it is not a mother daughter appreciation club. Okay, you should be much more than that because I'm sure all mothers love their daughters. All fathers love their son.
(02:25) Okay. Anyway, so we'll have something meaningful discussion. What is the value I taught them through books? Why books are so essential and how books help us to learn many things which we did not know. Unlocking the ignorance okay and unlocking the knowledge unlocking the knowledge world all those things. So we'll discuss about that.
(02:52) >> Thank you. So one of my earliest memories Amma is of you telling me stories and these were stories about ancient India. There were also stories about ancient Egypt. There were stories about different countries, different cultures. But you also told me stories about Marie Cury, about Adah Loveless. And so you taught me history, you taught me philosophy, you taught me science, and you taught me politics all through storytelling.
(03:25) But you also said to Rohan and me, Rohan is my younger brother, that you learn, of course, you learn to pass tests and do well in school, but you learn for life. You never stop learning. I think you you've said that the day you stop learning is the day you stop living. And and I've really stayed that's really stayed with me.
(03:53) And now when I look at my own girls Krishna and Anushka, I urge them not just to learn for school but to learn for life. So where do you think this mindset of learning for life? Learning for learning's sake. Where did that come from? Um from for you >> for me? Well uh I come from a teacher's family.
(04:20) My grandfather the high school teacher, my mother the school teacher, my college, my father the professor in a medical college and married into a teacher's family. My father-in-law the high school teacher my brother the professor except the odd man out is Naran Morti went for business. Okay. So when you grow up in a teacher's family the most valuable thing is not money knowledge and books.
(04:45) The only gift we used to get was only book birthday gifts are only books. Everywhere any occasion books were given and it was told to us knowledge is so important in life. It's a great weapon in real life and it cannot be destroyed like you know I can lose translation. I can say that it is cannot be destroyed.
(05:08) It cannot be con you know it cannot be hidden. It cannot be bought in the market. It is like how in Gita says how you should behudah they say I used to tell knowledge is most important thing in life and it you have to learn that that you have to have that through books and that is the reason I grew up with books not with lot of money but lot of books and I realized its power and I passed it on to you and Rohan love books they are your constant companion They are your never failing friends and they will teach you a lot opening the
(05:48) vast garden of knowledge and and that's absolutely true because uh in our home my mother Amma you have a library dedicated to history and literature and my father has a library dedicated to science and >> computer science particularly >> science and technology and Rishi and I as we uh >> economics as we have planned our own libraries, they're a mix of all of these different subjects. So, you're absolutely right.
(06:19) Books are the greatest treasures. And and I'll I'll talk about a book that uh or a series of books that I remember that signify to me this deep love for learning. And and it's uh the story of civilization by Will and Ariel Durant. And there are nine uh nine volumes in the in the collection and and they're bright. They're vividly colored.
(06:46) And when I was a little girl, they you know before Google and all sorts of fancy technology was around those were my reference books. So I loved it when school gave me a project because I could dwell into these books. I could get lost in these books. And that's where we talk where where I learned about the Renaissance.
(07:10) That's where I learned about faith and religion. That's where I learned about ancient Egypt. And I continue to be fascinated by Egypt. So, so even today I have those reference books because they remind me of a time gone by, but they also remind me that learning and reading is is not just something you do because you have to, but because it's actually a joy.
(07:36) Is there a bookmar from your vast collection of books that you've authored that reminds you of this value of love for learning? >> Yeah. Uh I I have penned a book by the name how I taught my grandmother to read in real life. Yeah. Whole generation has left that because it was a textbook. Okay.
(08:03) One of the reasons you know I and Axa we have a common interest one person both of us like him a lot. We read extensively his books that is William. William. William. Where are you William? We are extremely fond of William. both of us okay we may differ in other things but when it comes to William books we page by page we argue read and you know we do that thanks William bringing such beautiful books so my grandmother was 62 years old I was uh 12 years old and she did not know the alphabets in Canada and she told me I want to learn Canada this
(08:39) my mother tongue our mother tongue and I said gee you are old how can you learn she said for learning Age no bar for learning age no bar I want to learn and I taught her in traditional Indian family we touch feet of elders and when she learned you know I was a very strict teacher because I got that power to you know to teach someone who is much older than me read write recite every day three three hours and poor one she learned in 3 months and then to my surprise when she started reading book she came and touched my feet I was
(09:15) shocked. I said, "How an elderly person can touch my feet?" And she told me a beautiful sentence. That means whosoever taught me a single word who unlocked this knowledge to me and that person is my teacher. Oh teacher, I salute you. Okay, that is what I learned from my grandmother. Whosoever teaches you, he is or she is your guru.
(09:45) So I wrote this how I taught my grandmother. It's a real life incident. No masala right from heart to my hand. >> And and Ahmad, you have told me that story so many times growing up. >> Yeah. >> And remind us what your grandmother's name is. >> My grandmother's name was Krishna. >> And as you know your eldest grandchild is also called Krishna.
(10:08) because of that >> to to represent this continuity of of love for learning. So, thank you for sharing that. >> Thank you. >> The the next um value that's really important in our family is this concept of service and duty. You know, again, from when I was a little girl, you've and and and both Rohan and I, you raised us to really understand that when you live in a community, you give to that community.
(10:42) You're involved in that community in some way where you don't give for benefit, but you give because that's means something to you and to to the people you you live with. And and you've done that from a very young age. You know, when I was little and I uh uh uh and it was my birthday, you would say happy birthday, which was great.
(11:08) But then I was never allowed to have a birthday party because you would take that money and uh give it to a charity of my choice. And as an 8-year-old, I thought, "No, that's not nice for me at all." But you were actually laying the foundations of service back then. >> But I used to give you samosa and fruity to all your friends. >> Okay. >> Uh the basics.
(11:37) And and and and you know when I look at my father, I look at you up. I think you have also exemplified service in your own way because through business and through your incredible work you have shown the concept of corporate social responsibility and you you took that mantle on when it wasn't fashionable to do so and when it wasn't mandated to do so.
(12:04) So you have both exemplified service in in the most incredible way. And the other word along with service that's meaningful to me and that was meaningful to Rishi and and still is to our family is this concept of duty. You you do your duty >> first >> first and you never worry about the results. So I I wonder what you make of these two words, service and duty.
(12:35) >> Yeah, you know what I taught you in that karm. >> That's right. And you're you know I'm going to discuss that book in a minute. But I but I'm curious to know how you view service and duty. Well, um my grandmother, my father's mother was a widow and uh she again see they never went to school but she was trained to deliver babies in a village and there were no doctors.
(13:00) I'm talking about 60 years 65 years back and she will go and deliver uh all around the village. Um fortunately all children survived. Okay. There was no cesarian concept in those days and she would go to anybody's house whether they call or not. If the woman is in pain and she's ready with her kit uh and uh deliver the baby, no cast, no creed, no language, no barrier.
(13:28) Just do that, come back, take bath and no expectation. And looking at that, taking that cue, my father became a gynecologist saying that we have to help women who are in distress because he has seen taking that cue and my father was an atheist. He never believed in God or temple or church or masjid.
(13:48) He said my temple is my hospital. My patients are my gods. Any moment you can middle of the night he will still go. He'll conduct deliveries. This is the part of our family that service is most important. Taking that cue my sister Sununda she became a gynecologist in a government hospital and helping mill thousands of uh women in her 40 years service.
(14:10) So this has come service has come as a part of our DNA. So for us helping someone is not that I'm doing anything extra or I'm doing something great. I think it is as good as breathing, drinking water, dressing up. How you do service to someone is part of our life. And it has given me enormous happiness.
(14:32) Enormous happiness. Because I feel when I go up and meet God, I can always say God you gave me more than what my plate can hold. I served your children with same faith the way I do puja to you. I don't have anything >> and Amma there's one book and I think you and I will certainly agree on this one as well which to me exemplifies this concept of service but more so duty and that's the Bhagat Gita and and to me the line in the Gita which I'm sure many of us know >> yeah which says do your duty, do your
(15:20) dharma and we have a right to do our duty but we don't have a right to the fruits to the act to the output in a way I think that is an incredible way of looking at at one's commitment to to our actions but never to the result and and Amma you have a beautiful story which I know but I'd love for you to share about a time when you served and when you did your duty and it transformed some a group of people's lives.
(15:55) Can you share that book with us? >> Yeah. Um all people sitting over here don't think I'm promoting my books otherwise also they are sold well. Okay. Okay. Actually service is part of our life and that is there in our family. I consider not Mr. Morty as my friend as not as my husband but as a friend I always appreciate him.
(16:20) You have created a company by that creation of wealth is reduction in poverty. This is also a kind of service he has done to our country. One book I have written every book has this but this is very favorite book of mine 3,000 stitches. I worked with the sex workers 20 long years and I thought I'll be able to change 10 but I could change 3,000 of them and they made a quilt.
(16:47) They made a quilt with the 3,000 and stitches and everyone I give that as a gift. It was a toughest job in my life was to change them from their profession to bring them to a normal life. And that day when 3,000 of them changed, you know, I I stood them on the stage like this in a in a village where all of them assembled. Suddenly I realized that my wish list is empty.
(17:16) I'm completely satisfied and I'm happy I could do this most difficult work. So this is a book where I describe my journey. They threw rotten tomatoes at me initially. there chapels at me sometimes I felt why should I do then I remember resilience get up do because this is your duty let them insult you but it's your duty and then they realize what they did was wrong but a sense of duty is very important to our family and we have passed it on to the next generation >> thank you I remember you actually called me one day after you had this ceremon with
(17:58) the with the women and and you cried on the phone because you said I have no other desire in life and that's what I find is incredible is for you by doing good to someone else your desires vanish and and I I look forward to to living that kind of a life thanks to your your experiences >> I I hope one day you'll also do such a great work helping others and feel my bucket list is empty because there what a great satisfaction it is.
(18:34) >> Yes, >> it is not within forces shares. It is not with the gold. It is not with the land. It is not with anyone anything else. It is a satisfaction within you that makes you confident that makes you always happy. Nothing to do with the wealth. Thank you Emma. So the next value or idea even is this concept of idealism.
(18:59) Now I think you have quoted Amma uh that if you're an if you're not an idealist at 20 you don't have a heart but if you're an idealist at 40 you don't have a brain. You've said that yet you've raised Rohan and I to be idealists and not realists. And Rohan and I are in our 40s, but and let me tell you, we are certainly idealists still.
(19:32) So unclear whether we have a brain or not. But but in all seriousness, you've raised us to think purely, to act purely, to love purely, and that has stayed with us no matter what we've taken on both personally and professionally. And so so this concept of idealism Amma is that something that is truly just relegated to childhood or is that something that stays with you for some people even in adulthood even at 74 I'm an idealist for that matter and there was a session you didn't attend the child within me you know it is it's not if you want to enjoy your life you
(20:17) should be simple and you should have pure pure values You always enjoy. You're not if you are worried about other things they may increase or decrease. But this pure joy is from pure heart. I believe in that. And I told my children first you should be a good human being. Then whatever you score in the examination you score.
(20:38) Whatever you achieve in life you achieve. But they are for me secondary primaries be pure in your heart. What you that means this I learned in house of tatas. It's in it's in a pari language actually or ztoastran language. What you think that means your brain what you talk that's your tongue and what you feel that's your heart and what you do that is your uh hands they all should be aligned this what I think different talk something else I talk something my I feel something else I feel something and I do something else is not human quality and that's what I
(21:14) told my children be pure please get connected 1 2 3 Four that is for your own sake you lead a good life you lead a happy life you lead a meaningful life what is how do you define life okay it depends on what you think this is the way I define life to my both children >> and and something else Amma that's unique about you and I think that's why you raised us to be idealist is there continues to be a child within you even at age 74.
(21:57) Um, and I think that's just who you are and that's probably one of the reasons you write these incredible children's books because you relate to young people in such a fundamental >> idealistic way. >> Yeah. Because the child within me makes me to write children book. I can think like them. >> Okay. You know, when I think of idealism, there's so many books I could talk about, but I'm actually going to talk about romantic love perhaps when I think of this book.
(22:29) And it's this it's Eric Seagel's love story. And it explores the relationship between two people who met at college much like Rishi and I did. and they came from very different walks of life and they shared a pure idealistic love. And you know, I'm a sucker for fairy tales. I'm a sucker for films and books with happy endings. But this book doesn't have a happy ending without giving a lot away if you haven't read it.
(23:04) But to me, love story really looks at the most pure form of love and and that's that's really stayed with me. Is there a book am I for you that touches on this concept of idealism? There are many books maybe Mahashwita. >> Yes. >> Yeah. I will tell um or mother I never knew Mahashwa I will take. I wrote this book 40 years back.
(23:35) It's a girl who gets white patch and you know she's rejected in a middle-ass family. She comes from a poor family and how she realizes the strength of life, love for life and how she comes out of it and achieves the peace in her mind and professionally and personally she becomes extremely successful. And there is a uh last chapter in that book is a wedding to remember. It's a true story.
(24:04) I got a invitation one day and they said you must come for a wedding otherwise the wedding will be incomplete. I'm not a pundit actually to perform a wedding and I'm college teacher. So I did not know who are these people but anyway you know I'm adventurous. So I said let's go and see who is this person.
(24:21) I go to the wedding they are not my students but they said you must have lunch. I thought it free lunch I'm getting but let me know why. They said you eat then you will tell. I said no you tell me first then I will eat. They told me my boy read this book. The father told my son read this book changed his mind and got married to a girl who has liodma or white patch.
(24:44) That's I said a wedding to remember. So a a pen a simple pen or nowadays computer console I'll tell you can change someone's life. I'm really blessed. So I believe books have so much power. >> That's right. >> To change people's lives. >> Yeah. And and when you truly believe in who you are and what you stand for, you can overcome any challenge. Yes.
(25:10) >> Which brings me on to to the to the last value which I look at as determination. >> And I think all of us, no matter who we are, what age we are, where we live, what we believe in, we all have our fair share of ups and downs. And determination is what allows us to push forward. >> Mhm. >> So, so maybe this is something we can both discuss.
(25:43) Amma, what gives you >> determination? Okay. I'm being your mother. Let me ask you that Axhata. How do you be so determined goes ups and downs? There are many changes in lives and you know you live in uh you live in two three continents. Okay. two three countries what is that you bulldoze and determine you tell me first >> yes >> as a mother I will tell you as a teacher I will tell you >> so no that and and it's it's there are so many moments I have had uh in in life where you have given me that determination so one of those is actually you
(26:21) >> the strength that you give me but more more broadly for me if I feel that my actions can have some positive impact to those around me. You know, it comes back to this concept of service. Then it gives me great strength and as you say it allows me to bulldoze through my fear, my anxiety and my doubt because ultimately I if I believe that my actions can have some small positive impact on those around me then I I feel strengthened and bolstered.
(27:00) So that's that's my source and and then I I have seen you and upper live out your life with utmost determination and when that's role model for you your whole life in different settings that's all you know and and and so I I I think it's it's really a combination of my ability to have impact combined with incredible role models in my life.
(27:28) But is there any book of which you have read where uh you know people undergo difficult real life difficult situation and you learn from that book as well because knowledge is not from one source like how ocean is never made up of only one river. Many rivers makes the ocean. Same way knowledge you can some of them you can see and learn, hear and learn, read and learn with experience you can learn through books you can learn.
(27:56) Is there any book in your life which has given you to help your determination? >> Thank you, Emma. And I have two books I would love to share with all of you. >> One is a book by an author called Maggieio Farrell and she's writ um I came across it a few years ago and it has the most beautiful cover. So, so you know, they said never judge a book by its cover, but I I really did judge this book because it had the most beautiful cover, but it's the story of uh uh u and it's it's mostly it's historical fiction maybe with a grain of
(28:36) truth in it. And it's about Shakespeare, Shakespeare's son, Hamnet. And sadly, we don't know a lot about Hamnit, but we do know that he died quite young and he had a twin, Judith. But this book is about the death of Hamnet and and then the pain that that Shakespeare and his wife Agnes undergo to lose a young son.
(29:05) and and yet it ends in in what I define as a story of resilience and determination because Shakespeare comes out of this incredibly tragic time in his life and champions that that same pain and tragedy into immense creativity. And in fact the the the book alludes to the fact that perhaps Hamlet which is one of his most famous plays a tragic play even was inspired by Hamnet's death.
(29:42) So so to me that is tragedy turned into creativity through determination and resilience. There's another book and I think we've discussed this book Ama and and you know both my mother and I and now my uh daughters Krishna and Anushka were all obsessed with historical books and so this book is is is a British author her name is Allison Weir and she writes uh it's it's part of a series called Six Tudtor Queens uh and it's about a queen uh the first wife of Henry VIII 8.
(30:21) Her name is >> of Argon, >> Katherine of Aragan. >> And Katherine's story is remarkable because she she grows up knowing that she will be the queen of England. And she has a series of again tragedies in her life. Her first husband dies. She marries >> uh her husband's younger brother Henry VIII.
(30:46) and and and you know they they have numerous miscarriages and loss of children and ultimately she's unable to bear Henry a a male heir and as a result Henry upends the entire system and and at the end brings about the English reformation but in the process he Katherine under goes immense turmoil because she refuses to give in to what Henry wants her to give into, which is to give up the crown, to give up on her marriage, and to give up on her beliefs.
(31:22) And the easiest thing for her would have been to to hold on to her material goods and give up on her beliefs. But she stays resolute. She stays determined. And and to me, that is a great example of someone. And in fact, she dies in quite a sorry state. But but she to me she's a hero because she held on to her her values and she was determined and and and you know when I see especially women I'm particularly inspired.
(31:56) What about you? Is there a book again from your vast repertoire that spells determination and resilience? Well, not one book. There are many books because people change with age. You know when I was a young girl, my grandfather was a hero. Later when I was in teenage, my father was a hero. Later I became hero myself.
(32:18) I said no, I have to learn with myself. It is not somebody because everybody is human. They make mistakes. I must learn with my own ability. So you go on changing. There are series of books which have changed me. But there are some books which remained with me in my mind. It's like a 10,000 miles without a cloud. That's a beautiful book.
(32:41) And the kingdom on Indas these are two books which may you be the mother of 100 sons. One more book. These are some books but not one book. All this time Axata went on praising mother gave me this, mother gave me that. Now I want to tell what my daughter gave me. I want to tell that. It was in the year 1996. It was in the year 1996.
(33:04) It must have some people might have read amma what's your duty? Axata was 16 years old girl. I'm giving her age. Okay. And also my age. So she used to read by her to a blind boy in in Bangalore on by herself. She will cycle and go and read and come back. I never told my children to do let them do and I will observe.
(33:25) keep you should allow them to fly but you should have the control in within you without showing it. So she used to re and come back and Anand got admission in St. Stephen's college Delhi he was a poor boy uh economically not strong and I was head of the department of computer science in Bangalore one of the university he she came and told me am Anand got his uh admission will you sponsor him I was very busy setting up the question paper you know setting a question paper is like a wedding house always be keeping busy so I told Axa oh you can sponsor
(34:02) she told me you don't even give 10 rupees in my hand press rights about my money but I don't even know how much I have you monitor my birthdays and where do I have money then she asked me amma you are 46 years old what is your aim in life and if you cannot do any social work then you don't have a right to tell anyone to do any work and she went away she was 16 years teenage girl got upset I went to the question paper examination hall I sat there as usual it was postponed meeting was postponed I sat there And I thought about it what is my
(34:35) duty first 15 20 years I worked for myself to get a rank and how to defeat boys in their own game to be a good engineer okay because I was young I wanted to defeat kind today I don't even look at it that way then I helped Naran Morti to build infosys without being a part of it now infosys doesn't require me I don't worry about my rank what is my aim in life glamour money going around staying in sevenstar tell no none of them enchanted me then I remembered a famous quote in titriophat where nachiketa says why money is needed what
(35:13) happens to money if you don't control it how it destroys you I said no I'm going to do philanthropy here afterwards so Axhata is my teacher I was sleeping woke me up and said amma what's your duty maybe it is in our family I suppose elders learn from youngsters. I taught my grandmother, Axhata taught me. Okay.
(35:36) I don't know what my my granddaughters will teach. >> I I think I think that actually leaves just about a minute for you to discuss. I know you were recently in London or in Yorkshire actually. We were we were sitting I remember we were sitting on the couch and uh you and Anushka were conspiring on something.
(35:55) So can you give us a hint of what you were conspiring well on? Anushka is my granddaughter and we always discuss what children like. She says, "Aji, this is very boring. Children require more adventurous you know more like a detective kind. Yours is very plain." So we are discussing and I I have written two books children novels.
(36:17) One is uh uh the magic of the lost temple because I introduced archaeology to children through my story book. Second one is magic of the lost story. What is our legacy? What is important in the family? That is again a novel. This time Anushka said it should be like a detective story but it should end up in London at the end because I want to be part of that.
(36:40) I said okay Anushka and within within a day or two I could conceive this and this is a new book is going to come this year the magic of the lost earrings. Okay. This is when I discuss with children, I'll be part of in the whole in the whole conversation. Then I get ideas from them. Children are not biased. They are frank.
(37:05) Okay? And they tell on your face what they feel like. That is how I came up with Anushka, the magic of the lost earrings. It may come out in October this year. >> And and that's Anushka's birthday. So that's great timing. >> Thank you. >> So So I think we have time for some questions now. Mama. >> Yeah. >> So, um, >> yeah, I think we'll open to the public some questions.
(37:29) We have only 8 minutes left. >> Yeah, please. >> Take the mic cooker. We don't have any choice. Anybody can ask question. >> One there and one there and one >> after this gentleman. >> Hello ma'am. Uh, it's ma'am to meet you. >> This ma'am or that ma'am? >> Both ma'am. No, I'm just Axai. She's mad. >> I am Adhar Tari and I'm from Bhopal.
(37:55) >> Fast better. >> Okay. So my question to you is that you have extensively worked towards social impact. So what do you think is the most uh pertinent issue in today's society that the youngsters should work on? First answer should study well, play well. Mentally is strong only you do physical exercise.
(38:16) mental exercise that means you know not to get g hooked to the gadget read play talk to others learn something and when you are that age you call me I will come and advise you not now >> and and I'm just going to add to that amma and and what I would say is maybe echoing my mother is learning >> for whatever purpose or rather without purpose is very important and and again you know Rishi and I are looking at how we can make learning more interesting, learning more engaging and I think as long as young people are really excited about
(38:56) learning then life opens up. >> Yeah, that's the reason you started learning at 10. I think at 10 lessons at 10 you started. Yes. >> Will you tell a little bit about that? Actually, I think it was briefly introduced, but lessons at 10 was a program much inspired by our our uh at the beginning of this conversation, we talked about learning for life, discovering your passion.
(39:23) And and so when I uh lived in Downing Street, I started a program which brought in young people from across different parts of the UK every Friday to come into the building, learn about the building's history and finally understand a little bit what is their passion because with passion we can do anything. That is true. >> So that's that's uh that's that's what we would advise.
(39:45) >> Yes ma'am. This >> a very good morning. I'll take it fast. I'm Joti Mishra from Bihar, a working journalist. I have a 4-year-old daughter. But since I have her, so I have left my work at a part-time basis. So I just wanted to take a view on both mother and daughter on this subject that a mother being a mother I feel guilty if I leave her.
(40:09) So what should I do? I mean like taking my career to full swing again or how I mean like of a mother also. Thank you so much. >> Yeah. Okay. You want to answer? Go ahead. Okay. Both Axetta and I left our careers when our children were born. I left my career and I was at home because this is my personal view. Children require you boys require you up to 14 years afterwards they are on telephone.
(40:40) Girls require you after 12 after that they're in teenage they they'll come back to you after 19. Okay. So there are different formula and at this is a period where you can impact your children with your value system what they want to become later. Okay. So I I I normally advise take a break at that time and later can always go back.
(41:01) Akhata your views. >> The only thing I would add is you can have it all but not at the same time. So, so that's that's been my philosophy and and that has served me well. >> It's an individual choice but that is my choice and that was going to go. >> Yeah. No, next this side somebody Yeah. Yeah. No. No. No. One.
(41:23) I have only four minutes left. Yeah. Somebody Okay. Children ask small question. Sakata. Where is Gopy? Gopy is fine. Gopy has said bow to you. Okay. Next question. They all they ask about Gopy. I know. >> Go ahead, please. >> What inspired you to write books like these? >> Gopy. >> Yeah. >> Okay.
(41:46) I knew these questions because Gopy tells me in my ears his stories. No, I imagine I imagine I interpret what Gopy does and then I will write. I like children. I want to entertain you with all positive things, hope, positivity, lot of just in life and always say so what? Okay, something doesn't happen. So what? It doesn't matter.
(42:07) So that kind of attitude I want to give. So I write for you. Thank you girls. Okay. Elderly person. Somebody. Yeah. This side. This side. Yeah. Yes sir. Yeah. Yeah. Not much time left. Behind every Okay. Behind every success behind every successful woman, there's an understanding man. Okay. But when Okay. But when man becomes successful, it is not a woman behind him.
(42:36) When man becomes successful, a woman is along with him. True. >> But for men, for woman, man is behind. For a man is along. Okay. And >> hello, ma'am. >> And and I I I'll just add that I think both you and Uppa and Rishi and I are very much we have worked in partnership and and and as you rightly say, it is an equal partnership. Mama, >> who is the opening batsman? It's me this time.
(43:06) >> Yeah. Okay. I consider it's me. Okay. >> Hello ma'am. >> For the on fun side. >> Hello. >> One second. Fun side because it is nothing who is opening who is closing. We have to work together as a one unit with plus and minus complementing each other that makes you know life better, beautiful and enjoyable. Thank you. Yes.
(43:29) Next one. >> Hello. >> Yes. Yes. Whosoever. Yeah, please. >> Hello, ma'am. >> I can understand. I can I am on wheelchair. Okay. >> Ma'am, uh you have a uh inclusive bond uh in your family. Nowadays, uh technology is changing day by day. How can everybody can make a strong strong bond between each other? In family, you have to share. You have to talk.
(43:54) You have to tell. Okay. But we have to talk it out. Suppose you're not happy. You know if you must have all of you must have been knowing if you are happy and you know clap your hands. If you are happy and you know clap your hand that way you have to show it. You have to tell you have to share. You may not agree but you have to you should not keep quiet.
(44:16) That is the it is a word which is a emotion which binds all of us. Yes. And and I would say, you know, I have two teenage girls and they have phones and and they are quite busy. But exactly I remember when we were growing up, you would say exactly this to Rohan and me. No matter what you're feeling, no matter how much we disagree, >> you have to talk it out because talking it out actually connects us.
(44:44) You know, it's it's maybe how we've evolved as human beings. Yeah. But when you face to face talk it out without worrying about offending anyone but actually just putting your emotions on the table then you build deeper bonds. And the other thing I would add is when talking through things allows you to have a similar kind of value system and values bring people together.
(45:09) Enjoy every day. Today your day tomorrow let me enjoy Jend. Thank you.