Why Are Indian Women Always Expected to Adjust? ft. Capt. (Dr) Sunaina Singh

Why Are Indian Women Always Expected to Adjust? ft. Capt. (Dr) Sunaina Singh

Author Name:Something Bigger Show by Rodrigo Canelas

Youtube Channel Url:https://www.youtube.com/@somethingbigger

Youtube Video URL:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUOoiTU9vY8





Title: Why Are Indian Women Always Expected to Adjust? ft. Capt. (Dr) Sunaina Singh

Author Name: Something Bigger Show by Rodrigo Canelas

Description: What happens when a woman spends years building her own identity, only to suddenly be known as someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or the person who is expected to adjust?

In this episode of Something Bigger, Rodrigo Canelas sits with Capt. (Dr.) Sunaina Singh, a former Indian Army officer, psychologist, professor, sports psychologist and mother, for a deeply personal conversation about identity, motherhood, career, responsibility, ego and what it really means to choose your own life.

Sunaina was the first woman from her village in Belarkha, Haryana to join the Indian Army. She served for 10 years, played handball at the national level, earned a PhD in Psychology and an MBA in HR, and later returned to teaching at Delhi University.

But her most difficult battles were not necessarily on the field or in uniform.

She opens up about the identity crisis she experienced after leaving the Army, becoming a wife and later becoming a mother. At one point, she says, “Captain Sunaina was someone’s wife.” After growing up with an identity built around her own achievements, that transition forced her to ask a difficult question: Who am I when my old identity is gone?

The conversation also challenges the way we think about women and the word “compromise.” Sunaina believes that constantly thinking about what we have compromised can drain our energy, while taking responsibility can give us energy and meaning.

From the Indian Army, she learned another powerful lesson: there is no “I”, only “we.” The Army taught her to put ego aside, adapt to difficult situations, accept responsibility and understand that both victories and failures belong to the team.

This conversation is especially for women who have ever felt caught between career and family, ambition and motherhood, independence and responsibility. But it also goes beyond women. It is ultimately about how we make decisions, deal with our ego, adapt to life and take responsibility for the choices we make.

In this episode:

00:00 – When being a woman becomes about adjusting
03:35 – Why gender should never decide your competence
03:46 – Why Sunaina joined the Indian Army
09:08 – Courage, moral responsibility and the lessons of the Army
09:31 – How the Army works on your ego
10:01 – Why the Army replaces “I” with “We”
12:01 – Entering the Army with confidence and a big ego
25:35 – Making difficult life decisions
26:03 – The identity crisis after leaving the Army
26:10 – “Captain Sunaina was someone’s wife”
26:17 – What happens when you lose the identity you built
31:24 – Finding her identity again
42:47 – The unseen life of Army wives and mothers
43:15 – Adaptability, motherhood and life as an Army wife
47:09 – Why motherhood was not a compromise for her
47:44 – What the Armed Forces taught her about responsibility
48:54 – Why everything we do should come from responsibility
49:14 – Stop calling every difficult choice a compromise
51:34 – Responsibility, family, country and starting with the basics
52:22 – How your daily choices shape your life
54:46 – Why human connection and emotions matter
55:41 – “How do you stay happy?”
01:00:45 – Why human feelings matter in education
01:05:38 – Why today’s generation is overwhelmed with information
01:05:47 – The generation that is losing emotional connection
01:08:15 – Growing up without letting gender define you

About Capt. (Dr.) Sunaina Singh

Capt. (Dr.) Sunaina Singh is a former Indian Army officer with 10 years of service. She is a PhD in Psychology, MBA in HR, national-level handball player, Delhi University professor, sports psychologist, motivational speaker and SSB mentor.

Her journey from a village in Haryana to the Indian Army, motherhood and academia offers a powerful perspective on women empowerment, Indian women, career and family, motherhood, identity, leadership, discipline, ego and personal growth.

If you have ever wondered “Why am I always expected to adjust?”, “Can I be a mother without losing myself?”, or “How do I make the right decision for my life?”, this conversation is for you.

Watch the full episode and tell us in the comments: Where in your life have you confused responsibility with compromise?

Subscribe to Something Bigger Show by Rodrigo Canelas for more conversations on life, purpose, spirituality, identity, courage and personal transformation.

#IndianArmy #IndianWomen #WomenEmpowerment #Motherhood #WomenInArmy #WomenAndCareer

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Transcript:
(00:00) My dad always told me you have two eyes, you have two hands, you have two legs. [laughter] So does a boy have that day if he would have told me sunana you can't go alone you can't do this I would not have been the same sunana >> they crush your ego daily because the entire problem in our lives comes with the ego in forge it's always be if we have achieved something it's we >> so beautiful >> if we have done something wrong it's we so all of the sudden captains was someone's wife did Did I take the right decision? I would have continued in army
(00:37) if he had to go. And he told Visulana you please go back home beta. >> Oh >> when we start using the term compromises in our life that actually drains our energy when you start using the terms responsibility it gives you the energy. >> When was the first time someone telling you because you are a girl you can't do something? If you have this feeling that you are compromising so much for others that you don't know even who you are or what you want or even if you are a parent and you want to connect more with your kids and
(01:22) raise better kids or you just want to connect more with yourself and live more fully. This episode will hit you like anything. I had an incredible conversation with Captains Sunina. She had an incredible journey from a village going to the army [music] and now she's a teacher. But what I enjoy the most, of course, she has an incredible wisdom, but her grit, her energy, and how she connects with other people, it's mind-blowing.
(01:57) I think you will love this conversation. But before we start, I have just a small favor. If you can subscribe, it will help you much more than you think. Now, enjoy this wonderful conversation. When was the the the first time that you heard someone telling you that um because you are a girl, you can't do something. >> Exactly. Okay.
(02:26) Um when I was I told once someone because my childhood dream was to become a pilot in Indian Air Force. It wasn't army it was flying and there was one of my relative only. So when I was they asked me because when you are young people come and ask you what do you want to become in your life? So I told them key I want to become a pilot.
(02:52) [snorts] And more than their words I still remember their expressions. [gasps] So oh [laughter] you know the girls don't go and they don't join. But I told them I have seen one. I saw one of my cousin's friend. She was a air force pilot at that time. Oh >> and she inspired me at that time. Me I have seen one di if she can do it I can also do it.
(03:28) So sometimes those pe you need some people in your life who inspires you. So that was the moment first time somebody told me like >> and how did it feel? >> It really felt very bad. So when it comes to the gender now it really feels bad and for any time because I think everything should be based on the competence. >> Why did you join the army? >> Because I wanted to serve the nation.
(03:50) I wanted to do something different. I wanted to work for the people of the country. Because my grandfather told me at that time that it's not only you will be working for you will be working for the country. And if in India you want to work for the country, the first organization comes to your mind is armed forces. That is why I joined forge.
(04:11) >> And how does it feel like to to to serve the the the country? Tell me. >> I still remember the first day uh my passing out parade 6 months of training. You don't realize also you just enter the academy and you know you just blink [laughter] a eye. And then oh today is my pop. So that fast it is the training is so well structured standardized.
(04:43) They train you not only physically the more is your mental training in academy. >> They crush your ego daily because I think the entire problem in our lives comes with the ego. >> What I think it when you don't have ego I think half of the things are very simple. Then you start working on things and that's how they train you >> for your training period.
(05:07) So the day you get those stars on your shoulders at that day automatically your country comes first. >> Really? >> Yes. At that time it was no that she's sunana or this or this leftenant sunana and all of the sudden you start feeling so responsible for everything you do in your life. >> Everything you do or for everyone >> everyone in your personal life also.
(05:37) >> It's not somebody is observing you then only you are doing it. No, no, no. Everything you do, you carry that kind of [laughter] responsibility on your shoulders and that's how it feels. You know, you take the responsibility wherever you think see things not going right, you go, you take initiative, you help people.
(05:56) >> So that what army makes you. >> And when you went to to the military, was there something that you saw that women uh they they were better than men? uh I'll not say because there is no comparison >> I'm not comparing here thing because when we go in military there is no male or female women or men it's more like an officers >> so we were treated like an officers yes in the entire organization but yes sometimes you meet one or two officers who have certain kind of perspective when they see you as a women officer
(06:38) not as an officer that time you feel bad because sometimes whatever I have seen it uh if there is a male officer who is not doing his job >> well or something people will call him incompetent. If there is a women officer similarly >> who is not doing her job well then sometimes for some officer it might comes to the gender not to the competence which feels bad sometimes.
(07:08) Sometimes yeah sometimes because in forge also we come from a different kind of bringing all together but it's not the organization organization always gives you the right opportunities if you're competent enough you will get the job and I always say competence is much more than the gender if you can do your job people will be there to appreciate that so the more is about the competence >> so it's more it's more about the culture right so it's not about the the organization is more what is in people's mind.
(07:40) >> Yeah. It's more about the personal person >> or the person. Yeah. >> It's more about the person the way they see >> things and we all are different. We we and I think uh that's what psychology taught me. >> So we see the world the way with our own experiences. >> Yeah. >> The way we are brought up >> and it's right.
(07:59) [laughter] >> We can't change it. But if you prove yourself, if you show them that you're competent enough, so more than words, your actions >> should speak louder. >> That's what I tell you. >> How did you how did you do that in the in in the army to >> just do your work? Just do your work with full honesty. That's it.
(08:23) It's not that complicated. When you are assigned some task, assigned something, just do it with your heart and soul. Complete it on time, be there, that's it. How difficult it is? No, it is not that difficult. Doing your job rightly, taking the you know, even if you're not able to do it, then take the responsibility.
(08:43) >> Yeah. >> That shows the offset like and I always tell it to the people I think more than sometimes everybody is not competent also of doing that particular thing. But intentions matter more than that. If your intentions are right, you did your best. >> Still if you lack somewhere, you should have that integrity to accept that also and that makes you an officer.
(09:08) >> Oh, >> that taking the moral responsibility and I think army is a very beautiful organization which actually trains you for that. >> For what? >> For taking the for courage, for taking the moral responsibility. So for uh everything I think >> how do they help you to to to let's say to to work on your ego because you said that it's very well >> yeah because when you are in academy most of the punishments you get it when you're not aware you what wrong you have done [laughter] >> so yes so when you when you are in the
(09:47) part of the academy so I don't remember even a single I have taken the n number of punishment we call it Raada >> okay >> and half of the ragda it not was because of I did something wrong no [laughter] because someone else have done something wrong and they're the part of your team and you should know how to you know be the part of that so there is no I >> okay >> in forge it's always we if we have achieved something it's we >> so beautiful >> if we have done something wrong it's we >> so all the victories and all the
(10:25) failures everybody take the responsibility of it. That is why when I is not there >> ego automatically goes down. >> Oh and do do you remember when was the the the the first time that you started really feeling that transition from I to we? >> Oh I'll tell you once [laughter] >> there's a good story there I can see.
(10:48) >> So be that was my first day in the academy. Okay. So first day in the academy. So I'm from a batch WS27. At that time the training was just of 6 months. So we never had our seniors in the academy. >> What do you mean? >> Uh when otherwise >> uh I I am from OTAA Chennai. So in OTAA Chennai so >> in a year two batches they um two batches will be there.
(11:18) >> So but for women officers the training was not for one year. It was just for six months. So when we had gone in the academy, we never had our seniors because when the boys pass out, they pass out in March and then they pass out in October. >> Oh, I see. I see. >> So, so the >> one batch when it goes, they have their seniors also over there. Fine.
(11:39) So when we had gone, we never had seniors. So what do they do? They make an appointments over there. >> So the first day I was made the appointment. So the role of appointment over there is to go and report to your instructors. Okay. So I was made first day and I was not from NCC. So I never knew the exact procedure or anything.
(12:01) I was into the sports. I thought that I'm very strong, physically strong. So I might not face any problem in the academy [laughter] and I had all my you know those you know I with the smartest one and all I have already played national. So many things which I was carrying false things [laughter] which I was carrying in the academy.
(12:22) So the first day I was reporting it to my DS and uh two of my DS was inside the room and I went there wearing the uniform. Jahind ma'am may I come in? [laughter] The person sitting inside them. Bloody hell who has told you to even ask? [laughter] And they told me go and bend down Rodrigo. First time in my life since childhood I was you know the most liked student of everyone [laughter] everybody loved me so much do thisana do this [laughter] so in my school I was so loved one in my college best allrounder student I always carry that before
(13:05) joining forge I was the guru maya of Punjab University people used to love me respect me that day first time somebody told me to bend down >> sports way the punishment used to be different because I knew that this is what wrong I have done it and I have come late to the that's why I'm getting this punishment and accepting that punishment is not wrong >> yeah yeah yeah >> okay so first day when they told me I was bent down and the tears coming out of my >> I never knew what wrong did I do and I was thinking now what am I at the
(13:43) right place [laughter] this This is what exactly what I wanted from my life. So those things comes when you go and join. But after that now I realize when it comes to military training they are preparing for you warlike situations. >> Oh >> and when it comes to war things are not fair. >> Oh >> so you can't ask if it is fair or not.
(14:09) >> So there they train your mind for that. Well, to be adaptable. >> To be adaptable. You can't question everything in a war. >> Oh, I see. >> Can you? No, you can't. When enemy comes, >> they'll do whatever they want to do. >> So adapting starts from the basics. >> Oh, >> so that's how they do it.
(14:32) So most of the raada, the physical training, the torture people tell whatsoever they do just to make you mentally and physically strong. And that's why I always keep telling it to people now after that for training and I just served for 5 years my coming 50 years I feel yeah life is good. >> It prepared you for life. >> Yes. It prepares you for life.
(15:01) So that is there. So in academy that kind of training is there because and that's how every time your ego doesn't come in between. >> Yeah. It's not I. Okay. It's we. Okay. Somebody else has done it. That's why you're getting Okay, fine. It's the team thing. Get the rag. >> Yeah. >> Get it. Okay. Fine.
(15:21) It [laughter] will get over. Okay. You'll get physically strong that you adapt your mind adapt. >> That's how they do it. >> So that how they shutter your ego, right? >> Yes. That's how they shut >> slowly slowly with all that. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> With all that situations. It's to put you into a situation where you kind of you just accept, right? and you adapt to the situation.
(15:44) So you already spoke about two very important values. One is about uh we not I uh and another one is about adapting to the situations. >> The most beautiful thing is adaptation. You will see a army officer serving at minus 40°. >> You will see an army of army serving at plus 50°. >> Wow. you. India is so diverse. The only thing you need is adaptability, acceptance, adaptability.
(16:19) That's how they do it. Can you tell me a story where you you if it was very special for you because you learned a lot in those five years in terms of either adaptability or something that you took for your life but it was a it was a maybe a >> harsh decision but I took it. >> Yeah. >> So I'll tell you so so since childhood as I told you my parents were for us career was very very important.
(16:48) Okay. So uh I was a very ambitious girl at that time you know I wanted to achieve in my life in my college in my university I always played uh I always worked extra I always uh represented school colleges everywhere even after joining forge I was doing well over there and uh then I got married to an infantry officer >> okay >> and then I became a mother.
(17:19) >> M >> and then all of the sudden things changed. Rodrigo, >> you became a mother while you were >> after. Yeah. While I was in army. >> While you were in the army. Okay. >> So all of the sudden things changed. All my mother instinct overpowered a career oriented girl. >> Oh. >> And that was a very difficult decision at that time because you need a support system to raise a child.
(17:46) >> Yeah. It's not that easy. So when you wear a uniform, put those stars on your shoulders, it's a 24 into7 job. Army is a 24 into7 job. And being a mother and then married to an infantry officer [laughter] is again a 24 into7 job. At that time my mother was working. >> Mhm. >> My father-in-law was working.
(18:12) I did not have that kind of family support. though my sister left her job and she came and stayed with me for 1 year >> while I was working >> to help you >> to help you. >> Wow. >> She was a dentist >> to help me with that. >> Fine. But I had to take a decision. >> So at that time I thought you know I won't be able to do justice to both the things.
(18:35) So at that time yes it was a difficult decision. I left army and I became a full-time mother. >> Because I thought because those initial years what I've learned from my parents, they have always thought about me first. >> Oh >> yes, I see. >> So for me it was not a second thought thinking about my child automatically it came to me.
(19:02) Okay fine when next posting me and my husband we both are due for field. What about my child? Then if I could have a family support, I might sh say I would have continued. But at that time, whatever circumstances I had though it was a difficult decision, but I knew my priority at that time. >> Take me take me through the the the the process.
(19:27) How do you how was the decision? What how was the first what was in your mind? >> Yeah. So it came to me my maternity leave got over after 8 months. Uh NB was born on 24th of September 2009. Then my maternity leave for 6 months and then 2 months of annual leave. In May I joined back my office. The first day to the office I will tell you Rodrigo I was not there in my office mentally.
(19:53) >> I was just sitting there physically >> and it's a feeling Rodrigo. Everybody is different. I'll not say there is no right and wrong in something. That day I realized now you're putting those stars on your shoulders and not able to do your best in an organization which wants your 100% I won't be able to do justice.
(20:20) Then I remembered my mother words and I'll tell it to you in Hindi that and I'll then explain zindi you won't get everything in your life. Whatever you get it you should be able to give 100% to that. >> Oh yes >> and if you are able to do that then you won't be regretting the next part. So that's how I did it and I took that decision after coming back home.
(20:52) I still remember my office was still 2:30 and 1:00 my face was so down. Otherwise I'm a very bubbly girl. [laughter] Everybody knew me. Oh Sana is so full of energy. So my my CEO was aware what she is. And that day [clears throat] he saw another sunana >> and he told me sunana you please go back home beta.
(21:14) and I went back home and that day I realized ma praep I won't be able to do it. So I told my husband >> so that's how then I thought ited that I will put up my paper after 5 years because married to an infantry officer also because he will do he will be due for his field posting one after another. So there has to be one parent at least who is stable with the child.
(21:37) So I was that parent >> and I feel proud of that. [laughter] >> [gasps] >> So I feel >> wow must have been. >> So that was the toughest decision of my life but I did it >> and after taking decision also you know >> all your decisions are always not right. Sometimes you have to make them right. >> Exactly. Yeah.
(22:01) So for for women who are uh watching us and maybe they are going through a similar situation in terms of they need to take a um a decision based on career or children. So what's your advice to them? >> Ask your heart because it tells you everything because we all are different. We all are wired different. >> Yeah. >> For all of us things are different.
(22:26) For example, that feeling I never knew I had before. I knew after my child was born. I knew it that he he became all of the sudden my world. I'll not say key every women are wired like that. >> So listen to your heart. Okay. Whatever is giving you that ultimate happiness, go ahead with that.
(22:49) You would be able to balance the next. So I will tell if you want because I know that people who are doing professionally well >> they must have compromised on their personal life because we all have 24 hours only now and people who are doing well in their professional life they must have compromised on their professional life a bit.
(23:08) >> So it complete everything is right. There is no right or wrong in this world. Everything depends upon you what you feel is right. It comes from your conscious. So listen to your heart is very very important. take that decision give your 100% to of that because if I left forge it does not mean that I did not do anything else after that I was able to make my career little bit not that great but at least I was able to manage similarly I know so many of my coursemates who are serving in armed forces their kids are also fine
(23:46) it's not like that so it completely depends upon you I have seen people they take decision and they keep on regretting on the other part grass is always greener on the other side. The only thing which you need to learn is water your own grass. So at that time I took the decision initial two years were very challenging for me.
(24:08) I had so many identity crisis everything I was not working. People comes and tells you so many things. Oh you had a job why did you leave it? uh you know all the working ladies their kids are raised so well need not to worry there will be people so people talk there are noises but listen to your heart I think you know your intentions you know yourself listen to your heart and then go ahead with that initial 5 10 years if you're and um the way I have been brought up I always thought because when I always gone back home I have always seen my
(24:42) parents at home >> in our time I have not seen MB Ambitious parents in today's time parents have become so ambitious but see at the cost of what and if I see if it at the cost of my child for me as a person it might not be right because I'll not feel right. Feelings are very important. I want to protect them at every cost.
(25:13) For me, nothing is more important than my own peace of mind. It never comes from the position you hold. It never comes from anything. You know yourself. Listen to your heart. And but it's not that difficult. [laughter] >> Right. >> Wow. That's how >> so beautiful. So basically what you're saying is is like there's no good or bad decision.
(25:41) The most important is for to ask deeply what you really really really want now and evaluate what what are you accepting or what are you rejecting so you need to give priority to something and just take that decision right that's what you said >> yeah sometime it might be wrong also but it's your decision you have all the energy to make it right >> but accepted right accept it yeah and what is interesting you said that like there were for two years there was like you had a kind of a identity crisis right tell me about what what happened.
(26:11) >> So all of the sudden, Captain Sonana was someone's wife. >> Oh, >> a girl who was always had her own identity. Be it in school, beat it in college, beat in university. People knew me for my own work. Oh, she's a good player. Oh, she's a good student. Oh, she always participated. Oh, she's all rounder student of the UN college.
(26:36) This that and that. I always the way I was brought up with my own identity. So when I left that I wanted so at that time my husband was posted in one of the beautiful station Palumbo. >> Where is that? >> Uh it's in Himachel must visit. Okay that's a beautiful place. >> So after leaving forge so we went to the unit.
(27:02) So NB was 1 year plus 1 year 4 5 months old >> and I was living like a movie life. I was so happy. Uh I'm a very homely girl also. I can take pride in keeping my own home well day. There was no issue in that also at that time. >> So next 3 months were very good. >> So my husband was serving. I was staying at home looking after everything.
(27:24) I you know changing my cushions, changing [laughter] my curtains. When my husband used to come back home, we used to have our own tea, cup of tea. So there was a beautiful dhaladar range in front of us, beautiful tree and life was so blessed. [laughter] I felt oh things can be nice. I was working for the organization, ladies of the organization.
(27:47) I was everything was going fine. And all of the sudden [snorts] my husband army he comes one afternoon back and he just you know slide a paper in front of me. He had written something on that. I told him I'll not accept it if it is a UN mission call. He started laughing. I started crying like what is this? Yeah I left for to have a family life.
(28:17) I wanted to stay with you. I wanted nerve to grow with you because when you get emotional sometime for a little bit of time when you get emotions intelligence key it goes left right [laughter] your emotions overpower everything. So at that time I got so emotional what are you doing? >> So UN is you have to go out of the country.
(28:39) >> Yeah. >> What is UNAS? >> UN is United Nation peacekeeping force. Yeah. United Nation peacekeeping. That was for for >> so for my husband he was he was supposed to go to Congo. Oh, >> at that time I left my forge to have a time. And now imagine a girl. [laughter] Now what I'm supposed to do? I never stayed with my own parents.
(29:02) Rodrigo after class 12th. >> I was so independent taking all my decisions independently. Now all of the sudden I became dependent with one and a half years old child. What am I supposed to do now? My husband is not there with me. What am I supposed to do now? I you know when Praep was there your home gives you that kind of space and the energy you know uh you get that energy but when Praep left all of the sudden now what am I supposed to do? Who will give me the job? No I want to work again then what about Nirbe? >> Oh wow.
(29:41) >> So it was so overwhelming. Did I take the right decision? I would have continued in army if he had to go. So so many decisions at that time and I still remember those 2 three months were even next two years were not that great. The most challenging phase was those two years 2011 to 2013. I left in March 2011.
(30:09) My husband went to Congo in September, no, August 2011. And then I told and so when my parents saw me that shattered, first time they saw me that shattered when I did not cleared my those I cleared my PAT but I could not clear my SSB air force. >> Okay. >> Again the you know uh failures keeps on coming in a sportsman life. >> Yeah.
(30:36) Yeah. Yeah. But few failures make you feel like a failure. So that was the first one and this was the second one. Again I felt like a failure that I can't do anything. And again my father he came what do you want to do like I want to restart everything from where I don't know but I'll find the way out but I need your help. I'll stay with you.
(31:03) Where do you want to stay? >> Wow. So beautiful. Your father is amazing. >> Yes. I want to stay in Gurong. I want to start with Delhi University because before joining army, I was already teaching. So I was very passionate for teaching. So my dad, I will join DU again. I started applying for jobs like any job coming.
(31:27) I wanted to have my identity back. So those were those challenging years. I took a house in Gura. My dad came and stayed with me for two years because my mother was working at that time. He left my mother. My mother supported him. Okay, fine. You stay with Sonana because she's not in the right frame of mind. And we all keep on getting these.
(31:49) I think every woman will relate to it because these and these are the feelings Rodrigo. It's not anything rational. If you think rationally, yes. Okay, fine. Oh, she was an officer. She could have salary was there my husband was working but sometime it's not about salary it's much more than that it's a feeling and those two years I still remember I was teaching in Delhi University I completed my MBA I had a child who was one and a half years old 2 years old and I was trying to do all my best so that my child doesn't fear that his dad is not there with you then I had
(32:28) a dad who was a old man. But I wanted to give my best to my dad. Those two years I lost my confidence in myself. Then there were my friends. My friend Monica, she was my constant. She came to me and she told me few words. Whenever you lose confidence now, always believe you are my role model.
(32:58) And all of the sudden everything changed >> again. One person that believes in >> one person in your life that who believes in you. >> Yeah. >> So I joined as a ad hoc faculty in Delhi University which was 45 km away from my house. >> Wow. >> I used to go daily morning from there to here. Coming back I used to get up 5 in the morning.
(33:18) I used to make all the breakfast and the lunch for my dad. >> Then I used to go I used to come. Then I completed my MBA which I registered in 2008 because me Delhi is too far. I was staying in Gurong sector 57 if I'll complete my MBA. Now there was one uh university just next to my house 2 km away.
(33:39) I feel I complete my MBA then I might be able to teach over there. So in 5 months I gave 36 papers. How did I do it? Then I started going by Metro Rodrigo me. Okay I'll go in metro. I made the time table structured one. So once chapter I used to do >> while going it was 1 hour 15 20 minutes journey from Huda city center to Kashmir gate.
(34:06) [laughter] I used to wear si >> used to go to teach students sometimes I never used to get seat. So I used to sit on the corner [laughter] because I was underlining and making my notes. I still remember those days. [laughter] Okay. I used to go I used to come back evening coming back I used to take my son to the park I used to play with him I used to get him back I used to make him bath achie I used to feed him because my dad used to take him to the school and used to get him and then he used to make him sleep by that time I was back when he
(34:35) used to got up then both mom and son [laughter] we used to have our own time then coming back I used to make na sleep around 9:30 10 then 10 I 10:00 again I used to start studying till 3 2 4 whatever my day I you know I thought that I would be completing this I used to complete that >> again that discipline you >> yes >> it was given to me by my dad and more multiplied by forge training [laughter] >> you can't just leave it like that >> so I completed my MBA >> in June 2012 immediately after that I applied in that university which was
(35:20) next to my house and I got the job over there. [laughter] >> Wow. >> So travel was less. So whatever opportunity I had it was not the best but I tried to make the best out of it. But yes at that time my things were very overwhelming. Many a time in those two years I started judging myself. Whatever I'm I doing is right because at that time sometimes uh uh the other family also doesn't support you.
(35:53) They ask different questions why she's doing it why she she could have stayed with us she could have done this but uh I felt it some other way around. So at that time and uh after those two years something made me realize that it's not that difficult. If you really want to do something you can do it. I don't know what best is for others but what was best for me I try to do it Rodrigo. So that was the thing.
(36:28) >> Wow. >> Sorry I got emotional. [laughter] That is so beautiful. >> I think being a woman is not easy >> sometimes. Yeah. Because those mother instinct know those feelings that feeling of nurture. >> You have to take care of others. You have to take care of your family. Now also you know my child is in grade 12 and my father is old enough.
(36:54) >> So I have both the responsibilities. >> Yeah. >> I have to look after my parents also. I have to look after my child also. And in between I always see my career in between not before them. That's who I am as an individual. If I have to compromise one or two things here and there I'll do it very easily because my priorities are clear.
(37:15) >> Yeah. >> If it is coming at the cost because we all are different. the kind of that I say satisfaction and things I get it uh is through my relationships that makes me who I am. If I won't be able to give time to my parents now I'll be more guilty >> because that's your priority. >> That's that's my priority and we all are different. We have different priorities.
(37:42) Problem with today's time is we don't know our priority. >> We don't know ourselves. Self-awareness [clears throat] is very very important and it makes your life easy when you are aware of yourself what you want what you likes to do it and it's very easy then to find that purpose also in your life to make your life more meaningful so I have seen people struggling so when I teach my students I always teach them but the first step is this only we won't be perfect in everything we do no we are not we all are human beings are we all
(38:20) will make mistakes I might be good at something but there will be 10 things which I'm not good at >> so but getting aware of that is the first thing and the second come is acceptance sometimes people are aware you know this is but they don't accept >> oh I see >> yeah so acceptance is much more important Then the awareness >> yes >> accept it. Yeah.
(38:52) [clears throat] This is who I am. People come and ask me yes I am emotional. I [laughter] tell it to everyone. So how do emotional does not mean that I know the ways to channel it. >> Exactly. >> Sometime it might be my tears sometimes might be anger. We all have our own ways sometimes but acceptance is very very important. So I think that made my life bit easy to taking decisions.
(39:27) I'm not scared of taking decisions. I'm not scared of you know and another thing I don't I know what I want to do in my life. I always knew what I want to do in my life. I had very clarity. Okay. This is what it is. >> What? What was it? >> So after leaving forge when I started teaching, I knew it.
(39:49) My student gives me all the happiness. >> I see. >> Shaping these young minds is the only thing which I wanted. >> When I'm with my student, I'm you know I don't look at my watch. >> Yeah. >> If it sometimes I take online sessions. So it was just for 1 one and a half hours. It started at 8:00 until 12:30 it was just going on and my mother came twice do you want to have your dinner make no my students are [laughter] there they want to ask something so that's passion >> and I feel lucky that I know my passion which gives my life some purpose I feel
(40:25) bad for the people who don't know their passion who don't know their purpose purpose life you know your life gets meaning when you start doing it for others because you can't lie to yourself. No one knows you better than you. You know your intentions [laughter] h when it comes at the cost of something you know oh it was something mine on at the end your own peace of mind goes and when it is all unconditional you are there to give it to others.
(40:57) [laughter] So people comes now how do you stay happy it's not that difficult [laughter] >> but the beauty but what is beautiful what I love is that of course you left the the the army but you didn't leave your purpose your purpose was still there and your exactly your purpose was to serve it doesn't matter is it the army >> it was country now it is the people of the country >> and even was like even was was the the the army then it was your son >> and then then it it's your students but your purpose is there and they accepted
(41:30) that and you changed the you change the identities mean >> and in our life also our priorities keeps on changing >> are you getting when my son was just one and a half years old whose father is not there >> yes >> the only my priority at that time was n >> but now my son is in grade 12 he's very independent I don't have to tell him to do this do that he does everything himself now again for last 3 four years.
(41:57) >> Mhm. >> I've started building up my career again. >> So there is no right age. >> Yeah. >> We all are different. We all have different support system. We all have different you know we don't need not to judge the people. I keep telling all the women and in army because in women when they come now and when you get married to an army officer Rodrigo your own dreams always come secondary.
(42:27) M >> because you are loving a person. >> Yeah. >> Who loves his country and men more than you. >> What a situation. Yeah. >> It's not easy. >> Exactly. >> So all the if a off if a soldier is serving 100% of it it because they have a strong support system back at home. >> Wow. All the army wives I have seen such young girls so career oriented achieved so much in their life during their college life, university life but all of the sudden when you fall in love with an fudgy [laughter] you know your world revolves around them
(43:08) and that also is serving a nation. >> Exactly. >> It's not less than that. >> Yeah. >> It's not less than that. You see a army wife most of the time they are single mothers. My son class 10th 15 schools he has changed 15 schools in when he was in grade 10 of that kind of adaptability. Three times I have shifted my house the whole truck without my husband.
(43:41) >> Oh wow. 17 18 years of marriage more than 18 times I have shifted my house. [laughter] >> So we are movers and packers. >> Adaptability is your last name. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. And the best part people keep on asking me you know what what was more challenging. I keep telling >> when I joined forge forge trained me to become an officer >> but when I married an inventory officer nobody trained me for [laughter] that.
(44:10) So they learn through their own course all the ladies. So hats off to all the women. >> Yeah. >> Lady wives you know they are way beyond beautiful. That's why they you know these are the silent ranks which they on their shoulders all the time. Just not looking after your own parents looking after his parents also is our responsibility.
(44:34) It's very important >> and hats off to you. I mean, so I mean, such an an inspiration about like how you were able to to to to guide your life in a way that feels good to you and you fought. I mean, the the the your grit and adaptability, of course, you had the the the people, >> but also the credit goes to you how you built Yeah.
(45:02) a life where you you were able to to continue to serve despite all the the the the changes that happened in your life. So >> kudos to you. It's and also to be honest, I mean I want to give a a word to your father. What's the name of your father? >> Moinder Singh. >> Moinder Singh Singh. >> He was a handwall coach. >> He was my coach.
(45:22) My dad always trained me. >> Okay. >> Yeah. So he was a hand wall coach and I used to play. I have played many nationals in handball. So my dad was my coach, >> he was my mentor >> and my dad proud of him. >> His name Moindra Sindra, [laughter] I don't know you but I have a feeling that you are a great person, great heart and I'm very very inspired by what you did with your daughter.
(45:53) So uh sending you regards here from Delhi. >> Thank you so much Rodney. [laughter] We would be very happy to hear that. >> [gasps] >> Yeah. And now actually now I also want to address the the the women. Um in our podcast we have more female than male. Yeah. And I know a lot of you are watching.
(46:14) And so for for the the the our beautiful female audience who is watching us and a lot of women maybe they go through a situation where there's so much going on and they have to compromise so much that maybe they they get a bit lost in terms of their identity and what to do how to manage so many things. What would be your advice to them? First thing uh I just want to tell them you know whenever you are going to take decisions in your life people will question you >> sometimes from left sometime from right don't hear those noises just believe in
(46:51) yourself and when it comes to when we start using the term compromises in our life that actually drains our energy >> when When you start using the terms responsibility in your life, it gives you the energy. So when I became a mother, it was not a compromise for me to raise my own child. It was a responsibility of me to raise my child.
(47:23) What I thought at that time is right. Sometime taking the responsibility of your parents is a duty of a child. And in that even if I have to comp at that time adjust or compromise on little bit of my dreams it's okay. >> Yeah. >> So that feeling of responsibility was taught to me through armed forces. Wearing a uniform is not just putting those stars on your shoulder.
(47:53) It's the taking the responsibility of whatever you do in your life. So all the women whatever you do it's a responsibility take it as a responsibility then only you would be able to find meaning in that job. I have seen so many women who take pride of keeping their homes homemakers. It's not an easy job.
(48:16) It's not a easy job. I think going out and working is still easy because when you go out people appreciate you. You are getting paid for that. But when you stay at home, >> you looks after your home, you looks after your family, >> they also need appreciation and just start feeling proud in that. I keep telling to whatever you do when you start taking pride in that now >> when you start feeling responsible for that it gives meaning.
(48:46) I know so many teachers so for me wearing a uniform and being a teacher both the things I take pride in that. Shaping the minds is not an easy thing. So everything when we what we do has to come from you know from the position of responsibility. That's what I want to say to all the women who are watching this. >> That's so beautiful.
(49:14) So what you said there's no there's the word compromise there. It's not important. The most important is the is the the what is something that you want. You take this decision and you take the responsibility for this and that's all that matters. The rest doesn't doesn't matter. And you just take the decision, right? That's not perfect.
(49:33) But you just take the decision. >> You take it and sometimes it might be left or right. Then give your energy because all the time you know >> circumstances or opportunity might not be the best one. >> And how do you so because you you study psychology, right? >> Yeah. It helped me a lot. So how do you how do you teach your students to to have more awareness >> you know so when the student takes the psychology as a subject >> so they want to become a counselor they want to help people you know they want to go into the clinical field or
(50:02) something so the first thing I tell my students is till the time you're not able to sort your own life >> if you don't have clarity of your own life >> you won't be able to do this this to other >> you see people comes to you for certain kind of help. >> Are you getting me? So if [laughter] you're going to a counselor, h it's a skill.
(50:26) >> Anybody can know the theory. >> Yeah. >> But how you make that other person feel >> is the skill and the energy and the vibes you carry. Human connect is the beauty of psychology. It's the study of mind and human behavior. And the connect is the most most important thing. Connect.
(50:47) Connect with human emotions as a mother. Connect with your child. It's not correct your child. Connect with your child. If I'm a forgi, connect with my country comes from when I connect with my pulton. When I connect with the troops, when I connect with the families, they all are human beings. So connect makes everything easy. So I keep telling don't lose your connect.
(51:14) You can disagree with the people but don't miss the connect and if you think that you will start thinking about all of the sudden country comes first it's your roots feel proud of that >> I belong to a village I go back there it's my connect it's my roots which gives me this power >> I can't miss that if I'm there today because on the sacrifices of some other people I know that I remember that that connect connect with my parents You know I have to take the responsibility.
(51:48) Then comes the connect with my unit pelton. Then comes your country. It has to from the lower level basics. Start from the basics. Rest is multiplication. If your basics are strong like in army when we go we start from basic. How to make your bed, how [laughter] to tie your laces, how to wear your uniform, how to eat food with fork and knife, everything.
(52:16) How to be on time. Basics rest multiplies automatically. If your basics are strong, >> yeah, >> you don't have to work any other way around. We start opposite. We dream big and we leave basics. how you know >> what you are is just all because of your daily choices. Simple. >> Out of these lessons, I'm curious or out of these uh what you've learned um what is the the number one value that you taught to your uh child? >> Character, integrity.
(52:54) Character is the most character is not you know the only thing which I keep telling it to nurb it is not beta who you are in front of me who you are in front of others character is what you do when nobody's watching you >> wow [laughter] >> that's it nirva that's who you are nirva >> you can make fool of the entire world but you can't make fool of yourself >> from where you get your peace from your own intentions from your own neat if that conscious is clear nothing is difficult. Yeah.
(53:32) You can fight with the entire world then [laughter] know your conscious is clear when your own conscious is not clear. So the only value and that was taught to me my dad also get this one character is the most important thing in a person. It stays with you. It builds your personality. It builds how you walk, how you talk, everything. Integrity.
(54:01) It's very important. >> How do you how do you teach to a to a a kid character? >> By sharing my own values, by sharing my own stories. This is what happened when there was this thing. This is what happened when this was these things. Sometimes what? And sports actually sports taught me a lot. Rodrigo and in parenting sessions when I take it so I keep telling to all the parents also you know in today's time if the only parenting tool which I want to give it to you is take your child to sports training that's it >> their energy will be channelized
(54:38) properly this phone AI it's hampering the emotions how to stay happy how to you know feeling of winning feeling of losing crying so when I look at these young students in today's time let me tell you human connect is missing and they don't understand emotions I hardly see them smiling a lot in our time when I remember my college time now we were so bindas [laughter] we were smiling I still remember you know one incident um I was in army.
(55:20) So uh so everybody used to see me a very happy bubbly girl, smart, full of energy and I was just 24 25 at that time my first posting. So I was just running to and there was one senior JCO he came to me and he asked me you know what question how do you stay happy ma'am? And I was just 24 at that time 25. What did you tell him? >> I did not have any experience at [laughter] that time to tell you.
(55:51) >> I don't know. That's the only thing I know. >> Yeah. So, >> so what did you tell >> I asked him why don't you stay happy? >> There has to be the reason behind it. >> And then one day I sat him with with him in library. I listened to him. That's it. That's what I you know I have done my masters by that time.
(56:15) So [laughter] I was able to thank God I was able to he was treating me like an officer. I was a young officer at that time. So uh I still remember in the library we sat for around 1 one and a half hours. He shared all his problem with me. >> First I listened to him. Second I just told him sir if I would have been at your place now I would be doing this simple if I would have been at your place I would be doing this.
(56:40) And that might helped him >> because after that whenever I used to meet him he used to smile [laughter] and that was a very big thing for me. So now when >> why do you think he he he he was smiling what? >> Because someone cared someone listen nobody has time even to listen. >> Yeah true >> people lack that. So when I go to first day in my class now the only thing when new student comes now whatever theory is there in psychology you all will understand.
(57:16) >> Yeah. >> The only thing I want to see you all is smiling connecting. I have told them when you enter a college the gatekeeper standing there please wish him. There is no so when you travel also now these days people are so glued with the phone rodrio there might be another person sitting next to you who just need sometimes someone come and ask me how are you and he might be so full sometime you might be able to help him out asking how are you and that to a genuine >> that's very important
(58:00) >> please beta ask one day I was just doing this uh a short experiment >> so I started in this college itself >> so I started from my I parked my car in the parking so my let me see how many student wish me today [laughter] >> a simple thing that's a human connect >> it's simple thing >> so I must have crossed around 150 students and out of them only six or seven wished And for a for me as a teacher of psychology that was more important than teaching them the syllabus.
(58:41) >> So when I go and I tell them vita it's not wishing it's making an eye contact with that person at that moment. >> It's making that other person that you are seen in the college. It's making that other person something relies of human values that yes you are there I've seen you how are you it's not that big thing so that's their more role as a teacher to work on their emotional and this social learning because with AI information is there with everybody these days it's not that difficult and when a student they they will find info
(59:24) The only thing when I go and take sessions also I don't make my BPTs like already you are overwhelmed with the info. The only thing sometimes they need is the emotional human connect >> emotional intelligence. >> It's the most important thing which is lacking these days. >> How do you teach them? How do you teach them? Because I think connection is something I I agree with you.
(59:45) I think it's today people are disconnected. I think everyone is in their in their own world, in their own phones, in their own uh social media, but I think people are are uh uh they want connection, they want love, they want Yeah. And so that's why I I really resonate with you, which is like if we connect more, you never know what can happen in the other side.
(1:00:08) Sometimes just a a simple like hi, how are you can change like someone's day, you know, can have an impact. >> But how do you teach that? go to class I make sure that I have an eye contact with each and every child in the class. >> Nice. >> I don't miss that. >> How old are they? >> Be they are in college first year second year students first year second year >> because all student when they come they come from a different background.
(1:00:32) >> Many of the students are coming from the broken families. >> It's very difficult. I still remember there was one student in my class because I am in heaven. I don't sit and teach. I go I touch my student. Yeah, >> human feelings are very very important. >> You know when somebody comes and tap on my shoulder, it gives a different feeling altogether.
(1:00:53) >> I do it with my students. >> I make an eye contact with them. I tell them, I listen to them. You know it's not just completing syllabus and whenever the syllabus is there every theory we have our own personal experiences to share with them and more than my victories my failures are more important to shared with them meta even I did it at your age still you are so and once you listen to them now these young generation let me tell you they are wonderful Rodrigo I I meet so many people who keep telling now key jenzes are like this jenzes are
(1:01:33) like that jenzes are not this this this so what forge has taught me rather than blaming >> I take the responsibility >> who are raising them it's you and me >> have we gone wrong somewhere >> if they're doing this or that when a child watches iPhone somebody has given him now >> those are two years child cannot go and buy a It's you and me now who have given them.
(1:02:03) Then why we are blaming it? When a child is till the age of seven and 8, it's very easy to give them the shutup call. >> Yeah. >> And that time the emotional connect is built the most with the warmth of the body of the mother. That time we missed it. So when a child is at the teenage now they are not scared.
(1:02:26) that time that connect which you missed in last 10 years start affecting your life at that time. So when I go to my class I know these students are those students. It's not nobody wants to be you know that rowdy in the class. Nobody wants that's the easy way you know the easy things which they you know everybody start pointing them on some of the other things.
(1:02:50) So the easy thing they do it oh I'm like that only they will start disrespecting you. But I see that disrespect comes from where? >> Nobody wants that. So when you just touch that beautiful code of that child and I say eyes are the most beautiful thing. If you love someone, it is expressed through your eyes. If you hate someone, you don't need your words.
(1:03:20) [laughter] >> Yeah. I keep telling my students you know you don't have to slap on my face your eyes tells me everything you don't have to come and tell me that ma'am I love you it is seen you don't have to use words bitter I'm way beyond it [laughter] I see in you I seen each and every so there was one child sitting and she was not the same girl at that day I looked at her and I told her ada what happened beta and she just started crying >> wow Imagine but as a teacher are we making that connect as a elder don't you think it's
(1:03:57) my responsibility I can't expect that young child they are already overwhelmed with that emotions at that age they don't know how to express it nobody has taught him so when I checked from her she lost her father two days before >> oh wow >> and I just hugged her and that's it nothing else they just need a tight hug work they just need an assurance that I'm there is not in your good times in your bad times also it's okay and I just need to tell them everything is going to be okay beta you need not to worry don't take
(1:04:34) everything so seriously in your life it's your young age your youth you have energy need not to worry mega when I was of your age you know I used to do this I used to do this just keep giving your examples so I time in today's youth they don't have good role models. So so true >> because you're blaming other it means you're >> how can you change other person we can't we can change ourself >> so every time when somebody says now I only thing which I tell we are the one who are raising them >> it's the plant >> whether they will bloom or not depends
(1:05:12) upon how you are watering it it's as simple as that it's not that complicated you know I've seen I when I go to the university now I'll tell you I see two kind of students There will be one students if a class is of 80 there will be 20 25 students who inspires me daily. When I look at them now I tell them oh my god what kind of vision you have at such a young age vita because this we are not able to understand this generation.
(1:05:39) This generation is overwhelmed with information. >> Yes. >> And we are still trying to give them more information. Do this do this. Do this. This generation lacks emotion. >> Yes. >> We need to work upon that. >> Connection. Connection. Yeah. Yeah. >> In our time there was already that there was only one DD1 DD2.
(1:05:58) In India, there was no more exposure. Family values were so damn strong in every vacation. I used to go to my Boa's place, my Moss's place, my aunt place, family, cousins, they lack it. We chose the nuclear family. Our generation chose the nuclear family because when it comes to adjustment we have to adjust. Sometimes it has to be within the family sometimes with husband every no relation is perfect.
(1:06:26) >> Yeah. >> And you can't expect 50/50 in any relationships be it child or be it anything. You know some days I might be doing my 80 90 sometimes that other person is not left with the energy their 10 will be d and sometimes I in last few days I was with my 10 of the energy and my son was with the 90 was supporting me in everything I was doing for last 10 days and it was so beautiful for me it's okay mama the way I tell you you just take it out take it out [laughter] so that's the beauty so connect if somebody says it please it's high time
(1:07:03) now stop blaming start taking the responsibility we are elders we have more the responsibility so I love my students I love all these jenzies no doubt in that >> but let me stop because I think you love everyone so [laughter] >> blessed also >> I mean it's beautiful I think I mean um you have such an amazing energy I love the I mean the sh the the shine that is coming from your eyes your smile I'm feeling very very inspired um and looking at your journey it's been what a beautiful journey and I think to end our
(1:07:42) conversation I would like even to go back to to your uh tw 10 12 year old in the village how do you feel when [snorts] you look back at that 10 12 year old there in the in in the village [snorts] >> so um uh uh it was not a village exactly. I was born in the village but for 4 years we stayed in the village. After that we shifted to the city.
(1:08:06) >> Yes. >> So when I remember of my school and the life that again I will tell you I was I never thought that I'm a girl or I am a boy. That distinction was not there at that time also. I was like a you know a girl who was completely outdoor lover. [laughter] Okay. When I see of my young age, I never wanted just to be a classroom girl.
(1:08:37) I was a backbencher, but I was participating in all the activities of the schools. So for my childhood, if I go back and remember, I remember my school first and uh be dance competitions, be it games, sports, even for the that lunch break of the school, I used to finish my food and I used to play volleyball with boys. So that was who I am uh at that young age also and uh my mother was working my dad was working so we had to help our parents also in the hchos also.
(1:09:12) So after coming back who will do jaru who will do pojas everything and uh one incident of my life when I was in class 10th that also changed a lot in me and I want to tell it to you Rodrigo my dad had an heart attack when I was in class 10th he was into sports we never expected he was a tea totler he never smoked >> fine so so when he had an heart attack Even he himself was not aware.
(1:09:43) He thought you know some gastric problem is there. He never had scooter. He went on the cycle and got admitted. When I came back from the school I came to know that my father had a heart attack or something like that. And uh for 72 hours he was on oxygen. So when his oxygen they took off the mask.
(1:10:06) I was standing there. My mother was standing. My chachu was standing. Three of us were standing over there. My mother was crying like anything. The first thing he told my mother looking at me, why you are crying? She's there to support you. What else you need in your life? >> Imagine a belief of a parent in a child who was in class 10 at that time.
(1:10:34) I was just 15. That day all of the sudden I realized oh my god something in me changed their trust in me changed who I was all of the sudden I became so responsible now so whenever I went to Delhi or was doing anything those words you know at the young age you want to do this those that toasa you want to go here and there the young age is like that but those words always echoed Oh my god, that much of trust that old man have in me.
(1:11:11) How can I break his trust? That changed or about say I was always, my parents were very dependent on me for everything. My mother will not even buy a glass without my you know asking me oh so nana will come and tell me what needs to be you know we'll buy this we'll buy this beat anything I have always been considered as the eldest child of the house.
(1:11:36) So any even my young brother my young sister it's a beautiful family values and if you say me you find everybody beautiful because I'm blessed again I'm telling you you perceive the world the people around you >> so my husband also plays very important role that person still feels oh she was not able to do it because you know I was not and I tell him no you never told me it was not your decision it was my decision No.
(1:12:03) >> So I stand by it. Fine. Uh we don't have very competent might not be the most top CEOs in our family but we have a family who support each other. Beat left be right. So whatever you achieve in your professional life, your personal life is also very important. Invest time in your relationships. Very important.
(1:12:28) Relationships are very important. It's not what you become. Who is standing when you become something next to you is very important. If there is a person whom I can hug tightly is this thing emotional connect. One one time I taught my child how to hug. He never knew [laughter] that you know warmth >> hugging your daddy grandmother your nani you need to know nir hug them tightly so that [laughter] they feel that you are there with them.
(1:13:00) So I teach my students also. Yeah. Why you hugging like that? Hug me tightly. Okay. [laughter] That's the beauty you needed. The basics. Okay. [gasps] So that's what I teach them. >> So good. >> How do you feel right now? >> I feel so good. I shared so much with you. Uh it's nice if uh mas you know you feel why do we you know the social media has a lot of power because this young generation is on reals only.
(1:13:29) So there is already so much of negative content there on the media which our young generation is consuming. So we have made the responsibility to make that positive content on media so that they see this also. So now if your audience see and even if one of the person might able to change their perspective through the life or if we are able to give them hope anything something positive which gives them energy to move forward in your life I think thanks to you then for giving me this opportunity and sharing my little journey with you
(1:14:02) >> when you know that already happened because I'm already so inspired by [laughter] you that is already happened and I mean of course we are present and we let our audience audience see if they can get something. But I want to tell you that I mean this conversation was beautiful. >> Um and uh yeah I think um I'm happy that uh um we were able to go deep and you I think you shared so many beautiful uh >> yeah little little experiences which you which is still there in your you know conscious whatever decision you take it
(1:14:35) based on those memories. So I shared whatever little. >> So keep just keep loving and connecting and uh helping those kids in need and but you're doing well and I appreciate I'm so happy that >> I brought you and also our audience can benefit from all your energy and their wisdom. >> Thank you so much.
(1:14:58) Thank you so much Roica for this opportunity. Thank you. God bless you.