Childhood insecurities, love at first sight and Ranabaali | Rashmika and Vijay's first podcast
Author Name:Prakhar Gupta
Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@ThePrakharGuptaXperience
Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jlDBdjz_3w
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Transcript:
(00:00) Your guys's love story is fascinating. >> I used to call him sir [laughter] >> because I was new into the industry. >> I was scared of girls and I'm an actor married to this one beautiful woman. At that age I was somebody who didn't believe in love. It took growing up and maturity to understand that don't disrespect the love in your life.
(00:26) Then you meet somebody and you're like by nature love has to be a car you're not driving. >> But also we human beings always need to keep making efforts for those people who we love. >> I've put a block in my head that this is who I am. And now we live live up to our own story. >> It's only delusion till you make it up.
(00:44) Then it's reality and then it's belief. Listening to a podcast called Empire which was suggested by someone on how the English traders East India Company came and became an empire. I was so affected by the information and my own history and I was like and I didn't know any of it. >> I knew about the Bengal family but when you get into the story of it what they told us to what they actually did this has happened to your family.
(01:09) >> I don't know my own story. So I was excited that this is a story. This is knowing our history is really important. 73% viewers regularly. Please subscribe favorite guest or conversations. Okay, first podcast guys. Full practice. I respect full practice.
(01:55) I appreciate film interviews, philosophy, childhood actually eventually like cinema so much of what south produces Hindi produce something there is a way in which culture is becoming very mono. >> What is the difference between an interview and podcast essentially? >> Okay. So the first difference is that you should be in my studio and I should not be [laughter] the other thing is podcast generally
(02:43) agenda [laughter] [laughter] Mike. >> [laughter] >> No problem. But I'm imagining [laughter] you know what is very interesting is um just how I don't know what the right word is. Your guys's love story is fascinating. It's like my feed for months has been
(03:28) the two of [clears throat and laughter] you. Um, and I was wondering if you guys remember how you met. Of course you remember how you met. >> Yeah. Yeah, we met on set. >> We met on set. >> What movie is that? Can you >> Okay. And you knew instantly. >> No. No. No. You >> You said no first, huh? >> Yeah. Instantly.
(03:46) >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Can you ever know instantly? at first. You can know instantly she's beautiful but to know instantly she's the one I know nothing about her. Uh so I did uh I did think she was a very beautiful girl but you're meeting set professionally third movie >> fourth fourth picture. So you're more about the excitement of being on set and the nerves of being day one on set with a new team and the aspiration of successful picture say
(04:33) first day on any set is very nerve-wracking new team new character. So the first few days are always a little you're trying to find it on edge. you're not comfortable enough to think about love and such. So yeah, day one we might it's it's going to be 10 years next year or the next no this year it was 8 years.
(05:00) So my when people ask me >> uh >> no it's been 8 years since we've met but 8 years since >> since film released. So that's my that film is my marker for how [laughter] long I've known her. >> Only after the film is done can I allow myself to fall in love. It's not about the film. You can fall in love on set also. I'm sure many people have.
(05:20) Uh but I think it's more about >> uh falling in love. First of all, at that age, I was somebody who didn't believe in love. >> How old were you then? >> I was what 27 28 >> 28 >> 27 I think. >> 9 years ago. I'm 37 now. So 29. >> Yeah. Okay. So if you look at my interviews from then I talk about love very u >> from a distance like >> yeah I talk about it almost disrespectfully and it comes from ignorance and uh it comes from that young energy but I would be like love is a is a marketing term.
(05:58) What is love? How we've all fallen in love multiple times in life. How can So what does love mean? if I can fall in love with someone and then fall in love with somebody else to and stuff. So I would talk like that a lot but you didn't appreciate that love it's a real thing that is there like you feel your mother's love don't you? So there is something there is love and there is intense love there is love where people think about you more than themselves even so so much it took growing up and maturity to understand that don't
(06:40) disrespect the love in your life don't say love is a marketing term >> like respect it appreciate it nurture it so then I started looking at love relationships uh differently and then eventually it took How old are you? >> I'm 30. >> 30? Oh, you're like young young [laughter] man. >> I thought 30. Okay. He say okay.
(07:10) You look like 35 young. >> I'll take it brother. I'll take it. I'm done with that compliment. >> 30. >> I also got married only last year. >> Oh, that's like really young. You're so It took me I had to make >> You were late. [laughter] >> It took me like when I was 36 finally I felt like I was ready and mature enough to to first understand this to to love it and I felt ready >> but it took me 36.
(07:47) At 29 you felt it mature. Huh. Um I had brief phases where I had no desire to believe in love. You know your heart breaks and all that. Then you meet somebody and you're like like this is not something I want to control. This is I'm not in the driving seat of something like this >> or a lot of my friends who are my age ask me this all the time.
(08:12) Actually I take your opinion on this also key. Um how do we think of marriage? How do we think of love? And by nature, love has to be a car you're not driving. It has to be something that's driving itself and you're enjoying the journey. And when it happens, there is this sort of I am taken in. >> I'm now no longer swimming against the current >> and then it just rolls in like >> um [snorts] [laughter] and I'm very glad for it.
(08:39) >> Um beyond there's a new world to discover properly, >> right? Like living together is very different than just dating also. M >> so huh I I I think I got lucky also in some way I met the right person at the right age >> um a lot of people because society arranged or love maybe divided so a lot of people also shuffle between that and I'm observing a lot of that with my friends right now you know that kind of stuff >> you know can I just give you two bits into it >> I completely agree with you that you can't be the driver it has to just be a
(09:14) automobile where it's just like going by itself. But also [clears throat] we human beings always need to keep making efforts >> for those people who we love >> because most very often that we make a lot of effort for people everyone else other than people at your own house. I keep thinking that you know very soon after you get married um some things some very basic things you stop telling each other like something like a good morning or are you doing well or how is your day it goes into huh my partner already knows now
(09:58) what's the point of saying it and then it could go into like why haven't I heard this in such a long time and then the uh our things in life would be you know driving us into different aspects in life generally. So I feel like efforts no matter how um into the relationship you are or into the marriage you are or even if you have kids together I still feel like those little e efforts should be made for each other >> and that is love.
(10:37) It's it's not like it it should be effortless but also you need to do these things because you want to do these things and that's that's something that I believe in love. >> Is your story congruent to his story? Similar like were you also antithetical to love when you first met him? >> No no she's very clear about relationships. Look at how she's talking.
(11:00) She makes sure she tells me I love you at least 15 10 15 times a day and she tells me that it's important that I express I constantly feel it but I shouldn't feel like it's okay he knows and >> uh and I don't need to say it and she tells me which makes me aware uh that because we're so caught up in life that sometimes you can forget theseh smaller, simpler but important things.
(11:34) So she's the one who who she actually made me >> [laughter] [laughter] >> relax by nature. That's probably your upbringing, your childhood. You are who you are because of everything that you don't even remember. Everything shapes you into the kind of person you are. And I was somebody who needed to uh
(12:18) at one point she Yeah. somebody who needs to almost ensure that this relationship has gone through every obstacle and lasted before. I remember when I first met him on set, I used to call him sir [laughter] >> because I was new into the industry and he had done like three four films by the time and I used to be like yeah sir, okay sir.
(12:46) Um, and there was also this time where uh on the day one I was playing some random music and he like goes like turn that music off and I was like I was like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wait what is going on why is he pissing waiters [laughter] every word you say has consequences >> consequences I was like [laughter] it was a very casual I'm like a tool to blunt And I assume that everyone understands the intention.
(13:18) >> Yeah. >> I feel like we should be able to talk freely, openly, but sometimes when you don't know each other fully, it was stupid of me to assume she'll get it. So, it was a casual like what is the shitty music you're playing? I shouted because we had to share a caravan with a locked door in between. But caravan half she was playing some music on a speaker which I could hear and I was like music I was like what is that shitty music >> this is the first thing your co- actor is telling you >> what correct correct in your it's
(13:56) absolutely right and I feel like now [laughter] that >> I think she had tears in her eyes because she was like oh he doesn't like >> because it's a new place new industry it's going to be [laughter] hard. How am I going to >> 100 days? [laughter] >> It's going to be torture if he's like this.
(14:15) But then I she told me this much later though. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For a long time. I hadn't said it. >> I was like, "What? You took that made you cry? What are you saying?" >> And I was extremely sensitive. Okay. Like everything would make me like tear up well up and all of that. [clears throat] and then uh going to the set and there were these uh situations when like you know we started working in the film and he would help me with the dialogue and everything and that's when every time I used to call him sir he used to be like stop calling me that I have a name call
(14:43) me that and then it of course became Vijay and then we became friends and then because we did two films back to back with each other we sort of like spent so much time with each other we were like pretty much talking to each other the whole day, right? Because you're shooting and you're prepping for the same film.
(15:05) Hence became like he was my best friend back then. >> And then later on, much later on, uh that I was like, okay, now I'm feeling something, you know, this is not I just believe that God has his hand in our relationship like in our love. I believe there's some sort of supreme power who's guided us into this >> but yeah and hence happened the wedding and here we are [laughter] >> and here we are it's beautiful you guys have a very interesting story and it always begins with like love story [laughter] something occurs and you're like what and then you know the head
(15:46) turn and all of that stuff happens is very cool >> is there any time you anyone is not thinking do you have any time where your mind is Only when I do 10day long meditation retreats I do and then you come out of there and 4 5 days you're like >> when your mind's not working. >> I really want to experience this.
(16:05) >> Bro, you would love that stuff. >> Is it? Did you do vipasana? Vipasa. >> Oh my god. I can't I'll die. >> Start with something smaller. There are other things you can do. Vipasana sounds rough. >> I know. >> I know. I'm really interested by the concept >> but it it's one human experiment at another level. >> You know the people who are the most scared are also the most excited cuz you know there is something there and sometimes I just push people over and they go there and they come back.
(16:42) I have a bet with my friends cuz it's so life-changing. Either you take I've done here once and once in America. >> Here in Shimla. I heard they have a centers everywhere. Huh? They centers everywhere. They'll be sent 30 km from here. >> Uh and you stay there. You stay there those 10 days. >> Yeah.
(17:03) You don't um write anything, read anything. I know the process. >> I love it. Let's >> fantastic. >> Oh, but we can't. [laughter] >> Yeah. No, but they're separate. >> Yeah. the men and women except when you're meditating. >> No. Yeah, but if I have 10 days off, I'd rather be with him. >> I'd rather be on a beach. [laughter] >> Where do you guys like to holiday? >> Everywhere.
(17:28) Like I want to see the world. >> He's a full beach guy. >> I'm a beach guy. If you The popular question is beach or mountain. I don't know why I have to choose, but [laughter] if if I had the choice, I would want a beach because it's wibes are good. mountain is more uh it feels like one introspective more >> we don't need any more introspective [laughter] for you >> I need activity >> yeah I need I need activity yeah >> and you grew up in Hyderabad also no >> I was born here most from age when I was age six >> I was put in a boarding school in a
(18:02) place called anapur inaparti it's uh so it is a boarding school boy hostel from age 6 to 15 I grew up there. So most of my life was in that boarding school and uh after my 10th I came back to Hyderabad and I've been here since. Yeah. >> So of the very few interviews that I could find of you guys in my research.
(18:24) There's one interesting line that stood out. I don't know if you know he talks about being very nervous talking to women when he moved back to Hyderabad. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That was dapper guy. >> Huh. >> If I looked like you, I would never be afraid. >> I I always didn't look like this. And I don't think it was to do with looks.
(18:40) It was just to do with when you grow up in a boarding school, a boy's hostel from age 6 to age 15 and you haven't uh other than female teachers >> and my head mistress ma'am who was a who we loved but we had fear and respect for. Uh you never you never saw a woman. Uh you would see girls like >> they were a concept [laughter] >> like women are there and they kind of walk like this.
(19:17) We weren't allowed to look at each other and stuff. It was really strict. >> Wow. >> And we spent 10 months in a year in boarding school. So those holidays summer and summer you would come and you would be home with your parents, grandparents, cousins watching TV. We didn't even have TV there. We were shown one film every 2 weeks.
(19:40) Uh we would be shown one film. Uh and as we grew up from 8th grade, we were shown news for 10 minutes. Just the headlines of the day would be cut by somebody. Uh and we would be shown news. So holidays cinema was like I remember those because you get to see one movie every 2 weeks. the excitement when you know it's movie night.
(20:04) It would be on a Sunday from morning we would be excited trying to find out what movie we would run with our little mats on our terrace they would have a projector uh we would sit and I remember up titles skip we don't have patience these days but that day every title like 500 students would be like reading it out like village road show pictures reeves leaves as we would be reading out because we were just so excited and then you would be im getting immersed in that world I still remember how it felt it was um it was something else uh so coming back to
(20:45) your question so when you come after 10 years which are kind of your formative years and now you're a teenager with hormones and you know you have this attraction to the opposite species but you don't know how the species operates you don't know how they are you don't know if you can talk if you talk do they think you're some kind of you don't have the balls first of all to do it you don't have the courage >> so it was a it took me 2 three like the first two years of coming back I didn't speak uh to a girl at all
(21:17) >> that's 11 12th >> 11 12 as in the girls somehow thought that so we would have a a busa college bus uh and it went from I was staying in Sinagar colony Then uh so it would start from Jubilee Hills Shinhar colony behind India won't know these places and go to a place called Up somehow in Hyderabad uh reason but some most the most beautiful girls live in these areas areas.
(21:54) >> Sure. I'm sure >> somehow in these areas pretty girls. So the bus was filled with really pretty girls. Uh but uh I knew that I had this attraction towards them by biology or nature. But I had no courage to talk to them. And every boy would be you know that age that is the that is their main >> aim >> aim and goal in life to have a girlfriend face >> right >> so but I was the one who would always be looking outside the window not talking and I didn't know I didn't even know one boy from Hyderabad >> so imagine you get into a college where
(22:32) everyone is from some school so groups all are from this L little flower egg group, HPSA group, and they're all gangs of boys. You have you don't know one boy. You've never spoken to a girl. So, you just sit in one corner and look outside the window. And somehow these girls girls thought that uh that was cool or that this guy doesn't care.
(22:57) I don't know what went on through their mind. So, they would call me and ask me to sit with them and chat. And uh because I was scared of looking into their eye, I would look outside the window and talk and maybe they thought that was cool again. So I was called [laughter] >> I was called life here. >> So >> it was really scared.
(23:20) It was like I was filled with my heart would be pounding at like some [clears throat] but then at some point uh I think post my interse I thought and when I went to my undergrad I did BCOM The first pretty girl I saw, I just spoke to her and slowly the fear went. The first few times I was speaking to her, I'm sure I was I was scared and nervous and stuff.
(24:02) But life may be like when you drive a car for the first time, you're like, "Oh my god, there's one car coming from here. There's one truck and there's three things down and one gear. There's just too many things." But at some point, you don't even know that you're driving. You're thinking about work and you've reached your home.
(24:17) you're not even looking at the direction that you're going. So I feel like in life everything with the repetitiveness of doing something makes you comfortable with with any with anything and we're all capable of everything. I don't think like public speaking yeah girls other than uh other than some biological or genetic phobias which might be which I'm not a doctor I can't talk about I think most of everything is in your head and uh everybody can do anything is something like all of us I was scared of
(25:01) public speaking. I'm an actor now who gives speeches and does podcasts with you and I was scared of girls and then I'm an actor married to this beautiful woman. Yeah. So, >> so I I believe very strongly that people like to categorize themselves. We like to say I'm introvert extrovert which is true to an extent.
(25:28) we have something because again it comes from childhood the environment we grow up in but every introvert with his close friends is an extrovert I'm sure he's cracking jokes and loud with his best friend at least just when he's around others is he feeling shut off or is he feeling exhausted and tired with that social interaction and would rather not but so my question was if you can be so happy with people you're so close with.
(26:01) >> That means you're not incapable of speaking or you're not incapable of >> hanging out, >> hanging out and chatting. It's just I've put a block in my head that this is who I am. >> And now we live live up to >> our own story. >> Our own story. So it's very important every thought you think, every word you say, it's important what you're saying because your brain doesn't know, your brain thinks this is the truth.
(26:30) You're instilling that neural connection in your brain >> that this is you and we're creating this persona and uh and that's that's what's happening. So say the right things and Um I think the number one thing you are controlled by is your own perception of yourself. >> Yeah. >> And job incidentally ended up becoming just talking to extremely successful people um all in their own right in their own field >> or may say people who are not from these worlds when they talk to me my friends I I live with my parents um I make it a
(27:12) point I live in my hometown and all those things. Um, so when they ask me what I've learned, what is your best conversation? What have you learned? And I tell them the number one secret is delusion. >> You have to be crazy delusional. If you tell yourself a story now, you will live up to that story. Then you cannot say, "Oh my life turned out this way.
(27:29) " >> You have to be crazy delusional that you do whatever you want to do and then suddenly when magic starts happening, as I'm sure you guys have experienced, you're talking about your first film, right? from the first till this so many days you would have woken up be like up oh my god now I have this opportunity also and it's just cuz probably you believed at 15 you could do all of this and more right like for me at least to whatever extent I've played the games of society every day I wake up and I'm like oh crazy okay this too now and it's
(28:01) fantastic I love it um it sucks when people close the door on themselves >> it's only delusion till you make it happen >> and then it's reality Then it's reality and then it's belief. So >> completely be delusional. >> Be delusional. People will judge, people will mock, people laugh, people believe, people will support, but it's only delusion till you make it happen.
(28:25) >> Yeah. >> You also went to boarding school. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What? Like boarding school is interesting. Both of you went to boarding school. I wonder if like there is something to sort of being away from family that inculcates something different. Do you find that to be the case >> for me? [clears throat] I w I got into the boarding very very young when >> she was like what three or four or something? >> Yeah.
(28:50) Yeah. I first went to a PG and then uh I went into the boarding school but my boarding was again co-et. So boys host, girls host but uh you [clears throat and cough] till the fifth grade you guys are having dinner together in different rows and uh after fifth of course you have girls uh dining hall, boys dining hall and stuff like that. Uh so like ever since the beginning there was always this interaction with you know your classmates were boys and there was this concept of having boyfriend girlfriend but boyfriend if his friends start teasing one girl
(29:30) with you that means she's your girlfriend >> that's it like there was nothing in terms of actually I don't know what actually >> or your choice even choice or not because Sometimes senior boys will like the junior girls and if the seniors say that you're dating this guy, you're dating this guy.
(29:51) There was no like [laughter] >> Yeah. So it was always like that. >> It was always like that. And then of course >> like what boyfriend, girlfriend in fifth class, one slap you need. >> Correct. Correct. I absolutely agree. >> But [laughter] like that that's how our hostel was. And then >> also it's a hostel in Coug, right? So you have like people from KO and people from different parts of the world coming in together and they bring sort of this new traditions and stuff and if you don't live up to it then you're uncool and if you um you know say no this is
(30:26) not the way I want it to be then they'll it's not ragging it's not bullying but almost cornering. >> So you have to live up to those standards and stuff like that. So I feel like the surviving skills that I have today came from them because I truly believe that and this is some uh it is a conversation that I have with my girlfriends from back in school that we have survived through that hostile means we can survive the world and genuinely even till today in the industry I don't do anything different I was doing the
(30:58) same I I am doing the same thing that I was doing in the hostel back then you know there were like bunch of people talking about you and then for some reason you're like but why are they talking about me like what have I even done today >> like I just believe that what happens in school in school level surviving in a hostel is survive fight or flight it's in that >> the world is like that there are a bunch of 5-year-old kids >> yeah but then you're also protected >> in this hostile environment like atmosphere now you're playing the same
(31:32) uh character same in the industry, >> right? >> It's pretty much the same thing. It's not complicated. We all over complicate our own things. >> So, yeah, grew up like that. Uh even my plus one and plus two I sort of uh was in Mysaw. I was away from my parents and uh [clears throat] degree also.
(31:56) Uh the first year in Ramaya, I was studying in Bangalore. uh first year was in the hostel and after the first year I started working. So because of the uneven timelines the night shoots yo a my parents got me a flat to which they also moved and uh 2 three years I was in Bangalore and I shifted to Hyderabad. >> So this has been my life journey.
(32:18) >> Yeah. Um any industry close group of it becomes a popularity contest and popularity contest are very similar to what high school middle school tend to be. M >> gossiping there is politicality somewhere [clears throat] >> but it's a very interesting thing you learned and picked that up in the hostel and it's still survival at the top level huh do you remember what you learned >> see also because um my parents now >> they sort of built what they have today when I was in the hostel which means we didn't have what we had today back then
(32:57) >> which means Means like I was also one girl who studied one two years in Tamil Nadu where I didn't know English. I wasn't exposed to a lot of English where I came to this hostel in coup and suddenly someone asked me something in English and I've I've gone mum >> I didn't know so I was terrible I couldn't communicate in English.
(33:23) uh I wasn't like my exposure was Tamil and I don't know I think Tamil only because I was around Tamil people right um so coming to this already my first step into the school was not very great because she she doesn't know how to speak English you know how stupid is this like she's not far with us >> so it started like that and >> you've gone to the school in fourth grade until 10th grade I was here So people already have that mindset, right? And no matter how much you learn and no matter how much you speak in English, people already have that you're lesser
(33:57) than us kind of mind space. >> So then I realized that okay that is my survival instinct where I just smile through things. I'm just like okay fine. All the seniors whatever they say it's right. All the juniors they won't talk because why would they talk? And these senior boys will be like okay can you go and give this love letter to my girlfriend from this class this class? this this so you're like a mediator and if you get caught you you get caught they don't get caught because I'm also someone who doesn't give away
(34:26) >> I'll I'll be like okay it's mine I'm that kind of person I've always been that so now after this you come into the industry and then like people are like oh she has a different accent >> or she has she's not a good actor or something like this happens now you're like this I've been dealing with since age old So this is nothing new.
(34:50) >> I'm not very See, it makes you feel bad when someone says like you work day in day out for a film and if someone says your performance is not good, then it hurts you. It stings you a little, but it's not like heartbreaking where I'm like, "Oh maybe I'm not made for this." So then you learn to, okay, this is what they're saying, but I'm going to do my best and I'm going to entrust all my time and effort to the director, right? I mean that's what I'm saying.
(35:18) Not very many things change when you grow up. It's just maybe something that you're dealing with in school just becomes larger scale. But the how you approach two things can be as simple as that. >> Okay. Not everyone is going to like you. Deal with it. No. Like not everyone is going to like you.
(35:38) But are you earning well for yourself? Are you happy with your family, friends, and your partner? Good enough. What more do you want? Yeah, that's a really steep bargain to have happiness and something I've come to learn as I've grown up. I mean, sure, things could be better, but things are great. Things are beautiful. I'm so grateful.
(35:59) Like, somebody's looking after it. It just cannot be, you know, like me. I can't be controlling this ship. So much randomness. And family, if your parents are happy, if you have a loving partner, dude, that's that's that's a lot. >> That's a blessing. >> Yeah. But I'm assuming you guys are ambitious with your work.
(36:16) You don't get here without being ambitious, >> right? What is like >> what's the ambition? >> Like when do you think >> the goalpost keeps changing? No. >> Yeah. Should it be one thing? >> I don't know. It's >> I want to understand like what is it? When do you think you've done enough? And do you ever wonder about that? Is that even a question in your head? >> Me? >> I don't think about doing enough.
(36:41) I feel like you have one life. I got like 80 good years in me. I need to do something with it. If Uh so I think it's just like for some reason with the world got created in a way I don't even know how that we as a species came and now we this 80 years is there just do something with it be productive push whatever you I think purpose is beautiful if you wake up
(37:26) >> feeling looking forward to something >> it's good enough it could be planting something and watching it grow or it could be wanting to become a unicorn. Uh but if you're able to do something that makes you happy the your family happy and can contribute in some way to because we are a social we're a social animal we are a society as a structure.
(37:56) uh our actions can affect other people. If you can do things to benefit others also is like a beautiful thing. But primary purposes at least your wife and h family and parents and kids if you can make happy that's a super successful >> life right now >> life in itself. >> You feel the same? I feel like I fully 100% agree with what he says.
(38:27) I feel like we're all here to we have this particular phase that you're bought into this world. You're alive and you move on from this world. >> Your only choice is what do I do till then? >> Yeah. Yeah. You're coming. You need to do something till the time you need to go. >> Right? So in these years what do you want to do? Some choose happiness.
(38:56) Some choose like I want to achieve so many things. Some choose I I just want to be married and just bus. Some choose farming. Some choose agriculture. It depends on what they want to do. But in the end of the day like he says, we need food to eat. We need roof over our um >> over our head. Yeah.
(39:17) And we need clothes to wear which is we should be able to buy what we like which is 100% we're all here to do that. >> All of us get dealt different cards and there's lot of >> I know there's a lot we are talking from comfortable lives. I'm an actor. You're doing 26 episodes a month podcasting. Very comfortable. >> Yeah. Very comfortable.
(39:39) [laughter] >> But there's lots of struggle and lots of hardship in in lots of people's life. They just they they got the wrong hand. >> Yeah. >> Uh but still to have some purpose like even those people have purpose. They want to see their kids get educated. >> Like our parents lot of our parents were were like that.
(40:07) Like my uh my parents' sole purpose in life was give these two boys a good education. If they get a job and get a salary and if they can build us a house, the only thing that would tell us all our houses all my life from my grandmother to my parents, everybody needs their own house. >> Yeah. >> Once if you have that enough, that was just the goal for life they gave us.
(40:36) It's not easy to to do that somehow life very very kind >> to the life I live now it's two different completely different kinds of lives but also life presented me the opportunity I also attacked it aggressively because uh yeah because of who I am and how I think or whatever but we should consider that lots of people get dealt really hard hands and um but for them it's just about having that purpose and doing it and it's like a great fulfillment.
(41:15) It's just move that one step >> uh further. We we've got this life. It's beautiful experience and I think hardships everything need to you need to uh I like hard like life gets really hard sometimes but you need to love hard. I'm like give it to me hard. Uh hero resistance resistance breaks. Every hero that you see on screen, every
(42:01) book you read from from Ramayan to Odyssey to Bahubali are like guys who faced resistance on every level from their own family. They've dealt they've been dealt the hardest things and they've beaten that thing and come out on top. So you need to look at this her obstacle hero journey part. M it's like do you enjoy games that are easy easy? Yeah.
(42:38) No, >> you want complicated You want to beat that and then you're like then you get that dopamine that >> did it. >> So life [clears throat] as a game >> play beat win. >> Yeah. What did you learn from your mom and dad? >> My mom and dad um they actually worked for where they are today with all of the willpower and the um [clears throat] ambitious ambition that they had basically came from nothing.
(43:18) But now they have security in terms of money and land and all of that and they've worked for it. And my dad used to like like very similar to Vijay's parents where they needed he needed me to be wellstudied so that >> any well educated so that any form that you read >> any form that you sign you need to be able to read it and understand it.
(43:49) >> He came from that. He was like, "You need to know what you're putting your signatures on." He came from that and my mom came from the space of you need to earn so that you're very independent, right? Which a lot of women don't get to do, don't have an option. this even if they want to work and even if they want to like earn for themselves they have resistance from family members or society or what you know things like this but I had a support from my mother where she was like work work hard earn save these were her things and which I
(44:32) do even till today I'm like I'm also now thinking okay after 20 years when you know I won't be able to do the same work that I'm doing today. I need the money that I saved today to take care of me and my kids in the future and their grandkids. I'm thinking in that way. So I think these things I have learned from my parents.
(44:55) Um because al also our parents struggled to where they are today and luckily I got this support from them to >> dream big and sort of you know actually work for what I dreamt >> not a not [clears throat] even 10% of the people don't get to do this you know very few get to do this so I really am grateful for that really respect that and yeah yeah today we're all >> [laughter] >> Um, when you were talking about the game partst, that's my dad's first lesson to me.
(45:33) I can etch it somewhere. And loving hard is a great way of saying it because when hard hits that morning when you wake up and it's stuff's just bad, man, there are two ways that day can go and it totally depends on your attitude, right? >> You need to be a little bit crazy to be like, give me more hard, >> right? Yeah.
(45:51) >> Um, is there something specific you remember that your parents taught you? >> My mom is all love >> for her. Uh, nothing else matters. uh like she's the kind of mom who imagine you have an exam. There'll be mothers who will be like study wake up and you have a tuution at 4:00 a.m. imagine or a special class.
(46:24) She'll be like sleep. It'll rain outside [laughter] you sleep. True. >> And my dad is like you don't screw them [laughter] you'll screw their lives. But my mom is always like she wants us to be slept wellfed. She wants us to be happy. Uh that's her view of life. She's just all >> today if I have to tell her that I have to go for shoot like >> stay at home. Wow.
(46:50) >> She like why are you working so hard at the same time she is really emotional and appreciative that >> all your hard work has changed our lives. But then she doesn't want us to work. She wants us to be happy and home and she she feels sad that you work hard kind of. So my mom's like that. Uh I uh my dad's been uh like for the major chunk of my once I came back to Hyderabad every day I would wake up and uh my dad would be sitting in the hall and I had to sit with him and he would give me a 2 three hour lesson on life just every day this was a
(47:34) thing. >> Did you enjoy it then? I didn't enjoy it initially and every day felt like oh okay I know what's coming and I would tell my friends my friends would like where are you what I would like dad's taking a class and they all knew that he's gone for 2 three hours and he would just talk like about he had a lot of angst in life he saw a lot of struggle he was seeing a lot of struggle and he didn't want me to go through that and he didn't know how what else how else uh to to take this out and to make sure I didn't go through it. And
(48:08) he was somebody who believed in. He was like you can uh learn in life like you can put your finger in fire and learn that it burns or you can watch someone putting their finger learn it burns and don't go near it. He was like the second thing is easier. >> So he was like learn as much as you can without having to firsthand experience it because it's an edge.
(48:28) So he would tell me read as many books because all these people have experience in life. Read as much learn from it. So you don't have to do the whole journey of physically experiencing each thing and learning from it. So it would be like learn that was one thing he would say and somehow both my my dad would constantly tell me that you're meant for something big.
(48:51) I have no clue what I wanted to do. who was one aimless kid like everyone else just watching cricket playing cricket doing aimless stuff for a lot of life but somehow constantly hearing that you're meant for something big you're meant for something so I believe words parenting what you say to the kids is forming things in their head and I began to believe that I'm here for a purpose and I have I have to do something big also I think he believed it specifically because a lot of things happen in life like us being born is a miracle.
(49:32) >> Mhm. >> If we talk about it just the whole biological process of one sperm hitting an egg from millions on a particular day of the month. It could be anybody but you were born out of millions. It's it's one biological miracle that any one of us is even born. And then like how my dad met my mother uh how their wedding happened is like a very almost like a supernatural bunch of events that led to it.
(50:13) So my dad somehow believed that it was very strange like it was not his decision nor my mother's decision. A whole bunch of things were parallelly. They were from two villages nearby. A whole sequence of events were happening in his village which pushed him to being married. A whole sequence of events were happening in my mother's life where they were desperate to get her married and she was returning from somewhere in a bus and my father was coming going to his village and at some point both got onto the same bus and my father was like
(50:49) he really needed to take the decision quickly. He was like, "If I have to marry, uh, there's this girl I saw in that bus. Find out." And because my mom's parents were really desperate because of a whole bunch of strange incidents, which is like a which is like a story in itself, they were like, "Okay, let's do it.
(51:06) " >> Uh, if any like multiple things had to happen for this. He was like even if one of them didn't happen, we wouldn't be married and you wouldn't be born, >> right? >> Uh, and so he would constantly believe that. He would tell us when we were kids that either you or your younger brother is born here for a purpose.
(51:21) I don't know who >> uh live up to it kind of thing. So I think hearing that just subconsciously puts a responsibility onto you that I need to do something also. You don't want to live that life man like >> uh life with no money is no fun. It's hard really hard. >> So I I was like I really want to change it. I will either change it drastically or pack my bags and disappear.
(51:49) I don't live in this social structure in this life. I'll I'll deal with it. I'll just vanish kind of space I was in and uh things happened. Yeah. But we lived with a lot of confidence. That's something I had from you. Never felt growing up. I never felt the hard life. I knew that I was never getting the cricket bat that I wanted >> or I didn't have a cycle for many years when all my friends had and had to ride theirs or we didn't have a TV for very long.
(52:22) But there was so much love and we were always entertained >> uh with that old bat. We were playing cricket for hours. My dad would play with me and my brother and you didn't you don't think so much >> as long as you're engaged and you have love and you can sleep on your dad's arms and hug him and >> your mom is and grandmother are pampering you.
(52:43) You don't think of all these things. You always >> they brought you up. Yeah. You're happy and they brought you up with confidence. My dad would always talk big things >> even though if you had nothing like I'll build a house in Jubilee Hills which is really big. >> Yeah. My mom would be like save money and buy a land here.
(52:58) It's the it's really cheap right now in some from the city 50 60 km >> and I now live there my house is there so they talk like all these things he would always talk he would talk big his delusion passed on to me [laughter] >> that's the thing like [clears throat] words have power and parenting is so important that no matter what you are going no matter what your mother and father is conversing about, the child is taking it.
(53:33) >> Yeah, they're listening to everything. >> They're listening to everything >> and it's shaping them. >> And the thing is you I feel like he genuinely got his confidence from his dad and mom and like I just sometimes sit and think about we are both actors. We're doing the same films and you know working in the same industries but his way of thinking and my way of thinking are very different and I more so often keep thinking why do I think like this where is it coming from and then it goes back into >> childhood my
(54:11) >> childhood it's like >> you know back then this had happened and that's why hence it's engraved in my brain >> to think a certain way >> and I'm very proud of the woman I am today. But a lot of things that I have to work on is rooted from back then. So it's so incredibly important how you parent a child. It's insane.
(54:34) It's >> even the content videos. Everything is shaping who you become. I don't like to watch films about losers or read watch series about >> uh psycho killers and losers and all. I like >> uh >> heroic stuff. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like I like documentaries of sports people. >> Dude, I love that stuff. >> Yeah. Michael Jordan documentary.
(55:04) >> Yeah. I'm like, why do I watch this sad victory something? I'm giving this much time and it's all like if you see horror films, I remember watching a horror film like when I was in my 10th or 11th. >> You watched? >> Yeah. uh in 11th I some Korean CDs >> ring kucha >> I couldn't sleep for like months alone like it would scare I hate horror I remember I remember >> till now I then I was like why do I have to watch horror put it in my head scare myself where it's affecting me it's shaping it's affecting everything that I
(55:44) consume is like shaping something in you so cut so useful cut. Yeah. Tell me about the project. Um [laughter] that is why this is a podcast. My job is to get you lost in your stories and then be like, "Oh, by the way, film promotion." [laughter] >> Tell me about the movie. I mean, this is an awesome set.
(56:12) Uh I've been here a couple of hours. Um I can talk about it, but I'm a useless idiot when it comes to talking about things I don't belong in. [laughter] You tell me. Tell me about how did you decide to do it? What do you like about it? Whatever you can say because you know I don't want to pry. >> See I was uh this film came to me.
(56:30) I was listening to a podcast called Empire which was suggested by someone. >> It's a history podcast. a history podcast on on how the English traders East India Company came and became an empire that settled down in India and >> and everything the whole journey of how that happened and I was so mindb blown by it. I was so affected by the information and my own history and I was like and I didn't know any of it and it's a beautiful podcast.
(57:00) I recommend everyone to watch it. But by the time I was done with it, I was feeling a sense of anger. I was I was wanting revenge in a way. Even though it this is something that happened 150 200 years, but over 200 years being ruled and what all happened to our country. I was I was seeking revenge. And like a couple of months later, Rahul, my director Rahul Sankritan comes to me with the story about an episode of the Madras famine.
(57:31) Uh it's a film set from in the village he's from. And he's from a region called Ry Seima uh in Andhra Pradesh and they're like really rough people uh there. They're hardcore. Uh a lot of politicians come from there and they have a history of uh being uh you don't mess with them essentially. [laughter] They're little on the edge violence kind of guys.
(57:57) [laughter] So he wrote a story set in in 1876 in Rayala where the British want to come and lay tracks. First for me knowing about the Madras famine, I just on the podcast heard about the Bengal famine and it disturbed me and then he was telling me about Madras famine. I was like one more and when I went into reading about it, looking at the images from these famines, looking at the whole story of why the Indian railways was built.
(58:25) We were all told that the railways was built by the British but no one told us why it was built uh and on whose backs it was built and at what cost it was built. And I'm like, we all I know about Hitler and I know what happened to the Jews. I know I have visuals and uh I feel sympathy for them. I don't know my own story.
(58:50) And uh so I was excited that this is a story. This is knowing our history is really important. I believe for anybody knowing their story, [snorts] I was telling somebody that it's scary to be a 60-year-old and not remember your 20s and 30s and 40s. Like imagine >> you don't remember that whole episode. It's like a scary thing and it's also scary because you cannot tell your kids like my dad passed on so much knowledge to me from his life.
(59:19) [snorts] He will pass it on to his grandkids as well. So if you do not know your history, how do you ensure it doesn't happen again? And >> and setting history right is really important because history in a way is propaganda. It's a narrative >> of who did what and this and it's going like 200 years back history we're reading now we are going to read it 300 years later we at least need to correct it now so that the next generations know what actually happened what we survived what we did and I think it's important to tell this at school that's one layer
(59:50) educating them at school but cinema is is a great medium to to correct the buried history and to correct narratives that were said so that's one part that really >> resonates >> resonated with me to be able to do this and of course the the world that is set in the characters like Rya characters in itself are very interesting uh because of the kind of people they are uh and the culture they come from and how this culture has kept us together through all kinds of dark chapters and highs and lows in our history.
(1:00:34) >> So when said through all these mediums, it was packaged really nicely and it felt like >> a responsibility to do it and it also felt exciting for me to take it on. So I was like I'm we should do this. I should do this. I would like it in my film filmography. It's a film that I would really like on my filmography.
(1:00:55) >> Mhm. >> What did How did you come across the movie? What did you think? >> So I remember that uh Rahul had mentioned uh spoken about this film to Vijay and he came home and he spoke about this film to me. Uh and when he spoke about the Medas famine the thing is see I was never good at history in school.
(1:01:22) Okay, marks getting marks for me for history was a huge because the dates and the names are really hard >> and for me I don't remember what happens yesterday. So for me back in school also I wouldn't remember anything. >> Uh I would mug up mug up mug up and forget just before writing it right >> but I knew about this Madras famine. I knew about the Bengal famine but when you get into the story of it no saying okay uh British were putting railway for us convincing us saying we're bringing food to help you know people of famine or people who are affected but railways
(1:02:05) also could be taking food away from the affected. >> Right. >> Right. It's it there's two ways to it and then what they told us to what they actually did are two different sides of the coin. So hence when you get into reading about all of this no you start understanding that this has happened to your family like your greatgrandfathers and the >> you know our ancestors it's happened to them and today >> like example in India okay we'll take up all the present today I just used to keep wondering that dude I work out so
(1:02:45) much I'm on my diet but I feel like If I look at food, I'm, you know, going to put on weight. The sad reality is that our DNA rem remembers what happened to our ancestors. So, our bodies have learned to sort of >> survive, right? So, right now it's in a fight orflight state where it's like, okay, the famine might come, so we need to be prepared.
(1:03:14) So any little thing that you eat or you breathe or anything it's saving your body from the calamities that might come. So these are the things right. So when you learn a lot more about your history you know okay this is why it's happen all the things that's happening in the present is happening. Now the only thing is you need to learn history so that in the future you can protect yourself and protect your people and just can be prepared for what's to come if at all it's going to come.
(1:03:46) >> So I feel like it's important like that. I just feel like it's an important >> thing to speak about these things in our history so that you understand a little more as to why what's happening and what might happen. >> Yeah. Actually, that's a fantastic setup for like any asking you anything more is going to probably reveal too much.
(1:04:08) Um, but guys, I should say thank you so much for being so real and so playful throughout this. It's been a blast. If you're ever in Delhi and you need somebody to hang out, just putting it out there. I've had so much fun. Um, thank you. If you have any questions for me, if you have something to say to the audience, the mics are all yours.
(1:04:30) >> Have a good life. I wish you well. May the God's blessings be with all of you. >> Likewise. >> Yeah, likewise. No pressure. >> I hope I hope uh yeah, be happy. Be >> sukraush. [laughter] >> I'm glad for you trying in Hindi. It's a good look. It's a good look. >> No, thank you so much. I've had so much fun. Thank you so much. too.
(1:04:55) Thank you so much for >> Yeah. Well, I'm so glad. Um, thank you. I guess >> since YouTube algorithm is suggesting you to definitely watch this one as well. You'll definitely like it or huh? Yeah. Subscribe. Thank you.
Author Name:Prakhar Gupta
Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@ThePrakharGuptaXperience
Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jlDBdjz_3w
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Transcript:
(00:00) Your guys's love story is fascinating. >> I used to call him sir [laughter] >> because I was new into the industry. >> I was scared of girls and I'm an actor married to this one beautiful woman. At that age I was somebody who didn't believe in love. It took growing up and maturity to understand that don't disrespect the love in your life.
(00:26) Then you meet somebody and you're like by nature love has to be a car you're not driving. >> But also we human beings always need to keep making efforts for those people who we love. >> I've put a block in my head that this is who I am. And now we live live up to our own story. >> It's only delusion till you make it up.
(00:44) Then it's reality and then it's belief. Listening to a podcast called Empire which was suggested by someone on how the English traders East India Company came and became an empire. I was so affected by the information and my own history and I was like and I didn't know any of it. >> I knew about the Bengal family but when you get into the story of it what they told us to what they actually did this has happened to your family.
(01:09) >> I don't know my own story. So I was excited that this is a story. This is knowing our history is really important. 73% viewers regularly. Please subscribe favorite guest or conversations. Okay, first podcast guys. Full practice. I respect full practice.
(01:55) I appreciate film interviews, philosophy, childhood actually eventually like cinema so much of what south produces Hindi produce something there is a way in which culture is becoming very mono. >> What is the difference between an interview and podcast essentially? >> Okay. So the first difference is that you should be in my studio and I should not be [laughter] the other thing is podcast generally
(02:43) agenda [laughter] [laughter] Mike. >> [laughter] >> No problem. But I'm imagining [laughter] you know what is very interesting is um just how I don't know what the right word is. Your guys's love story is fascinating. It's like my feed for months has been
(03:28) the two of [clears throat and laughter] you. Um, and I was wondering if you guys remember how you met. Of course you remember how you met. >> Yeah. Yeah, we met on set. >> We met on set. >> What movie is that? Can you >> Okay. And you knew instantly. >> No. No. No. You >> You said no first, huh? >> Yeah. Instantly.
(03:46) >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Can you ever know instantly? at first. You can know instantly she's beautiful but to know instantly she's the one I know nothing about her. Uh so I did uh I did think she was a very beautiful girl but you're meeting set professionally third movie >> fourth fourth picture. So you're more about the excitement of being on set and the nerves of being day one on set with a new team and the aspiration of successful picture say
(04:33) first day on any set is very nerve-wracking new team new character. So the first few days are always a little you're trying to find it on edge. you're not comfortable enough to think about love and such. So yeah, day one we might it's it's going to be 10 years next year or the next no this year it was 8 years.
(05:00) So my when people ask me >> uh >> no it's been 8 years since we've met but 8 years since >> since film released. So that's my that film is my marker for how [laughter] long I've known her. >> Only after the film is done can I allow myself to fall in love. It's not about the film. You can fall in love on set also. I'm sure many people have.
(05:20) Uh but I think it's more about >> uh falling in love. First of all, at that age, I was somebody who didn't believe in love. >> How old were you then? >> I was what 27 28 >> 28 >> 27 I think. >> 9 years ago. I'm 37 now. So 29. >> Yeah. Okay. So if you look at my interviews from then I talk about love very u >> from a distance like >> yeah I talk about it almost disrespectfully and it comes from ignorance and uh it comes from that young energy but I would be like love is a is a marketing term.
(05:58) What is love? How we've all fallen in love multiple times in life. How can So what does love mean? if I can fall in love with someone and then fall in love with somebody else to and stuff. So I would talk like that a lot but you didn't appreciate that love it's a real thing that is there like you feel your mother's love don't you? So there is something there is love and there is intense love there is love where people think about you more than themselves even so so much it took growing up and maturity to understand that don't
(06:40) disrespect the love in your life don't say love is a marketing term >> like respect it appreciate it nurture it so then I started looking at love relationships uh differently and then eventually it took How old are you? >> I'm 30. >> 30? Oh, you're like young young [laughter] man. >> I thought 30. Okay. He say okay.
(07:10) You look like 35 young. >> I'll take it brother. I'll take it. I'm done with that compliment. >> 30. >> I also got married only last year. >> Oh, that's like really young. You're so It took me I had to make >> You were late. [laughter] >> It took me like when I was 36 finally I felt like I was ready and mature enough to to first understand this to to love it and I felt ready >> but it took me 36.
(07:47) At 29 you felt it mature. Huh. Um I had brief phases where I had no desire to believe in love. You know your heart breaks and all that. Then you meet somebody and you're like like this is not something I want to control. This is I'm not in the driving seat of something like this >> or a lot of my friends who are my age ask me this all the time.
(08:12) Actually I take your opinion on this also key. Um how do we think of marriage? How do we think of love? And by nature, love has to be a car you're not driving. It has to be something that's driving itself and you're enjoying the journey. And when it happens, there is this sort of I am taken in. >> I'm now no longer swimming against the current >> and then it just rolls in like >> um [snorts] [laughter] and I'm very glad for it.
(08:39) >> Um beyond there's a new world to discover properly, >> right? Like living together is very different than just dating also. M >> so huh I I I think I got lucky also in some way I met the right person at the right age >> um a lot of people because society arranged or love maybe divided so a lot of people also shuffle between that and I'm observing a lot of that with my friends right now you know that kind of stuff >> you know can I just give you two bits into it >> I completely agree with you that you can't be the driver it has to just be a
(09:14) automobile where it's just like going by itself. But also [clears throat] we human beings always need to keep making efforts >> for those people who we love >> because most very often that we make a lot of effort for people everyone else other than people at your own house. I keep thinking that you know very soon after you get married um some things some very basic things you stop telling each other like something like a good morning or are you doing well or how is your day it goes into huh my partner already knows now
(09:58) what's the point of saying it and then it could go into like why haven't I heard this in such a long time and then the uh our things in life would be you know driving us into different aspects in life generally. So I feel like efforts no matter how um into the relationship you are or into the marriage you are or even if you have kids together I still feel like those little e efforts should be made for each other >> and that is love.
(10:37) It's it's not like it it should be effortless but also you need to do these things because you want to do these things and that's that's something that I believe in love. >> Is your story congruent to his story? Similar like were you also antithetical to love when you first met him? >> No no she's very clear about relationships. Look at how she's talking.
(11:00) She makes sure she tells me I love you at least 15 10 15 times a day and she tells me that it's important that I express I constantly feel it but I shouldn't feel like it's okay he knows and >> uh and I don't need to say it and she tells me which makes me aware uh that because we're so caught up in life that sometimes you can forget theseh smaller, simpler but important things.
(11:34) So she's the one who who she actually made me >> [laughter] [laughter] >> relax by nature. That's probably your upbringing, your childhood. You are who you are because of everything that you don't even remember. Everything shapes you into the kind of person you are. And I was somebody who needed to uh
(12:18) at one point she Yeah. somebody who needs to almost ensure that this relationship has gone through every obstacle and lasted before. I remember when I first met him on set, I used to call him sir [laughter] >> because I was new into the industry and he had done like three four films by the time and I used to be like yeah sir, okay sir.
(12:46) Um, and there was also this time where uh on the day one I was playing some random music and he like goes like turn that music off and I was like I was like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wait what is going on why is he pissing waiters [laughter] every word you say has consequences >> consequences I was like [laughter] it was a very casual I'm like a tool to blunt And I assume that everyone understands the intention.
(13:18) >> Yeah. >> I feel like we should be able to talk freely, openly, but sometimes when you don't know each other fully, it was stupid of me to assume she'll get it. So, it was a casual like what is the shitty music you're playing? I shouted because we had to share a caravan with a locked door in between. But caravan half she was playing some music on a speaker which I could hear and I was like music I was like what is that shitty music >> this is the first thing your co- actor is telling you >> what correct correct in your it's
(13:56) absolutely right and I feel like now [laughter] that >> I think she had tears in her eyes because she was like oh he doesn't like >> because it's a new place new industry it's going to be [laughter] hard. How am I going to >> 100 days? [laughter] >> It's going to be torture if he's like this.
(14:15) But then I she told me this much later though. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For a long time. I hadn't said it. >> I was like, "What? You took that made you cry? What are you saying?" >> And I was extremely sensitive. Okay. Like everything would make me like tear up well up and all of that. [clears throat] and then uh going to the set and there were these uh situations when like you know we started working in the film and he would help me with the dialogue and everything and that's when every time I used to call him sir he used to be like stop calling me that I have a name call
(14:43) me that and then it of course became Vijay and then we became friends and then because we did two films back to back with each other we sort of like spent so much time with each other we were like pretty much talking to each other the whole day, right? Because you're shooting and you're prepping for the same film.
(15:05) Hence became like he was my best friend back then. >> And then later on, much later on, uh that I was like, okay, now I'm feeling something, you know, this is not I just believe that God has his hand in our relationship like in our love. I believe there's some sort of supreme power who's guided us into this >> but yeah and hence happened the wedding and here we are [laughter] >> and here we are it's beautiful you guys have a very interesting story and it always begins with like love story [laughter] something occurs and you're like what and then you know the head
(15:46) turn and all of that stuff happens is very cool >> is there any time you anyone is not thinking do you have any time where your mind is Only when I do 10day long meditation retreats I do and then you come out of there and 4 5 days you're like >> when your mind's not working. >> I really want to experience this.
(16:05) >> Bro, you would love that stuff. >> Is it? Did you do vipasana? Vipasa. >> Oh my god. I can't I'll die. >> Start with something smaller. There are other things you can do. Vipasana sounds rough. >> I know. >> I know. I'm really interested by the concept >> but it it's one human experiment at another level. >> You know the people who are the most scared are also the most excited cuz you know there is something there and sometimes I just push people over and they go there and they come back.
(16:42) I have a bet with my friends cuz it's so life-changing. Either you take I've done here once and once in America. >> Here in Shimla. I heard they have a centers everywhere. Huh? They centers everywhere. They'll be sent 30 km from here. >> Uh and you stay there. You stay there those 10 days. >> Yeah.
(17:03) You don't um write anything, read anything. I know the process. >> I love it. Let's >> fantastic. >> Oh, but we can't. [laughter] >> Yeah. No, but they're separate. >> Yeah. the men and women except when you're meditating. >> No. Yeah, but if I have 10 days off, I'd rather be with him. >> I'd rather be on a beach. [laughter] >> Where do you guys like to holiday? >> Everywhere.
(17:28) Like I want to see the world. >> He's a full beach guy. >> I'm a beach guy. If you The popular question is beach or mountain. I don't know why I have to choose, but [laughter] if if I had the choice, I would want a beach because it's wibes are good. mountain is more uh it feels like one introspective more >> we don't need any more introspective [laughter] for you >> I need activity >> yeah I need I need activity yeah >> and you grew up in Hyderabad also no >> I was born here most from age when I was age six >> I was put in a boarding school in a
(18:02) place called anapur inaparti it's uh so it is a boarding school boy hostel from age 6 to 15 I grew up there. So most of my life was in that boarding school and uh after my 10th I came back to Hyderabad and I've been here since. Yeah. >> So of the very few interviews that I could find of you guys in my research.
(18:24) There's one interesting line that stood out. I don't know if you know he talks about being very nervous talking to women when he moved back to Hyderabad. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That was dapper guy. >> Huh. >> If I looked like you, I would never be afraid. >> I I always didn't look like this. And I don't think it was to do with looks.
(18:40) It was just to do with when you grow up in a boarding school, a boy's hostel from age 6 to age 15 and you haven't uh other than female teachers >> and my head mistress ma'am who was a who we loved but we had fear and respect for. Uh you never you never saw a woman. Uh you would see girls like >> they were a concept [laughter] >> like women are there and they kind of walk like this.
(19:17) We weren't allowed to look at each other and stuff. It was really strict. >> Wow. >> And we spent 10 months in a year in boarding school. So those holidays summer and summer you would come and you would be home with your parents, grandparents, cousins watching TV. We didn't even have TV there. We were shown one film every 2 weeks.
(19:40) Uh we would be shown one film. Uh and as we grew up from 8th grade, we were shown news for 10 minutes. Just the headlines of the day would be cut by somebody. Uh and we would be shown news. So holidays cinema was like I remember those because you get to see one movie every 2 weeks. the excitement when you know it's movie night.
(20:04) It would be on a Sunday from morning we would be excited trying to find out what movie we would run with our little mats on our terrace they would have a projector uh we would sit and I remember up titles skip we don't have patience these days but that day every title like 500 students would be like reading it out like village road show pictures reeves leaves as we would be reading out because we were just so excited and then you would be im getting immersed in that world I still remember how it felt it was um it was something else uh so coming back to
(20:45) your question so when you come after 10 years which are kind of your formative years and now you're a teenager with hormones and you know you have this attraction to the opposite species but you don't know how the species operates you don't know how they are you don't know if you can talk if you talk do they think you're some kind of you don't have the balls first of all to do it you don't have the courage >> so it was a it took me 2 three like the first two years of coming back I didn't speak uh to a girl at all
(21:17) >> that's 11 12th >> 11 12 as in the girls somehow thought that so we would have a a busa college bus uh and it went from I was staying in Sinagar colony Then uh so it would start from Jubilee Hills Shinhar colony behind India won't know these places and go to a place called Up somehow in Hyderabad uh reason but some most the most beautiful girls live in these areas areas.
(21:54) >> Sure. I'm sure >> somehow in these areas pretty girls. So the bus was filled with really pretty girls. Uh but uh I knew that I had this attraction towards them by biology or nature. But I had no courage to talk to them. And every boy would be you know that age that is the that is their main >> aim >> aim and goal in life to have a girlfriend face >> right >> so but I was the one who would always be looking outside the window not talking and I didn't know I didn't even know one boy from Hyderabad >> so imagine you get into a college where
(22:32) everyone is from some school so groups all are from this L little flower egg group, HPSA group, and they're all gangs of boys. You have you don't know one boy. You've never spoken to a girl. So, you just sit in one corner and look outside the window. And somehow these girls girls thought that uh that was cool or that this guy doesn't care.
(22:57) I don't know what went on through their mind. So, they would call me and ask me to sit with them and chat. And uh because I was scared of looking into their eye, I would look outside the window and talk and maybe they thought that was cool again. So I was called [laughter] >> I was called life here. >> So >> it was really scared.
(23:20) It was like I was filled with my heart would be pounding at like some [clears throat] but then at some point uh I think post my interse I thought and when I went to my undergrad I did BCOM The first pretty girl I saw, I just spoke to her and slowly the fear went. The first few times I was speaking to her, I'm sure I was I was scared and nervous and stuff.
(24:02) But life may be like when you drive a car for the first time, you're like, "Oh my god, there's one car coming from here. There's one truck and there's three things down and one gear. There's just too many things." But at some point, you don't even know that you're driving. You're thinking about work and you've reached your home.
(24:17) you're not even looking at the direction that you're going. So I feel like in life everything with the repetitiveness of doing something makes you comfortable with with any with anything and we're all capable of everything. I don't think like public speaking yeah girls other than uh other than some biological or genetic phobias which might be which I'm not a doctor I can't talk about I think most of everything is in your head and uh everybody can do anything is something like all of us I was scared of
(25:01) public speaking. I'm an actor now who gives speeches and does podcasts with you and I was scared of girls and then I'm an actor married to this beautiful woman. Yeah. So, >> so I I believe very strongly that people like to categorize themselves. We like to say I'm introvert extrovert which is true to an extent.
(25:28) we have something because again it comes from childhood the environment we grow up in but every introvert with his close friends is an extrovert I'm sure he's cracking jokes and loud with his best friend at least just when he's around others is he feeling shut off or is he feeling exhausted and tired with that social interaction and would rather not but so my question was if you can be so happy with people you're so close with.
(26:01) >> That means you're not incapable of speaking or you're not incapable of >> hanging out, >> hanging out and chatting. It's just I've put a block in my head that this is who I am. >> And now we live live up to >> our own story. >> Our own story. So it's very important every thought you think, every word you say, it's important what you're saying because your brain doesn't know, your brain thinks this is the truth.
(26:30) You're instilling that neural connection in your brain >> that this is you and we're creating this persona and uh and that's that's what's happening. So say the right things and Um I think the number one thing you are controlled by is your own perception of yourself. >> Yeah. >> And job incidentally ended up becoming just talking to extremely successful people um all in their own right in their own field >> or may say people who are not from these worlds when they talk to me my friends I I live with my parents um I make it a
(27:12) point I live in my hometown and all those things. Um, so when they ask me what I've learned, what is your best conversation? What have you learned? And I tell them the number one secret is delusion. >> You have to be crazy delusional. If you tell yourself a story now, you will live up to that story. Then you cannot say, "Oh my life turned out this way.
(27:29) " >> You have to be crazy delusional that you do whatever you want to do and then suddenly when magic starts happening, as I'm sure you guys have experienced, you're talking about your first film, right? from the first till this so many days you would have woken up be like up oh my god now I have this opportunity also and it's just cuz probably you believed at 15 you could do all of this and more right like for me at least to whatever extent I've played the games of society every day I wake up and I'm like oh crazy okay this too now and it's
(28:01) fantastic I love it um it sucks when people close the door on themselves >> it's only delusion till you make it happen >> and then it's reality Then it's reality and then it's belief. So >> completely be delusional. >> Be delusional. People will judge, people will mock, people laugh, people believe, people will support, but it's only delusion till you make it happen.
(28:25) >> Yeah. >> You also went to boarding school. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What? Like boarding school is interesting. Both of you went to boarding school. I wonder if like there is something to sort of being away from family that inculcates something different. Do you find that to be the case >> for me? [clears throat] I w I got into the boarding very very young when >> she was like what three or four or something? >> Yeah.
(28:50) Yeah. I first went to a PG and then uh I went into the boarding school but my boarding was again co-et. So boys host, girls host but uh you [clears throat and cough] till the fifth grade you guys are having dinner together in different rows and uh after fifth of course you have girls uh dining hall, boys dining hall and stuff like that. Uh so like ever since the beginning there was always this interaction with you know your classmates were boys and there was this concept of having boyfriend girlfriend but boyfriend if his friends start teasing one girl
(29:30) with you that means she's your girlfriend >> that's it like there was nothing in terms of actually I don't know what actually >> or your choice even choice or not because Sometimes senior boys will like the junior girls and if the seniors say that you're dating this guy, you're dating this guy.
(29:51) There was no like [laughter] >> Yeah. So it was always like that. >> It was always like that. And then of course >> like what boyfriend, girlfriend in fifth class, one slap you need. >> Correct. Correct. I absolutely agree. >> But [laughter] like that that's how our hostel was. And then >> also it's a hostel in Coug, right? So you have like people from KO and people from different parts of the world coming in together and they bring sort of this new traditions and stuff and if you don't live up to it then you're uncool and if you um you know say no this is
(30:26) not the way I want it to be then they'll it's not ragging it's not bullying but almost cornering. >> So you have to live up to those standards and stuff like that. So I feel like the surviving skills that I have today came from them because I truly believe that and this is some uh it is a conversation that I have with my girlfriends from back in school that we have survived through that hostile means we can survive the world and genuinely even till today in the industry I don't do anything different I was doing the
(30:58) same I I am doing the same thing that I was doing in the hostel back then you know there were like bunch of people talking about you and then for some reason you're like but why are they talking about me like what have I even done today >> like I just believe that what happens in school in school level surviving in a hostel is survive fight or flight it's in that >> the world is like that there are a bunch of 5-year-old kids >> yeah but then you're also protected >> in this hostile environment like atmosphere now you're playing the same
(31:32) uh character same in the industry, >> right? >> It's pretty much the same thing. It's not complicated. We all over complicate our own things. >> So, yeah, grew up like that. Uh even my plus one and plus two I sort of uh was in Mysaw. I was away from my parents and uh [clears throat] degree also.
(31:56) Uh the first year in Ramaya, I was studying in Bangalore. uh first year was in the hostel and after the first year I started working. So because of the uneven timelines the night shoots yo a my parents got me a flat to which they also moved and uh 2 three years I was in Bangalore and I shifted to Hyderabad. >> So this has been my life journey.
(32:18) >> Yeah. Um any industry close group of it becomes a popularity contest and popularity contest are very similar to what high school middle school tend to be. M >> gossiping there is politicality somewhere [clears throat] >> but it's a very interesting thing you learned and picked that up in the hostel and it's still survival at the top level huh do you remember what you learned >> see also because um my parents now >> they sort of built what they have today when I was in the hostel which means we didn't have what we had today back then
(32:57) >> which means Means like I was also one girl who studied one two years in Tamil Nadu where I didn't know English. I wasn't exposed to a lot of English where I came to this hostel in coup and suddenly someone asked me something in English and I've I've gone mum >> I didn't know so I was terrible I couldn't communicate in English.
(33:23) uh I wasn't like my exposure was Tamil and I don't know I think Tamil only because I was around Tamil people right um so coming to this already my first step into the school was not very great because she she doesn't know how to speak English you know how stupid is this like she's not far with us >> so it started like that and >> you've gone to the school in fourth grade until 10th grade I was here So people already have that mindset, right? And no matter how much you learn and no matter how much you speak in English, people already have that you're lesser
(33:57) than us kind of mind space. >> So then I realized that okay that is my survival instinct where I just smile through things. I'm just like okay fine. All the seniors whatever they say it's right. All the juniors they won't talk because why would they talk? And these senior boys will be like okay can you go and give this love letter to my girlfriend from this class this class? this this so you're like a mediator and if you get caught you you get caught they don't get caught because I'm also someone who doesn't give away
(34:26) >> I'll I'll be like okay it's mine I'm that kind of person I've always been that so now after this you come into the industry and then like people are like oh she has a different accent >> or she has she's not a good actor or something like this happens now you're like this I've been dealing with since age old So this is nothing new.
(34:50) >> I'm not very See, it makes you feel bad when someone says like you work day in day out for a film and if someone says your performance is not good, then it hurts you. It stings you a little, but it's not like heartbreaking where I'm like, "Oh maybe I'm not made for this." So then you learn to, okay, this is what they're saying, but I'm going to do my best and I'm going to entrust all my time and effort to the director, right? I mean that's what I'm saying.
(35:18) Not very many things change when you grow up. It's just maybe something that you're dealing with in school just becomes larger scale. But the how you approach two things can be as simple as that. >> Okay. Not everyone is going to like you. Deal with it. No. Like not everyone is going to like you.
(35:38) But are you earning well for yourself? Are you happy with your family, friends, and your partner? Good enough. What more do you want? Yeah, that's a really steep bargain to have happiness and something I've come to learn as I've grown up. I mean, sure, things could be better, but things are great. Things are beautiful. I'm so grateful.
(35:59) Like, somebody's looking after it. It just cannot be, you know, like me. I can't be controlling this ship. So much randomness. And family, if your parents are happy, if you have a loving partner, dude, that's that's that's a lot. >> That's a blessing. >> Yeah. But I'm assuming you guys are ambitious with your work.
(36:16) You don't get here without being ambitious, >> right? What is like >> what's the ambition? >> Like when do you think >> the goalpost keeps changing? No. >> Yeah. Should it be one thing? >> I don't know. It's >> I want to understand like what is it? When do you think you've done enough? And do you ever wonder about that? Is that even a question in your head? >> Me? >> I don't think about doing enough.
(36:41) I feel like you have one life. I got like 80 good years in me. I need to do something with it. If Uh so I think it's just like for some reason with the world got created in a way I don't even know how that we as a species came and now we this 80 years is there just do something with it be productive push whatever you I think purpose is beautiful if you wake up
(37:26) >> feeling looking forward to something >> it's good enough it could be planting something and watching it grow or it could be wanting to become a unicorn. Uh but if you're able to do something that makes you happy the your family happy and can contribute in some way to because we are a social we're a social animal we are a society as a structure.
(37:56) uh our actions can affect other people. If you can do things to benefit others also is like a beautiful thing. But primary purposes at least your wife and h family and parents and kids if you can make happy that's a super successful >> life right now >> life in itself. >> You feel the same? I feel like I fully 100% agree with what he says.
(38:27) I feel like we're all here to we have this particular phase that you're bought into this world. You're alive and you move on from this world. >> Your only choice is what do I do till then? >> Yeah. Yeah. You're coming. You need to do something till the time you need to go. >> Right? So in these years what do you want to do? Some choose happiness.
(38:56) Some choose like I want to achieve so many things. Some choose I I just want to be married and just bus. Some choose farming. Some choose agriculture. It depends on what they want to do. But in the end of the day like he says, we need food to eat. We need roof over our um >> over our head. Yeah.
(39:17) And we need clothes to wear which is we should be able to buy what we like which is 100% we're all here to do that. >> All of us get dealt different cards and there's lot of >> I know there's a lot we are talking from comfortable lives. I'm an actor. You're doing 26 episodes a month podcasting. Very comfortable. >> Yeah. Very comfortable.
(39:39) [laughter] >> But there's lots of struggle and lots of hardship in in lots of people's life. They just they they got the wrong hand. >> Yeah. >> Uh but still to have some purpose like even those people have purpose. They want to see their kids get educated. >> Like our parents lot of our parents were were like that.
(40:07) Like my uh my parents' sole purpose in life was give these two boys a good education. If they get a job and get a salary and if they can build us a house, the only thing that would tell us all our houses all my life from my grandmother to my parents, everybody needs their own house. >> Yeah. >> Once if you have that enough, that was just the goal for life they gave us.
(40:36) It's not easy to to do that somehow life very very kind >> to the life I live now it's two different completely different kinds of lives but also life presented me the opportunity I also attacked it aggressively because uh yeah because of who I am and how I think or whatever but we should consider that lots of people get dealt really hard hands and um but for them it's just about having that purpose and doing it and it's like a great fulfillment.
(41:15) It's just move that one step >> uh further. We we've got this life. It's beautiful experience and I think hardships everything need to you need to uh I like hard like life gets really hard sometimes but you need to love hard. I'm like give it to me hard. Uh hero resistance resistance breaks. Every hero that you see on screen, every
(42:01) book you read from from Ramayan to Odyssey to Bahubali are like guys who faced resistance on every level from their own family. They've dealt they've been dealt the hardest things and they've beaten that thing and come out on top. So you need to look at this her obstacle hero journey part. M it's like do you enjoy games that are easy easy? Yeah.
(42:38) No, >> you want complicated You want to beat that and then you're like then you get that dopamine that >> did it. >> So life [clears throat] as a game >> play beat win. >> Yeah. What did you learn from your mom and dad? >> My mom and dad um they actually worked for where they are today with all of the willpower and the um [clears throat] ambitious ambition that they had basically came from nothing.
(43:18) But now they have security in terms of money and land and all of that and they've worked for it. And my dad used to like like very similar to Vijay's parents where they needed he needed me to be wellstudied so that >> any well educated so that any form that you read >> any form that you sign you need to be able to read it and understand it.
(43:49) >> He came from that. He was like, "You need to know what you're putting your signatures on." He came from that and my mom came from the space of you need to earn so that you're very independent, right? Which a lot of women don't get to do, don't have an option. this even if they want to work and even if they want to like earn for themselves they have resistance from family members or society or what you know things like this but I had a support from my mother where she was like work work hard earn save these were her things and which I
(44:32) do even till today I'm like I'm also now thinking okay after 20 years when you know I won't be able to do the same work that I'm doing today. I need the money that I saved today to take care of me and my kids in the future and their grandkids. I'm thinking in that way. So I think these things I have learned from my parents.
(44:55) Um because al also our parents struggled to where they are today and luckily I got this support from them to >> dream big and sort of you know actually work for what I dreamt >> not a not [clears throat] even 10% of the people don't get to do this you know very few get to do this so I really am grateful for that really respect that and yeah yeah today we're all >> [laughter] >> Um, when you were talking about the game partst, that's my dad's first lesson to me.
(45:33) I can etch it somewhere. And loving hard is a great way of saying it because when hard hits that morning when you wake up and it's stuff's just bad, man, there are two ways that day can go and it totally depends on your attitude, right? >> You need to be a little bit crazy to be like, give me more hard, >> right? Yeah.
(45:51) >> Um, is there something specific you remember that your parents taught you? >> My mom is all love >> for her. Uh, nothing else matters. uh like she's the kind of mom who imagine you have an exam. There'll be mothers who will be like study wake up and you have a tuution at 4:00 a.m. imagine or a special class.
(46:24) She'll be like sleep. It'll rain outside [laughter] you sleep. True. >> And my dad is like you don't screw them [laughter] you'll screw their lives. But my mom is always like she wants us to be slept wellfed. She wants us to be happy. Uh that's her view of life. She's just all >> today if I have to tell her that I have to go for shoot like >> stay at home. Wow.
(46:50) >> She like why are you working so hard at the same time she is really emotional and appreciative that >> all your hard work has changed our lives. But then she doesn't want us to work. She wants us to be happy and home and she she feels sad that you work hard kind of. So my mom's like that. Uh I uh my dad's been uh like for the major chunk of my once I came back to Hyderabad every day I would wake up and uh my dad would be sitting in the hall and I had to sit with him and he would give me a 2 three hour lesson on life just every day this was a
(47:34) thing. >> Did you enjoy it then? I didn't enjoy it initially and every day felt like oh okay I know what's coming and I would tell my friends my friends would like where are you what I would like dad's taking a class and they all knew that he's gone for 2 three hours and he would just talk like about he had a lot of angst in life he saw a lot of struggle he was seeing a lot of struggle and he didn't want me to go through that and he didn't know how what else how else uh to to take this out and to make sure I didn't go through it. And
(48:08) he was somebody who believed in. He was like you can uh learn in life like you can put your finger in fire and learn that it burns or you can watch someone putting their finger learn it burns and don't go near it. He was like the second thing is easier. >> So he was like learn as much as you can without having to firsthand experience it because it's an edge.
(48:28) So he would tell me read as many books because all these people have experience in life. Read as much learn from it. So you don't have to do the whole journey of physically experiencing each thing and learning from it. So it would be like learn that was one thing he would say and somehow both my my dad would constantly tell me that you're meant for something big.
(48:51) I have no clue what I wanted to do. who was one aimless kid like everyone else just watching cricket playing cricket doing aimless stuff for a lot of life but somehow constantly hearing that you're meant for something big you're meant for something so I believe words parenting what you say to the kids is forming things in their head and I began to believe that I'm here for a purpose and I have I have to do something big also I think he believed it specifically because a lot of things happen in life like us being born is a miracle.
(49:32) >> Mhm. >> If we talk about it just the whole biological process of one sperm hitting an egg from millions on a particular day of the month. It could be anybody but you were born out of millions. It's it's one biological miracle that any one of us is even born. And then like how my dad met my mother uh how their wedding happened is like a very almost like a supernatural bunch of events that led to it.
(50:13) So my dad somehow believed that it was very strange like it was not his decision nor my mother's decision. A whole bunch of things were parallelly. They were from two villages nearby. A whole sequence of events were happening in his village which pushed him to being married. A whole sequence of events were happening in my mother's life where they were desperate to get her married and she was returning from somewhere in a bus and my father was coming going to his village and at some point both got onto the same bus and my father was like
(50:49) he really needed to take the decision quickly. He was like, "If I have to marry, uh, there's this girl I saw in that bus. Find out." And because my mom's parents were really desperate because of a whole bunch of strange incidents, which is like a which is like a story in itself, they were like, "Okay, let's do it.
(51:06) " >> Uh, if any like multiple things had to happen for this. He was like even if one of them didn't happen, we wouldn't be married and you wouldn't be born, >> right? >> Uh, and so he would constantly believe that. He would tell us when we were kids that either you or your younger brother is born here for a purpose.
(51:21) I don't know who >> uh live up to it kind of thing. So I think hearing that just subconsciously puts a responsibility onto you that I need to do something also. You don't want to live that life man like >> uh life with no money is no fun. It's hard really hard. >> So I I was like I really want to change it. I will either change it drastically or pack my bags and disappear.
(51:49) I don't live in this social structure in this life. I'll I'll deal with it. I'll just vanish kind of space I was in and uh things happened. Yeah. But we lived with a lot of confidence. That's something I had from you. Never felt growing up. I never felt the hard life. I knew that I was never getting the cricket bat that I wanted >> or I didn't have a cycle for many years when all my friends had and had to ride theirs or we didn't have a TV for very long.
(52:22) But there was so much love and we were always entertained >> uh with that old bat. We were playing cricket for hours. My dad would play with me and my brother and you didn't you don't think so much >> as long as you're engaged and you have love and you can sleep on your dad's arms and hug him and >> your mom is and grandmother are pampering you.
(52:43) You don't think of all these things. You always >> they brought you up. Yeah. You're happy and they brought you up with confidence. My dad would always talk big things >> even though if you had nothing like I'll build a house in Jubilee Hills which is really big. >> Yeah. My mom would be like save money and buy a land here.
(52:58) It's the it's really cheap right now in some from the city 50 60 km >> and I now live there my house is there so they talk like all these things he would always talk he would talk big his delusion passed on to me [laughter] >> that's the thing like [clears throat] words have power and parenting is so important that no matter what you are going no matter what your mother and father is conversing about, the child is taking it.
(53:33) >> Yeah, they're listening to everything. >> They're listening to everything >> and it's shaping them. >> And the thing is you I feel like he genuinely got his confidence from his dad and mom and like I just sometimes sit and think about we are both actors. We're doing the same films and you know working in the same industries but his way of thinking and my way of thinking are very different and I more so often keep thinking why do I think like this where is it coming from and then it goes back into >> childhood my
(54:11) >> childhood it's like >> you know back then this had happened and that's why hence it's engraved in my brain >> to think a certain way >> and I'm very proud of the woman I am today. But a lot of things that I have to work on is rooted from back then. So it's so incredibly important how you parent a child. It's insane.
(54:34) It's >> even the content videos. Everything is shaping who you become. I don't like to watch films about losers or read watch series about >> uh psycho killers and losers and all. I like >> uh >> heroic stuff. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like I like documentaries of sports people. >> Dude, I love that stuff. >> Yeah. Michael Jordan documentary.
(55:04) >> Yeah. I'm like, why do I watch this sad victory something? I'm giving this much time and it's all like if you see horror films, I remember watching a horror film like when I was in my 10th or 11th. >> You watched? >> Yeah. uh in 11th I some Korean CDs >> ring kucha >> I couldn't sleep for like months alone like it would scare I hate horror I remember I remember >> till now I then I was like why do I have to watch horror put it in my head scare myself where it's affecting me it's shaping it's affecting everything that I
(55:44) consume is like shaping something in you so cut so useful cut. Yeah. Tell me about the project. Um [laughter] that is why this is a podcast. My job is to get you lost in your stories and then be like, "Oh, by the way, film promotion." [laughter] >> Tell me about the movie. I mean, this is an awesome set.
(56:12) Uh I've been here a couple of hours. Um I can talk about it, but I'm a useless idiot when it comes to talking about things I don't belong in. [laughter] You tell me. Tell me about how did you decide to do it? What do you like about it? Whatever you can say because you know I don't want to pry. >> See I was uh this film came to me.
(56:30) I was listening to a podcast called Empire which was suggested by someone. >> It's a history podcast. a history podcast on on how the English traders East India Company came and became an empire that settled down in India and >> and everything the whole journey of how that happened and I was so mindb blown by it. I was so affected by the information and my own history and I was like and I didn't know any of it and it's a beautiful podcast.
(57:00) I recommend everyone to watch it. But by the time I was done with it, I was feeling a sense of anger. I was I was wanting revenge in a way. Even though it this is something that happened 150 200 years, but over 200 years being ruled and what all happened to our country. I was I was seeking revenge. And like a couple of months later, Rahul, my director Rahul Sankritan comes to me with the story about an episode of the Madras famine.
(57:31) Uh it's a film set from in the village he's from. And he's from a region called Ry Seima uh in Andhra Pradesh and they're like really rough people uh there. They're hardcore. Uh a lot of politicians come from there and they have a history of uh being uh you don't mess with them essentially. [laughter] They're little on the edge violence kind of guys.
(57:57) [laughter] So he wrote a story set in in 1876 in Rayala where the British want to come and lay tracks. First for me knowing about the Madras famine, I just on the podcast heard about the Bengal famine and it disturbed me and then he was telling me about Madras famine. I was like one more and when I went into reading about it, looking at the images from these famines, looking at the whole story of why the Indian railways was built.
(58:25) We were all told that the railways was built by the British but no one told us why it was built uh and on whose backs it was built and at what cost it was built. And I'm like, we all I know about Hitler and I know what happened to the Jews. I know I have visuals and uh I feel sympathy for them. I don't know my own story.
(58:50) And uh so I was excited that this is a story. This is knowing our history is really important. I believe for anybody knowing their story, [snorts] I was telling somebody that it's scary to be a 60-year-old and not remember your 20s and 30s and 40s. Like imagine >> you don't remember that whole episode. It's like a scary thing and it's also scary because you cannot tell your kids like my dad passed on so much knowledge to me from his life.
(59:19) [snorts] He will pass it on to his grandkids as well. So if you do not know your history, how do you ensure it doesn't happen again? And >> and setting history right is really important because history in a way is propaganda. It's a narrative >> of who did what and this and it's going like 200 years back history we're reading now we are going to read it 300 years later we at least need to correct it now so that the next generations know what actually happened what we survived what we did and I think it's important to tell this at school that's one layer
(59:50) educating them at school but cinema is is a great medium to to correct the buried history and to correct narratives that were said so that's one part that really >> resonates >> resonated with me to be able to do this and of course the the world that is set in the characters like Rya characters in itself are very interesting uh because of the kind of people they are uh and the culture they come from and how this culture has kept us together through all kinds of dark chapters and highs and lows in our history.
(1:00:34) >> So when said through all these mediums, it was packaged really nicely and it felt like >> a responsibility to do it and it also felt exciting for me to take it on. So I was like I'm we should do this. I should do this. I would like it in my film filmography. It's a film that I would really like on my filmography.
(1:00:55) >> Mhm. >> What did How did you come across the movie? What did you think? >> So I remember that uh Rahul had mentioned uh spoken about this film to Vijay and he came home and he spoke about this film to me. Uh and when he spoke about the Medas famine the thing is see I was never good at history in school.
(1:01:22) Okay, marks getting marks for me for history was a huge because the dates and the names are really hard >> and for me I don't remember what happens yesterday. So for me back in school also I wouldn't remember anything. >> Uh I would mug up mug up mug up and forget just before writing it right >> but I knew about this Madras famine. I knew about the Bengal famine but when you get into the story of it no saying okay uh British were putting railway for us convincing us saying we're bringing food to help you know people of famine or people who are affected but railways
(1:02:05) also could be taking food away from the affected. >> Right. >> Right. It's it there's two ways to it and then what they told us to what they actually did are two different sides of the coin. So hence when you get into reading about all of this no you start understanding that this has happened to your family like your greatgrandfathers and the >> you know our ancestors it's happened to them and today >> like example in India okay we'll take up all the present today I just used to keep wondering that dude I work out so
(1:02:45) much I'm on my diet but I feel like If I look at food, I'm, you know, going to put on weight. The sad reality is that our DNA rem remembers what happened to our ancestors. So, our bodies have learned to sort of >> survive, right? So, right now it's in a fight orflight state where it's like, okay, the famine might come, so we need to be prepared.
(1:03:14) So any little thing that you eat or you breathe or anything it's saving your body from the calamities that might come. So these are the things right. So when you learn a lot more about your history you know okay this is why it's happen all the things that's happening in the present is happening. Now the only thing is you need to learn history so that in the future you can protect yourself and protect your people and just can be prepared for what's to come if at all it's going to come.
(1:03:46) >> So I feel like it's important like that. I just feel like it's an important >> thing to speak about these things in our history so that you understand a little more as to why what's happening and what might happen. >> Yeah. Actually, that's a fantastic setup for like any asking you anything more is going to probably reveal too much.
(1:04:08) Um, but guys, I should say thank you so much for being so real and so playful throughout this. It's been a blast. If you're ever in Delhi and you need somebody to hang out, just putting it out there. I've had so much fun. Um, thank you. If you have any questions for me, if you have something to say to the audience, the mics are all yours.
(1:04:30) >> Have a good life. I wish you well. May the God's blessings be with all of you. >> Likewise. >> Yeah, likewise. No pressure. >> I hope I hope uh yeah, be happy. Be >> sukraush. [laughter] >> I'm glad for you trying in Hindi. It's a good look. It's a good look. >> No, thank you so much. I've had so much fun. Thank you so much. too.
(1:04:55) Thank you so much for >> Yeah. Well, I'm so glad. Um, thank you. I guess >> since YouTube algorithm is suggesting you to definitely watch this one as well. You'll definitely like it or huh? Yeah. Subscribe. Thank you.
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