What my 12 year old knows about health ! - A mom-daughter talk on body, illnesses & healing.
Author Name:Stories with Maya's Amma - by Swati Jagdish
Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@mayasamma
Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34IcdzIAjk4
Title: What my 12 year old knows about health ! - A mom-daughter talk on body, illnesses & healing.
Author Name: Stories with Maya's Amma - by Swati Jagdish
Description: I’m not sure how many podcasts have extensively explored the health-related value systems and practices within a family — especially between a parent and a child. And this is something I get asked about constantly by parents.
How do we handle illnesses at home? What conversations do we have about the body? How does a child learn to understand and listen to their body? How do we talk about emotions and the ways in which emotional well-being can interact with physical well-being? What are the health-related values that we consciously or unconsciously pass on to our children?
So I wanted this episode to be a little special and have Maya join me for this conversation.
As I mention in the episode, health is deeply personal, and every family can have its own value system and approach. What works for us need not be what works for everybody else, and this conversation is not intended to replace professional medical advice. If something we discuss resonates with you, take what is useful; if it doesn’t, you can simply leave it.
Maya is also at an age now where she beautifully articulates her own thoughts, opinions and experiences, which makes these conversations with her so much more interesting. As long as she continues to enjoy doing them, I would love to bring her back for more episodes in the future.
I hope this episode brings some clarity, perspective and perhaps a few new conversations into your own homes.
And if you enjoy these conversations, please subscribe to the channel and stay active here. Your subscriptions, comments and engagement genuinely help us continue creating more episodes like this.
Regards
Swati Jagdish
Transcript:
(00:00) Today I have my super special guest once again after a long time after almost one whole year. My daughter Maya. >> Hi. >> Welcome May are you. >> I feel welcome. >> Thank [music] you. What is that something that many parents want us to talk about but they don't get to usually hear it on social media and I decided we can talk about body health diseases.
(00:26) How do we manage body related conversations [music] at home? Do you remember this real? I want to show you this real. >> My [music] h >> how did you have milk when you were a baby? >> I got breastfed. >> The next question is how do we take care of our body without becoming obsessed with how it looks? First of all, let me make it clear.
(00:47) We are not we don't talk a lot about looks at home. Drinking water, hydrating yourself. [laughter] >> That's true. >> Okay. >> Because water is good. >> Yeah. No matter how much you drink, it's fine. >> Just use the bathroom. >> Okay. No problem. [music] >> Except when I have really yummy Korean food. >> The time >> then I'll go here.
(01:14) [laughter] >> But that's okay. That's only at times. No. [music] >> Yeah. Like yesterday. [laughter] >> Yeah. We do talk about different types of [music] bodies and we talk about um three types of bodies. [music] Kafa, pitha and vata. >> Nice. >> Thank the food before eating [music] because I'm sure all the religions also have a prayer in place.
(01:37) Hindus have a prayer. Uh Christians have a prayer. Muslims say bismillah [music] before eating. So what [snorts] happens in our house when Maya gets a favor? Do we panic immediately is the first question. >> No, we don't. >> We don't. [music] >> Then what do we do? >> We find out the cause of the situation. >> Mhm. >> And try to heal it.
(01:54) >> We don't stop it in its tracks. >> Okay. [music] I also weaned out of all the meds that I was taking uh in the last four years I have not taken any touchwood touchwood touchwood touchwood any medicines for my chronic illnesses it has really [music] gone away also it's not always a virus or a bacteria that causes these problems it's also suppressed emotions that can manifest as physical [music] issues psychosomatic problems >> what is that >> that is just the adult part [laughter] >> of the discussion now that most of our
(02:22) questions are over there is a rapid fire >> oh okay Okay. >> Okay. >> Still [snorts] trying to figure out [music] the secrets to the universe. [laughter] >> It escalated suddenly from body and hell right into universe. Hello and welcome to yet another episode on stories with Maya Zama. Today I have my super special guest once again after a long time after almost one whole year my daughter Maya. Hi.
(02:55) >> Welcome. Au. >> I feel welcome. >> Thank you. So, I've been waiting to have another conversation with you. Uh after talking about emotions, boundaries and all, I was also thinking what do we talk about? What is that something that many parents want us to talk about, but they don't get to usually hear it on social media.
(03:18) And I decided we can talk about body, health, diseases. How do we manage body related conversations at home? Tada. I would like to begin the episode by just reminding all of you watching that we are a family that started talking very openly about body, body parts, private parts and all very very early from the time Maya was around one one years old one year old.
(03:48) We used to talk about body very very openly at home. That's also because I used to breastfeed her and she breastfed till till almost she turned four. So body related conversations are very very common at home. Do you remember this real? I want to show you this real >> how did you have milk when you were a baby? >> I got breastfed mama.
(04:10) >> Okay. Now this baby needs milk and you are the mama. How will you give milk? >> Here. Good job. >> So cute. Are you? >> Yeah. I just don't remember doing that. >> I [laughter] know. So this uh real we did it because we got a question from someone that their relatives kid ah their sister's kid or someone was breastfeeding their doll and they were feel uncom they were feeling uncomfortable about it.
(04:38) How to talk about it? uh they had asked and I just made this real to just ensure people that it's okay if a child is playing with their doll as though they're breastfeeding because it's the most natural thing to do, right? Yeah. You don't remember shooting all these real >> I was lesser than 5 years old. It's impossible to remember.
(04:57) >> Yeah. Okay. Fine. So, uh the first question to begin today's episode on um body is why do we talk openly about the body at home? Why do you think we are talking openly about it? >> Because >> M >> because >> because you're okay with it. That's a good answer. Because I'm okay with it. That's right.
(05:20) That's that's actually >> and because I want to. >> Okay. That's actually true because u if the parent is okay with it then obviously they will have conversations with it about it. And another reason was again because I was into lactation. We were you know I was breastfeeding actively. I had all my friends breastfeeding.
(05:37) So all of us used to talk very openly about it and I also gradually got into sex education. So these conversations became part and parcel of everyday life. It just happened. Uh but then why do we have to talk openly about it? I think only if we have open conversations we can keep kids safe. That's number one. And we can talk about diseases, health issues, pain and all of that easily.
(05:57) >> Yeah. Yeah, >> because otherwise if you get something like if you get some boils or something, you won't be afraid to say it. >> Correct. Yeah. >> Especially if it's in different parts. >> Yeah. Very true. Very true. So to feel confident and comfortable to talk safe to talk about the adult at about bodily changes or any kind of odd bodily symptoms like boils, pimples etc.
(06:27) It makes it easy to have these conversations. Very nice. Also bodily changes because child is also going through developmental changes. So those kind of conversations also become easy and comfortable if we establish that rule that we will talk about body openly. Another question that's related to body and respect is why don't we comment on people's bodies? >> Because it's rude.
(06:49) [snorts] >> Yes, it is rude. >> It is rude. >> It is rude. >> It's very rude. >> Yeah. also because people are made differently. People come in all shapes and sizes and we need to accept it and uh can be because of genetics because of hormonal imbalances because of diseases that they go through. People are very different >> or just normal >> or they're just they're just made made like that. Yeah.
(07:15) So we don't comment >> either way you're beautiful. >> A yeah. The next question is how do we take care of our body without becoming obsessed with how it looks? First of all, let me make it clear. We are not we don't talk a lot about looks at home. Yeah. We just make sure it doesn't happen. >> What will happen? No.
(07:35) No. My question is what will happen if we keep talking about looks at home? >> We'll become obsessed and insecure about our bodies. >> Yeah. True. That's true. Because if it's a family where the child is shamed for how they look or how their body have changed, body has changed because let's say they played out in the sun and then the discussion is how dark they got and they need to immediately fix it or something.
(08:02) There are families that talk that way >> but it's just the sun. >> I know there are families that talk. >> Some people want to get tanned. >> That is true. >> What kind of >> That is the irony of What kind of families are doing this? >> No, they do that. They do that. And also in my generation, Ama's generation >> like generation, >> the whole generation, mothers used to body shame daughters.
(08:25) >> That used to happen a lot. >> Maybe because they they got body shamed and they don't know how to be normal about it and they're just abnormal about it. >> That's true. Yeah. Maybe they got shamed and they're just passing it on like passing the hurt on because they don't know how to talk in a healthy way about the body.
(08:43) >> They don't know how to talk normally about it. Yeah, true. Makes sense. Now that you are drinking water in between, the next question is what does being healthy mean to Maya? Drinking water, hydrating yourself. >> That's true. >> Okay. >> Because water is good. >> Yeah. No matter how much you drink, it's fine.
(09:08) >> Just use the bathroom. [laughter] >> Okay. Now, what about other ways of being healthy? >> Eating until you're feeling full or until before you feel full. >> Because if this is your stomach, >> you have to only eat until this much, not until this much >> only. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, is that something that you follow? >> Yeah.
(09:33) Except when I have really yummy Korean food >> that time >> then I'll go here. [laughter] >> But that's okay. That's only at times. No. >> Yeah. Like yesterday. >> Yeah. Uh what about uh dealing with our emotions? That also has to do with health. No. In some way. >> Yeah, it does. [laughter] >> We'll talk about it afterwards. Okay. Do you think Amma is staying healthy? >> Yes. Yeah.
(09:59) >> Yes. >> Thank you. What kind of health behaviors have you observed? >> You sit in the sun every morning. >> Mhm. >> And you take a photo of yourself to motivate my followers. >> And you do yoga. >> Okay. Okay. Anything else that you've observed? [bell] >> Not much. >> No, because I'm either sleeping or at school when she's doing that.
(10:24) >> Okay. Yeah. So certain things I make sure is to take rest as much as possible. Especially if if I'm done with a long weekend of classes and sessions, I make sure that Monday I just rest uh during headache. >> Huh. Yeah, definitely. I don't work through illnesses these days. I used to do that earlier, but I've completely stopped that.
(10:45) So that's something I do for health. >> And you shouldn't try to stop your illnesses in its tracks. You should let it go away. >> We'll talk about it when it wants to go. We'll talk about illnesses. Yeah. >> What are the foods that make Maya feel energetic? >> Fruits. >> Okay. >> Mangoes. >> Okay. >> Mangoes. Bananas. >> Okay. Um, what foods make you feel tired and sluggish? >> Chapati.
(11:16) >> But anything with maida also usually you feel sluggish. No. After >> Yeah. Like pizza and pasta sometimes. >> Even though it's so yummy. I know. Okay, that brings me to this question that different foods affect people differently, right? We talk about it at home. >> Yes, we do. >> Especially because we are a family that follows um a lot of the Ayurveda principles, we do talk about different types of bodies and we talk about um three types of bodies.
(11:48) >> Kafa, pa and vata. >> Nice. >> Nice. I remember you know >> what do we talk about vatakafa like that >> I don't remember >> because the last time we talked it was >> a while ago. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Which means uh because all of us are either one of these body types or a combination of these body types.
(12:12) We talk about how different foods affect us differently. Certain foods that are totally not okay with me might be okay with her. >> Yeah. Like sushi. >> Yeah. So we try to stay away from certain stuff that we have realized affects us. So that's the level of vada kafa principles that we follow at home. >> Yeah. You have to eat accordingly.
(12:32) >> Accordingly. If you eat or exercise accordingly, you'll feel much better. I feel I have felt that way. Next question about eating and food is what does it mean to enjoy food instead of rushing through it? >> You don't go too slowly. Okay. >> But you also don't go too fast. M >> you go slow enough that you know what you're eating, >> but you go fast enough that the food doesn't stay in your mouth for a long time.
(12:57) >> Okay. >> So, that was a good point. I think we need to somehow get to that optimum pace of eating. Yeah. Not too fast, not too slow and enjoy the food that we eat. Look, look at that. >> Unless it's something that you really don't like, but it's healthy, so you have to eat it. [laughter] What is a food like that? Now that you told about it, I want to know.
(13:21) >> Cabbage. You You don't eat cabbage at all, right? >> No. >> What about pongal? >> Pongal is okay. But kiti >> kits. >> Okay. >> Next question. >> Onions. >> Ah, onions you don't like. And almost every preparation has onion in it. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> But I really like garlic. >> Garlic. >> Roasted garlic. M >> roasted in butter.
(13:51) [laughter] >> Okay. Do we say thank you to the food before eating? >> You can. >> You can. Okay. >> What do you choose? >> If you want to, >> okay, >> but otherwise just know cuz >> you don't usually. Not like universe will know >> that you're >> if you like it that you like it because it made you. >> M okay. >> It made your soul.
(14:22) It knows what you like. >> Okay. So what is the point? >> So >> I don't know. >> So can I elaborate on that? We don't say thank you consciously every single time but whenever we remember. I say mostly these days because I remember to say if I don't then I just start eating otherwise >> because you know because you like that food >> but you don't like that food you don't >> okay but um >> but you're just happy it came >> it is usually recommended to thank the food before eating because I'm sure all the religions also have a prayer in
(14:54) place Hindus have a prayer uh Christians have a prayer Muslims say bismillah before eating so >> but then if you're not someone who follows any kind of religious discipline you can always say thanks Thanks to the farmers, thanks to the people that cook that food. >> Yeah. At school, we have one nice prayer. >> Really? Okay.
(15:11) So, >> I can't say it. It's a bit long. >> Okay. Okay. That's nice though that you guys say that prayer. In school, we also used to say that prayer properly. >> Thanks to the hands that made the food. >> Mhm. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Something like that. >> Yeah. Something like that. >> Okay.
(15:30) Um, what is something a lot of adults don't understand about food or about the quantity of food? What have you felt like? Adults should understand this more. >> If you feel full, you should really stop. >> Because otherwise you'll feel nauseous and >> constipated. [laughter] >> Yes. Right. >> No. >> Yeah, you do. >> No, you just feel really full.
(15:51) >> Okay. Maybe body I feel like that. I feel >> you drink a lot of water. >> Okay. Okay. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, they need to understand. So which means if you if you eat a lot you really feel full >> and whoever made you eat that much the fault is on them. Fault is on them. >> So >> but actually the fault is on you for actually eating that and not standing for yourself.
(16:14) >> Oh >> yeah. Like from the last episode >> boundaries. Yeah. Correct. Which means your point is that adults shouldn't force kids to eat whatever is on their plate and >> and only eat how muchever they want. >> Okay. And be okay with that. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> You should let let the child serve their own food.
(16:38) >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> So that they know how much they want. >> Ah that's tip. Yeah. True. Now we are entering into the area of diseases, sickness, illness and those hard days. >> First question days where you have to miss your important >> uh school >> and education. >> Oh education. >> Okay. In my time I used to feel good that I can miss education.
(17:12) [laughter] Okay. question. >> Later you'll have to catch up on all of >> that is true. That is true. >> And miss your favorite >> classes. >> Yeah. >> Sorry, I never thought like that. This girl thinks like that. >> I think like that. >> Okay. What happens in our house when Maya gets a fever? Do we panic immediately is the first question.
(17:32) >> No, we don't. >> We don't. >> Then what do we do? >> We find out the cause of the situation. Mhm. >> And try to heal it. M >> we don't stop it in its tracks. >> Okay. >> We just let it go >> until it stops. >> Allow the fever to do its job. >> Yeah. Because the fever is not there to make you >> sick. It's a sign that you are healthy.
(17:56) Your body is responding to >> Yeah. Because you need to push away all of that, right? >> All of the toxins. >> So the fever makes you feel hot, right? So you usually just sweat it out. >> M. Okay. So that's what we usually do. We don't panic. But then >> even stomach aches are good in that sense. >> Yeah. It is pushing out the toxin.
(18:13) >> Stomach aches are good in that sense. In that sense. >> In that sense. >> In this sense. No. >> Yeah. So Amma would like to elaborate a bit because there are parents listening. No. So what we used to do was when Maya was really young uh one two and all I was very concerned like any other parent when the child gets a fever, cough, cold etc. I was so concerned.
(18:35) I didn't know what to do. Especially because she never used to take paristamone. She always used to spit it out. Yeah. >> So I could never give it to her. That's what happened. And I think we have spoken about it in another podcast with God Priya when we spoke about our earlier parenting mistakes and issues and all. We have spoken about it also.
(18:52) >> I'm getting a vision of me >> having that parasite woman and spitting it out in the wash basin. >> Okay. >> When I was four. >> Okay. I'm going to continue this. >> Go ahead. >> So yeah. So um I remember speaking about it during that episode that it was how I learned that you could heal without that paristimol too because my child never used to take it.
(19:18) So I had to witness her healing without it. So that gave me a it was very revelatory to me because I never re it was revelatory to me because I never thought one could heal without a medicine because I was someone who constantly took medicines for my chronic health conditions during that time and slowly and steadily Maya was teaching me that she could heal without medicines.
(19:39) It's just that I had to wait it out. I had to just breastfeed her throughout her uh her illness and then in two three days in less than 3 days she used to be fine. Sometimes she used to make me popsicles, healthy popsicles. >> Yeah. Yeah. I used to do whatever was possible other than give the medicine because you never used to take it.
(19:59) >> Yeah. >> But in that it >> Yeah. Because in that journey I learned that I could also probably heal without the medications that I was taking and that's exactly what happened in my life. I also weaned out of all the meds that I was taking. uh in the last four years I have not taken any touchwood touchwood touchwood touchwood any medicines for my chronic illnesses it has really gone away so it was just a personal experience guys basically what we do is why is raising your hand to talk >> people call you a college student
(20:33) >> because you look so young thanks for that sudden appreciation M [laughter] okay I'm [snorts] getting back to the topic because it's a very sensitive topic for a lot of parents. I personally think it's not about medicating or non-medicating but it's about closely watching the child and responding according to the child's illness and the cues that the child is giving.
(21:03) Let's say the child is doing well then you as a mother you are observing the child right you can always take a decision to visit a care provider but then you can always choose to allow the fever to do its job also so that to thankfully during that time we also had a wonderful pediatrician who used to ask us to allow mild fevers to come and go.
(21:23) So that was also very helpful because as a mother what we need more than the medication more than anything is that reassurance that things are fine that we can just wait it out. So that also used to happen in my life and over a period of time we just became this family that didn't need that medication and again I'm not against medications because you hurt somewhere and then you take a painkiller that kind of thing happens not that it doesn't happen but in Maya's case especially she is not okay with any of the bitter even if it's tasty she
(21:53) doesn't like she doesn't take >> nothing is tasty >> yeah so we usually what we do is we we just we hydrate a lot we take a lot of water lot of >> exactly what I did just um huge gulp >> ki rice porridge we take rasam that's >> rasum and >> rice and gh rasam and kany is good >> kanya and rasam is good yeah these are usually we have that and then fruits and fruit juices if possible >> most definitely in the summer >> yeah so that's what we usually do so it's mostly just rest a lot of observation about what's going on
(22:29) nowadays we don't need that because Maya is turning 12. So we are kind of very clear about what happens when we are sick. We know that we need to wait it out. She takes a lot of rest. She sleeps well during that time and then next day she >> take a leave from school. >> Yeah. Yeah. So it's basically Amma decides.
(22:47) Amma decides what happens. But Maya is also very aware of what she's going through. So she also tells me I'm getting better or I'll take some more time or I feel like this. I feel nauseous. I I want to lie down. I'm going to take rest. So, she also gives me a lot of feedback which helps me >> and I'm hungry.
(23:05) >> Yeah. All of that happens. Yeah. So, we are not against medication or anything. It's just that we have grown to a point where we have never needed them that much and we have used other techniques and ways around it. Tricks and >> grandma wisdom and >> what's that? >> Like some natural concoction.
(23:28) Grandma's wisdom. >> Grandma's wisdom. >> Grandma, Grandma at home has given Tulsi water and all. No. >> Grandma's wisdom. >> Ah, we have used that wisdom. [laughter] Okay. Um, yeah. So, we try to understand what the body needs before jumping in jumping into >> conclusions. >> Conclusions or quick solutions. We don't do anything quick to suppress the symptoms.
(23:56) We we see these things as symptoms. Yeah. We allow it to do its job also. Yes. That brings us to the next part or I think the last part which is emotions and the body. We have done an episode on emotions and boundaries. Yeah, emotions. You've done an episode but uh there are certain questions related to illnesses and emotions.
(24:20) For example, we always talk about the relationship between expressing emotions, how important it is and the relationship that it has with us getting sick also. What have you observed >> in what I was listening? >> Okay. Are you mindfully aware now? Are you here? Are you present? >> Yeah. Okay. >> Can I ask a question? >> Jinx.
(24:45) >> Can I ask a question? Yeah. >> Okay. Why is expressing emotions important and what is the relationship that it has with illnesses? What what happens if we keep emotions inside without expressing it? What do we talk about that especially >> when I when I want to say something >> but then I don't say it and I do that for a long time I get a bit of a throat pain >> maybe a sore throat or something.
(25:15) Um yeah, >> you have experienced that. >> Yeah. >> Because I keep on asking you about what have you not said out aloud or what have you not shared or what boundary have you not expressed. You're also aware of certain things that you do which impacts the body. Right? So this is the thing guys we talk a lot about the mind body connect at home.
(25:36) Okay? Because as a psychologist I see people adults who come with issues in their body because of issues that happen to the mind or >> emotions no boundaries. >> Yeah. Because of emotions that they were suppressing because of having no boundaries because of people pleasing because of all these things it it gets suppressed.
(25:57) Those emotions get suppressed. Guilt or grief or failure or betrayal or shame or any of these things it gets suppressed inside the body. And when I see these people as adults coming with so many problems and when I teach them how to deal with those issues, those physical symptoms disappear. We have seen that happening.
(26:13) So because I'm a person that constantly observes this and because it has also happened in my life, I just am trying to make sure Maya does not go through that. She is in touch with her body and then in touch with her emotions >> in >> with her emotions so that she's able to see the connect between emotions and illnesses also.
(26:33) It's not always a virus or a bacteria that causes these problems. It's also suppressed emotions that can manifest as physical issues, psychosomatic problems. >> What is that? >> That is just the adult part of the discussion. Psychosomatic >> psychos psycho. >> Okay. Next question. Speaking of emotions, I know we have discussed this earlier in our emotions episode, but I'm just asking this again because it's very very important.
(27:06) Does Maya find it easy to cry when she's upset? Have there been times when Maya felt better after expressing what she was feeling? >> So, for the first one, what was the first find it easy to cry when she's upset? >> Sometimes. >> Sometimes. >> Sometimes. Yes. Sometimes now >> okay what happens when you don't find it comfortable to express yourself which is mostly at school or at another place right >> at home you're comfortable right >> in those situations >> I'll find a place where it's quiet >> no one will suspect where I went
(27:49) >> and let it out >> okay that >> sometimes I'll just wait until I go home then >> but that's not a great option >> yeah but it has happened several several times. So what has happened is I'll tell you I'll tell people [snorts] or I'll tell you. [laughter] So uh let's say you are at a friend's place >> or somebody else's house and then you had to keep something inside and not share it outside or you went through some kind of stressful situation there >> and then you kept it inside.
(28:20) M >> after we get back home even if it's 8:00 p.m. 9:00 p.m. When I'm seeing you a bit cranky, I ask you to please cry it out, May, >> so that it doesn't become late. In the middle of the night, I'm sleeping and [laughter] >> Yeah. So to avoid it from becoming a full-blown tantrum, I ask her, >> I I see it boiling inside.
(28:44) >> Slowly start letting it out so that it doesn't be like >> at 11 p.m. [laughter] when sudden tantrum shouldn't come up. No. If I'm seeing it build up and boil inside her, I ask her to somehow share and talk. And once she starts sharing, it'll come out. It'll come out and then she'll cry and then there'll be a tantrum for some time. Uh but it'll be a good release.
(29:05) A good release. And then we are done. We are happy. We go back to bed. >> A little early. >> Yeah. >> A little early. >> A little early. >> But most of the time it's not that early when we go to sleep. >> Yeah. cuz I want you to I want you to go to bed at 8 8:30 which never happens. >> 9:30 10 would be better. >> Okay.
(29:32) Um does Amma usually tell you when she's angry or sad? >> Yeah, >> mostly. Yes. >> Mostly yes. But sometimes when it doesn't >> Sometimes when it doesn't happen, I'll be able to see it. Tears swelling up in the eyes. I'm just starting to shake. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. These days I have also started. [laughter] >> These days I have also started using the word disregulated.
(30:00) Am I feeling a little disregulated Mayu? Not now. May. Not now. I'm feeling very disregulated. I'll talk to you later. Yeah. I use that word also. >> Then I feel sad that I'm not able to say what I wanted to say. >> Yeah. >> Then I'll go and curve up and talk about it. >> Yeah. >> Then I'll have to repeat it one more time for you. Okay, now that most of our questions are over, there is a rapid fire.
(30:22) >> Oh, okay. >> This is my >> Okay. >> Okay. What is Mahaya's favorite healthy food? >> Mangoes. >> Mhm. >> Bananas. Venda. >> I showed egg. Oh, >> venda. >> Venda. Yeah, you >> egg is very yummy. >> Especially when it's in bul you get something to dip it in. >> Very yummy. M. >> What is your favorite junk food? >> Unsalted, unflavored crackers >> with chocolate spread on it.
(30:57) >> H. Okay. But pizza, pasta, everything comes under that list. No. >> Yeah. >> Like ramen. >> Okay. Ramen has some healthy elements in it. So, I think it's okay. >> Yeah. Because egg. >> Mhm. Um, one food Amma loves that Maya does not like. Kit >> like cabbage. >> Ah, definitely. >> One food Maya loves that Amma does not.
(31:30) >> Yeah. Such an irony. >> So healthy. >> Yeah. >> I eat most of the time they'll make one full bowl just for me to eat. >> Yeah. If your body could talk, what would it tell you today? >> Today? Thank you for eating so healthy. >> What's one thing parents should start doing more about body conversations? >> Having body conversations, >> being open to say everything.
(32:05) H pina what do we say when the body is heal when the body is sick >> we don't say we don't say the body is sick that just makes it more sick we say the body is healing >> because it is healing that makes it healed >> so subconsciously it helps the body a lot when you use the right words when you're >> don't say don't use negative words like no or not >> body doesn't understand it >> version >> yeah so Use good words, positive words as much as possible so that the body thinks it's healing and it's not sick.
(32:39) >> So it not like >> I am not going to be sick today. I will be healthy tomorrow. >> M like that. Very nice. True. And also there is something else that Amma keeps telling you. Listen to your body. What is your body telling you? So you get a better answer. You you become more connected with your gut feelings and your intuition and all and you'll be able to get the answer from inside itself.
(33:03) Do you want to really go there? Not go there, wear this, not wear this? >> Are you sure this will happen? >> H body will tell >> are you sure you need to go? Are you sure you need to dress up for this event? >> Yeah. Yeah. So these are some conversations we h we talk about and then of course talking about how the body is changing because during u prepubent and pubicent years children uh need a lot of assurance that what is happening to their body is normal and that is exactly what it has to go through.
(33:33) So an adult assuring them that this is how it is supposed to be. It's okay. You know, you're developing at the right pace. These kind of conversations are also very important. Am I good? >> Definitely. Most definitely. >> Definitely not. Not definitely. So [snorts] >> no one would understand that. >> What is something you know now that you didn't know at age seven? >> I knew everything.
(34:02) I know everything >> but maybe maybe certain boundaries just got better and >> yeah um okay this question what is the best advice Amma has given you any anything that you remember anything that you can think of >> you just now said listen >> listen to your body yeah I keep saying that yeah correct >> and about taking rest also I keep saying no take rest take rest >> take rest and And sometimes I don't listen.
(34:32) >> M which is exactly what children should be doing? Rebel their parents and then have an opinion of their own. Have a mind of their own. So that's important >> at this age. >> Yeah. Um what's something you're still trying to figure out? >> H >> how to skate? >> No, I'm I'm good at that. Self >> thought. I'm still trying to figure out the secrets to the universe.
(35:08) [laughter] Escalated suddenly from body and health right into universe. Okay, fine. That's good. Um, can you tell me one word that describes health? >> Health. >> Eating right. Resting. >> Two words. >> Resting. >> Resting. Okay. >> Resting. Good. Sleeping. >> That's one word. >> Rest, sleep. >> That's two words.
(35:35) [laughter] >> One word. One word that describes happiness. Joy. Something else. Happiness. [laughter] >> Being happy. There's no other word. The description for the word is the word. >> Okay. H us me >> family >> me >> me >> family >> me >> travel >> me >> travel is good >> travel is good now >> sometimes it's not that great >> especially when you go have to go to those those >> tofu >> tofu >> tofu can mean happiness know anytime we
(36:18) see tofu we have a smile on our face >> sometimes when he bites me I don't have a smile on my >> [laughter] >> It's more like a >> tofu is a cat by the way for people who don't know. >> Yeah. >> Last question. [laughter] One thing that you're grateful about in your body about your body. [laughter] >> About your body? >> Health.
(36:55) >> Okay, that's nice. >> Towards the last, we haven't had many questions that didn't involve laughing. >> Okay. But thank you. >> Being unserious. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Faster. [laughter] Okay. So, so yes, yet another episode. Beautiful answers from >> laughing answers. >> Yeah.
(37:25) Happy answers from Maya who's going to be 12. Last episode we shot when Maya was >> 11. >> 10. >> Last year. >> You simply did it in June, right? >> Uh-huh. >> 10. >> 10. Okay. So, now Maya's going to be 12 in July. So, I'm able to say very different. My my time does fly. >> M anyway, so thank you so much for all your answers and your time and I'm really grateful that you agreed to do this episode with me.
(37:58) Um these are just some of the conversations that we have about body health, illness, etc. at uh in our home >> regular basis >> on a regular basis in our home. And like I told you, it's a mindful approach that we take. There is no black and white approach. Uh we keep observing the body for symptoms and then we make a decision with regard to health and illness.
(38:21) Similarly with food, we take decisions based on the body type of the person and what they're going through currently. Uh we try to eat light uh most of the time. We try to schedule junk food or heavy food for um once in a while like how most families do guys. But again I think it's a having conversations part that we do really well on a regular basis and that is something that I suggest and recommend all of you do.
(38:50) U you'll be able to have a lot of comfort with your child or teenager about talking about anything under the sun. Yeah. So thank you once again my >> What if it's not under the sun? >> What is not under the sun? >> Talking about anything under the sun. What if you're >> above the sun? Okay. So, [laughter] it's going into another direction.
(39:15) So, I'll have Maya in in another episode sometime later when she agrees once upon a time. Until then, uh I'm sending a lot of healing and happiness your way, a lot of abundance your way and a lot of health your way >> and money [laughter] and money and abundance. So, thank you so much for watching. Please subscribe to the channel so that I can be motivated to make more such wonderful episodes for all of you. Thank you. Bye.
(39:43) >> And even otherwise, you'll be motivated. >> What? >> Even otherwise, you'll be motivated. >> Even otherwise, I'm motivated. >> Yeah, you're very motivated. >> Yeah, even if you guys don't subscribe, I'm motivated, it seems. >> But please subscribe. [laughter] >> Okay, thank you for that. Thank [music] you guys. Bye.
(39:58) >> Bye. >> [music]
Author Name:Stories with Maya's Amma - by Swati Jagdish
Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@mayasamma
Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34IcdzIAjk4
Title: What my 12 year old knows about health ! - A mom-daughter talk on body, illnesses & healing.
Author Name: Stories with Maya's Amma - by Swati Jagdish
Description: I’m not sure how many podcasts have extensively explored the health-related value systems and practices within a family — especially between a parent and a child. And this is something I get asked about constantly by parents.
How do we handle illnesses at home? What conversations do we have about the body? How does a child learn to understand and listen to their body? How do we talk about emotions and the ways in which emotional well-being can interact with physical well-being? What are the health-related values that we consciously or unconsciously pass on to our children?
So I wanted this episode to be a little special and have Maya join me for this conversation.
As I mention in the episode, health is deeply personal, and every family can have its own value system and approach. What works for us need not be what works for everybody else, and this conversation is not intended to replace professional medical advice. If something we discuss resonates with you, take what is useful; if it doesn’t, you can simply leave it.
Maya is also at an age now where she beautifully articulates her own thoughts, opinions and experiences, which makes these conversations with her so much more interesting. As long as she continues to enjoy doing them, I would love to bring her back for more episodes in the future.
I hope this episode brings some clarity, perspective and perhaps a few new conversations into your own homes.
And if you enjoy these conversations, please subscribe to the channel and stay active here. Your subscriptions, comments and engagement genuinely help us continue creating more episodes like this.
Regards
Swati Jagdish
Transcript:
(00:00) Today I have my super special guest once again after a long time after almost one whole year. My daughter Maya. >> Hi. >> Welcome May are you. >> I feel welcome. >> Thank [music] you. What is that something that many parents want us to talk about but they don't get to usually hear it on social media and I decided we can talk about body health diseases.
(00:26) How do we manage body related conversations [music] at home? Do you remember this real? I want to show you this real. >> My [music] h >> how did you have milk when you were a baby? >> I got breastfed. >> The next question is how do we take care of our body without becoming obsessed with how it looks? First of all, let me make it clear.
(00:47) We are not we don't talk a lot about looks at home. Drinking water, hydrating yourself. [laughter] >> That's true. >> Okay. >> Because water is good. >> Yeah. No matter how much you drink, it's fine. >> Just use the bathroom. >> Okay. No problem. [music] >> Except when I have really yummy Korean food. >> The time >> then I'll go here.
(01:14) [laughter] >> But that's okay. That's only at times. No. [music] >> Yeah. Like yesterday. [laughter] >> Yeah. We do talk about different types of [music] bodies and we talk about um three types of bodies. [music] Kafa, pitha and vata. >> Nice. >> Thank the food before eating [music] because I'm sure all the religions also have a prayer in place.
(01:37) Hindus have a prayer. Uh Christians have a prayer. Muslims say bismillah [music] before eating. So what [snorts] happens in our house when Maya gets a favor? Do we panic immediately is the first question. >> No, we don't. >> We don't. [music] >> Then what do we do? >> We find out the cause of the situation. >> Mhm. >> And try to heal it.
(01:54) >> We don't stop it in its tracks. >> Okay. [music] I also weaned out of all the meds that I was taking uh in the last four years I have not taken any touchwood touchwood touchwood touchwood any medicines for my chronic illnesses it has really [music] gone away also it's not always a virus or a bacteria that causes these problems it's also suppressed emotions that can manifest as physical [music] issues psychosomatic problems >> what is that >> that is just the adult part [laughter] >> of the discussion now that most of our
(02:22) questions are over there is a rapid fire >> oh okay Okay. >> Okay. >> Still [snorts] trying to figure out [music] the secrets to the universe. [laughter] >> It escalated suddenly from body and hell right into universe. Hello and welcome to yet another episode on stories with Maya Zama. Today I have my super special guest once again after a long time after almost one whole year my daughter Maya. Hi.
(02:55) >> Welcome. Au. >> I feel welcome. >> Thank you. So, I've been waiting to have another conversation with you. Uh after talking about emotions, boundaries and all, I was also thinking what do we talk about? What is that something that many parents want us to talk about, but they don't get to usually hear it on social media.
(03:18) And I decided we can talk about body, health, diseases. How do we manage body related conversations at home? Tada. I would like to begin the episode by just reminding all of you watching that we are a family that started talking very openly about body, body parts, private parts and all very very early from the time Maya was around one one years old one year old.
(03:48) We used to talk about body very very openly at home. That's also because I used to breastfeed her and she breastfed till till almost she turned four. So body related conversations are very very common at home. Do you remember this real? I want to show you this real >> how did you have milk when you were a baby? >> I got breastfed mama.
(04:10) >> Okay. Now this baby needs milk and you are the mama. How will you give milk? >> Here. Good job. >> So cute. Are you? >> Yeah. I just don't remember doing that. >> I [laughter] know. So this uh real we did it because we got a question from someone that their relatives kid ah their sister's kid or someone was breastfeeding their doll and they were feel uncom they were feeling uncomfortable about it.
(04:38) How to talk about it? uh they had asked and I just made this real to just ensure people that it's okay if a child is playing with their doll as though they're breastfeeding because it's the most natural thing to do, right? Yeah. You don't remember shooting all these real >> I was lesser than 5 years old. It's impossible to remember.
(04:57) >> Yeah. Okay. Fine. So, uh the first question to begin today's episode on um body is why do we talk openly about the body at home? Why do you think we are talking openly about it? >> Because >> M >> because >> because you're okay with it. That's a good answer. Because I'm okay with it. That's right.
(05:20) That's that's actually >> and because I want to. >> Okay. That's actually true because u if the parent is okay with it then obviously they will have conversations with it about it. And another reason was again because I was into lactation. We were you know I was breastfeeding actively. I had all my friends breastfeeding.
(05:37) So all of us used to talk very openly about it and I also gradually got into sex education. So these conversations became part and parcel of everyday life. It just happened. Uh but then why do we have to talk openly about it? I think only if we have open conversations we can keep kids safe. That's number one. And we can talk about diseases, health issues, pain and all of that easily.
(05:57) >> Yeah. Yeah, >> because otherwise if you get something like if you get some boils or something, you won't be afraid to say it. >> Correct. Yeah. >> Especially if it's in different parts. >> Yeah. Very true. Very true. So to feel confident and comfortable to talk safe to talk about the adult at about bodily changes or any kind of odd bodily symptoms like boils, pimples etc.
(06:27) It makes it easy to have these conversations. Very nice. Also bodily changes because child is also going through developmental changes. So those kind of conversations also become easy and comfortable if we establish that rule that we will talk about body openly. Another question that's related to body and respect is why don't we comment on people's bodies? >> Because it's rude.
(06:49) [snorts] >> Yes, it is rude. >> It is rude. >> It is rude. >> It's very rude. >> Yeah. also because people are made differently. People come in all shapes and sizes and we need to accept it and uh can be because of genetics because of hormonal imbalances because of diseases that they go through. People are very different >> or just normal >> or they're just they're just made made like that. Yeah.
(07:15) So we don't comment >> either way you're beautiful. >> A yeah. The next question is how do we take care of our body without becoming obsessed with how it looks? First of all, let me make it clear. We are not we don't talk a lot about looks at home. Yeah. We just make sure it doesn't happen. >> What will happen? No.
(07:35) No. My question is what will happen if we keep talking about looks at home? >> We'll become obsessed and insecure about our bodies. >> Yeah. True. That's true. Because if it's a family where the child is shamed for how they look or how their body have changed, body has changed because let's say they played out in the sun and then the discussion is how dark they got and they need to immediately fix it or something.
(08:02) There are families that talk that way >> but it's just the sun. >> I know there are families that talk. >> Some people want to get tanned. >> That is true. >> What kind of >> That is the irony of What kind of families are doing this? >> No, they do that. They do that. And also in my generation, Ama's generation >> like generation, >> the whole generation, mothers used to body shame daughters.
(08:25) >> That used to happen a lot. >> Maybe because they they got body shamed and they don't know how to be normal about it and they're just abnormal about it. >> That's true. Yeah. Maybe they got shamed and they're just passing it on like passing the hurt on because they don't know how to talk in a healthy way about the body.
(08:43) >> They don't know how to talk normally about it. Yeah, true. Makes sense. Now that you are drinking water in between, the next question is what does being healthy mean to Maya? Drinking water, hydrating yourself. >> That's true. >> Okay. >> Because water is good. >> Yeah. No matter how much you drink, it's fine.
(09:08) >> Just use the bathroom. [laughter] >> Okay. Now, what about other ways of being healthy? >> Eating until you're feeling full or until before you feel full. >> Because if this is your stomach, >> you have to only eat until this much, not until this much >> only. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, is that something that you follow? >> Yeah.
(09:33) Except when I have really yummy Korean food >> that time >> then I'll go here. [laughter] >> But that's okay. That's only at times. No. >> Yeah. Like yesterday. >> Yeah. Uh what about uh dealing with our emotions? That also has to do with health. No. In some way. >> Yeah, it does. [laughter] >> We'll talk about it afterwards. Okay. Do you think Amma is staying healthy? >> Yes. Yeah.
(09:59) >> Yes. >> Thank you. What kind of health behaviors have you observed? >> You sit in the sun every morning. >> Mhm. >> And you take a photo of yourself to motivate my followers. >> And you do yoga. >> Okay. Okay. Anything else that you've observed? [bell] >> Not much. >> No, because I'm either sleeping or at school when she's doing that.
(10:24) >> Okay. Yeah. So certain things I make sure is to take rest as much as possible. Especially if if I'm done with a long weekend of classes and sessions, I make sure that Monday I just rest uh during headache. >> Huh. Yeah, definitely. I don't work through illnesses these days. I used to do that earlier, but I've completely stopped that.
(10:45) So that's something I do for health. >> And you shouldn't try to stop your illnesses in its tracks. You should let it go away. >> We'll talk about it when it wants to go. We'll talk about illnesses. Yeah. >> What are the foods that make Maya feel energetic? >> Fruits. >> Okay. >> Mangoes. >> Okay. >> Mangoes. Bananas. >> Okay. Um, what foods make you feel tired and sluggish? >> Chapati.
(11:16) >> But anything with maida also usually you feel sluggish. No. After >> Yeah. Like pizza and pasta sometimes. >> Even though it's so yummy. I know. Okay, that brings me to this question that different foods affect people differently, right? We talk about it at home. >> Yes, we do. >> Especially because we are a family that follows um a lot of the Ayurveda principles, we do talk about different types of bodies and we talk about um three types of bodies.
(11:48) >> Kafa, pa and vata. >> Nice. >> Nice. I remember you know >> what do we talk about vatakafa like that >> I don't remember >> because the last time we talked it was >> a while ago. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Which means uh because all of us are either one of these body types or a combination of these body types.
(12:12) We talk about how different foods affect us differently. Certain foods that are totally not okay with me might be okay with her. >> Yeah. Like sushi. >> Yeah. So we try to stay away from certain stuff that we have realized affects us. So that's the level of vada kafa principles that we follow at home. >> Yeah. You have to eat accordingly.
(12:32) >> Accordingly. If you eat or exercise accordingly, you'll feel much better. I feel I have felt that way. Next question about eating and food is what does it mean to enjoy food instead of rushing through it? >> You don't go too slowly. Okay. >> But you also don't go too fast. M >> you go slow enough that you know what you're eating, >> but you go fast enough that the food doesn't stay in your mouth for a long time.
(12:57) >> Okay. >> So, that was a good point. I think we need to somehow get to that optimum pace of eating. Yeah. Not too fast, not too slow and enjoy the food that we eat. Look, look at that. >> Unless it's something that you really don't like, but it's healthy, so you have to eat it. [laughter] What is a food like that? Now that you told about it, I want to know.
(13:21) >> Cabbage. You You don't eat cabbage at all, right? >> No. >> What about pongal? >> Pongal is okay. But kiti >> kits. >> Okay. >> Next question. >> Onions. >> Ah, onions you don't like. And almost every preparation has onion in it. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> But I really like garlic. >> Garlic. >> Roasted garlic. M >> roasted in butter.
(13:51) [laughter] >> Okay. Do we say thank you to the food before eating? >> You can. >> You can. Okay. >> What do you choose? >> If you want to, >> okay, >> but otherwise just know cuz >> you don't usually. Not like universe will know >> that you're >> if you like it that you like it because it made you. >> M okay. >> It made your soul.
(14:22) It knows what you like. >> Okay. So what is the point? >> So >> I don't know. >> So can I elaborate on that? We don't say thank you consciously every single time but whenever we remember. I say mostly these days because I remember to say if I don't then I just start eating otherwise >> because you know because you like that food >> but you don't like that food you don't >> okay but um >> but you're just happy it came >> it is usually recommended to thank the food before eating because I'm sure all the religions also have a prayer in
(14:54) place Hindus have a prayer uh Christians have a prayer Muslims say bismillah before eating so >> but then if you're not someone who follows any kind of religious discipline you can always say thanks Thanks to the farmers, thanks to the people that cook that food. >> Yeah. At school, we have one nice prayer. >> Really? Okay.
(15:11) So, >> I can't say it. It's a bit long. >> Okay. Okay. That's nice though that you guys say that prayer. In school, we also used to say that prayer properly. >> Thanks to the hands that made the food. >> Mhm. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Something like that. >> Yeah. Something like that. >> Okay.
(15:30) Um, what is something a lot of adults don't understand about food or about the quantity of food? What have you felt like? Adults should understand this more. >> If you feel full, you should really stop. >> Because otherwise you'll feel nauseous and >> constipated. [laughter] >> Yes. Right. >> No. >> Yeah, you do. >> No, you just feel really full.
(15:51) >> Okay. Maybe body I feel like that. I feel >> you drink a lot of water. >> Okay. Okay. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, they need to understand. So which means if you if you eat a lot you really feel full >> and whoever made you eat that much the fault is on them. Fault is on them. >> So >> but actually the fault is on you for actually eating that and not standing for yourself.
(16:14) >> Oh >> yeah. Like from the last episode >> boundaries. Yeah. Correct. Which means your point is that adults shouldn't force kids to eat whatever is on their plate and >> and only eat how muchever they want. >> Okay. And be okay with that. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> You should let let the child serve their own food.
(16:38) >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> So that they know how much they want. >> Ah that's tip. Yeah. True. Now we are entering into the area of diseases, sickness, illness and those hard days. >> First question days where you have to miss your important >> uh school >> and education. >> Oh education. >> Okay. In my time I used to feel good that I can miss education.
(17:12) [laughter] Okay. question. >> Later you'll have to catch up on all of >> that is true. That is true. >> And miss your favorite >> classes. >> Yeah. >> Sorry, I never thought like that. This girl thinks like that. >> I think like that. >> Okay. What happens in our house when Maya gets a fever? Do we panic immediately is the first question.
(17:32) >> No, we don't. >> We don't. >> Then what do we do? >> We find out the cause of the situation. Mhm. >> And try to heal it. M >> we don't stop it in its tracks. >> Okay. >> We just let it go >> until it stops. >> Allow the fever to do its job. >> Yeah. Because the fever is not there to make you >> sick. It's a sign that you are healthy.
(17:56) Your body is responding to >> Yeah. Because you need to push away all of that, right? >> All of the toxins. >> So the fever makes you feel hot, right? So you usually just sweat it out. >> M. Okay. So that's what we usually do. We don't panic. But then >> even stomach aches are good in that sense. >> Yeah. It is pushing out the toxin.
(18:13) >> Stomach aches are good in that sense. In that sense. >> In that sense. >> In this sense. No. >> Yeah. So Amma would like to elaborate a bit because there are parents listening. No. So what we used to do was when Maya was really young uh one two and all I was very concerned like any other parent when the child gets a fever, cough, cold etc. I was so concerned.
(18:35) I didn't know what to do. Especially because she never used to take paristamone. She always used to spit it out. Yeah. >> So I could never give it to her. That's what happened. And I think we have spoken about it in another podcast with God Priya when we spoke about our earlier parenting mistakes and issues and all. We have spoken about it also.
(18:52) >> I'm getting a vision of me >> having that parasite woman and spitting it out in the wash basin. >> Okay. >> When I was four. >> Okay. I'm going to continue this. >> Go ahead. >> So yeah. So um I remember speaking about it during that episode that it was how I learned that you could heal without that paristimol too because my child never used to take it.
(19:18) So I had to witness her healing without it. So that gave me a it was very revelatory to me because I never re it was revelatory to me because I never thought one could heal without a medicine because I was someone who constantly took medicines for my chronic health conditions during that time and slowly and steadily Maya was teaching me that she could heal without medicines.
(19:39) It's just that I had to wait it out. I had to just breastfeed her throughout her uh her illness and then in two three days in less than 3 days she used to be fine. Sometimes she used to make me popsicles, healthy popsicles. >> Yeah. Yeah. I used to do whatever was possible other than give the medicine because you never used to take it.
(19:59) >> Yeah. >> But in that it >> Yeah. Because in that journey I learned that I could also probably heal without the medications that I was taking and that's exactly what happened in my life. I also weaned out of all the meds that I was taking. uh in the last four years I have not taken any touchwood touchwood touchwood touchwood any medicines for my chronic illnesses it has really gone away so it was just a personal experience guys basically what we do is why is raising your hand to talk >> people call you a college student
(20:33) >> because you look so young thanks for that sudden appreciation M [laughter] okay I'm [snorts] getting back to the topic because it's a very sensitive topic for a lot of parents. I personally think it's not about medicating or non-medicating but it's about closely watching the child and responding according to the child's illness and the cues that the child is giving.
(21:03) Let's say the child is doing well then you as a mother you are observing the child right you can always take a decision to visit a care provider but then you can always choose to allow the fever to do its job also so that to thankfully during that time we also had a wonderful pediatrician who used to ask us to allow mild fevers to come and go.
(21:23) So that was also very helpful because as a mother what we need more than the medication more than anything is that reassurance that things are fine that we can just wait it out. So that also used to happen in my life and over a period of time we just became this family that didn't need that medication and again I'm not against medications because you hurt somewhere and then you take a painkiller that kind of thing happens not that it doesn't happen but in Maya's case especially she is not okay with any of the bitter even if it's tasty she
(21:53) doesn't like she doesn't take >> nothing is tasty >> yeah so we usually what we do is we we just we hydrate a lot we take a lot of water lot of >> exactly what I did just um huge gulp >> ki rice porridge we take rasam that's >> rasum and >> rice and gh rasam and kany is good >> kanya and rasam is good yeah these are usually we have that and then fruits and fruit juices if possible >> most definitely in the summer >> yeah so that's what we usually do so it's mostly just rest a lot of observation about what's going on
(22:29) nowadays we don't need that because Maya is turning 12. So we are kind of very clear about what happens when we are sick. We know that we need to wait it out. She takes a lot of rest. She sleeps well during that time and then next day she >> take a leave from school. >> Yeah. Yeah. So it's basically Amma decides.
(22:47) Amma decides what happens. But Maya is also very aware of what she's going through. So she also tells me I'm getting better or I'll take some more time or I feel like this. I feel nauseous. I I want to lie down. I'm going to take rest. So, she also gives me a lot of feedback which helps me >> and I'm hungry.
(23:05) >> Yeah. All of that happens. Yeah. So, we are not against medication or anything. It's just that we have grown to a point where we have never needed them that much and we have used other techniques and ways around it. Tricks and >> grandma wisdom and >> what's that? >> Like some natural concoction.
(23:28) Grandma's wisdom. >> Grandma's wisdom. >> Grandma, Grandma at home has given Tulsi water and all. No. >> Grandma's wisdom. >> Ah, we have used that wisdom. [laughter] Okay. Um, yeah. So, we try to understand what the body needs before jumping in jumping into >> conclusions. >> Conclusions or quick solutions. We don't do anything quick to suppress the symptoms.
(23:56) We we see these things as symptoms. Yeah. We allow it to do its job also. Yes. That brings us to the next part or I think the last part which is emotions and the body. We have done an episode on emotions and boundaries. Yeah, emotions. You've done an episode but uh there are certain questions related to illnesses and emotions.
(24:20) For example, we always talk about the relationship between expressing emotions, how important it is and the relationship that it has with us getting sick also. What have you observed >> in what I was listening? >> Okay. Are you mindfully aware now? Are you here? Are you present? >> Yeah. Okay. >> Can I ask a question? >> Jinx.
(24:45) >> Can I ask a question? Yeah. >> Okay. Why is expressing emotions important and what is the relationship that it has with illnesses? What what happens if we keep emotions inside without expressing it? What do we talk about that especially >> when I when I want to say something >> but then I don't say it and I do that for a long time I get a bit of a throat pain >> maybe a sore throat or something.
(25:15) Um yeah, >> you have experienced that. >> Yeah. >> Because I keep on asking you about what have you not said out aloud or what have you not shared or what boundary have you not expressed. You're also aware of certain things that you do which impacts the body. Right? So this is the thing guys we talk a lot about the mind body connect at home.
(25:36) Okay? Because as a psychologist I see people adults who come with issues in their body because of issues that happen to the mind or >> emotions no boundaries. >> Yeah. Because of emotions that they were suppressing because of having no boundaries because of people pleasing because of all these things it it gets suppressed.
(25:57) Those emotions get suppressed. Guilt or grief or failure or betrayal or shame or any of these things it gets suppressed inside the body. And when I see these people as adults coming with so many problems and when I teach them how to deal with those issues, those physical symptoms disappear. We have seen that happening.
(26:13) So because I'm a person that constantly observes this and because it has also happened in my life, I just am trying to make sure Maya does not go through that. She is in touch with her body and then in touch with her emotions >> in >> with her emotions so that she's able to see the connect between emotions and illnesses also.
(26:33) It's not always a virus or a bacteria that causes these problems. It's also suppressed emotions that can manifest as physical issues, psychosomatic problems. >> What is that? >> That is just the adult part of the discussion. Psychosomatic >> psychos psycho. >> Okay. Next question. Speaking of emotions, I know we have discussed this earlier in our emotions episode, but I'm just asking this again because it's very very important.
(27:06) Does Maya find it easy to cry when she's upset? Have there been times when Maya felt better after expressing what she was feeling? >> So, for the first one, what was the first find it easy to cry when she's upset? >> Sometimes. >> Sometimes. >> Sometimes. Yes. Sometimes now >> okay what happens when you don't find it comfortable to express yourself which is mostly at school or at another place right >> at home you're comfortable right >> in those situations >> I'll find a place where it's quiet >> no one will suspect where I went
(27:49) >> and let it out >> okay that >> sometimes I'll just wait until I go home then >> but that's not a great option >> yeah but it has happened several several times. So what has happened is I'll tell you I'll tell people [snorts] or I'll tell you. [laughter] So uh let's say you are at a friend's place >> or somebody else's house and then you had to keep something inside and not share it outside or you went through some kind of stressful situation there >> and then you kept it inside.
(28:20) M >> after we get back home even if it's 8:00 p.m. 9:00 p.m. When I'm seeing you a bit cranky, I ask you to please cry it out, May, >> so that it doesn't become late. In the middle of the night, I'm sleeping and [laughter] >> Yeah. So to avoid it from becoming a full-blown tantrum, I ask her, >> I I see it boiling inside.
(28:44) >> Slowly start letting it out so that it doesn't be like >> at 11 p.m. [laughter] when sudden tantrum shouldn't come up. No. If I'm seeing it build up and boil inside her, I ask her to somehow share and talk. And once she starts sharing, it'll come out. It'll come out and then she'll cry and then there'll be a tantrum for some time. Uh but it'll be a good release.
(29:05) A good release. And then we are done. We are happy. We go back to bed. >> A little early. >> Yeah. >> A little early. >> A little early. >> But most of the time it's not that early when we go to sleep. >> Yeah. cuz I want you to I want you to go to bed at 8 8:30 which never happens. >> 9:30 10 would be better. >> Okay.
(29:32) Um does Amma usually tell you when she's angry or sad? >> Yeah, >> mostly. Yes. >> Mostly yes. But sometimes when it doesn't >> Sometimes when it doesn't happen, I'll be able to see it. Tears swelling up in the eyes. I'm just starting to shake. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. These days I have also started. [laughter] >> These days I have also started using the word disregulated.
(30:00) Am I feeling a little disregulated Mayu? Not now. May. Not now. I'm feeling very disregulated. I'll talk to you later. Yeah. I use that word also. >> Then I feel sad that I'm not able to say what I wanted to say. >> Yeah. >> Then I'll go and curve up and talk about it. >> Yeah. >> Then I'll have to repeat it one more time for you. Okay, now that most of our questions are over, there is a rapid fire.
(30:22) >> Oh, okay. >> This is my >> Okay. >> Okay. What is Mahaya's favorite healthy food? >> Mangoes. >> Mhm. >> Bananas. Venda. >> I showed egg. Oh, >> venda. >> Venda. Yeah, you >> egg is very yummy. >> Especially when it's in bul you get something to dip it in. >> Very yummy. M. >> What is your favorite junk food? >> Unsalted, unflavored crackers >> with chocolate spread on it.
(30:57) >> H. Okay. But pizza, pasta, everything comes under that list. No. >> Yeah. >> Like ramen. >> Okay. Ramen has some healthy elements in it. So, I think it's okay. >> Yeah. Because egg. >> Mhm. Um, one food Amma loves that Maya does not like. Kit >> like cabbage. >> Ah, definitely. >> One food Maya loves that Amma does not.
(31:30) >> Yeah. Such an irony. >> So healthy. >> Yeah. >> I eat most of the time they'll make one full bowl just for me to eat. >> Yeah. If your body could talk, what would it tell you today? >> Today? Thank you for eating so healthy. >> What's one thing parents should start doing more about body conversations? >> Having body conversations, >> being open to say everything.
(32:05) H pina what do we say when the body is heal when the body is sick >> we don't say we don't say the body is sick that just makes it more sick we say the body is healing >> because it is healing that makes it healed >> so subconsciously it helps the body a lot when you use the right words when you're >> don't say don't use negative words like no or not >> body doesn't understand it >> version >> yeah so Use good words, positive words as much as possible so that the body thinks it's healing and it's not sick.
(32:39) >> So it not like >> I am not going to be sick today. I will be healthy tomorrow. >> M like that. Very nice. True. And also there is something else that Amma keeps telling you. Listen to your body. What is your body telling you? So you get a better answer. You you become more connected with your gut feelings and your intuition and all and you'll be able to get the answer from inside itself.
(33:03) Do you want to really go there? Not go there, wear this, not wear this? >> Are you sure this will happen? >> H body will tell >> are you sure you need to go? Are you sure you need to dress up for this event? >> Yeah. Yeah. So these are some conversations we h we talk about and then of course talking about how the body is changing because during u prepubent and pubicent years children uh need a lot of assurance that what is happening to their body is normal and that is exactly what it has to go through.
(33:33) So an adult assuring them that this is how it is supposed to be. It's okay. You know, you're developing at the right pace. These kind of conversations are also very important. Am I good? >> Definitely. Most definitely. >> Definitely not. Not definitely. So [snorts] >> no one would understand that. >> What is something you know now that you didn't know at age seven? >> I knew everything.
(34:02) I know everything >> but maybe maybe certain boundaries just got better and >> yeah um okay this question what is the best advice Amma has given you any anything that you remember anything that you can think of >> you just now said listen >> listen to your body yeah I keep saying that yeah correct >> and about taking rest also I keep saying no take rest take rest >> take rest and And sometimes I don't listen.
(34:32) >> M which is exactly what children should be doing? Rebel their parents and then have an opinion of their own. Have a mind of their own. So that's important >> at this age. >> Yeah. Um what's something you're still trying to figure out? >> H >> how to skate? >> No, I'm I'm good at that. Self >> thought. I'm still trying to figure out the secrets to the universe.
(35:08) [laughter] Escalated suddenly from body and health right into universe. Okay, fine. That's good. Um, can you tell me one word that describes health? >> Health. >> Eating right. Resting. >> Two words. >> Resting. >> Resting. Okay. >> Resting. Good. Sleeping. >> That's one word. >> Rest, sleep. >> That's two words.
(35:35) [laughter] >> One word. One word that describes happiness. Joy. Something else. Happiness. [laughter] >> Being happy. There's no other word. The description for the word is the word. >> Okay. H us me >> family >> me >> me >> family >> me >> travel >> me >> travel is good >> travel is good now >> sometimes it's not that great >> especially when you go have to go to those those >> tofu >> tofu >> tofu can mean happiness know anytime we
(36:18) see tofu we have a smile on our face >> sometimes when he bites me I don't have a smile on my >> [laughter] >> It's more like a >> tofu is a cat by the way for people who don't know. >> Yeah. >> Last question. [laughter] One thing that you're grateful about in your body about your body. [laughter] >> About your body? >> Health.
(36:55) >> Okay, that's nice. >> Towards the last, we haven't had many questions that didn't involve laughing. >> Okay. But thank you. >> Being unserious. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Faster. [laughter] Okay. So, so yes, yet another episode. Beautiful answers from >> laughing answers. >> Yeah.
(37:25) Happy answers from Maya who's going to be 12. Last episode we shot when Maya was >> 11. >> 10. >> Last year. >> You simply did it in June, right? >> Uh-huh. >> 10. >> 10. Okay. So, now Maya's going to be 12 in July. So, I'm able to say very different. My my time does fly. >> M anyway, so thank you so much for all your answers and your time and I'm really grateful that you agreed to do this episode with me.
(37:58) Um these are just some of the conversations that we have about body health, illness, etc. at uh in our home >> regular basis >> on a regular basis in our home. And like I told you, it's a mindful approach that we take. There is no black and white approach. Uh we keep observing the body for symptoms and then we make a decision with regard to health and illness.
(38:21) Similarly with food, we take decisions based on the body type of the person and what they're going through currently. Uh we try to eat light uh most of the time. We try to schedule junk food or heavy food for um once in a while like how most families do guys. But again I think it's a having conversations part that we do really well on a regular basis and that is something that I suggest and recommend all of you do.
(38:50) U you'll be able to have a lot of comfort with your child or teenager about talking about anything under the sun. Yeah. So thank you once again my >> What if it's not under the sun? >> What is not under the sun? >> Talking about anything under the sun. What if you're >> above the sun? Okay. So, [laughter] it's going into another direction.
(39:15) So, I'll have Maya in in another episode sometime later when she agrees once upon a time. Until then, uh I'm sending a lot of healing and happiness your way, a lot of abundance your way and a lot of health your way >> and money [laughter] and money and abundance. So, thank you so much for watching. Please subscribe to the channel so that I can be motivated to make more such wonderful episodes for all of you. Thank you. Bye.
(39:43) >> And even otherwise, you'll be motivated. >> What? >> Even otherwise, you'll be motivated. >> Even otherwise, I'm motivated. >> Yeah, you're very motivated. >> Yeah, even if you guys don't subscribe, I'm motivated, it seems. >> But please subscribe. [laughter] >> Okay, thank you for that. Thank [music] you guys. Bye.
(39:58) >> Bye. >> [music]
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